This is the first time that I let Luhan do something without me. Now that he is gone, I realize that we are always together, always within walking distance, and always within reach.

Now that he is gone, I realize how much I miss him.

It’s not a big difference. I know that he’ll return, but the thing I am focusing on is the fact that he isn’t here. He isn’t here, and it’s my fault.

Why do I miss him? I don’t have the right to miss him. Not after all those times when I treated him inconsiderately. In my eyes, he was trash. He wasn’t worthy of being respected or acknowledged. He was the same species as a disreputable Exon who left an indelible scar on my heart. I grouped him with the rest and assumed the worst of him; I didn’t leave any room for compassion. Yet the more I spent time with him, the more my opinion of his ilk wavered. Yes, he is an Exon. But he is kind, he is patient, and he is everything that I have never strived to be. His restless eye endears him to me. His innocent expressions and unpretentious words are refreshingly sweet.

I like him.

Maybe more than I should.

I disillusion myself. I thought I fully understood my beliefs. But as the days pass, the importance of my father’s death is overcome by the constant presence of Luhan.

I still care about what happened to my dad. That is not going to change. I still believe that the Institute had something to do with his death. But he is no longer the primary concern in my life. Neither are my studies. These days, I find myself drawing closer to an individual who I never meant to admire.

I hate him, I used to tell myself. Or at least I think I do. It's as if he has some pull over me that I can't deny, and I can do nothing but stand there as he tears down my walls. Gently and deliberately, he is creeping into my conscience. He's not real, I try to convince myself. So why does my heart insist otherwise?

It’s because he makes me feel things that no human has ever made me feel.

The doorbell rings. I collect my thoughts and move toward the door. When I open it, I see Hara standing on the front step with a large grin on her face. She waves at me. “Hello!”

I don’t know why she is here, but since I don’t intend to let my guard down, I say, “Do you need something?”

“Company,” she replies. “Both of our Exons are on a little reconnaissance.”

“Wait, Luhan went with your Exon?”

“He personally came to my house,” she proudly says, “and asked for Sehun’s help. They get along well, don’t you think?”

“A lot better than we do,” I say, starting to close the door.

“Wait, Emer. I need to talk to you.” She sticks her hand between the door and the frame and looks at me with beseeching eyes. “I need to tell you something.”

“You can’t tell me from there?”

“You’re going to let a half human stand out here all day?” She jokes. “Please let me inside. This isn’t something we should even be discussing.”

After some hesitation, I pull the door wider. She slips inside, and I firmly shut the door behind her as she makes her way toward the kitchen. She sits down on one of the chairs at the table, and I sit across from her.

“So?” I ask her. “What do you have to say?”

“You’re softer,” she comments shyly.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re different,” she points out. “You’re not the only one changing.”

I stare at her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve noticed, haven’t you?” She smiles coyly. “Isn’t he different from what he was before?”

“People change.”

“So he’s a person now?”

“It’s a figure of speech,” I reason. “Hara, please just hurry up and sa