abnegation n.

LuHan watches SeHun move gracefully across the room, the complete converse of the way he walked awkwardly through anywhere that was not the dance floor. He moves with grace LuHan did not think possible. He moves like the air itself, free-flowing, without bounds or bonds holding him down. He twists his body with ease, and his head snaps to the right, his eyes meet LuHan's and LuHan is frozen in his spot, can't seem to take his eyes away from the strange fire in SeHun's. LuHan forgets about everything except the fluid motions of SeHun's body and the eyes locked onto his. He notices the fluidity, the flow, the flux of his movements, but he does not notice where it is headed, where it is directed, until SeHun is right in front of him, and he's looking up, right into the tall boy’s eyes. The music stops. Everything stops, except for their equally heavy breathing, their eyes searching the other's. 

LuHan breathes out a, "You were great. You should go shower so we can leave," and the moment is broken.

banal adj. / baleful adj.

It's dangerous, SeHun decides, the way this has become normal for them. 

They are avoiding it, again, skirting around what needs to be discussed, carefully choosing their words to fit the puzzle, when all they really want to do is stomp on the puzzle, and throw it in the air, and stomp on it some more when it lands on the ground. 

"Then he said this thing and I was thinking--"

LuHan continues on with the normal banter.

It's dangerous, SeHun decides, how tempted he is to kiss LuHan.

It's dangerous, SeHun decides, how the temptation has become a normal thing for him.

confluence n.

This was unplanned. Neither had guessed that anything similar would happen. 

It was a normal day. They had practice, practice ended, they went out, ate lunch, got some bubble tea on the way back to quench SeHun's thirst, and they arrived back at the practice room earlier than everyone else. They sat at their corner, their back against the mirrored-wall, staring into their reflections across the room. 

Neither is sure who reached out first; maybe it was SeHun, maybe it was LuHan. Either way, their hands end up intertwined without a word spoken. They stare into the eyes of the other's reflection, a question asked silently, acceptance given without a word.

SeHun leans over, presses his lips experimentally against LuHan's, and something sparks in LuHan, and his drink falls forgotten to the side, smashes against the mirror, but LuHan doesn't care, his hands are wrapped around SeHun's neck, and he's kissing him like the world is about to end (and LuHan thinks that it will unless he doesn't kiss him harder) and SeHun's reciprocating each tiny motion, and never has LuHan felt more connected to anyone, never has he felt or been more at one with anyone than he did with SeHun in that moment.

denouement n.

"I love you."

efflorescence n.

It's a plethora of kisses, and hugs, and those three words they cannot seem to repeat enough times. 

It is a glut of blushes, shy glances, and bold words.

It is an abundance of feelings, of happiness, of the feeling of finally.

feisty adj.

"Please step away from him," LuHan says, voice calm, yet his eyes, his eyes were a storm.

The poor girl looks terrified. She should be, both SeHun and LuHan think. 

"I was just--"

"You were just telling him about your feelings, yes," LuHan assents. "You were going to ask him to go out with you, despite the fact that it's pretty common knowledge around here that he's taken."

"But--"

"Oh, so just because his b--girlfriend is apparently studying abroad, it's fine for you to make a move, really? That's pretty pathetic. You should be ashamed of yourself."

"LuHan--" SeHun starts, slightly exasperatedly, although the amusement is evident in his eyes.

"No," LuHan snaps. "She's being incredibly disrespectful to you and your partner, and really, it's disgusting. I'm only doing this for your girlfriend, who is a lot better than this ."

Later that night, when the girl is gone, when everyone else is gone, and all that remains is SeHun, and LuHan, and heatheatheat, SeHun holds on to LuHan, his body pressing warm against the elder's back, whispering slowly, huskily into his ear: "For my girlfriend... Or, as my girlfriend?"

"Shut up," LuHan says, though the effect of it is weakened by the moan that escapes him right after. "I'm not a girl."

"Don't I know it," SeHun whispers, accompanied with a sharp of his hips, and LuHan can hold himself up no longer, and the pillow under his cheek is absorbing his moans, but SeHun is still there, still pressing him even harder into the sheets, whispering how LuHan's fire is all he needs in life.

gemuetlich adj.

It's strange, when they meet Jongin, when Jongin catapults himself into their lives with complete disregard for how they might feel about it. It's even stranger when they begin to accept him into their duo (now trio), when it becomes comfortable, natural even, how he accompanies them in their daily routine.

"So," Jongin begins, chewing loudly on his meal, "what's it like ing each other?"

LuHan chokes. SeHun narrows his eyes.

"I mean, come on, it's pretty ing obvious from the way you look each other in the eyes, and you really think I don't see your hand resting against SeHun's thigh, LuHan?"

LuHan blushes and sputters.

"Yeah, I'm ing him, so you're not going to make a move, right?" SeHun challenges boldly.

"Of course, not," Jongin declares, almost indignant. "LuHan's pretty and everything, but I've got someone else on hold." Jongin smirks.

The conversation steers back into clear waters, and LuHan is still slightly shocked that it, that he was so obvious, but now he can reach over and brush the bangs off of SeHun's face without a problem, and everything is natural, and comfortable, and problem-free.

hagiolatry n.

SeHun will never be able to get over LuHan's beauty, no matter how long they spend together. He will never be able to let go of the look in LuHan's eyes when he dances to his own beat, or the look in his eyes when he sings a particularly emotional ballad, meeting SeHun's from across the room. His voice, SeHun decides, is even greater than that of an angel's, and sounds sweeter than any creature on the earth. Sometimes, SeHun would pull LuHan close into his chest, and ask him quietly, "Sing. For me. Please?" 

LuHan would laugh (and that was another heavenly sound), he'd call SeHun a child, but would sing anyway, his voice echoing softly in the dark room, lit up only by the light flooding in through the curtains, and from SeHun's point of view, the light emitted by LuHan's radiance.

"He's got you whipped," Jongin says one day as SeHun watches LuHan dance more elegantly than anyone SeHun has ever seen.

SeHun can only nod.

immaculate adj.

One day, after a long night with LuHan, SeHun notices that his movements seem forced, and each step seems pained.

Their dance instructor notices this as well and LuHan receives a scolding.

SeHun feels guilty as he realizes that it is his fault, LuHan is in trouble because of him, and he has tainted something that should've remained clean.

jejune adj.

"I don't think... I think we should stay apart for a while." 

That was what SeHun said three days ago, and LuHan was at wits end trying to figure out what he could've done. He had thought that they were problem-free. Apparently not, LuHan thinks now.

SeHun has been avoiding him, ignoring his calls, sitting with Jongin as far away from LuHan as possible. LuHan sat down with some other friends he knew, but he could barely mask his inner-turmoil.

He plots with Joonmyun and Kyungsoo.

Later that day, everyone is gone, and LuHan has locked himself in a closet with SeHun. SeHun refuses to meet his eyes.

"What did I do?" LuHan asks, his voice cracking.

"You didn't do anything," SeHun says, voice calm, still not meeting LuHan's eyes.

"If I didn't do anything, then why aren't you talking to me?" LuHan demands. Tears begin to stream down his face. "I thought we were fine, I didn't know that something was up, and I still don't know, and you have to tell me these things, otherwise I'll always be guessing."

SeHun looks up at LuHan's tone, and holds him against his chest, rubs slow circles into the low-center of LuHan's back. It is silent for a while, save for LuHan's sobs.

"I just... I feel like I ruined you," SeHun finally chokes out. "I feel like you're this pure creature that deserves all the goodness in the world, and I feel like I'm just not. I'm just... not."

LuHan cries even harder, pounds his fist against SeHun's skinny chest, and half-screams, "Pure? Are you ing kidding me? What planet have you been living on that would consider me pure when I ing try to seduce you on a daily basis, when I throw myself at you at every opportunity, regardless of whether or not it's a safe one? Really? I'm not some ing saint, or an angel, you stupid childish ."

LuHan continues to cry, continues to hit SeHun, continues to call him a hundred-and-one colorful synonyms for "stupid idiotic childish little ."

koan n.

LuHan proves his impurity to SeHun in that closet, makes him contemplate his stupidity with questions, challenged by his body.

laconic adj.

LuHan doesn't need SeHun's (stupid) words to know that he's sorry. He only needs his body, hard against his, the hard angles and soft curves of his figure, the strength in him holding up the weakness in LuHan.

He needs no words, but SeHun offers him three, whispered into LuHan's burning skin.

"I love you."

machismo adj.

"You know," Jongin begins (and usually the end is never good), "sometimes I think LuHan wears the pants in your relationship."

SeHun sputters indignantly, and LuHan raises his arms in triumph.

"I've been waiting years for someone to say that," LuHan declares.

That night, when SeHun ties his wrist to the headboard of his bed, blindfolds him, and declares loudly with his hands on the waistband of LuHan's pants, pulling them off at a tantalizing speed, "Who wears the pants now?"

narcohypnia n.

When they wake up in the morning, it's usually to the scent of and sweat and sun, a strange combination, but comforting to them all the same. In these short moments, the only thing they can register in their mind is the feeling of here and now and together. In these moments, there is a numbness to anything else but each other.

In these moments, where sleep tries to drag them back down into the world of slumber, the only thing that keeps SeHun tethered to the world of awake is LuHan and vice versa.

osculate v.

SeHun kisses like he was born to do it, like the reason he is on this earth in the first place is to press his lips against LuHan's and make LuHan lose every bit of sanity left.

SeHun kisses languidly in the morning, sleep still evident in his motions, yet, his kiss is soft, and filled with emotion, almost as if thanking LuHan for being here, for staying with him through the night.

SeHun kisses lightly in the afternoon, when it is possible that someone will come across them, when they have other lives to be living. He refuses to kiss LuHan any deeper than light pecks, unsure of whether or not he'd be able to hold back otherwise. He kisses LuHan almost as if in a promise for what is to come when the sun sets, when they people disappear.

SeHun kisses hungrily at night, when there are no other people, and he kisses as if there will be no tomorrow, and LuHan feels that there won't. He his lips purposefully, lets it dart out to taste LuHan's own, forces his tongue right through into LuHan's lips, curling around LuHan's tongue, inviting it into a fiery dance, a battle that LuHan never wins. 

LuHan can only moan, beg for more, and hope that SeHun's lips never leave his.

panacea n.

SeHun is sick, and LuHan is unhappy. He skips pratice to take care of SeHun, skips school to make sure SeHun is eating properly, skips meals to make sure SeHun gets his rest.

One night, SeHun's fever reaches all new heights, and LuHan is so worried, tears threaten to fall, but he chastises himself, tells himself to be strong for SeHun, to nurse him back to health.

SeHun is up and dancing again in no time.

"I think it was his love that cured me, to be honest," SeHun declares to Jongin when asked about how little time it took for him to recover.

LuHan blushes.

quiddity n.

Jongin is amazed by SeHun and LuHan's relationship. He is amazed at how one completes the other, and how when they are apart, it is as if there's an integral part missing from the very essence of the individual. It sometimes seems as though they were meant to be together, as if their souls were meant to converge. 

When LuHan reaches over and taps SeHun lightly on the shoulder, it's as if SeHun had known all along that he would come, at least 5 milliseconds before LuHan had even decided it himself.

When SeHun is finished with a particularly difficult number, LuHan is there with his favorite drink in hand, ready to congratulate him, as if he had known all along that SeHun would get outstanding remarks.

When LuHan reaches over to grab SeHun's hand, SeHun is already meeting him half-way.

Jongin wonders when he'll find that one being that completes his own essence.

raison d'être n.

There are some days when SeHun feels he isn't worth anything, like he doesn't deserve what he's been getting, like everything should just stop.

LuHan knows when to read the signs, somehow, and learns how to keep SeHun grounded, knows how to remind him that, hey. I'm here for you, don't you ing leave me, or I will chop your balls off.

SeHun decides nothing else matters except for LuHan.

sadism n.

Sometimes, though, SeHun's thoughts become too much for him, and he feels insecure, he does not know his place with LuHan, whether or not he has a place, and he knows all his worries are stupid, childish, and pointless, yet he continues to worry.

These are the times when he hurts LuHan, just to know it can be done, just to know that, yes, he can have that effect on the elder boy, can cause pain to the epitome of perfection.

LuHan allows him to, because he knows that's what SeHun needs sometimes.

(Although, he returns the pain tenfold via physical violence when SeHun finally snaps out of his bouts of stupidity.)

temerity n.

SeHun decides to do something big for LuHan, decides that he deserves it, for being able to stick with SeHun for that long.

One day, LuHan wakes up to a room, completely covered in post-its, each one with a different message for him.

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.

All the post-its in the world wouldn't be enough for me to express my love for you.

By the time LuHan finishes reading the ones stuck to the small table beside his bed, he can't repress the bright smile plastered on his face.

Another day, LuHan receives a variety of notes, each with strange words printed out on them.

"Mahal kita."

"Ich liebe Dich."

"Cinta kamu."

"Te amo."

"Je t'aime."

"愛してるよ."

"我愛你."

"사랑해."

"I love you."

Later, Sehun whispers to him, "All the languages in the world wouldn't be enough for me to tell you I love you."

On another day, SeHun takes him to Han River, and screams, as loudly as humanely possible, "LUHAN IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE."

SeHun wants everyone to know it.

ubiquitous adj.

SeHun always seems to be there when LuHan is on the verge of a breakdown. 

Whenever LuHan suddenly misses home, SeHun suddenly appears, wraps an arm around his waist, and presses a light kiss against his jaw, and Luhan suddenly decides that he is home.

Whenever LuHan feels like everything is too much for him, SeHun suddenly appears, wraps his arms around LuHan's body, pulls him close, and tells him, it's okay, let it out, I'm always here for you.

On the rare occasion that he does not appear, though, he is still there, always there, smack-dab in the middle of LuHan's mind, reminding him that he is always there, that nothing else matters except for the two of them.

vaticination n.

"I like to think we'll be together forever," LuHan declares matter-of-factly.

"I like to think you're right," SeHun agrees, eyes crinkling at the sides from the size of his smile.

wunderkind n.

To this day, SeHun is still shocked at how amazingly perfect LuHan is in every possible aspect.

He is shocked at how a prodigy, quintessential golden boy, could possibly love him.

LuHan feels the same about him.

They both decide that the other is an idiot, and proceed to kiss the life out of the other.

xenophobia n.

SeHun used to be afraid of the unknown, of the strange thing, of the foreign things. LuHan was exactly that, at first, yet he developed into the only normal, familiar thing in SeHun's life.

SeHun says as much to LuHan, and LuHan tells him, "I'm still foreign, though."

SeHun buries his face in his palm and says, "That's not what I meant by foreign."

you pro.

... are all I need, they decide unknowingly simultaneously.

zeitgeist n.

The time they have spent, the life they have lived, was defined in moments, seconds, which in turn were defined by the other. 

LuHan's life was defined by moments with SeHun.

SeHun's moments were defined by life with LuHan.

The best part, though, was how indefinite time was, how it never seemed to end.