Luhan was missing Sehun so bad. It was his fault, he knew, but that doesn't make missing him any easier. When he's off to school, he finds himself craning his neck down Sehun's road just to catch a glimpse of his friend. When going home, his eyes will scan the school grounds hoping to see a thatch of light brown hair atop flawless skin. He's gonna lose his mind one of these days.

Just yesterday when he passed by the tea shop they frequented, he had a strong urge to enter, which he did. He ordered 2 medium sized-chocolate-flavored bubble teas without knowing how he can possibly drink all of it by himself. As he sat down, he placed one in front of him and the other one at the other side of the table. Luhan realized how empty the table was without Sehun's constant chatter. "This is crazy." Luhan said to himself while he stood up and left, his drink barely sipped.

Today he walked to their hangout by the park swings. As he was enjoying the feel of the wind in his face, he remembered the first time he met Sehun after he rejected him the night before. He didn't expect to see him walking there. And from the look in Sehun's face he didn't expect to see Luhan either. It was awkward. It was tense. It was a scene straight from a movie he'll never want to watch.

But he tried to talk to Sehun, to explain why he said what he did, to explain again why they can't be together and get in an apology in between. He knew he hurt Sehun badly with his harsh words. But how can he possibly reason with him when he didn't even stay to listen? Sehun just mumbled something and left him there.

And truth be told Luhan would've made a mess of his explanation anyway.

He winced as he recalled every hurtful word he said. And as if that wasn't enough, he also recalled how Kyungsoo raised his eyebrow at him as they passed each other in the school corridors two days after. He started to say hi but he saw Kyungsoo's stiff expression. The smaller guy already went by him when he heard Kyungsoo say, "So much for grand gestures, he should've chosen someone who'll appreciate it."

Luhan turned to look at Kyungsoo, but he was already gone. Luhan sighed. He just realized he not only hurt Sehun but he also hurt their friends, too.

Luhan heard someone approach him. He looked and saw Jongin sit on the swing beside his. Jongin shot him a sideway glance before pushing himself backward to get the swing started. "I knew I'd find you here. Fine day, huh?"

Luhan was glad his friend was talking to him. "Yeah. I didn't expect to see you. Don't you have practice?"

"Well, I was supposed to have one but my dancing partner can't lift his off the practice room. Something about wallowing and being sorry for himself. That sorta stuff." Jongin said offhandedly.

Luhan felt as if a deadweight pulled his heart further down the hole he dug for himself. "Is he... Is Sehunnie okay?"

"Well, he's not eating well lately so he kinda lost weight. He's always staring off to god knows where and keeps on blabbering about heartache and sorrow. Pretty intense." Jongin said with a snort.

"I see." Luhan whispered, drowning in guilt.

"But enough about that puppy. I actually came here to ask for advice." Jongin started. "You see, I'm having a problem with a certain person. I need you to answer me honestly."

"Do I know the person?"

"Uh... Let's not be too honest then." Jongin said with a little laugh but he continued. "There's this guy I know... He's temperamental but he's also sweet in his own way. He takes care of me even as he scolds me for injuring myself. Most of the time he thinks I'm an idiot but he still puts up with me."

"From what you told me it's obvious that he cares about you." Luhan answered.

"Actually, I know he cares. But what I want to know is if I love him or if I just care for him. I'm so new at this. Are there certain guidelines? Are there rules?" Jongin asked seriously.

"There are no rules; I guess you just have to trust what you feel." Luhan shrugged.

"I'm still young. And this person thinks I'm immature. Can I really just trust my feelings?"

Luhan fell quiet.Why is this so familiar?

"Is it really love when all you could think about is spending time with that person? Is it love when a smile from him makes everything fade away? Is it... love when you look in each other's eyes and there's a sudden urge to look away because if you won't you'll probably drown in happiness?" Jongin eyes rounded. He looked as if he had been struck by lightning.

"I think you just realized the answer." Luhan said.

"Shoot... I didn't expect that." Jongin shook his head. "But do you believe it? Do you really think so? Even if I'm young, I'm stupid and I'm... me?"

"If he loves you, I think it won't matter to him anyway." Luhan answered.

"But it mattered to you, right? Was that why you didn't accept Sehunnie?"

"I...”Luhan couldn't think of anything to say.

"He really loves you, you know. Even if he's young, and stupid and he's... him." Jongin said with a smile and a wink.

Jongin stood and Luhan looked at up at him. Kyungsoo was lucky to have Jongin.

Jongin took a few steps away when Luhan called out to him.

"Actually, it mattered to me because I... I love him for it."

"That’s actually what I wanted to hear!" Jongin waved before walking away.

And it's true, isn't it? It mattered that Sehun was younger, that he was probably immature and that he may change his mind anytime. But everthing mattered to Luhan because he loves Sehun. So much that he was so afraid of the thought that his friend wouldn't really love him back. He made himself believe that it's better to stay friends than to risk his heart. Cause how will he ever recover if Sehun leaves him?

But isn't what love is about? Risking everything and giving yourself fully to the one you love? Didn't Sehun do just that?

He thought he was the one older and wiser between them. But he guessed he was wrong. How could he have been so stupid?

Now all his fears may come true. What if Sehun already gave up on him and found someone new? Luhan closed his eyes and prayed that he wasn't too late.