Chapter 37
Seducing Nerdy Chanyeol !______________________________
Are you sure you don't want to come?"
The question was left open, waiting for an negative and yet, expected answer. You sighed, holding the phone close to your ear, already picturing the disappointed pout on Mina's face as soon as you'd say no. She sounded too excited, as if her forced laughters and blatant attempt at sounding happy would somehow influenced you. But despite the disappointment, the answer would still be no.
"It's going to be so much fun. You have to come!" She insisted. "Vicky and I will be there, Baekhyun as well and some of his friends too. Remember Kris and Xiumin?"
You vaguely hummed, not really paying attention. You just didn't feel like going out. Not today. Or any other day actually. Your bed was too comfortable for that and the outside world too cruel.
"But you don't have to stay the whole night if it's too difficult for you." Mina carefully said, sensing your reluctance. "Just stay a couple hours and then go home. Baekhyun's friend has a car, he can drive you home."
"...I don't know." You mumbled, not feeling it. "Don't think I'm not in the mood. But thanks for the invitation."
A short silence followed. Laying on your bed, you stared at the white celling, not expecting Mina to say anything. This was a déjà-vu. Since Chanyeol and you had broke up, she was desperately trying to change you mind by inviting to the cinema, to her place, to parties of people you didn't know and didn't want to know. It was very considerate of her given the fact that the reconciliation was still fresh and the wound not completely healed. She was trying really hard to make your friendship work again and you were thankful. But today, as every other Saturdays, you wanted to stay on your own.
Mina's forced laugh broke the silence.
"Even if I tell you we're going to eat pizza?" Your lips curled into a tiny smile as you closed your eyes.
"Pizza is my weak point. How dare you?" You joked.
Mina giggled. You had just made a joke. This was a progress. "Can I take this as a yes, then?" She pushed her luck.
The smile disappeared. You slowly sat on your mattress, running a hand in your hair.
"Mina, I-"
Before you had the time to end your sentence, the phone changed hand and you got cut off by a less excited and more mature voice.
"So you're not coming ?" You recognized Vicky's voice.
It sounded more like a statement than a question, more like politeness than actual deception. It was okay though, they were getting used to your constant passivity. You hummed, brushing the fabric of your blanket in an absent gesture.
"Your loss then," Vicky joked. "That Xiumin kid is quite good-looking, you know. And something tells me he has a thing for you."
"What the hell are you talking about ?" You shook your head, rolling your eyes.
"Well if you come, you'll know." She teased.
"You're dumb." You smiled.
"And you need to forget that giant weirdo so you can have a bite of that Xiumin kid's fabulous ."
"I hate you."
She laughed a little.
"Greet everyone for me, will you?" You sighed.
"Yeah, of course."
"Okay."
"Alright. Take care."
The phone changed hands again and your ears met Mina's soft voice again.
"Still not coming?"
"Still not coming."
A short silence followed. Her lips curled into a quiet pout, Mina was probably waiting for you to realize what a huge mistake you were doing. What kind of sick people would say no to pizza and friends?
"I really think going out could help you to...you know, move on." She said. "You can't stay forever in your little bubble. I know it's hard for you but it's been almost two months since you guys broke up and I don't like to see you like that. It breaks my heart."
"It breaks my heart too, Mina."
"You miss him a lot, don't you?"
"... Yes, I do." You whispered, eyes wandering on the white celling again. "I miss him everyday."
_________________________________________________________________
Needless to say you finished the English project alone. (Not that you had actually expected Chanyeol to keep on being an active part of the project after all drama.) But you kept on going to the library after school, just in case. We never know, right?
Right.
You would sit at the usual spot, in the corner of the room next to the dictionaries section, making sure the chair in front of you was empty. Once, again, just in case. We just never know. You would work for an hour or two, glance from time to time at the entrance, try to not feel too disappointed and eventually go home. You finished the project quicker than you would ever did if Chanyeol was still there and yet, you didn't feel satisfied about it when you handed it to your teacher.
There, done.
The only thing connecting you to him was now over. The end.
But nostalgia is a and you kept on coming to the library after school, with or without English project to do. Just in case. Same old spot, still making sure the seat in front of yours would remain forever empty. You kept on glancing at the entry every five minutes, fighting the bitter feeling of knowing he wouldn't come anyway, because anything could happen. Literally anything. He could change his mind. He could forgive you. He could run in the library in slow motion with a Coldplay song in the background and wind in his hair. That could definitely happen anytime of any day, so you had to be ready. Just in case.
Patience is a virtue, and you weren't in a hurry anyway.
Days passed. Weeks. Soon, months. And of course, what had to happen did happen and someone finally sat on the precious chair you were saving for so long. Your heart was racing in anticipation as you raised your gaze from the magazine you were reading. You have been waiting for so long. So miracles could really happen. Or maybe not. The boy is front of you was not the one you needed and it took you less than three seconds to sigh, close the magazine, get up and grab your bag before walking away.
"Already leaving?" The boy raised a brow.
If there was one thing you had learned over the past few months, it was that being near to Kai would only bring you troubles.
"Ah, I see,” he sighed, watching you leave. "You're still a little annoyed."
A little annoyed? You got "a little annoyed" when Kai made fun of you in front of the whole class the day for having "the biggest ears he had ever witness, like seriously they look like freaking satellite bowls!".
You also got "a little annoyed" when he called you "poop-face" for a whole week or when he stole your pencil case every now and then . Yeah, those situations got you "a little annoyed".
But you definitely weren't "a little annoyed" when your heart got crashed in million of tiny pieces while the last bit of dignity had been rolled over by a truck. Nope, that definitely wasn't just being "a little annoyed".
"I have plenty other deals in store for you, if that's why you need." He crossed his arms.
But too late. You were gone and uninterested.
With a groan, he stood up and jogged behind you.
"So you're really mad, aren't you ?" He stated the obvious.
This boy was hopeless. You stayed quiet as you exited the library and made your way to the school's doorway.
"I can't believe I'm actually about to say that, but, ugh..." Kai rolled his eye as he reached your level. You quickened your pace. "I'm sorry, ok? Like, fore real. So stop being so...so boring? It's ing depressing. You've been like that for so long. It's not funny anymore."
You didn't react. Maybe the lack of response would be a clear signal to ing leave you alone.
"Apology accepted?" A grin sneaked at the corner of his lips as he stopped in front of you, blocking the way.
You stopped walking, to look at him.
"So? Am I forgiven?" He wiggled his eyebrows, already claiming victory.
Breathing in, you tried to stay as calm and polite as possible.
"Definitely not. Now, move out of my way."
Kai's lips curled into a ridiculous pout.
"Oh, c'mon..." He cried.
You sighed, waiting for him to move aside.
"I thought we were friends." He insisted.
"You're funny." You coldly answer.
His smile widened as you kept a blank and emotionless expression.
"Thank you for the indirect compliment." He ran a hand in his hair.
"That was not a compliment. Now, move aside, I have to go."
But he stayed right were he was.
"Only if you accept my apologies."
"I'd rather die than accept your crappy apologies, Kai."
"But I put lots of thoughts in it," he complained.
"Is it that entertaining?" You became irritated, disappointed in yourself for giving up to anger so easily.
"Is what entertaining ?" The smirk faded away, a frown darkening his face. "I don't get it."
"Of course you don't", you rolled your eyes.
You tried to bypass him, but he blocked you the way.
"Move aside."
"Is what entertaining?" He insisted.
"I said move aside."
"And I asked what's entertaining."
You crossed your arm, trying really hard to not lost your last bit of temper.
"Does making my life a living hell that entertaining to you, Kai?!?"
"Jesus ing Christ, can't you stop already??" Kai cried, ruffling his hair. "I said I was sorry!"
You scoffed.
"Oh wow, so the almighty Kai is sorry? What a blessed day, I think I just shed a tear!" You gasped, a hand reaching your heart.
He gave you a face.
"Why are you like that ?" Kai stared at you with a judging look.
"Oh because you think I actually care about your dumb apologizes. That's so cute."
"I said I was sorry, what do you need more ?"
Leaving you alone for the rest of his life was what you needed.
"Kai, I don't think you understand", you said, dropping your arms in the air. "I don't give a if you're sorry or not. There are moments when being sorry isn't enough. You lost my respect long ago and none of your dumb smiles will change this. Now please, get the out of my way."
Without a word, he stepped out of the way, looking at you like you had grown a second head.
"If you love that freak so much, go get him back. He's not that difficult." He stated with disdain.
"Shut up Kai." You walked away.
"Seriously, I'm sure you could give him a bag of chips and this idiot would literally fall back in love with you."
You turned back, clenching your fists. "What the hell is your problem?!?" You barked.
That idiot shrugged, happy to finally get a decent reaction of yours.
"Why are you always being a jerk to me? Are you that desperate for my attention? Don't you have anything better to do?" You asked, your heart hammering against your chest.
He watched you, amused. A slight smirk on his lips was lightening up his face. You were so tired. Tired of him, tired of all the things he had put you through. You needed a break. Couldn't he harass someone else?
"Do you have feelings for me, Kai?" You asked. "Sometimes, I really wonder if you do."
No actually, you didn't. This idiot didn't have a heart to start with.
A silent followed as his eyes met yours. His cocky smirk had disappear, leaving a strange expression on his face. He swallowed without breaking the eye-contact and all you could hear for a moment, was the blood pumping through your veins. Oh, wait, don't tell me... Your eyes widened, and for a short moment, you almost thought-
"You're even dumber than I thought you could be." He suddenly bursted in laugh.
Typical him. You rolled your eyes, feeling stupid for even thinking he could actually have human emotions. His laugh was noisy, loud and very annoying. So you walked away, leaving him to insanity.
_____________________________________________________________
Kai was at least right about one thing; people did forget. It took them a week or two to find out what "kind of girl" you were, eventually make fun of you and then move on. It was the circle of life. Sort of. The fact that the picture was very badly taken and not even revealing your face helped to fasten the process. It had been quicker than you had expected it to be. But also more damaging. The disapproving looks and quiet whispers had left a bitter after-taste of shame that you couldn't get a rid of.
Thankfully, no one knew about the Terms and Agreements which came along with the picture. You had been living with the fear of being ratted out once again but it seemed like Sehun had his limits and Kai had lost interest in this case. Thank God.
This had been the worst moment of your life and it was slowly getting better. Especially when the holidays finally came around. It was both a relief and a torture. The first days were the best because holiday were giving you a socially acceptable reason to hibernate and avoid the outside world for ever. There were no one to give you nasty looks, no one to pay attention to your miserable existence. Just you, your bed, a pack of tissues and lots of Disney movies.
You were recovering slowly and not seeing Chanyeol every single damn days without having the opportunity to chat with him in class kind of helped.
The fact that you were in the same class was torture and a few days of tranquility wasn't too much to ask for. You deserved that rest.
But as days flew by, your realized that tranquility was awfully boring. You spent your days doing nothing. Well...nothing except thinking more and more about him, which quickly became a real problem. His absence was getting too aching and soon, he was the only thing on your mind. You missed him even more now that you couldn't see him everyday. There was an hole in your chest that somehow, vanilla ice-cream couldn't fill up and a certain boy in your mind that cheesy movies couldn't wipe away.
Life .
But there was one night when the heartache is too painful and the feels too vivid. You were aimlessly wandering on the Internet, absent-mindedly humming the lyrics of Someone Like You while scrolling down your Facbook feeds. You'd be a terrible liar if you'd say you weren't checking Chanyeol's Facebook page every two minutes. He was the type of guy to put awkward selfie in the bathroom as a profile picture and post random jokes as statue, which was really dorky. And you were the type of girl who stalked him.
Gosh, you missed him so much. Maybe even too much. With a deep sigh, you closed the tab to open a new one. You had to stop obsessing about him, that was creepy. Maybe another cat video would heal you heart or at least anesthetize it for a while.
You started to type on the Youtube search bar when something else crossed you mind. Your index violently pressed the "supress" key before hitting the letters, replacing "cute cats" by something along the lines of "the rolling buffalo". When you pressed on "Enter" you knew this was wrong and a really bad idea, that it would only kindle the mess in your head and the tangles of your heart, but screw common sense, you needed comfort right now.
Unfortunately, Youtube only found videos of buffaloes rolling on the dirt and for a while you wondered what you had actually expected from this. Maybe Google had what you needed. There had to be a video of Chanyeol and his little friends' show somewhere on the damn Internet. A groan and few clicks later, you found their website. Very simple and minimalistic, they didn't put anything except their schedules which was even better since, oh my god, they had a show tonight!
It was as the same place as the last time. A quick glance at the clock informed you that it had already started but if you'd leave now, you could perhaps be there before the end. From now, everything happened very quickly. You grabbed a pair of shoes and a coat before storming out of your room. You ran down the stairs as if it was a matter of life and death (which quite frankly was the case) and almost missed a step.
"I'MGOINGATMINA'SPLACE, DON'TWAITFOR ME!" You yelled to whoever might been hearing before closing the front door behind you. You had never ran so fast of your life.
_______________________
But of course, by the time you got there, the show was already over. The last people were making their way home, quietly chatting and slowly emptying the streets.
"," you hissed, trying to push the door of the small bar.
But the door remained still. You leaned against the wall, trying to catch your breath. Your heart was hammering against your chest, your lungs were on fire. You stayed like this for a while, not really knowing what to do now. And to say you had actually run to be there on time. Sinking your hands in the pockets of your coat, you slowly walked away as the heat of the moment vanished as quickly as it had appeared. It was funny how when you were still with Chanyeol, you had never come to any of his show. And now, he you were. Oh, the irony.
Your breath left tiny clouds of stream in the darkness of the starless night while your steps echoed in the street and the cold freshened up your cheeks. It was a beautiful night. Peaceful and calm. Your hands sank a little deeper in your pockets, as you pondered what Disney movie you should watch when you'll get back home. You needed an extra dose of cheese, hopes and dreams tonight.
A heavy metallic sound broke the silence. You stopped walking. Turning back, you saw D.O. coming out of the back door of the bar. Your heart violently began to pound against your chest. Wait, wait, wait did that mean Chanyeol would come out too? At the thought, your hands started to feel sweaty and your heart got a little too excited.
D.O was animatedly speaking on the phone, walking in circles in front of the door. You couldn't hear anything, but by the way his arm was swinging around, you could tell the boy was pissed. Few seconds later, another person stepped out and as soon as you recognized the tall silhouette, your heart dropped. Okay, . It was him.
Chanyeol said something to D.O, who nodded in response and then started to walk away, which happened to be your direction. His hood was hiding his eyes, and you could tell he hadn't notice you in the distance and the darkness.
Your throat became dry, your heart tightening a little more. Oh God... Oh God... You were so not ready for that. This was getting too real and too fast. You didn't even have a plan or stuff to say. You just wanted to se the show, not him. Or maybe him too. But not now. Not like that. Not while wearing the pants of your pajamas that you had forgot to change before getting out, oh my god, this definitely couldn't happen.
You had to run away before doing anything stupid and making a fool of yourself. If Chanyeol was missing you, he would have responded to your texts. If he wanted to see you, he would have smile back at you in class and not avoid you like the plague. If he wanted to see you, he would have already done something. Something significant enough to make you understand that everything wasn't over. But did he do any of those things? Nope, he certainly did not. So better run now.
But of course, your thoughts were too tangled to actually do the proper things right now and take the right decisions. And seeing him right here, right now wasn't helping at all. You missed him too much to actually run away. You had spent too many sleepless nights, remembering what was once yours, to escape so easily. If he didn't want to talk to you at school, maybe he could acknowledge your existence here, in another context. There would be no one observing you, gossiping, judging. There would be only Chanyeol and you and it sounded quite nice. Blame it on the abuse of Disney movies' optimist or blame it on your stupidity, but you were going to talk to him.
Taking a deep, deep, deep breath, you quickly fixed your hair with shaking hands and hoped you didn't look like a mess. Just say hi, give him a smile and everything would be okay. You could do that. You did it an hundred time and it wasn't like you couldn't handle rejection, right? Right. And it wasn't like you were trying to initiate anything here. Meeting here was just a pure and completely coincidence, and you were just greeting him because you're very polite. Yes, exactly.
He was approaching quickly. Too quickly. You opened your mouth to say something, ready to make a good impression. But instead of a confident and "Hello, there", words got messed up in the process and you burbled an incoherent flow of sounds that didn't sound at all like a confident and "Hello, there".
"Hurllo, there."
Oh God.
The weird combination of sounds must have alerted Chanyeol who raised his head, the hood of his jumper falling off his face. He glanced around, with a raised eyebrow, before landing his glaze on you. His eyes widened. His jaw dropped. You had never seen someone becoming so pale so fast.
"Hey." You said (audibly this time) with a tiny smile, trying to get over the general awkwardness. "Fancy seeing you here."
Chanyeol blinked once. Twice. Thrice. He kept on blinking without saying anything and you were slowly dying.
"What a small worl-"
"What are you doing here?" He whispered confused. "Did you come to the show?"
Ha ha, nice to see you too Chanyeol. You shook your head, feeling redness setting fire to your face.
"Uh, I was actually in the neighborhood to take a walk and-"
"But you don't live here." He cut you off. The frown wouldn't leave his face and you didn't know anymore what made you think this would be a good idea.
"Ha-ha, you're right." Your heart fastened, your hands were all sweaty. This wasn't going well. "It's just that I particularly enjoy this part of the town, so here I am."
With a quick glance at the surroundings, Chanyeol suspiciously hummed. If you said so. You studied his face, trying to figure out if he was annoyed to see you here or not. It was frankly hard to tell. He readjusted the guitar on his shoulder and waited for you to say something.
"How are you doing?" You asked, playing with your fingers.
You had never been good with small talks and the way he was fidgeting didn't help you.
"I'm good." Chanyeol said, not really looking at you, balancing his weight from one feet to the other.
"Okay." You slowly nodded.
"Okay." He replied.
"Hum, did the show go well ?" He was still avoiding your eyes and you felt sad.
"Yeah."
"Okay."
"Okay."
You had daydreamed this moment for so long and in every scenarios (even the worst) Chanyeol didn't act like that. The atmosphere between you was so awkward it hurt and you didn't know wether to cry or...cry.
There were no connection at all. You had been way too naive, thinking coming here would change anything. Chanyeol hated you and he had all the reasons to do so. You knew him too well to know this wouldn't lead to anything good. He was avoiding your gaze, barely answering, not even faking a smile. Maybe leaving was the best thing to do. You were tired of being the greedy of this story.
"Okay then." You forced a smile which hurt your cheeks. "It was nice see-"
"You've got to be kidding me."
You froze. Sehun. Please, no.
"Unbelievable." The boy popped out of nowhere.
Looking at you scornfully, he dramatically sighed.
"Hey," you politely said.
"Don't 'hey' me," he coldly cut you off, narrowing his eyes.
If the boy could kill you, he would. It was written in his gaze. You coughed awkwardly as he looked down on you. Ok, it was definitely time to go.
"Well, hum..." you mumbled. "It was nice too see you both. I'm goi-"
"What do you want from him?" Sehun crossing his arm, barely hiding his irritation. "Can't you just, like, leave him alone?"
"C'mon Sehun, don't be like that," Chanyeol weakly pleaded.
The youngest boy raised a hand in the air, making the tallest shut up.
"I can't believe you had the nerve to stalk him."
"She said she was taking a walk." Chanyeol interrupted.
Sehun snorted.
"A walk? Here? At 11 in the evening? Sure." He slowly nodded.
Your eyes dropped to the floor as shame and embarrassment crashed down on you.
"Sehun..." Chanyeol whispered.
"I thought the whole picture thing made it clear," Sehun carried on. "Do you need me to tell everyone about the deal or what? I told you to leave him alone."
You slowly nodded, biting your lips. Chanyeol gave you a sorry look that didn't help to ease the discomfort.
"I'm sorry, I-" You stammered.
"Yeah, whatever." Sehun rolled his eyes. "C'mon Yeollie, let's go."
Sehun walked away, followed by a hesitant Chanyeol. His mouth was opening and closing, as he wanted to say something. But he didn't say anything and it was probably better like that.
"Oh, and guess what," Sehun turned back with the scariest smirk you had ever seen. "I case you actually want him back or something, just know he has another girlfriend. So just give up."
Your heart missed a beat.
"Ok, Sehun for real you need to calm down, man." Chanyeol stopped in his track.
"She's hotter than you will ever be-" Sehun ignored him.
"Sehun, what the hell?" Chanyeol raised his voice.
"And she loves him for real. Unlike you." He kept on talking, the smirk never leaving his lips.
"Sehun, shut up!" Chanyeol groaned, his cheeks getting red.
"...."
"Sehun!!" Chanyeol cried, staring at his friend with horrified eyes.
Your mind went blank. Numb. Empty. Shut down. You could barely feel your heart being smashed to the ground. So that was how dying felt?
"...A girlfriend?" You chocked, tears forming too quickly at the edge of your eyelashes.
"Yeah." Sehun nodded.
"No!" Chanyeol shook his head. "What the hell, man? I don't have any- wait, where are you going?"
You were leaving. This was too much to handle and you didn't want to cry in front of both of them. You had no right to be jealous. No right to make him a scene. If he had a new girlfriend, then good for him. Coming here was such a terrible idea anyway. You heard his footsteps behind you and you quickened up your pace. Tears were threatening to fall. He was approaching too fast.
"... Hey ?" Chanyeol slowly said, grabbing your arm. "Are you crying?"
"I wish you a lot of happiness Chanyeol." You muttered, trying to sound as formal as possible, your eyes dropping on the ground.
"Wait, no, no, no!" He shook your arm almost desperately. "I don't have a girlfriend!"
You frowned, not understanding.
"But Sehun..." You weakly whispered.
"Sehun is an idiot." Chanyeol said.
"I'm right here, Chanyeol." Sehun replied.
Chanyeol rolled his eyes, not letting go of your arm.
"I don't know why he said that," he shrugged. "I really don't."
"Oh," you slowly nodded, feeling suddenly very stupid. And relieved. So, so relieved.
"I can't believe you're this weak, Park Chanyeol." Sehun sighed, shaking his head. "After all that happened, you still fall in her trap. I'm giving up on you.."
This time, Chanyeol let go of your arm. Putting his hands in his pockets, he mumbled something you couldn't catch.
"By the way, he wrote a song about you," Sehun groaned.
Your heart fluttered.
"Really?" You asked with stars in your eyes.
Did Chanyeol really do that? Well he definitely was the type to do that. You glanced at him, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush on your cheeks, because technically he was still mad at you, and technically you were a , and technically your relationship was over and you heart was beating too fast and maybe this was the beginning of a reconciliation and-
"It's called "Rachet- Hoe" Sehun smirked, crashing all your hopes and dreams.
Oh. So this was not the beginning of a reconciliation.
"Is that true?" You frowned, looking at Chanyeol who seemed completely mortified.
Sparkling with glee, Sehun clasped his hands together and admired his work. Justice had been served tonight.
"Uh..." Chanyeol bit his lips, looking at you. And then at Sehun. And then back at you. And now back to Sehun
He scratched his head and for a moment. You thought he would just ignore what just happened and not answer. You were about to die.
"Yeah..." He finally stuttered after a while.
"Yes?" You blinked.
"Yes." He admitted, his eyes falling to the ground.
"Oh," you whispered.
So Chanyeol wrote a song about you called "Ratchet- hoe.” Hum, okay.
"Oh." You said again, a little lourder this time, as realisation hit you in the face.
"Yeah. I'm so sorry." Chanyeol apologized,awkwardly running the palms of his hands on his jeans. "I just had lots of feelings to express. I thought I was going to explode and- "
"Don't worry, it's ok," you shook your head, not really understanding how you were supposed to feel. "I kind of deserved it, after all."
"Yes, you totally do." Sehun raised his head from his phone.
"I'm kind of a ratchet- hoe. So fair enough." You shrugged, really trying to not look offended or hurt.
Which, indeed was hard. But to help Chanyeol to loose up a bit and see the frown on his face disappear, your lips curled into a stupid smile to prove that, no you were offended at all. No, it was absolutely fine. No, that song must be great.
And for the first time since weeks, he smiled back at you. It wasn't the usual mischievous grin, with his nose doing the weird thing and his left eyes going crazy. It was shy, hesitant, fragile.
You awkwardly rubbed your hands on your pants, an uneasy but genuine smile lightening up your face. You felt all weird again. But a good kind of weird. The humiliation faded away, replaced with warmth. You had almost forgotten how the light in his eyes had the power to make you feel a little dizzy.
"So no sparkling jacket tonight? " You changed the subject, your cheeks on fire.
"Ah," Chanyeol looked down at the black hoodie he was wearing. "Not this time. D.O said it was a little too much. Something about looking like a 80's boysband."
"I liked that jacket."
"Yeah, the glitters matched with my skin tone so beautifully." Chanyeol replied, his smile reaching his eyes a little more with every laugh.
Good, keep on laughing. Keep on smiling. Keep on being that Chanyeol.
But somewhere between the laughters and shy glances, you felt a strange weight in your stomach. The same type of weight you were holding for so long. Way before Sehun told him about the deal. Way before everything got out of control. You pinched your lips, feeling the moment coming. You heart was racing so fast. Maybe what you were about to say would ruin everything, but that was a risk you were willing to take.
"I owe you some apologies, Chanyeol." The words came out of your mouth on their own. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I regret it so much I really do. I can't stop thinking about it and I feel horrible. I don't expect you to forgive me or anything. I just want you to know how sorry I am."
There you had said it. Chanyeol's smile vanished. He stayed silent, his index rubbing the strap of his guitar's slipcover, his eyes lost somewhere on the ground.
"Okay." He spoke after a while.
"Uh, okay?"
Chanyeol nodded with a strangely peaceful smile.
"Thank you for your apologies. It means a lot to me." His lips curled into a tiny smile. "I know this was a difficult situation for you and I guess everyone does mistake, right ? I just wished I had known the truth from you and not someone else. It would have been easier to, you know, accept it. Sort of. Anyway, I think your apologizes will help me to move on."
Move on? Ok, wasn't he supposed to say admire your attempt at becoming a better person, possibly realize how much he missed you and fall back in love with you? You didn't want him to move on if that meant moving on from you.
"Oh." You poorly said, feeling very dumb all of a sudden. "Great?"
No. Not great at all.
"Yeollie, we gotta go now." Sehun interrupted, shouting from the other side of the street. "D.O and I want to go home."
"Seems like we're leaving. You should go home now. Being alone at night isn't safe." He declared, landing a comforting hand on your shoulder.
The touch was brief, warm and yet cold. Like a final contact, he was saying goodbye. Goodbye to you and the imaginary relationship you once had shared. Goodbye to the pain, goodbye to the shy kisses Chanyeol was going to move on, and look at how pathetic you are. You had apologized, that was all he needed to heal.
"Take care of yourself," he whispered, his hand leaving your shoulder.
You thought apologizing would make you feel better. But it did not. You wanted to say more. You wanted to tell him how much you missed him, how stupid you had been, how much you regretted everything. But the moment had passed and everything was over now. He was going to move on. This would forever remain as a bittersweet memory.
"Goodnight," Chanyeol said before walking away.
Soon enough, you were alone, more lost than ever. There was a hint of finality in the way he said goodbye.
_______________________________________________________________________________
"I mean, no offense, but I never quite understood how you ended up with that guy," Baekhyun shrugged, chewing loudly his food.
Back to school, back to hell.
"How could a girl like you, end up with a boy like him ?" Baekhyun asked, his chopstick flying around.
Mina was nodding like a cute little puppy whereas Vicky just hummed. You didn't like the way they were all staring at you and you never felt so alone in the crowded school's cafeteria.
"I mean, come on, let's be honest, you're too good for him."
You stared at your plate. Oh, was it really the case? You strongly doubted it but didn't felt the need to contest it. What would be the point anyway? They were all thinking Chanyeol had dumped you because of the shameful picture. Which kind of was the truth. They didn't need the details.
You kept silent, playing with your food.
"You're a 10 whereas he's more like a...a..." The boy took a moment to think.
"A 4?" Kris tried from the other side of the table, not looking up from his phone.
"A 3." Baekhyun declared.
Your lips vaguely drew a smile, accepting the clumsy attempt at comforting. The gesture was noble,the effort noticeable. And said with that warm smile of his, it would probably gone straight to your heart.Too bad every words were irking you so much, giving you the irrepressible need to stab him with your chopstick. No surprise you had fallen for him, this guy was such a sweet talker.
The charming smile, the calm voice, the sparkle in the eyes, Byun Baekhyun sure knew how to make people feel special. But with a broken heart come bitterness, and the poor broke-hearted girl that you were didn't need Baekhyun's empty praises.
Was it the way his arms was so loosely set up around Mina's shoulder or simply the way he was talking about Chanyeol? Both maybe.
You kept on hearing him going on about how "the weirdo" and "how unmatching you were as a couple" and bla, bla, bla.
"Don't you agree?" He gives you a warm smile. The same he gave you when offering his friendship.
The kind he always give to everyone.
It was funny how you were noticing those little details days after days. For months, you had been lurking over him. Admiring him from afar, too dazzled to realize what was underneath the pretty boy image and shining smiles. Would it be the same about Chanyeol? Would you wake up one day, free from the sweet illusion? The thought made your heart sunk a little deeper.
"He's just so weird." Baekhyun sighed. "Very weird."
The boy kept on blabbling about stuff he didn't know. You could tell he was trying to help but...
"Enough."
You stood up, slamming your hands on the table. You didn't feel hungry anymore. Slowly, you grabbed your stuff and left under stunned eyes without adding another word. You then proceeded to walk away with your plate without further explanations. You needed to get out of here. Now and possibly forever. You just couldn't do this anymore.
"Uh, did I say something wrong?" You heard Baekhyun ask, from a distance.
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(A/N) oh, hello there
Is it too late to wish you a happy nex year ?
After months and months of struggling with uni life and basically dropping this fanfic, I'm finally back (oh, yeah)! 
This took me so long, and I really want to apologize for being such a looser. You've been all so nice to me, and patient, and supportive and it makes me very emotional ಥ_ಥ Thank you all so much ! You are now 2,200+ reading this fanfic and I'm a big mess of emotions and happiness. Thank you so, so, so much for everything ∩˙▿˙∩ ♥
Also, next chapter should be the last one (?!?!). Not because I take forever to update, but because the story is planned that way. So, yeah be ready for the great finale ! ◝(⁰▿⁰)◜
EDIT 19/07: YES, YES , YES I'm going to udpate and NO, NO, NO the story is not over. I'm sorry it's taking so long but I have other things to do so pls be a little more patient with me, I'll try my best to give you the great finale you all wait for.
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