Love and War

Bullets and friendship

 

P.S Decided to use Thunder. CheonDung sounds weird, sry :< 
Caitlin Ung (8 Zeta)
Literature-Compose a short story of around 1500 words about a situation. Within this situation, develop your characters around a theme of your choice. 
 
He takes a hesitant step forward. Wanting to just run away and cry like a little boy that dropped his candy, but he knows that he must be strong. He has to do what he needs to do.
His heart breaks at the sight of her, spreading her arms like sails to protect HIM, his best friend. Why did it have to end like this for both of them?
Deep breath, in and out. Just pull the trigger,Joon. 
 
*FLASHBACK*
 
He loads his gun and starts to take aim at the girl. A glint of sunlight dances on his face, illuminating the unique features underneath a soft, tan glow. Now, those features were hardened with intense concentration as his sharp eyes take aim through the crosshairs of his gun. He starts to pull the trigger. But he can’t. His fingers shake and his aim gets out of control. “I can’t do this” he mutters. He doesn’t even know why she had to be killed. He throws down the gun and for the next few minutes, just stays at his hiding spot at the building and looks at the girl, still innocently talking on the phone, the sunlight grazing her beautiful innocent face, not knowing that she was almost assassinated by one of the top sniper assassins. 
 
*FLASHBACK*
 
“RUN QUICKLY LEAH!” Joon screams. He grabs her hands tighter as they run through the never-ending pathways and roads behind the back alleys of dark buildings, buildings that exist in the shabbier parts of Seoul. Gunshots can be heard behind them now. She grips his hand tightly and runs as fast as she can, fear pumping in her ears and heart. Why did they want her? It was her father’s problem, not hers. As they run through the dark alleys ways, a sudden gunshot was fired, and Leah suddenly felt a pang of pain running down her arm. “No...” Joon gasps with big eyes, finally stopping his frantic running. He leaves her to the side gently and turns back slowly, and with determined eyes, runs forward and begins to attack whoever that harmed his beloved Leah.
 
*After the fight*
 
“BRO!” Joon shouts. “Joon?” Thunder says to himself. He walks out of their caravan/home. Joon hasn’t been home in days, Thunder thinks to himself. His eyes widen at the sight in front of him. “Oh God Joon, what happened man?” he whispers. Joon was carrying Leah in his arms and Leah’s arm was a mess, the bullet hole still imbedded into her flesh. She weakly raises her face and looks at Thunder’s face. Even with her blurring vision, she could make out a handsome and unique face not far from Joon’s godly one with big, trusting eyes. “Hi…”she weakly mumbled. Then her world blurred and she fainted. 
When she woke up, it was Joon’s face staring up at her. He softly her face and muttered comforting words to her while he checked her bullet wound. “You might have to stay here for a while,” he says. “I don’t want you to get in trouble with your stupid fathers cronies again.” “It’s fine” she mumbles weakly, “I have my clothes here anyway” Joon just smiles her and slowly gives her a sweet kiss on her lips. Then she closes her eyes and sleeps soundly. 
Joon makes his way out after seeing that Leah fell asleep. He takes long strides outside the door and meets Ben sorting out the old metal that practically piled up everywhere in the yard, well obviously since they live in a scrapyard. “Hey Thunder, I’m going to train for a while, take care of her will you?” said Joon. “Sure” says Thunder, as he wipes his dirty fingers on his shirt.” And a small smile passes through Joon to him.
Joon arrives at his usual training spot, with different types of guns and papers strewn around a table. He loads a gun and takes aim at the two bottles lined up in a straight line, both spaced out by 5 feet. 
Breathe in, breathe out. 
Shoot. The bullet is released from its hold and instead of hitting the first bottle; it curves around the first bottle and hits the second bottle, right in the middle. 
He releases his tense breath and mutters to himself, “I have to do it, I need to help them” 
After a couple of days without Joon around, Leah and Thunder have gotten closer and closer. Since the absence of Joon, Thunder has been trying to fill in the empty spot in the house by cooking with Leah just to have fun with her. They found that both of them have similar taste in almost everything and share a dedicated love for ramen, which they found hilarious. As the days pass by, Leah becomes drawn to this truly shy and lovable guy, whom cares for her in a way she can’t see in Joon, but she knows it’s wrong. Joon is her boyfriend. She can’t be disloyal. Joon was there for her all the time, through the ups and downs, but is this a new love interest? She shakes her head while shaking out his handsome image, and moves her head from the window where she was looking at Thunder sort of the rusted metal pieces of the junkyard and continues to read her book.
Thunder looks up, all sweaty and drenched from sorting out the metal pieces. He glances at the caravan to check on Leah whether she was fine. He sees her reading her book, her face inclined towards to book, sunlight softly touching her face, making it seem more serene and beautiful than usual. He stands there for a good 3 minutes, just admiring her beauty, but he knows that underneath that beautiful faces lies and equally innocent and charming personality that won him over since she came after that night. “I can’t…” he says to himself. He reminds himself, that’s his best friends girl, he knows that Joon will give up his life just to make sure she is safe and sound, and to try and take that away from him? “She just another girl Thunder …” he mutters to himself while blushing, organizing the metal pieces with new energy, trying to shake of her image from his mind. 
Thunder and Leah sit down to eat dinner in front of the TV again, organizing their favourite dinner, ramen while adjusting their seats here and there. While adjusting her seat, Leah accidentally slips and lands in Thunder arms, their faces nearly touching. As they gaze into each other’s eyes, Thunder Ben slowly lowers his head down, and Leah just closes her eyes and waits for her lips to connect to his soft ones. Just as their noses connected, a loud drop can be heard from the door. Thunder and Leah quickly scrambled up to see Joon, with his bag on the floor, a look of mortification on his face. 
Joon drags Leah out without caring whether she could keep up with his angry stride; his eyes are filled with anger and betrayal, pain and hurt. How could he? How could Ben, his best friends whom he trusted so much, do that to him? But deep in his heart, he knew it was coming, and he knew it was a sign to carry on with his plan. A plan that he had hope not to put into action for so long.
“Joon!” Joon turned around to see Thunder running up to Leah and grabbing her hand on the other side, with determination in his eyes that said a clear message. “Let her go Sean, you’re hurting her”. With his free hand, he punched Thunder to the ground, almost knocking him flat. “NO!” Leah screamed. She wrenches her hand away from Joon and drops to the ground, helping Thunder to get up. “How could you hit him?! Your own best friend?!” she screams. “Yeah, a best friend who betrayed me! And my own girlfriend who decided to betray me to!” he screamed back. Finally, Sean couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled out his gun and automatically, as he was trained to do so, aimed it. At Thunder.
Leah spread her arms and pushed a now standing Ben behind her, defending him, as she said “Kill him and kill me”
He takes a hesitant step forward. Wanting to just run away and cry like a little boy that dropped his candy, but he knows that he must be strong. He has to do what he needs to do.
 
His heart breaks at the sight of her, spreading her arms like sails to protect HIM, his best friend. Why did it have to end like this for both of them?
 
Deep breath, in and out. Just pull the trigger, Joon.
 
He pulls. The bullet is released. Both Leah and Thunder close their eyes and Thunder puts his arms around Leah, bracing for the bullet to pierce one of their skin.
 
As the bullet was going to hit Leah, it suddenly swerves, it goes around Thunder and Leah’s head, going back like a replay and as what Joon has seen and practiced for so many years, makes a circle around their heads and shoots back to him. He closes his eyes and felt a tear trickle down. His first tear in his entire life. Then the bullet enters his neck, and he falls.
Thunder and Leah open their eyes and see his body falling. As if time was slowed down, they quickly run up to catch him. Joon looks at both of them, not with anger or hate, but with love-filled eyes, as he pulls out a half-stained check for 1 million dollars out of his coat pocket, right underneath the bullet wound. He can feel his life draining away from him as blood continuously oozes out, dripping to the rough road. He holds Leah hand for the last time and gazes at her face, a face that he would remember forever, and his heartbeat stops. 
 
Thunder’s tears graze down his cheeks as he finally came back to reality, the pain that hit him right through his chest, the amount of grieve for his best friend, his saviour, all because of this one girl that both of them will die for. He lets out an agonized scream as he clutches the body of Joon, now dead.
 
Leah looks at the check in Joon lifeless hand and gazes at the sticky note, her eyes still flowing uncontrollably with tears. “~This is the ransom that your father given me to give up my life in exchange for yours Leah, please, forget about me, live a happy life with Thunder. He will take better care for you. And Thunder, you have been my best buddy since the end, please take care of the love of my life. Regards, your ever loving bimbo ,Joon ~”
 

“I trusted you, you were my friend - how could you do this to me

I brush myself off and get up

As much as I suffered, you just watch

You mess with love, you mess with friendship - just watch

It’s war, you coward - just watch

You made her cry again

You coward, you, who messed with my love

It’s war” -전쟁이아by MBLAQ

A/N-Too short ? PLS COMMENT and tell me wether its ok :( 
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YooniqueDJ
#1
Remember, new speaker, new line.
Hmm, some spelling errors.
Use the spell check next time saengie, to make sure :)
YooniqueDJ
#2
You had two "flashback" - one at the start of the flashback and another at the end of the paragraph. There is another flashback continuing after that, which doesn't really make sense if you write "flashback" after the first flashback paragraph, if you know what I'm saying. You need to read out again, and edit your work before posting to correct any grammatical errors or phrasing. Your vocabulary is great. There is just a small problem - you used the same words, "innocent" twice in a sentence. Not really proper, but there is always the thesaurus ! :)
Remember, always edit your work first.
YooniqueDJ
#3
writing*
YooniqueDJ
#4
Wow, honestly! Your one-shot here is very very well written! Though it's almost like a transcript of what the MV is about, isn't it?
Then it can't really be an inspiration, because it's just what the MV's about, isn't it?
Anyhow, we're here about writiing quality, and I'm impressed. Great job dongsaeng :)
YooniqueDJ
#5
Dongsaengie, firstly, your Foreword needs fixing up.
Don't use too much colours and your layout is a bit ... unorganised? Mian.
One way to attract subscribers is how you set out your Foreword, and yes, it requires time and dedication. If you are too lazy to work on your Foreword and would prefer to jump straight onto the story itself... it wouldn't really make sense, would it?
Keep practising on your Foreword - use fewer colours (especially neon colours and background ones...) and stick to that one/two colours. Three max.