Hyukjae opened his eyes and found himself lying on his bed. He gazed at the clock, it was almost 2pm. He had to take Dongahe for his theraphy, so he just jumped out from the bed. But suddenly his head spinned. He just remembered that he just got 5 stiches on his forehead, just below the hair line. He remembered teukie hyung took him to the hospital last night after Donghae called him up. He remembered falling while dancing. He slipped and fell, hit his head. That was why he had those stiches.

After a long pause, he stood up and walk to the mirror beside his bed. He stood there, checking his forehead. Then checking his body, his arms, his shoulders to see if there were any bruises. He couldn't find anywhere. He looked content. So he went out to the living room.

"Yaaaaa! Donghae!" He shouted. No Answer. Where could he be? He thought. He went to checked on his room. He knocked. But no answered. He went inside. "Donghae! where are you?"

He couldn't find Donghae there. He went to the living room again, then checking the back yard. He opened the glass door and stepped outside. His eyes narrowed as the sunlight greet him. He took alook around, but still couldn't find him there either. So he went inside again and grabbed his mobile phone. Where could he be? Where could he go in his condition? Donghae, you're giving me headache..

He dialed donghae's number and waited.

"Yeobseo?"

"Yaaaa Donghae-ah! where are you?"

"On my way to the hospital.."

"What? How?"

"I took your car.."

"WHAT?" Hyukjae's eyes widen and he just ran accros the kitchen and straight to the garage.

"You just ran to the garage to check on your car, didn't you?"

Hyukjae could hear donghae chuckled. His car still parked in there, unmoved.

"Very funny, hae! Now would you please tell me where you are?" Hyukjae pouted. He got one hand on his hip and his foot stomping on the floor impatiently.

"I told you I'm on my way to the hospital."

'How? with who? did any of the member with you now?"

"Yeah, I asked Sungmin hyung to take me. I almost there. Don't worry."

"Why didn't you wake me up? I can take you." Hyukjae went back to the kitchen, and something catched his eyes. Right there on the kitchen table. A glass of strawberry milk and a plate of sandwich.

"No way. You were sleeping so soundly and you need to rest after what happen last night. How was your head?"

Hyukjae stared at the sandwich like it was the most beautiful sandwich ever, completely ignoring donghae's question.

"Hyuk? you still there?"

"Yeah.. yeah I'm here." Hyukjae snapped out. "My head is fine. Did you make me some sandwich?"

"Oh yeah. Have some before you go. I know you have schedule today."

"Uhm.. thanks. That's really nice." Hyukjae couldn't help himself but smiling so brightly. This was the first time Donghae ever gave him attention. Not like he never gave him any attention, but ever since that accident happen and with the things happening, donghae was barely pay any attention to him.

"Ok, have fun today. I'm hanging up."

"Ok, I'll pick you up later. Stay put and wait for me."

"Ok, bye.."

"Ok.. I..."

click....

"Love you.." Hyukjae pouted, stared at his mobile phone. Donghae just hang up on him before he even say the word he needed to say. But he never mind it, knowing how donghae was. Hyukjae took the stawberry milk and drink it when his mobile beeping.

From : Fishy

I love you too, monkey ^_^

Hyukjae grinned.

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Donghae did keep his promise. He went to his session regularly and never miss one. That little incident with hyukjae at the studio really opened up his mind. When all the time hyukjae spent almost his days and nights to take care of him, to make sure everything comfortable for him, he couldn't even return the smallest favor. Seeing hyukjae hurt himself like that and knowing he couldn't help him at all really freak him out. So he kept on exercising daily. Really pushing himself to the limit. 

Hyukjae really proud of him, but worry as well. He knew donghae would never stop until he gets what he wants and he was worry because somehow hyukjae felt he became obsessed and pushing himself too much. He didn't know if it was good thing or not. But all he did was trying to support donghae and watched his back from a far.

Well, he tried at least. Having a frantic schedule really made hyukjae hadly had time to spent with donghae. Opening concert was right on the corner, so he concentrate on members more and for the concert itself. So after picking him up from his session one day, he asked donghae to come to the rehearsal with him. That way he won't miss him too much because he would be able to see him, be with him.

Donghae was thrill when hyukjae asked him to go. He missed that a lot. Rehearsing. He sat in one corner of the stage and watching them rehearsing. He laughed on every mistakes the members were making, and giving his thumbs up on every good performance. The members kept asking for his oppinion on everything, the dance, the choreo, and gladly donghae will gave his best to hosnestly answered those questions.

Hyukjae observed him quietly. It was great to see him smile and laugh like that. But then something caught Hyukjae attention when he saw his eyes. Donghae has the most honest eyes, he would say. Those eyes never lies. They will tell you exactly how the owner felt. And Hyukjae could see that he was sad. Those eyes told him. His lips surely smile and laugh, but those eyes were sad. 

Leeteuk tapped him on his shoulders. Hyukjae looked at him straight in his eyes. And  then he nodded. So leeteuk went to find Donghae. He sat with him, talked to him. Hyukjae stood watching them from a far. He knew what Leeteuk hyung was going to say to donghae. He told him beforehand and ask for his oppinion. A much as he againsted the idea, it was not his bussines to interfere. The company wanted donghae to perform at the opening concert. Hyukjae was concerned about his mental and physical condition. Hae hadn't make any public apperance ever since the accident. Returning to the stage must be a great deal to him.

But honestly, Hyukjae didn't know how Donghae would react, but seeing Donghae was so quiet on the way home made him realize that this was bothering him so much. He didn't say anything since they left the studio, he just sit still on the passanger seat and wondered off. He didn't even once look at Hyukjae.

"So what did you say to Leeteuk hyung?" Hyukjae asked on their way back home.

"I said yes." Donghae answered.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"Just for a few songs. No Physical. Just sit and sing." Donghae answered. "What choice do I have anyway.."

"Um.. what do you mean?" Hyukjae muttered, confused with the last sentance. 

"You know exactly what I mean." Donghae answered coldly.

"Is there something's wrong?" Hyukjae asked. " You sounded angry with me.."

Donghae took a glance at Hyukjae before staring back at the window, watching city light passing them by. "I know they only want me to perform to see if they still want me on SJ or not."

"Who said that?" Hyukjae frowned. "Leeteuk hyung?"

"Ogh come on, Hyuk. When are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me that the company want me out?" Donghae stared at Hyukjae. He didn't dare to look at Hae, He looked straight ahead on the highway. He knew!

"When are you going to tell me that?' Donghae glared at hyukjae. "Since when did you know?"

"You were not in a good condition back then, Hae. What do you want me to say?" Hyukjae said. He remembered perfectly when Leeteuk told him about this. Donghae was still in that state.

"That was months ago. Do I look like in a bad one right now? cause you surely still didn't think I'm concious enough to tell me the news." Donghae glared at Hyukjae.

"Donghae, I'm sorry, alright?" Hyukjae pleaded." I thought they drop this once they knew you were awake, that you were getting better."

"Oh please hyuk, this is the same company that force hankyung hyung and siwon to perform even they knew they were sick." Donghae said coldly. "You should say something, so I can work things out."

"Like what? forcing yourself more than you already did?" Hyukjae glared back at Donghae. "What are you? a robot?"

"You know I'm not perfect in everything." Donghae said softly, keeping his voice down. "I can't sing gracefully like Yesung hyung or powerful like kyuhyun. I can't dance perfectly like you or like shindong hyung. I'm just... "

"Don't say that." Hyukjae tried to find donghae's hand. But he shoved it away gently. "We complement each other, remember?"

Donghae didn't say a word. So many things going on in his mind right now. He had no energy to have an argument with hyukjae.  All he knew was he needed to get ready within a month before the concert start, or he would loose everything. His dream, his dad's dream. Everything.

The silent grew thick between them. Even when they reached home. Donghae went straight to his room and said nothing. leaving Hyukjae with the guilty feeling. The only reason Hyukjae didn't tell him was to protect his feeling. Well, He was wrong obviously.

The next morning, he couldn't find Donghae. and so the next day, and the day after. and at night, either hyukjae coming home to an exhausted sleeping donghae or coming home to no donghae at all. He hardly ever see him and Hyukjae started to miss him so much. He  tried to text and call him up but guess donghae was still mad cause he never return any of his text nor his phone call. So Hyukjae promised himself that he would face donghae and settle whatever it was between them. Lucky for him, he met him before he left that morning.

"Hae, can we talk?"

Donghae took a glance at hyukjae and concentrating on his shoes.

"I hardly ever see you around. How's everything?"

"Theraphy session in the morning, and singing practice right after."

"All day and night? everyday?"

"In my position, I don't think I have a choice." Donghae got up, grab his backpack and ready to leave.

"Wait!" Hyukjae held on donghae's backpack. He grabbed it too hard that donghae lost the hold of it. It fell down and everything inside just crumbled on the floor.

"Oh please..!" Donghae groaned. He knelt down and gather everything. Except for one, because hyukjae took it first.

"What is this?" Hyukjae stared at him with a stern look. There was a small bottle with lots of pills in it. He read the label fast and he saw oxicodone was written there.

"Give me that." Donghae tried to grab it back, but hyukjae was faster.

"Since when did you take these?" Hyukjae asked. "Tell me that this is prescribed."

"None of your business." Donghae muttered and this time he won. He put the bottle back in to his backpack."Yes, it's prescribed, call my doctor if you want to check it out. Anything else?"

Hyukjae staggering back a bit. Donghae never spoke like that to him before. His voice tone was harsh and unfriendly. He was about to confront him but suddenly Siwon appreared at the door. Seem like he was the one who would take donghae to his session. He said hi and before he could manage to say something else, donghae just dragged him away, leaving hyukjae with his thought.

He knew Donghae was in pain, so probably those pain killer was prescribed by his doctor. But somehow hyukjae felt somethings was not right. He didn't know what or why, but he felt something was just not right. It felt like losing him all over again. 

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