He was sitting right in front of you in maintaining 45 degrees and deep in thought with his pen and the right hand tapping it on the desk. His legs crossing each other making a x. Wearing only pants and undershirt make him look hot, hot, hot and that make up for the coldness you are feeling. Your eyes are glued to him, and you soon find yourself daze of this view that you mentally have to slap yourself. “Maknae, shouldn’t you be sleeping now? It is pretty late you know.” “Well… I couldn’t sleep.” You say, and it became quiet. Okay now or never, you encourage yourself. “Hyung, actually I want to ask, no, tell you something.” You stop. Taking one last breathe. “Kwon Ji Yong, I love you.” You could tell that he is shock. You just stand there, and feel pretty stupid for finally revealing your feelings. At least you deserve a response. You try to look everywhere, absolute everywhere but him, but you keep finding yourself watching him every 5 second. “Hyung?” You break the silence. “Sorry, maknae, but I’m tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” “Yeah, sure hyung, good night.” You say walking out the door, trying hard to keep the tears from falling down.

You know that Daesung-hyung is a light sleeper so you didn’t go to your room. Instead you lay on the couch, facedown to keep your sobbing and tearing noise at a minimum. Even though he didn’t say bluntly no, you know that you have been rejected. He doesn’t feel the same. Although you know this, you still hope. You hope because he hasn’t given you a proper answer yet. Slowly all your tears are dried and you find yourself unable to sleep. It is 4 am already. You have already cried for 2 damn hours already! Seung Ri, what are you doing to yourself. Shoot! You think. 8 am you guys are going to film a commercial. Damn 4 hours left. You are not even sleepy. Maybe you could “nearly fake sick”? Ji Yong would surely understand. But doesn’t that show that you’re weak. You don’t want to show him that you are weak. So you shut your eyes and tried to make some sleep of less than 4 hours. Tomorrow is going to be hell.

“Yah! Maknae! What are you doing out here?” Daesung screams. “Ah, morning hyung. I couldn’t sleep yesterday so I was out here. I know how light of a sleeper you are.” You try to sound light, but your mood is definitely not light. “’Oh, but you know I’m a fast sleeper too so it wouldn’t matter. Now look at you what time did you sleep. Your eyes are even smaller than mine and Taeyang-hyung’s.” God, I’m glad that my black circles hides that I’ve been crying. “Ehehe, you can tell that it was pretty late, right? But I just couldn’t sleep too much stuff to think about.” You try to laugh it off. “What is happening here?” Taeyang looks at you not waiting for an answer he continues. “What did you do to your eyes?” “Did you get operated over the night or something?” Seung Hyun adds. “Hey! Big Bang! What are you all doing get ready or we’ll be late!” Ji Yong yells from his room. “You sure you are okay, maknae?” Taeyang asks. You just nod and walk to your room.

You guys are on the way to the set, where you all are going to film. Everything is not normal. He doesn’t sit beside you in the van anymore. He chooses to sit beside Daesung-hyung. By your side is Taeyang-hyung trying to comfort you. At the set he chooses to have fanservice with the other hyungs in stead of you. During the breaks he doesn’t talk to you but everyone else. You are starting to feel sleepy, the lack of sleep has finally hit you, and you feel bad and really bad. You are walking back and forth to shake away the sleepiness and thinking that nothing could make this day damn worse. But you are wrong. When the director requests some fanservice between you and him, he refuses, saying that there are too much of those and that they should have some Seung Hyun-hyung and him fanservice. Little did he know how much that one comment breaks your heart. Anyway the day finally ends and once again you are letting out your stream of tears.

Need comments before posting xP