❛ s3xyangel

s3xyangel

reviewed by Channicki

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title: 4/5

The title is really simple, yet it really captures the reader's attention. Also, it fit very well with what you have written in your story so far.

f/d: 4/10

There were quite a lot of grammatical errors in both the foreword and description. I noticed that you had a beta reader as well, too... ? Also, you added in three different scenes from the story into your foreword. It kind of throws the reader off guard and personally, it made me already know your whole entire plot.

appearance: 4/5

Your poster was really well made but your background was completely random and didn't fit in with your story genre and mood at all. Also, you changed your font style in the middle of the story... that's not necessarily bad, but it does kind of distract some readers.

plot: 6/15

You only have about one and a half chapters done so far but I have already guessed the whole entire plot and story. Also, there's tons of plots alike yours on the website.

originality: 5/15

Like I mentioned earlier for the plot, there wasn't much originality in your story.

grammar & spelling: 5/20

You didn't have trouble with spelling mistakes but you did have a lot of grammar mistakes. You tended to use commas when they weren't necessary, didn't use them when they were, and used the wrong verb tense occasionally throughout your finished chapters.

flow: 2/10

It's way to fast in my option. You jump around a lot through your story. First you started off with a time skip of 2 years ( which is fine since it is a sequel ), but you also input *3 hours later* rather than filling in details about what Eunhyuk could have been doing. You also throw in *flashbacks*, but is fine, but the flashbacks are so little, I don't find them necessary to put in.

characterization: 3/10

Honestly, I don't see character development at all nor do I see a character's personality. All you do is jump from one POV to another. It doesn't show me who or how the character is at all.

overall enjoyment: 2/10

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total: 35/100

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