“One, two, three, four…five,” you breathe out just as your finger lands on the last multicolored glass bead making up the charm hanging from your phone. Thinking back to that sweet moment, your lips automatically curve into a restrained grin—one that disappeared as soon as it appeared.

You lay your head down on the desk and turn your phone over, brushing it farther away from you. “Nappeun nom (bad guy),” you mumble to yourself and let out a heavy sigh. It's been almost two weeks since you last talked to Suho. After giving you the phone charm, it's like he put his best foot forward to avoid you at all cost. And despite your tireless efforts to talk to him, he's either too busy or nowhere to be found.

"Mi Young-ah!" Hana’s familiar voice calls, snapping you out of your thoughts. She pauses by the door, hands grasping the metal panels as she catches her breath. From the looks of it, she must have run from the opposite end of the campus to deliver whatever urgent news she recently got a whiff of.

After stabilizing herself, she enters the room with hurried steps and stops in front of you, taking one deep breath before saying what’s on her mind. "Have you heard?" she asks cautiously.

You look at her, "Hear what?"

"Suho sunbae…he's…he's…” she starts, hesitating for a second to collect herself. With another breath, she continues, “he’s taking a year off from Daewon.”

"Eh?” you reply as you slowly sit up.

“That’s not all,” she adds, biting her lower lip. She sways her body from side to side as if stalling for time—or rather, as if she doesn’t want the words to escape . “He's leaving for Japan in three days..." she informs you.

Like the quickest brown fox who jumped over the lazy dog, you spring up from your seat, letting the back of your chair clash against the desk behind you. “What?” you exclaim, hoping somehow your cousin misspoke, but one look at her and you know it’s not the case. "Do you know where I can find him?" you ask with urgency.

Hana shakes her head, "No. I'm sorry, I don't."

A moment of silence passes as you think of possible places where Suho can be, all the while trying to calm your nerves.

"Mi Young-ah..." your worried cousin starts.

You flash her a half smile to assure her you're okay and thank her for delivering the news. "I’m sorry Hana, but I have to go," you tell her after realizing just now where he could be.

|| …………. ||

With hastened footsteps and occasional light jogs, you make your way to the rooftop of the medical building. And just as you guessed, you find him standing by the railing, looking down at the entire university—a scenery he will not see again for quite some time.

"Sunbae…" you start, getting his attention momentarily.

Suho looks over his shoulder and meets your worried gaze with an unreadable expression written in his own. Without giving a second response, he turns around and shifts his attention to the clear sky in front of him.

"Suho-ssi!" you call once more, taking a step closer.

Nothing.

He keeps his back towards you, hoping somehow his efforts of pretending you’re non-existent will get you to leave.

"Why didn't you tell me you're leaving? Did you plan on telling me anytime soon? Or does it not matter—even just a little—that I know?" you ask him boldly, not caring about the fact that you might have overstepped the line.

Suho lets out a deep sigh, closing his eyes to control his emotion before turning around to face you. "Mi Young-ssi…" he calls, with that same expression still painted on his face—an expression you never thought he could make.

While a mixture of frustration and sadness circulate throughout your body, you keep your eyes pinned on him and continue, "I know we've only known each other for a short period...but...regardless...how...how can you decide to leave all of a sudden?"

"That's right," he replies coldly, giving you an answer that takes you by surprise, "We haven't known each other for that long...therefore, I'm not obligated to tell you everything—or anything for that matter. I don't need someone, especially you, to meddle into my private life."

With those words, you find your thoughts silenced and your mind numb. All at once, without so much as an explanation, the Suho you know—or thought you knew—is gone.

And in this moment of stillness, a cold wind blows, taking away all the warmth left in your body.

Unable to keep up the act, Suho lets out another sigh and removes his jacket. "I can't be the one to look after you anymore," he states, wrapping the jacket around your shoulders. As much as he wanted to take you in his arms, he steps back and looks at you with dismal eyes. "So learn to take care of yourself," he finishes and walks away.

"You're right," you respond just loud enough to freeze his feet to the ground. With light steps, you walk up to him, removing his jacket as you do so. "I should learn to take care of myself," you begin softly as you hand him back the piece of clothing, “and stop falling for guys like you so easily."

|| …………. ||

Like a half-filled balloon, you went through the rest of day just floating from one class to another, unsure if you even picked up any of the topics your professors discussed. You lacked the energy, the focus, and enthusiasm all because of the events from this morning. 

After listening to an hour long drabble about annuities and perpetuities, you meet Hana, LJoe, Chunji, and Changjo at the southern gate.

As you make your way to the four of them, Hana can already tell from the blank look in your eyes that something went wrong with the conversation you had with Suho.

"Well that’s something new," Chunji starts in a teasing manner after noticing your solo arrival, "Mi Young's here, but where's Mr. Perfect?" 

“Oppa!” Hana yells in a whisper. She glares at the childish Chunji and elbows his ribcage as she passes by him to get to you. "Mi Young-ah, you okay?" she asks worriedly, ignoring the complaints Shinil’s third in command is throwing at her in the background.

You respond with a slight nod followed by a forced smile. "I’m fine," you answer, despite once again hearing Suho's words in the back of your mind. Unconsciously, you let out a deep sigh, catching LJoe’s attention—the worst person to realize something’s not right.

After watching quietly for some time, he directs his eyes to you then