Chanyeol had never expected in a million years that his junior year would turn out this way.
At the beginning of the year, when Baekhyun first had his eye on Kim Jonghyun (or as Chanyeol secretly referred to him as, The Midget), he never would have thought that just months down the line, Baekhyun would be in love with the guy.
There was something different about the way Baekhyun acted around Jonghyun, that’s how Chanyeol could tell. After watching Baekhyun’s countless boyfriends come and go throughout high school, he finally thought he had discovered Baekhyun’s pattern. But then stupid Jonghyun came and messed that all up.
He messed everything up.
Chanyeol really hadn’t been planning on confessing to Baekhyun or anything… of course not. He’d sooner die than be rejected by the one person he had ever feelings for. He knew Baekhyun wouldn’t ever feel that way for someone as weird as himself, but he also knew that Baekhyun loved him as his best friend, and that was a position Chanyeol would never give up. Chanyeol could live with sitting by himself, hopelessly in love with the short, oblivious boy, as long as no one else came in and took him away.
Which, as it was quite obvious, was Kim Jonghyun’s intention entirely.
Chanyeol never worried about Baekhyun’s other boyfriends. Mostly because they were idiots and Baekhyun never kept them around very long anyways. But Baekhyun acted totally different when he was around Jonghyun, all shy and awkward and it sort of made him sick to see Baekhyun fawning over someone like that. And that’s how he knew… that Baekhyun loved him.
And that’s what made him change his mind. Every day that went by made it painfully obvious that Baekhyun was falling harder and harder for the stupid shorty. Chanyeol resolved to himself that he would tell his friend how he felt, with the delusional hope hanging over his heart that it would somehow sway Baekhyun away from Jonghyun and closer to him.
Baekhyun had no idea, how much Chanyeol had done for him. And he wasn’t one to shove something like that into anyone’s face. But he just wanted his friend to… realize.
He could’ve been on the fast track for a scholarship to the best science university in all of Korea. All of his middle school teachers had been routing for him. Supposedly, he was a shoe-in for Seoul Science High School, whose selection process was terrifying and rigorous. And Chanyeol had wanted to go. He actually dreamt of it.
But then he had to go and fall in love with stupid Byun Baekhyun in their last year of middle school. Byun Baekhyun, who had his heart set on one of the better known art high schools in the city, when just the year before he had told Chanyeol that he wanted to go to Seoul Science High School as well.
Chanyeol had it all planned out. He would go through high school with his best friend by his side, constantly impressing him with his scientific genius. Then, they would get into the best university ever and spend late nights in the dorm “studying”, but actually cuddling on the bed with their legs intertwined and listening to Baekhyun’s weird music and it just all seemed soperfect to the fourteen-year-old boy.
But then Baekhyun changed his mind and well… that was never a part of his plan. Chanyeol had never been so conflicted in his life. Baekhyun practically had one foot in the door of that stupid art school, and here he was, getting pestered from all directions about his future in science.
Park Chanyeol had no business in an art high school. But Baekhyun was there, and being separated from his best friend was something he just couldn’t deal with.
Chanyeol remembers crying… a lot. The day he sent his letter to Seoul Science, telling them he wouldn’t be attending, he sobbed on his bedroom floor for hours, because Seoul Science was his future. His old science teacher, Mr. Hong, was outraged, and thinking of his disappointed face only made Chanyeol cry harder.
But he wanted to be with Baekhyun. And that thought was the only thing that managed to make him stop crying.
Their school’s science program was okay, though. Chanyeol knew he could probably still get into a pretty good university. Definitely not the best, but Chanyeol always tried to focus on the positive. He would get into a good science program… everything would be okay.
He didn’t really like to think like that, but the fact that Baekyun never realized how much Chanyeol suffered for his sake kind of upset him.
Actually, it really upset him.
For as long as he had known him, Chanyeol always bent over backwards to make Baekhyun happy. He really liked playing basketball in middle school, but it was more than obvious that Baekhyun didn’t like how much of his time it took up. But he’d rather lose some stupid hobby than lose his best friend. Chanyeol was terrified that Baekhyun would suddenly decide he didn’t want to be his friend anymore.
So it only made sense that he would lose it. He didn’t mean to snap at Baekhyun that day in front of the library, but whenever Chanyeol was by himself, he always thought way too much. And the thought that he had spent almost half his life trying to please Byun Baekhyun, only to have him fall for someone else in return, made him lose his mind.
A few Baekhyun-less days were what he needed. After his talk with Kai, he only became more confident in his statement that Jonghyun would be gone in a few weeks time. And he was starting to think he was right. After he couldn’t take the loneliness any longer and apologized to Baekhyun, he realized that he didn’t see any signs of Jonghyun anywhere. And Baekhyun had looked extra put out that morning too. And although he didn’t want to see his friend upset, the fact that Baekhyun might have actually finally ditched Kim Jonghyun made his heart soar.
Things were actually going back to normal, and Chanyeol couldn’t have been any happier. They only stayed normal for a little while though, because not long after that, Baekhyun threw what might’ve been the biggest curveball in Chanyeol’s life.
Looking back on the day, he felt really stupid. Crammed into a closet with his best friend talking all softly, looking all perfect, saying things like ‘You mean a lot to me’… what was he supposed to think? It was probably just his delusional, lovesick mind but… he had really thought Baekhyun was going to confess to him.
But he didn’t… and what he did say… well, Chanyeol would have never forseen that in a million trillion years.
It would’ve been a really big lie to say that he’d never thought about it, but to be outright asked to sleep with your best friend that you’ve been hopelessly in love with for years? And… why was Baekhyun even asking him? He didn’t know. He didn’t even know why he agreed. He honestly… didn’t know anything. Everything had happened so fast and he wanted to do this with Baekhyun… really really wanted to. Even if he wasn’t sure as to what his friend’s motive was, he decided… if he couldn’t get Baekhyun to love him on his own terms, he would make him love him.
He did everything he could possibly do to make sure Baekhyun’s first time was no less than perfect. He didn’t even sleep the night before. It had to be perfect. It just… had to.
That was the only thought he had as he laid above his best friend, gasping and panting in his bedroom. He did everything with textbook precision, scared of messing up, and felt the world shift beneath his feet when Baekhyun kissed him. It was so awkward but it was literally the most wonderful moment of Chanyeol’s life so he couldn’t bring himself to care that it wasn’t as perfect for Baekhyun as he had hoped.
It was perfect for him, though. More than perfect. He was already half way to heaven when he heard his best friend cry out the words he’d only wanted to hear for he can’t even remember how long. When Baekhyun breathlessly muttered out his ‘I love you’, he felt his heart zip around every part of his body. He wanted to cry, and he could have sworn he felt the tears start to build up, but everything from that moment on was a blur. He remembered saying ‘I love you too’ and it his mind it was so clear, but in hindsight, he was almost positive he had been mumbling into Baekhyun’s neck as he poured his heart out.
He hoped Baekhyun had heard him. He thought he did, but as the afternoon went on, he began to doubt himself more and more, his head playing out all the worst case scenarios. So with Baekhyun firmly tucked up against his side asleep, he leaned in close and whispered ‘I love you’ over and over again, just in case he hadn’t gotten his message across the first time.
so i feel like this is all over the place but i'm glad i finally got it out.
and omg rereading it WAE IS IT SO SHORT
i know i said i'd update last night and i couldn't and i feel so bad ;___; sorry everyone~
but it's here now and this is my surprise chapter that's not actually really a surprise but yay! so many people were like 'CHANNIE'S POV' and i didn't want to say anything because i knew it was cooominggg and omg you guys are a bunch of nancy drew's.
so this ties up some loose ends and i really like when that happens. yay. progress. also, some of the things from this chapter were some of the first things i wrote when i was outlining the story. that's fun right? you don't care. so.
ALSO. OMG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO SUBBED TO THE KAISOO. IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME GUYS. REALLY. ありがとうごうざいます！！〜
omg you have me typing in japanese. i only do that when i'm really excited haha
i can't say all that much cause my head huuurts and i just wanna go to bed. i have one more exam until i'm done with my first year of university and then it's SUMMMERRR TIMMEEE. 夏休み〜〜〜〜〜わあああああああああ！
omg sorry. got excited again.
as always. i love you all. thank you to everyone who has subscribed, commented, oh! and followed me on tumblr. as you guys can tell, i'm ten times more of a spazz there than here~ yet you love me anyways. ;__; (omg and all the comments that were like 'i missed youuu' omg guys really i'm crying over here thank you)
next chapter might be wednesday~ fingers crossed! goodnight and i hope you enjoy~