HYUKJAE’s POV

(REPOST)

“Hae! Where are you going?!” I said, half angry, and half tired. We’ve been strolling in the mall for almost two hours just because this fellow wanted to go out, and dragged me here. It’s a Sunday and we had to wear disguises to not draw attention, but it’s really hard concealing our identity with that guy going missing every second I leave my eyes off him, just like now! We’re taking a rest at a bench when something caught his eye and he didn’t even bother waiting for me and just went to the direction where the crowd was piling.

“I will not go to a mall with him again,” I mentally noted to myself as I drag my feet to where he ran off. I’m dead to Heechul-hyung, Leeteuk-hyung, Kangin-hyung…and the rest of the members if I lost him. Aish! Why did he have to be everyone’s favorite? It’s so hard to be his bestfriend.

I’ve been searching for him for nearly half an hour and I haven’t seen a bouncy brown haired guy, wearing a white cap and black shirt, where could he have possibly been? Calling him would be useless too, since the guy never picks up his phone, isn’t that the main reason why you have that item by the way? Tsk. Going to the customer service is impossible since if I paged him, fans will surely spread the word. Really, why is he making my life so difficult? I looked around the second floor once for the second time, muttering excuse me’s and sorry’s to the people I bumped and lowered my cap, and finally…I saw him!

He was sitting on the floor inside a shop called, “Bow Wow” and he’s cradling 2 dogs, a white fury one and a brown, skinny one. I made my way to him, but stopped when I saw him smiling at the dogs warmly, Donghae only smiled that way to me…aish, what am I thinking? I stood behind him, preparing myself to scold him, and when he felt my presence, he looked up and smiled brightly at me.

“Hyukkie~! Look look! Isn’t this shop cool?! You can pet the puppies here! This cute fella’s Bada and this little Hyukkie is Choco,” he said happily, introducing me to the dogs and that’s how why resolve to scold him from almost getting lost flew out of the window, just like that. For some unexplained phenomenon, Donghae affects me that way, making me forget why I was mad at him just because he’ll flash me that famous Donghae smile. I sat next to him, and patted the brown dog.

“Little Hyukkie?” I asked him.

“Yeah, the moment I saw him, he reminded me of you…speaking of which, where have you been?” he looked at me and gave me that innocent-look-combined-with-tilting-the-head-to-the-right-a-bit look and I just chuckled, once again amazed at Donghae for affecting me like that. I guess it’s because we’ve been bestfriends for so long.

“I was…looking around,” I just answered and he shrugged his shoulder.

“Guys, this is my bestfriend, Hyukjae, come on, greet him properly,” he talked to the dogs, and somehow, and I don’t know how, the dogs understood him since they my hand and went back to Donghae, except for Choco who stayed beside me so I took him.

“Wow..haha, that Bada looks like you, you know,” I commented, patting Choco’s head.

“I know, haha, and his name means The Sea, we really are compatible, aren’t we, Bada?” he raised the dog to face him then kissed it. He smiled at the dog and turned to face me.

“What?” He asked.

“What, what?” I asked in return.

“You’re looking and smiling at me like a monkey, you know,” he said then chuckled.

“I was just admiring how you two look,” I teased but he ignored it.

“Why don’t we adopt them, Hyukkie?” He suddenly suggested.

“What? No. You know Heechul-hyung won’t allow it…Heebum is in the dorms, remember?” I told him matter-of-factly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Heechul-hyung about it. Come on, Hyukkie, please???” He pouted, and trust me, it took all the energy left I had to reject that face.

“Hae, a No is a No, I am sorry. I want them too, but we can’t really take care of them with all the schedule we have, do you want them to feel lonely?” I asked, knowing pretty well that this will convince him and I was right…he eyes the dogs tearfully before putting Bada down and he stood up, left the store, leaving me again.

Before he was out of sight, I caught his arm.

“Where are you going again?” I asked.

“I want to go back,” he said and sniffed.

Wait…he sniffed?

“Hae, are you crying?”

“No,” he whispered with a thick voice.

I held his hand and dragged him out of the mall, with our heads down, we successfully got out and went straight to my car. He got in silently as soon as I released his hand and I got in on the driver’s seat. The driver home was uncomfortably quiet. Hae didn’t even bother switching on the radio, he just stared out the window, and as soon as I parked outside of our dorm he got out, went in and went straight to his room. I silently followed him after being asked by my members what happened but I just told them it’s nothing.

KNOCK.KNOCK.

No answer, I twisted the knob and it was open. I went in without hesitation, since this is practically like my room too. I scanned the dimly lit room and saw him lying on the bed, face down.

“Hae, I know you’re upset for not getting the dogs,” I said as I sat beside him in the bed and he sat down as soon as I did, revealing his teary eyed face that tugged a string in my heart, I really hate seeing him like this. Not knowing what else to do, I hugged the younger.

“We’ll adopt them as soon as we get our break, okay? Don’t cry.”

I’ve been having that dream for two days in a row, every night, the same dream. Ever since that night that I made it a possibility that I might feel something for Hae, he never seem to leave my thoughts. Wherever I go, he’s always there, I can always hear him, I can always see him, it’s making me crazy! And the dream is making me crazier. That happened a year ago, right here at the same mall, at the same shop.

Yes, today I am here in front of the Bow Wow shop, thinking whether I should go in or not, I’m not even sure why I’m here, I just woke up today, deciding that I should go to this place.

“Is there anything we can do for you?” A middle-aged lady greeted me and I just smiled and nodded. Finally, I went in and the dream became more vivid as I stared at the exact same place where Hae was sitting with---

Woof! Woof! Woof!

Two dogs came out and greeted me, these dogs…

“Bada, Choco,” I recalled and crouched down to pat them both on the head.

“Oh, this is lovely, they actually went near you,” he lady said.

“What do you mean, ma’am?” I asked, standing up with the two dogs in my arms.

“Well, those two never came near on any of our customers for a year, it’s starting to worry me, but it’s good to know that they ran to you, looks like you know them already,” she said.

I smiled, “Actually, my friend and I visited this shop a year ago and happened to play with these two,” I said.

“Ahm, excuse me, ahjumma?” I said.

“Call me Gemma. What is it dear?” she answered kindly.

“Ahm, Gemma-ssi, are these two…can I buy them?” I asked and she beamed.

“Oh, finally! These two are the last ones here, since my husband and I’ll be moving to states next week, I was starting to think of putting them on another pet shop, good thing you came!” she clapped her hands and got some papers.

“I hope he’ll like my surprise when he comes back,” I told the dogs and they barked in unison.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

CRACK!

A sound of a glass breaking made me quicken my pace as I entered our dorm with the two dogs in my arms.

“What the hell did you say?!” I heard Heeechul-hyung shriek, and his voice was coming from the kitchen so I made my way there, followed by the other members, all looking at the member who made the ruckus.

“Wha---how---” he started but shutted his mouth, listening intently to whoever it is on the other line then he sighed but starting being his diva self.

“I will call you again, okay?! If you didn’t answer on the first ring, I swear I’ll strangle you to death when you get back! Take care of him, okay?” He ended and shut his phone, finally taking notice that we are all watching him. He eyed us one by one, then ended up giving a worried look.

“What’s wrong, Heechul? Who was it?” Leeteuk-hyung asked, walking near him.

“Hankyung,” the diva answered.

“Oh? What happened to him?” Teukkie-hyung asked again.

“Nothing happened to him. It’s--- Donghae fainted today, he’s rushed to the hospital,” Heechul-hyung informed us.

“He—Hae?” I blurted, and Heechul-hyung just nodded, not bothering looking who spoke. I felt something wiggling in my arms…oh, it’s Bada. The members suddenly started dialing on their phones, calling whoever the members are in China to check on Hae, but sady, they can’t get through. So, I silently retreated to my room, placing the dogs down right after closing the door and slumped in my bed.

Donghae…he’s sick.

“How on earth did you get sick just by getting wet in the rain?” Hae asked incredulously, placing a wet towel in my forehead.

“Shut up. Whose fault is it that I got wet in the rain anyway?” I replied weakly, closing my eyes.

“It’s entirely your fault for being weak,” the younger answered, fixing my blanket, and placing his hand on my cheek, checking my temperature.

I was quietly enjoying my quality time reading my book, One Piece, when a very annoying human being popped out of nowhere.

“Hyukkie! Whatcha doin?” he asked, hugging me from behind.

“Can’t you tell by looking?” I answered, completely immersed with my book.

“Why are you reading that again? It soooo boring,” he whined right in front of my ear.

“Hey! Don’t whine right at my ear!” I complained, pushing him off me.

“Alright…but Hyukkie, play with me,” he said, smiling at me like a kid.

“Not on the mood,” I answered plainly.

“Whaaaat~! Come on~ Hyuukkiiiie~” he whined again, but I just ignored him. Seriously, why is it always me he’s bothering?

“I’ll splash you water if you didn’t play with me,” he threatened, going towards the water tap and the hose, holding it targeting me.

“Riiight, as if you can do that,” I scoffed.

“Is that a challenge?” I heard him asked, with a hint of teasing in his voice.

“Whatever. Just shut up, Hae,” I said, not looking up at him.

“You brought this to yourself, Hyukkie~” He chimed, and just as I was about to look at him, water was shot at my face!

“Ah!!!” I shouted, trying to shield my face with my now very wet book. Ooooh~ you are so dead! I ran towards him, tugging the hose, and when he lose grip, I let it face him, making him shriek from the coldness of the water. He’s running circles while I followed him with me weapon and we we’re laughing…we didn’t even noticed that it started raining hard, because we’re already wet anyway, but we had to stop since Teukkie-hyung told us to, and a day after that…here I am, confined in my bed with a fever, and this stupid cause of it all is nursing me.

“Wait here, Hyukkie, Imma cook you some soup,” he informed me and he was about to walk away but I caught his wrist.

“What is it?” He asked.

“You---just stay here. Don’t cook, I might get poisoned,” I told him and he feigned hurt, but chuckled anyway.

“You’re probably right,” he sat back down at the bed, “how are you feeling now?”

“Uhhh…a bit better, I guess, but I’m still a bit cold,” I answered, shivering a bit to prove my point.

“But you’re already using three blankets! Plus! I added mine, so it’s four!” He said.

“But it’s still cold~” I whined, this is one of the rarest times that I whine to him, or to anyone for that matter.

“Tsk, what do you want me to do, then?”

“Share your body heat,” I answered him with closed eyes.

“Seriously?” I heard him, but I stayed silent then he sighed and lied down next to me, wrapping his arms around me and I instantly felt warm so I inched closer to him.

“Hmmm…so warm,” I cooed, I probably didn’t know what I was saying since I was very sick.

“That’s because I’m hot,” Hae said, but I just smacked his chest before feeling drowsy again.

“Get well, Hyukkie.” I heard him whisper and his lips landed on my forehead.

WOOF! WOOF!

What---is that a dog? Then, I felt something wet my face, I suddenly sat up, startling Bada and Choco…Oh, right, and I bought them earlier.

“Sorry if I scared ya,” I patted them two before lying down on my bed. I dreamt of him again, and it was the time when he took care of me.

But this time, he’s the one who’s sick…and I can’t be there to take care of him. Donghae’s never been the sick type of guy, even if you let him play in the rain for the whole day, he’ll never get sick, he’s that healthy, but how come he fell ill now? Why now when I can’t be there for him the he was when I was sick? Well, for sure the other members are taking good care of him; he is the favorite anyway…but…

I SHOULD be…I MUST be the one looking after him, checking his temperature, feeding him soup, placing towel on his forehead, watching him sleep…I should be the one doing that since…since…

Since you love him?

Since I lo---wait…why are you appearing on my head again?! Aish! I should just go back to sleep!

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Two days passed since we got a call that Hae’s sick and according to Hankyung-hyung he’s not yet awake. The doctor said he’s already fine but I can’t seem to sleep from worrying too much. Damn it, Hae! What are you doing to me?!

I woke up a bit late, but who cares? We don’t have schedule, I just have Sukira with Teukie-hyung later. I went out to get some breakfast when I heard my band mates talking on the phone. They’re saying advices or something…I can’t really make up their words since I am still sleepy, but the moment I entered the kitchen and heard who they’re talking to, I froze.

“I just feel blessed that I have you guys, I love you all,” I heard him on the other line. It’s him. That voice…that dreamy voice I’ve been hearing in my head…the voice that keeps on playing in my dreams…it’s really him…

I…I want to talk to him….like really talk to him. On instinct, I sprinted towards Heechul-hyung who was about to say something when I grabbed his phone and ran towards my room, locking it and pressed the phone to my ears.

“Hel--”

“Hae,” I said, not allowing him to finish. I heard him gasped and that made me nervous, what if he hung up? Please don’t. There was silence on the other line, but it was still on, so I just waited, listening to the footsteps. Then, he spoke again.

“Hyukjae,” he said a bit soft, like he’s being cautious. The way he calls my name is slightly…hurting me…he sounds so…scared just by calling me, he doesn’t call me with that cute and annoying matter he usually does.

“Hae,” I started, not knowing what to say next.

“Donghae, Hae, please come back…” I whispered, feeling the tears in my eyes. I don’t know when I got emotional, but this heavy thing on my chest is making my eyes water just by talking to him…Hearing him…I just can’t…I just…

“I miss you, Hae…I really…really miss you,” I said as he didn’t reply to me with my previous statement. And he didn’t reply again, there was just silence, but I can hear his breathing so I continued speaking.

“I---I’m sorry, Hae, for rejecting you…I was shocked, okay? I am really sorry for saying those words to you…I regret it now, you know. Hae, please don’t hate me…I don’t think I can take it if you hate me. Hae, I---I think...I think I like you, Hae,” I let the final bomb blow. There! Finally!

“Hykjae,” I heard him speak, “I miss you too. I—I forgive you already, okay? So I don’t hate you and I really can’t. And I like you too, Hyuk. I like you as a best friend. I finally sorted out my feelings and realized that it is better if we become best friends again,” he answered on the other line.

“Wait, Hae, you don’t under---” I started to clear things but he interjected.

“Hyukjae, I completely understand. I just…I don’t want to run away again, especially not from you. I just want everything to be back the way they used to be, Me being Hae, you being Hyukkie, and us being bestfriends, being EunHae that the fans love. Let’s just let things be like that, forget I ever confessed to you, okay?” he finished with a chuckle while I just listened to every word he said, feeling my heart crack bit by bit. Is he serious?

“Hyukkie,” he said, I smiled a bit, hearing the nickname he made for me, but I stayed still, not knowing what to say.

“I have to say bye now, see you soon, okay? Take care,” then the line went dead.

I slid down to the floor, not caring of anything at all, when Bada and Choco came to me, rubbing their heads on my leg as I carried them and faced them.

“Hey, guys…Hyuk-hyung…is hurt,” I whispered, talking to them the way Hae did when we first saw the two, they started to whimper as if feeling the pain that’s building up in my chest.

“Do you…do you think he doesn’t…like me like that anymore? Did he…you think he already moved on?” I asked, knowing I won’t get a proper answer, but I asked anyway, then I hugged the two lightly, as if it would comfort me.

“Am I too late?”

Kyaaaaaaa!!!! :D sooo long update :D

 Love love love love this chapter! Seriously! I deserve some long comments, whatcha say? J

Hyukkkie~ I feel you… L

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