Chapter 12

Am I Too Late?

 

DONGHAE’s POV

(REPOST)

 

I wasn’t able to get a good night sleep last night because…of that phone call. It has been a while since I’ve been on SuKiRa. And---it’s been a while since I’ve heard his voice. His voice…that voice that doesn’t make my mind rest because I kept on remembering how he sounded on that phone call. Why am I thinking about him too much again? Didn’t I made a promise with myself that I won’t think of him? Promise…the promise I spoke of earlier…promise that I’ll forget whatever it is I am feeling…I will…must fulfill that. My hand flew to my temples and massaged them lightly, I am having a terrible headache, maybe due to lack of sleep.

 

KNOCK KNOCK

 

“Yes, I’m awake,” I sat up from my now empty room, since Mochi went out early to exercise and I am left alone here, thinking.

 

“Ah, good. Go down, hyung, breakfast is ready,” Wookie spoke outside the room and then I heard him walk away. Taking a deep breath, I stood up, pausing a bit as my head swoon, and head towards the kitchen where I found everyone eating their portion of Beijing Fried Rice. Occupying the seat next to Kyu, I grabbed the spoon and started eating when Hankyung-hyung asked me something that made me pause.

 

“Hae, I heard from Chul that Teukie called you from SuKiRa last night?”

 

I nodded a bit, going back to eating and avoiding Kyu and Siwon’s looks.

 

“Oh, and the fans are going crazy, you know,” Hankyung-hyung added.

 

“Why?” I asked, finding the spoon nice to stare at.

 

“That promise you mentioned to Hyukjae right before you hung up. They keep on posting questions on our site and Heechul asked me this morning if I knew something about it---” he was cut-off because Kyu suddenly stood up and dropped his spoon.

 

“I’m done,” he announced.

 

“You haven’t even eaten half of it,” Wookie commented.

 

“I’m already full,” he said and walked out of the kitchen.

 

“What’s with him?” Hankyung-hyung spoke as we got back to eating, “Hae, you know you can talk to me about everything, okay?” he told me and I smiled weakly at him, my head starting to pound in my head again but I fought back the urge of banging my head on the table. They must not know.

 

“Dongdong, are you---alright?” Mochi suddenly

 

I looked up at him and saw a worried look plastered on his face, “Hmm? Yeah,why?” I answered, biting my inside cheeks to prevent myself from groaning. My head is killing me.

 

“Are you sure? You look…pale,” he commented, the other turning their gaze on me but I just chuckled and smiled at them.

 

“Seriously, I’m fine,” then I forced myself to finish my food and went back to my room to prepare for our schedule today. After taking a hot shower, I took some medicine to lessen my headache, wishing that the meds will make my body feel better since I am starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. But no, I must not let this affect our schedule…I will not be a burden. It’s just headache, for sure I will survive. Looking myself at the mirror, I smiled and held up my wrist,

 

“Donghae, you are fine. Fighting.”

 

As I go out of the room, pair of arms was wrapped around my waist.

 

“Hyung.”

 

“Kyuhyun-ah…what’s wrong?” I asked, holding his hands as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked and I just nodded.

 

“About…Hyukjae-hyung…the promise you mentioned…is it---”

 

“Yes. That’s it. The promise of me moving on. What do you think?” I asked him, closing my eyes and smiling at myself. I don’t even know why I’m smiling.

 

“What do I think about what?”

 

“Do you think I’m doing a good job moving on?” I asked him.

 

“Well, I can’t tell that, hyung. You’re the only one who can answer that. But---”

 

“But what?”

 

“I can help you move on, you know,” he whispered in my ear. I gently removed his hand around my waist and turned around to face him.

 

“Kyu, I’m fine. Really,” I said and dragged him out of the house and into our van where the others are waiting.

 

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

 

Today, we’ll be having a photo shoot for our album and poster. We’re dressed in casual attire for our first concept which is a club concept. The first concept took us 3hours to complete everything and we’re moving for our second concept which is a simple one.

 

“Donghae, I think you should take a rest,” Siwon approached me and handed me a bottle of water. We’re taking a rest before changing for our second concept.

 

“What are you talking about? We’re not even halfway done with our schedule,” I answered and rested my back on the chair, wishing for my headache to go away.

 

“I know but you don’t look---” I stood up and cut him off.

 

“Siwonnie, I told you, I am okay, don’t worry too much,” I smiled at him before heading to the bathroom where I took out the medicine I had in my pocket and ate them, after massaging my temples for a bit and splashing water on my face, I went to change my clothes.

 

Why does it seem like the medicine is having the opposite effect on my body? Instead of feeling better, I am starting to feel a bit worse. After changing my clothes, I sat down as I wait for my band mates to go out. Closing my eyes and resting my head on my palm, I told myself to hang on for a bit longer. Our schedule will end and I can take a rest and tomorrow I’ll feel better. Yes, I will be better tomorrow. I was cut out of my trance as I heard someone sitting beside me so I opened my eyes and saw Mochi eyeing me with that worried face again.

 

“Dongdong,” he started.

 

“Mochi, don’t give me that worried face,” I told him, smiling a bit.

 

“But, I know you are not feeling well. Don’t try to deny it,” he said.

 

“Fine. Fine. I do feel a bit unwell but it will pass, Mochi, promise,” I answered, finding it amusing that he can read me easily even if I just knew him not too long ago.

 

“Well, what can I do to make you feel better?” he asked and I motioned him to move his chair in front of me and he complied, then I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder. I heard him chuckle.

 

“What’s so funny?” I asked, smiling.

 

“I just realized you become more clingy when you’re ill,” he answered.

 

“I just want to hug you~” I playfully whined and he patted my head, asking another question.

 

“But why don’t you want them to know you’re sick? For sure they’ll understand if you wanted to take a rest.”

 

Sighing, I said, “Exactly. They always baby me, you know, and I know for myself that sometimes I become a burden because I am stubborn and childish. I just…I want to change and be a responsible person. I don’t want them to worry and don’t want to affect our schedule.”

 

“You’re too kind, Dongdong, that’s why we care for you like that,” he answered and I smiled. I know that. Everybody cares for me but I can’t just receive their care and do nothing in return. If being strong and not being a burden to anyone is a way to show how I care, I will absolutely do it. What can possible go wrong?

 

“Oh there you two are. Come on, we’ll have the photo shoot outside,” Zhoumi appeared and we went out together.

 

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

 

“There. There. Like that! Perfect!” said the photographer as Ryeowookie posed with the yellow flowers. After a few more minutes, I stood up as one of the staff handed me a guitar as a prop. I ignored the throbbing of my head as I posed, and smiled.

 

“Yes, like that…perfect!” the photographer commented. “Now, close your eyes and smile as if you’re thinking about someone you love.”

 

I complied as I strum the guitar in my hands, and slowly I felt my lips curling into a smile as a face flashed in my mind. His gummy smile was showing, and he’s looking at me with those kind eyes he always had, waving at me. I gasped as I realized too late who it was. Hyukjae. I just imagined him as they told me to think of someone I love.

 

“Nice! Very good, Donghae! Now, we’ll---” the photographer’s voice drifted off I felt droplets on my face…followed by another…and another…until it started to pour down. I stayed there at my place. Frozen, I closed my eyes.

 

I haven’t moved on. Not a bit. I---I still love him. I still love him so much it hurts. Tears in my eyes started to pour but no one can notice since I am standing in the rain. Why does it have to be like this? This whole time in China…I thought I am making some progress but I am proven wrong. I haven’t forgotten about him. He still has my heart. He’s still in my heart. The tears are starting to fall down rapidly as the rain drops wipe them away.

 

Hyukjae. Why are you making things so difficult for me? Just as I thought I forgot about you, you appear in my head making my heart clench in pain as I remember that you can’t return back my feelings. Why is it so hard to forget you? Why can’t I hate you? Why do I still love you so much even if I know I’ll be in so much pain?

 

I opened my eyes and looked forward and saw someone walking towards me with an umbrella. I stared but my surroundings started to seem blurry. My head is starting to spin. I tried to focus and see who’s coming towards me when my feel collapsed and everything turned black. 

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Aidenlee_24 #1
Chapter 36: Thanks. I have a great read here. EunHae foreves! 💙
thepoppedcherry
#2
Chapter 23: No matter that this chapter was short, it was so eunhae and I loved it!
thepoppedcherry
#3
Chapter 20: Awwww theyre so sweet ㅠㅠㅠㅠ and their 'kids' ♡ but I'm curious about Kyu and Siwon's plan... Is it to make Hyukjae jealous? Haha (Hoping :D)
thepoppedcherry
#4
Chapter 15: That I love you was soooo sweet ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ But the 'I love you too, buddy' made my heart hurt a bit ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
thepoppedcherry
#5
Chapter 14: No, Hyukjae, you arent too late!!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ fighting!
ecargebeohp_10 #6
Chapter 18: i dont like kyuhae and sihae..:( i only want eunhae.. but hyuk here seems to be stupid.. he knows he have feelings for hae but he's denying.. aish! love is so complicated. fighting hae! :)
deaelv #7
Chapter 37: i love your story and i love kyuhae eunhae sihae and the others
13eliever__ #8
Chapter 36: You have beautiful plot. I cried at some chapters. Omg. This is very awesome. I love hyukjae's conversation with himself. And to be honest, I hate him at first. He made me cried every time hae cried.thank you for created beautiful story.
LongLiving
#9
Chapter 24: This chapter was cute!
yolohyuk
#10
Chapter 36: read this in one go and definitely love it! <3<3 omg at first i was so mad hyukjae called donghae disgusting and when he admitted he loves donghae, i nearly blown up bcs 'you called him disgusting, and now you love him huh?' and when donghae rejects hyukjae, i'm soooo happy! hahaha take that hyukjae! it's what you got after calling donghae with such a name 8DDDD lol but the ending is so great! <3 i love it~~

gotta read the sequel! thanks for sharing <3