Because I don't know how to love

Hongki was sitting on one of the chair, hand resting on his knee, looking bored. Yunho and Jaejoong are still inside the room across the lawn at the country house, finishing their last preparation. Hongki was waiting for them while greeting the guest that already made their arrival early. None of the guest Hongki knew their background. All were his brother’s friend here in Canada. Yunho and Jaejoong have decided after last incident to get married here in the Canada in spring. It wasn’t that cold now, so they decided to have their wedding ceremony somewhere in the country house.

The country house is beautiful. The scenery was breath taking. The house had that kind of romantic feeling, while the lawn are big, completes with a beautiful garden. At the back of the house, there are big shady tree and a wooden swing attached to it. Hongki always likes that swing. First time Hongki saw that swing he always spent his time playing alone, spacing out.

Many guests arrived now. In the group of guests, Hongki noticed Jung Yong Hwa, Yunho’s cousin. Hongki get up from his sit and greets Yonghwa. Yonghwa noticed Hongki, stunned by Hongki’s new appearance. Hongki’s hair had cut short, with a little bit of brownish. Hongki looks more boyish than before, but in much better way. Yunho said Hongki look cute this way. Hongki was wearing a formal expensive white long sleeves shirt tuck in with a black skinny and a pair of casual shoes.

Hongki no longer stand being there and greeted everyone, so Hongki went at the back of the house, to his favourite swing there. Hongki sat at the swing and pushed himself back and forth softly. The wind there were breezing and caressing Hongki’s skin. Hongki felt at ease here. He felt really happy here. Despite ‘he’ was not here with him. It had been a year now. A year Jonghun had been away, leaving him.

Hongki’s thought wildly remember a year back at the hospitals after the terrifying accident. Hongki remembered when Jonghun said he doesn’t know him. Hongki felt sad and really wanted to hit Jonghun back to his senses. Jonghun continuously called Hongki pretty, even though before Jonghun always called Hongki as ‘princess’. And it hurt even more when his friends just standing there not saying anything to help him.

Hongki stormed out from the room crying but half way to the corridor, Hongki walked back to Jonghun’s door room and stand there listening to everything inside. He heard everything alright. Jonghun was lying saying he doesn’t remember Hongki. Jonghun was lying. And he lied to him because he loves him. Jonghun lied to him to protect Hongki from hurting more. Everyone kept saying that they want to protect him from hurting because they love him, but actually it was much hurts knowing that they lied because of it.

Hongki was still standing there when Wonbin walked out from the room. Wonbin saw him crying and Wonbin pull Hongki out from there. Hongki still remember Wonbin’s last words that day.

“You choose Hongki. To stop him from going or to stay here waiting for him. You choose”


“If you can’t even choose that, you are actually stupid Hongki!”

“Wonbin, I choose... to wait for him...”

“That’s good. Now, stop crying. He will be back even before you knew it.”

Really Wonbin? Will he be back before I even knew it? It had been a year now. I really miss him. Hongki murmured silently and pushes himself harder on the swing. Hongki look around and saw Wonbin held up his hand in the air and called for him. Hongki knew Wonbin will be here attends his brother’s wedding.


“LEE HONG KI! Wake up now! JUNG YUN HO! You two! WAKE UP NOW!

Jaejoong’s voice echoed throughout the house from Hongki’s bedroom. Jaejoong woke up this morning just to found Yunho was missing from his bed and he even wondered if his partner already awake. Jaejoong was on his way to wake up Hongki, when he found Yunho was cuddling his brother on Hongki’s single bed. Jaejoong smile a bit seeing his spouse hugging his brother. He knew Yunho spoilt his brother too much, but he can’t blame Yunho alone, as Hongki is too cute to even to be ignored.

Noticing the digital clock watch on Hongki’s bed table, Jaejoong shake Yunho’s body lovingly and whisper loving words to make his spouse to wake up but Yunho just stirred in his sleep and tightened his arms around Hongki. Jaejoong tried releasing the hug and tugging Yunho’s shirt but Yunho and Hongki who was still don’t want to wake up pulled up their blanket and continue to sleep. Jaejoong can’t take it anymore seeing both boys acting like a sleepyhead so he yelled at them and spanked Yunho’s . His partner really needs to wake up now or he will be late for work. And Hongki will be late for his first day in college.

“Let them be Jaejoongie. I think Yunho was worried about Hongki because today is his first day in college right?”

Yun Ae said while standing in front of Hongki’s bedroom door, hands holding a mug.

“Umma, Yunho is acting like a spoilt child now and he knew his baby brother is a grown up man now, yet he sleeps with him, again”

Jaejoong said and a sigh following along. Yunho and Jaejoong have been living together with Hongki and his mother at the same house. It had been 3 years now and Yunho still can’t fix his attitude being an overprotective brother.

“Or more likely forced Hongki to sleep with him. I heard weird sounds last night. It came from Hongki’s room. I guess he just can’t let go his baby brother to grow up now. So does we”

Yun Ae commented. Jaejoong and Yun Ae chuckled together. It was a fact that they actually never want Hongki to grow up like a man. To this family, Hongki was a treasure that they want to keep forever. Because they knew, because of this particular boy named Hongki, they know how to love a person properly now.


“Seriously, after even you are in college he still insisted to sleep with you?”

Jaejin asked when both boys stepped inside the college’s compound searching for their first class for today.

“What a one scary brother’s love”

Wonbin murmured, appearing from behind.


Both boys half screamed in unison. They actually wondering just now where is the strongest person in the group been to. It had been a while since they see him as Wonbin was busy with his boxing tournament, but still managed to attend the same college with Hongki and Jaejin. And Jaejin was a genius to start with as he scored the highest marks in the entrance examination and managed to be in same college with his hyung even he was a one year apart. While the magnaes was still in school and when they have time, they will either spending it at Hongki’s house playing games or went to arcade and mall together.

“I miss you!”

Hongki said and capturing Wonbin at the waist. Due to Wonbin’s height, Hongki was likely depending on Wonbin’s weight to support him.

“Yah! We are in college’s compound now”

Wonbin yelled at Hongki who was still clinging to him like a monkey.

“We used to be so intimate”

Hongki answered looking at Wonbin with a pout. Wonbin knew he can’t win over Hongki, so he let Hongki hugged him for a few minutes before realizing many eyes were staring at him. Wonbin knew, even after 3 years, he still have feelings for Hongki and Hongki have been so depending on him these years. It’s not that he doesn’t like it or anything, he just can’t accept the fact that even after 3 years Hongki’s heart is still with ‘that person’.

“Aish, come we will late for class. And after this, we will be seeing Minwhan and Seunghyun. They will be waiting at our old school”

Wonbin pulled Hongki by the hands and Jaejin followed suit. The boys were smiling in happiness and together they were hugging along the hallway to find their class. Everyone stared at them like they were bunch of idiots gigglings and hugging each other. But the boys ignored all people there, because they knew better. They are friends, friends that have a good memory together and even with differences between them, they completes each other like a real friend should. Today, Hongki found his treasure here with his friends. The treasure that he found it by fate and Hongki promised to hold this treasure close to his heart, dont want to let it go.


“Seriously, why I have to take business lectures again?”

“That’s because Yunho’s father want you to be in his company. Remember?”

Jaejin answered Hongki’s question and ignoring him. His eyes set in front. Jaejin knew being the same class with his hyung can bring trouble as Hongki really doesn’t like anything with business but Jaejin already made his promise to Yunho that he will be taking care of Hongki and be his tutor for the subject.

“But I hate business. I just want to sing! I love singing!”

Hongki whined and put his head on the desk.

“Shhh! The lecturer is coming”

Jaejin hushed Hongki to silence as the lecturer came inside the lecturing hall and stand in front. His back facing the boys as he was struggling with the microphone. The hall was big enough to accommodate 100 students and Jaejin and Hongki choose to sit at the middle of the hall in third highest row. The best spot to take a nap, Hongki said before he pulled Jaejin there.

Hongki knew Jaejin is a genius so Hongki decided to copy the notes from Jaejin later on. Hongki was sleepy today, and he was forced to leave the house with a sleepyhead, and when his head found a suitable position and feeling comfortable with it, bit by bit Hongki was drifted into a sleep.

 “Hello everyone! I will be your part time lecturer as the professor is on leave due to some medical terms.”


Jaejin murmured and elbowed Hongki’s rib cage. Hongki twitched in pain. Seriously Jaejin? Can’t he just let me sleep? Hongki thought silently and was about to drift off to sleep again but Jaejin hold Hongki’s sleepyhead up and positioned it to see directly in front.

“Pay attention.....on front”

“Jong Hun”

Hongki blurted out the name. His eyes are not imagining things at all. His eyes are not playing tricks anymore. Even with the sleepyhead, Hongki knew that figure standing proudly there. The figure in front of him, hands holding the microphone. The same figure that he had longing all these years. Those sharp nose that he always adore. That y lips whose captured his lips 3 years before. The prince that he had waits for 3 years. He‘s come back, finally. No wonder, he recognised the voice just now. Choi Jong Hun is back at his side again. The real 'treasure' came back for him. Choi Jong Hun, he kept his promise.


After the class’s over, Hongki, Jaejin and Jonghun met and ended sitting at the bench, near the lecture hall they just attended. Jaejin was the first person to break the awkwardness between Jonghun and Hongki. Jaejin asked Jonghun wellbeing and asked him how he ended become the lecturer here. He was young to be a lecturer to start with. Jonghun explained that he continued his study at Australia and received a scholarship there. Jonghun managed to beat other students and achieved great results so he finished his studies quicker than others who are the same age as him. When he returned to Korea, one of his father’s friends asked him to substitute for him as he was qualified to teach business lectures. Jonghun never thought that he will be seeing them again here.

Hongki watched Jonghun explained everything to Jaejin but gaze away when their eyes met. Jonghun stared at Hongki up and down. He knew his feelings well. He never stopped loving Hongki even until this day. Jonghun noticed Hongki’s hair had been made to a curl now with light brownish color and he look more beautiful now. Seeing Hongki again, Jonghun's heart kept falling again for him.

“Well, I need to find Wonbin. He’s here somewhere”

Jaejin said, again breaking the silence. Why it always me between this hyungs? Jaejin asked himself the question in his head. Jaejin walked leaving the boys to settle with their past but he stopped half way, noticing a hand grabbing him at his wrist.

“Wait. I don’t know him.... He’s....”

Jonghun muttered, stuttering, pretending not knowing Hongki. He still was clueless as ever and thought of going on with the scheme he made 3 years back.

“Stop it already Choi Jong Hun. Hongki already know all about it. And I wasn’t the one who told him. He was standing outside your room listening to you”

Jaejin whispered and patted Jonghun’s back. It was about time his hyungs to reunites again. Hongki have waited for too long now.

“Hongki waited for you all this time. He loves you. Now, go to him. You promised Wonbin to come back to make him happy again, so go!”

Jaejin pushed Jonghun to sit back on the bench, where Hongki was sitting there all alone still staring at them. Jaejin walked out from there leaving his hyung. Again, the silence came, but Jonghun who break the silence this time.

“So, you knew?”

Hongki weakly nodded. He knew what he was referring to. Hongki really missed that voice. He really missed that face. He really missed his scent. He just missed all about the guy next to him. Hongki miss him so much that he can’t even utter a word to him now. Hongki felt like crying. Hongki need to tell him how much he had missed him. He really needs to tell him that. But his mouth seems can’t functioned well and Hongki just ended up being mute to all Jonghun’s questions.

“It have been long”

Jonghun said. His eyes wandered at the figure next to him. Hongki knew all along about his scheme, yet Hongki let him go.

“I guess, you just don’t want to talk?”

Again, Hongki kept silent.

“Maybe I should get going”

Jonghun was about to get up and then a pair of hands hold his hand, don’t want to let go.

“Wait....I...miss you”

The only words that Hongki manage to speak to Jonghun after 3 years. The only words that Hongki able to say that contained everything from past 3 years without Jonghun. The only words that seem can express his real feeling after 3 years. The only words.

“I miss you”

“I miss you too, princess”

Jonghun smiled. He really misses this person in front of him. He’s just too afraid to say anything. Because he was the one who left him. Jonghun was the one who craving Hongki’s love but ended with not knowing how to show his love back. Jonghun is the one to be blamed all these years. But Hongki not once blame Jonghun for it. Because Hongki loves this person in front of him and Jonghun loves this person holding his hand. They love each other and now they knew how to show their love.


“Princess!! Who is this person that waited for you in front of the college’s gate?”

Jonghun yelled from the front door calling for Hongki. They just got back from their classes and now they were about to have dinner at Hongki’s house when suddenly Jonghun nagging Hongki about a boy that kept following Hongki these few days.

“Stop yelling. I heard you”

Hongki said, stepping towards his bedroom.

“Tell me now. Who is this person who kept following you?”

“It’s nobody. It just someone who likes me, that’s all. But I turned him down, so he decided to follow me until I accept his feelings”

Hongki answered lazily. Hongki really felt tired after those complicated classes he had to attend to. Hongki really feel want to sleep and wake up later before dinner but Jonghun kept asking him more and more about the boy.

“What is his name?”

Jonghun sternly asked.

“Junhyung. Wait. Why you want to know his name?”

Hongki stared at Jonghun with his questioning gaze.

“So I can failed him if he is in my class”

Jonghun commented dryly. Milliseconds later Jonghun smirked, thinking every possible way to make the boy name Junhyung having a miserable college’s life.

“YAH! You are a lecturer! You can’t do that!”

“I will do anything to make sure you are mine and only LEE HONG KI!”

Jonghun said, pinning Hongki down on the bed.

“But I’m already yours?”

Hongki asked Jonghun, in shocked by sudden intimate movement from Jonghun. Their faces were merely inch away.

“Not until you gave me what I want”

Jonghun whispered to Hongki’s ear and snuggled Hongki’s neck. Hongki knew this was coming. Jonghun never quit being a playboy. And Hongki dislikes it. Not that he hated Jonghun or whatever, he just not ready for any intimate moments because they just got together after 3 years and Hongki felt a bit shy and scared thinking that Jonghun will do those kinds of thing people in love did. Well, it was actually not partially true, it was actually his brother’s doing that make Hongki felt a bit scared to do ‘it’ because Yunho has said that it will hurts  a lot, especially for the ‘uke’.

“I will tell Yunho about you being boyfriend”

Hongki warned Jonghun. Yunho have told Hongki to tell him if Jonghun try to pull up with something’s fishy behind Yunho’s backs. And Hongki knew that Jonghun is afraid of his brother because Yunho tend to give that feeling of superior when it matters about his brother.

“Yes, tell me that Hongki”

Yunho’s voices heard in Hongki’s bedroom. Startled, Jonghun get up from on top of Hongki and just stare at Yunho while try to forced a cheesy smile on his face.



YAY! This story is completed. THANK YOU for everyone who subscribed and commented to this story. I'm sorry if I did any mistake here and there. I hope you guys enjoyed my story as well I enjoyed writing it. I know I'm not that good in english and I'm sorry that you guys have to endured it. Anyway I'll be writing more of Jongki after this, just because I really likes to write about them and have fantasies about them.

So again, KAMSAMIDA !

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Comments (45)

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XiaUzuri #1
Chapter 11: i have just one word... wow :)
LeeHongki #2
Oooh was a wonderful story
I loved it very much
I will never forget
Thank you very much ^ ^
hehehee that was lovely <3 <3
hope to read more from you ^^
hope can read more story from you in the future dear author nim^^
eveitis #5
I'm really satisfied with the ending...
Everybody got their happiness..
Yunho is such a cutie...
Wish I had a brother like him... LOL
Nice job...
LeeHongki #6
Oooh Please, no no no
Let him know
Why does this-_-"fool
orchid #7
wa finally you re-up. Hope u update soon next chapter !!!
LeeHongki #8
Oh no please do not do
Please, be okay
Not died
Please do not
This is truly a very sad
an_lee #9
The princess finally admitted his love for tha prince.
Oh, Prince Jonghun,,, don't die.
Hhm for Yunho, get back to Joongie.
He ain't the 1 to blame.
Thx a lot for the writer. ^^