Still, I Love You

The Bittersweet Deal
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The door to Zico’s apartment opened.

Kyung shot up, “Yo! What took you so long?! Why didn’t you answer my calls- holy …” He gawked at Jungah who was asleep in Zico’s arms. His gaze drifted back to Zico’s calm expression. “W-what happened to her?”

“Not now. Later.” Zico whispered. Like a bride who could never be his, he gently carried Jungah’s sleeping figure into his bedroom.

Kyung scrambled inside. He quickly drew back the blankets so that Zico could lay her down.

Very carefully, Zico set her down on the bed. He took the blankets and tucked her in so that she was safe and warm. Kyung saw the tear stains on Jungah’s cheeks. “What happened? Did she cry?” He whispered.

Zico put a finger to his lips and urged Kyung to go away.

Kyung glanced at Jungah one last time before leaving the room.

Zico checked on Jungah once more then quietly snuck out of his bedroom. He shut the door behind him and headed into the living room.

Kyung spoke at his normal volume. “Is something wrong with Jungah? Why did she cry?”

“Nothing’s wrong. She’s just tired.” Zico lightly shrugged.

Kyung suspiciously eyed him. *Yeah, right. I can see right through you. Something did happen to Jungah. Either it’s something so secretive that you don’t want to tell me, or you don’t know what happened to her yourself.*

“You should go. It’s getting late.” Zico motioned to the door.

Kyung gawked at him, “You’re just going to let Jungah spend the night here?”

“She needs someone by her side tonight.” Zico explained.

“But…you never let her stay at your place…before.” Kyung whispered in awe.

Zico uncomfortably glanced back at the door as he grasped the back of his neck. He had a feeling things were about to change from now on. Zico walked Kyung out then came back into his apartment.

Everything was so quiet now. Yet, the house felt full and warm.

Just one other person in his home made a difference to the atmosphere.

Zico locked the front door and headed towards his bedroom. Quietly and carefully, he opened the door and peeked inside. Jungah was fast asleep. It looked like her tears had sedated her into a mind-numbing dream. Zico walked towards her. He stood over her and watched her breathe. *What on earth happened to you, Han Jungah? Never have I seen you so depressed. If only you could tell me…* He sighed in chagrin.

Suddenly, Jungah’s phone rang from her shorts. She stirred in her sleep. Swiftly, he plucked the phone out from her pocket and silenced it.

Zico checked the id. It was noneother than Kris.

*To answer or not to answer…*

Before he could decide, the phone stopped ringing.

Zico scrolled down Jungah’s call history. Every single missed call was from Kris. *She’s avoiding him.*

The phone began to ring again. Zico glanced at Jungah. He knew he shouldn’t barge into her business, but he didn’t want to keep Kris waiting either.

Finally, Zico accepted the call, and put the phone to his ear.

“Jungah!” Kris’s voice flooded with relief that she had finally picked up. “I’ve been waiting the entire day. Can we please talk? I can come to your house right now, if you want.”

After a brief pause, Zico spoke, “Jungah isn’t at home right now.”

Kris stiffened. Who was answering his girlfriend’s phone? He thought back to the voice, and his eyes rounded. *No way….it can’t be…* “Z- Zico?” Kris whispered dreadfully.

“Yes, it’s me.” Zico replied.

Kris’s face fell. His face turned ashen, and a wave of disappointment immediately washed over him. “W-where’s Jungah?!” He hadn’t meant to sound demanding and harsh, but he couldn’t help but be on defense.

Zico glanced at Jungah on his bed, “She’s asleep at my house.”

“Your house?” Kris asked in disbelief. He couldn’t believe she was sleeping at Zico’s house when the night before she had slept at his.

“Look, Jungah isn’t in the best condition to talk right now. Whatever you have to say to her, you should tell her in the morning when she feels better.” Zico advised.

Kris immediately grew concerned, “When she feels better? Is she sick right now?”

“She’s not sick…” Zico mulled over the right words to say. *She’s broken.* “She’ll be better. I know Jungah. She’ll be back on her feet in no time.”

Kris’s stomach sank at his words.

“So don’t worry about Jungah. I’ll take good care of her. Goodbye, Wu Fan.” Zico hung up.

Slowly, in skepticism, Kris lowered the phone as he stared off vacantly into space. As reality sank in, he squeezed the phone tighter. His fist constricted in rage, confusion, and anguish. *Zico is with her right now. Zico is with her right now. Zico and Jungah are together right now. What if Jungah is choosing him? What if she wants to go back to him? What if the one she is in love with him and not me?*

Kris wanted to run over to Zico’s house right now, and steal Jungah away from him. However, his pride and Jungah’s free will wouldn’t allow him do that.

“ARGH!” Kris yelled in rage and threw his phone into the wall as hard as he could. The phone had left a small, but visible dent in the wall, and there were huge, ugly cracks across the screen of his phone.

Kris sank onto his knees and let out a heartbreaking sob as he clutched onto his chest. *Did last night mean nothing to you? It meant everything to me. I showed you my love. How could you be with him without even contacting me at all? Can’t you see I’m going crazy because of you?*


Zico shifted his gaze back to Jungah. His eyes softened. *I’m sorry, Jungah. I don’t know if I helped you or made things worse by taking that call. Just know that my intentions are always to do the best for you.* He placed her phone on the nightstand and turned to go.

At that moment, Jungah whimpered.

Zico spun around, thinking that she had woken up.

However, her eyes were still closed.

Jungah whispered incoherently as she shifted her head side to side. Beads of sweat rained from her forehead. Her hand subconsciously reached out while she kept whimpering in despair. Zico reached out and grasped her hand. Jungah clasped onto his hand and wouldn’t let go. “Please don’t go…” Jungah whispered as her tears joined her sweat. “Please…don’t…go…”

Zico’s heart reached out for her. He sank onto the bed next to her and lay down on his side with his elbow propping him up. His free arm slipped underneath her neck to support her head, and his right hand was still in Jungah’s hand.

“Don’t go.” Jungah shivered in her dreams.

“I won’t, Jungah. No matter what, I will never leave you.” Zico murmured as he ran his thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

Then Jungah turned her head towards him and whispered the name of the man in her dreams.


Zico became rigid in surprise. His eyes widened, and he stared at her. *Whose name did she just speak?*

“Kris.” Jungah whispered again. Another hot tear slipped down from the corner of her eye, “Don’t leave me…Kris…”

Zico’s eyes softened, and his heart broke for her. *So he was the one on your mind. I knew you were in love with him, Han Jungah. It’s obvious that you’ve fallen head over heels for this guy. He must be an amazing person if someone incredible like you gave your heart to him.* He reached out and cupped her face tenderly.

Gently, Zico wiped the stray tear away. His eyes fondly drifted over her face, and his heart fluttered. *And yet, even if I know fully well you belong to Wu Fan now, I can’t stop my feelings for you. I will always be in love with you. Yet, the man you’re in love with doesn’t have to worry about competition since I’m not fighting for you. I may be a coward in everyone’s eyes, but I’m just a foolish man in love. Even if I can’t have you, I can always watch over you. Mother will at least let me stay by your side like this, right?*

Zico lowered his head and tenderly kissed her forehead as he cradled her gently.


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Comments (17816)

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14 streak #1
I cant wait to start on this!
Chapter 77: The angst is real omg ??? I may have gotten my heart broken but I love this so much.
Chapter 75: I regret asking for her to die like I didn't mean for her to die this way ???
Hauntzer #4
Chapter 77: i had to beat myself up so I wouldn't cry endlessly over this bc I don't wanna wake up w swollen eyes tmr omg...
Hauntzer #5
Chapter 49: My heart hurts ;3;
[deactivated] #6
Chapter 77: Oh my God, after reading this straight for a whole day, my heart was wrecked at this ending. It brought pain and anger, on the second thought it was mixed emotions. Good Job!
Chapter 77: Oh my god, this story really make cry like mess. Damn!
Do_not_forget_this #8
Chapter 77: Oh god this is one of the two books that can make me sob like this. How could you do this to me oh my god their are tears coming down and like I'm literally about to make a small pond on my bed because of all the tears ???
Chapter 77: How did you just do this to me
nice ♡