A/N: All right, I have decided to leave this site permanently. But, before doing so I thought I would at least post what I had left of Kai's POV. After this, there will be no more. Thanks for all your support and love thoroughout all these years, it's been an amazing experience! 
ps: this has not been beta'd, maybe not even proofread by myself. You have been warned.

It was all new for Jongin. Kyungsoo created a new feeling that left him at odds with himself. He became an uncontrolled mess which tried all the tricks in the book in order to feel Kyungsoo and for Kyungsoo to give him something, anything back. And Kyungsoo did in his own little ways. Sure, Kyungsoo may not be the one to tiptoe to Jongin’s level and he may not grasp the other’s hand first, but he always did wrap his arms lightly around Jongin’s waist and tighten his hold on Jongin’s hand. That was plenty encouragement for Jongin to display further and deeper into affection.

“I think I’m moving soon.”

As it usually did, reality struck hard and harsh.

“There are signs, Jongin.”

“I’ve done this a lot, you know.”

Was that it? Was that all? Inch by agonizing inch, their relationship grew… only for it to end like that?

It seemed so with the way Kyungsoo’s eyes couldn’t meet with his and how his smile weakened with increasing grief. It hurt. It hurt that Kyungsoo was simply giving up and letting them go so easily. At least that was what Jongin thought until he realized just how tightly Kyungsoo clung onto his uniform shirt, as if his hands would never to let go.

There was a spark in Kyungsoo. It wasn’t much but Jongin knew he had to nurse that spark until it created a flame and burned brightly enough to fight back. This time, things could be different. Even if Jongin had to sit outside Kyungsoo’s house in the freezing cold in order to prove that point, he would.

Yes, spending the night against a picket fence wasn’t ideal, nor really planned for. But then again, sacrifices are usually required when wanting to make a statement. Warmth was little to lose if it gave Kyungsoo some confidence to try.

Even through all Jongin’s efforts, Kyungsoo still remained willingly blind and deaf to his pleads. Slowly, dread became frustration. Maybe Kyungsoo wasn’t who Jongin thought he was. Maybe he was just like the rest of them who were unable to do or think for themselves.

Jongin repeated this thought over and over again, hoping it would help with the sting of betrayal. If Kyungsoo wasn’t willing to try, then Jongin didn’t see why he should either. Easy said, not so easily done in practice. Jongin tried his hardest to remain indifferent to the eyes that looked up at him with hope. Once under his box, the front vanished and Jongin hugged his knees to his chest tightly. Eyes squeezed shut with thoughts zooming from all corners of his mind. The resolve Jongin formulated so well broke down bit by agonizing bit all due to solely the appearance of Kyungsoo and those eyes that begged, those eyes that yearned, those eyes that told him to come back.  The last brick of Jongin’s resolve was used in order not to glance Kyungsoo’s way when it was time to head back to class.

At home, the dark works formed one after another. Fingers pressed harder, lines edger than usual, smudges and fingers messily scattering the pages. Jongin found himself only stopping when the wetness in his eyes dropped down onto the paper. It was then he realized how laboured his breathing had become, how tense his shoulders were, how his teeth gritted in frustration. Jongin throw his charcoal pencil at the nearest wall and gripped the paper tightly, ready to rip it to shreds. Instead, Jongin found himself flattening the crumbled paper and lightly tracing the lines he drew with his fingers. He could almost feel it, the softness of Kyungsoo’s cheeks and the plush bounce of those lips.

He shouldn’t be so worked up. He knew, he knew, Kyungsoo was going to move away. Despite that knowledge, Jongin’s ambitious emotions took over and progressed beyond a point where that understanding would be left behind. He thought, maybe, he could change what fate had originally planned for them, that whatever the two of them had was greater than any problem confronted. But no amount of fight Jongin could and would conjure would be enough to take up Kyungsoo’s part of the battle.

A conclusion came to mind. Kyungsoo doesn’t feel the same. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to try because he simply doesn’t care as much as Jongin did.

It’s that conclusion that made him remain tall in front of Kyungsoo the next day when his body was filled with grief.  His words made the accusations that always haunted him about Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo wasn’t who Jongin thought he was, Kyungsoo was just like the others, and Kyungsoo didn’t want to try because he didn’t want to stay. His voice was dropping from accusatory to low whisperings. The bite behind his words faded to something laced with regret.

Jongin didn’t understand why the grip on his shirt tightened and why Kyungsoo begun to shake him. When his desperate stutters commenced, and a warmth slowly heated its way back into Jongin’s heart. Gripping Kyungsoo’s quivering hands, Jongin listened. The details were a little hazy because, heavens, all Jongin could focus on was that Kyungsoo jumped over one of his major insecurities and tried. Kyungsoo tried for them. The results may not have been fruitful, but Jongin couldn’t find himself caring. It was that Kyungsoo made an effort that matter to Jongin and not if his efforts were successful.

Kyungsoo was going to leave. But, at least they will have each other’s hearts to keep them company when the time comes. Until then, Jongin vows to follow through on his promise to make most of their time together worthwhile. During which, Jongin will create a million more reasons why Kyungsoo should stumble back into his arms even after he is gone.

Originally, Jongin thought taking Kyungsoo to an art gallery opening would be a good way to treat him. Jongin knew very well that Kyungsoo wasn’t one to explore his surroundings. It wasn’t until the walk to the gallery that Jongin realised that Kyungsoo chose to seclude him because he didn’t want to become any more attached to a place than necessary. Jongin felt some regret, seeing how Kyungsoo’s eyes sparkled at the various painted works and how his lips eagerly lapped up the exquisite hors d’oeuvres. Above that regret, Jongin felt his selfishness kick in. A part of him wanted to show how wonderful the world could be for Kyungsoo if he was by Jongin’s side. Jongin wanted Kyungsoo to be filled with so much longing, so much goddamn longing that he would have no choice but to find his way back to Jongin.  

Jongin supposes he deserved it. In front of that landscape painting, Kyungsoo’s words hit him. How easily his words were able to make Jongin feel such immense joy and agony simultaneously. Sincerity and pure ignorance made Jongin lean forward and release a burst of emotions onto Kyungsoo. Eyes could stare and mouths could gape, but not one thing could make Jongin feel shamed because Kyungsoo was nothing to be ashamed about. Outside Jongin took them where the stuffiest of the gallery ceased and Kyungsoo’s hands tightly gripped instead feebly shoving.

Jongin thinks that out of the entire exhibit that night, Kyungsoo was the greatest masterpiece to view, taste and touch. Jongin attempted poured all his admiration into his kisses and grasps in order to completely leave Kyungsoo breathless like he had done to Jongin moments before. He thought it was working fairly well until Kyungsoo pushes him away and mentions the one topic that could cut off his high.

Jongin never felt like he more appreciated Kyungsoo for trying than he did that night. He followed through on Jongin’s request to try, yet Jongin couldn’t bear the thought of doing the same for Kyungsoo. He should try for his happiness and for his art, Kyungsoo told him. But, standing at the door of his father’s office, Jongin still can’t gather enough courage to do what Kyungsoo asked of him. Jongin stays awake that night with the thoughts of how his guts were merely for show and how amazing Kyungsoo was for doing what he can’t.

The next morning, Jongin makes a box in his mind, puts all his troubles into it and locks the box away somewhere deep where it can’t bother him. He should focus on Kyungsoo, Jongin convinces himself, his personal issues come second to Kyungsoo.

Distracting himself from the imposing presence of the mentally conceived box, Jongin dedicates most of his free time to drawing inside the white sketchbook Kyungsoo picked out. Jongin thinks of how Kyungsoo will take his drawings and paste them on his box and that whenever Kyungsoo may go, a piece of Jongin will be with him. Jongin swears that as long as Kyungsoo remembers him when he’s gone, he will be okay. He knows he has himself covered without even meaning to. The shape that Kyungsoo’s lips curved into when they smile and the glint that shines within Kyungsoo’s eyes has been drawn so many times that Jongin’s pretty sure his fingers have it ingrained within its muscle memory. 

Kyungsoo tells him the reassuring promise he wants to hear, but Jongin still thinks the image of his likeness and the white sketchbook are not merely there as reminders for Kyungsoo, but as a peace of mind for Jongin as well.

Jongin’s heart raced as he ran with all his might. The pouring rain, chilling wind and rumbles of thunder did little to decrease his desperation.  Smeared footprints in the mud confirmed his feared suspicions as he got closer to the storage room. Fear and anger gripped him so tightly right then.  He only broke away from it with the high cost of witnessing Kyungsoo break for a second time. Kyungsoo’s trembles could be passed off as a reaction from the cold but Jongin knew better. Kyungsoo’s shoulders shook too unevenly and sharply, breathes choked and new droplets formed and fell from his eyes. 

Jongin thought that it wasn’t just the boxes that were destroyed that day. Some part of Kyungsoo died along with them. Tightening the grip Jongin had on Kyungsoo’s hand, he told himself that he may not be able to get that part back, but he’ll use all the tools known to him to create something to replace it. It may not be the original but Jongin refused to idle while Kyungsoo crumbled into himself. Kyungsoo has been alone for far too long and Jongin will prove to him that he made the right decision to let Jongin into his enclosed world.  

“I’ll fix it.”

The small smile he received wasn’t filled with saddened skepticism but with half-hearted optimism. It wasn’t much, but it still made Jongin fluttered with determination, because, no matter how small, Kyungsoo believed in him. Jongin wasn’t about to be like the rest and let disappointment flash across those eyes again.  

Jongin never told Kyungsoo, but he always had hidden desire in mind since the night they stargazed. A small bit of him disliked the idea of two; two boxes and two of them. Having Kyungsoo pressed against him so close within the tight quarters of the box was a feeling he could never forget.

The chance, it presented itself in a terrible way but it was the chance nonetheless.

That was why there were not two, but one; one box to tape up, one box to cover in newspaper clippings, one box to equip with rows of pinwheels and one sole box for the bright sun and stray cat to be peacefully together. Above everything, Jongin wants to truly feel together with Kyungsoo.

Awakened by a familiar warmth, words of outstanding gratitude and kisses that tasted of salt, Jongin had his want finally fulfilled. Feeling like his hard work was more than fully paid off, he wondered how he scored the bonus of Kyungsoo asking to see his home. Despite unusualness of Kyungsoo’s request, Jongin felt his heart accelerate rapidly. He was both scared and thrilled. He didn’t want to expect. Expectations are scary things and Jongin wasn’t sure if his feelings would be stable enough to confidently believe in the ones he was forming.

“Is anyone home?”

Jongin stares at Kyungsoo from his bed. He had been waiting, waiting so patiently and so painfully. Waiting for those expectations to be shot down and waiting for Kyungsoo to just explain, but Kyungsoo didn’t say anything aside from asking for water. Jongin took it upon himself to test the water. He brushed lightly, but purposely against Kyungsoo as he left the room. 

That's all. Thanks again...