My everything

[Donghae's Pov:]

"I’m sorry…but…who are you?"

The moment those words came out from his mouth, I felt the moisture of tears on my cheeks

and felt the pain of my heart in my chest. I felt broken.

Even if he's the one lying onto that hospital bed, I felt like as if I’m the one who is weak.

Pulling back, I shake him lightly until he looks at me like an innocent kid.
"Yah! Lee Hyukjae! Don’t play jokes."

I tried to smile to hide the pain.

I wanted myself to believe that this isn’t true.

He must be joking, or this was just a bad dream,

or anything that'll make this whole thing not real. This can’t be real.

"I’m sorry but I really don’t know you…" He insisted.

It hurts to hear him say this once again. Suddenly a woman entered the room and hugged Hyukjae.

"Are you ok?! I’m so worried."

The girl cried, but slowly, Hyukjae wrapped his arms around the girl.

"Hyejin. I’m sorry to make you worry." Hyukjae said as he hugged the girl tighter.

It's like deepening a blade in my chest, seeing him w/ that girl.

That girl who's known as his ex.

How could this be happening?

Why did he recognize her? Why didn’t he recognize me? Why?!!

"LEE HYUKJAE! WAE?!" I shouted angrily after wiping the tears on my cheeks.

I wanted him to realize my worth. I wanted him to remember what I am to hm. But why can’t he?

This can’t be…

I ran outside that room. I can’t stand the scene. I just can’t.

He can’t remember me. But I can’t blame him, can I? No. This was my entire fault.

I stopped when I reached a cafeteria near our school. I entered & sat at the most memorable place.

This was the place where I first met him. My best friend.

-FLASHBACK-

"Thank you for helping me w/ Hyejin, Hyukjae!"
I smiled at him and he tapped my back.

"No problem, Hae. That's what friends are for, right?"

Yeah, we were bestfriends.

'Best friends' that is what we call each other.

We've been best friends since elementary days when my dad & I eat our favorite sandwich made by Hyukjae's mom,

the owner of the said cafeteria.

When my father died, Hyukjae stayed beside me.

When I felt like there was a giant hole in my heart where my father used to stand,

like no one & nothing was going to be able to fill it, I felt the touch on my shoulder.

It was Hyukjae, my best friend who hugged me, wrapped me firmly in his arms, letting me cry.

..It was him.

He gave me a puppy and named it 'EunHae.'

he said that this puppy can’t replace my dad, but it can make me fill loved when cuddling this animal.

"What? You're giving Hyejin up? Wae?" Hyukjae asked raising his eyebrow.
Hyukjae was such a great man. And he doesn’t even know how much.

Maybe that's why Hyejin liked hm. I felt like it’s better to give her up and gave her to my best friend since I loved them both.

This was better. They'll be the best pair ever. It took them 2 weeks to begin dating.

And after two months, they became an official couple. I’m happy for them.

..I thought.

But since then, I tried to avoid seeing them together.

I thought this was normal since i courted Hyejin first, but.. I realized I was wrong.

One day, after the class, in a vacant room, i was surprised when Hyukjae appeared in front of me,

quickly leaned forward and pinning me startled against the wall.

"H…Hyukjae…" I said confused.

"Donghae-ah~ Tell me..." He whispered. "Tell me, your feelings..."

"What? W...What are you…"

"Tell me!! Do you like me??!" he shouted as I felt my knees weaken.

"O...of course I do. You're my best friend." I forced myself to smile but he help my shoulder tighter.

"You know what I mean, Hae...just tell me…" He pleaded, looking in my eyes.

"No… It's not what you think." I finally said, avoiding his eyes.

"Hyukjae-ah, babo yah? Why would I like you like what you think? We're just friends. So let me go before I’ll forget that we're even friends."

…And he released me slowly.

Turned around trying to hide his face but I knew it. I can feel the pain in his heart, just like d pain I’m feeling.

"I broke up w/ Hyejin…" He said before he left me alone in that room.

The pain in my heart was there.

It’s like I’ve lost the strength of my body and knelt down.

Hot tears flow on my cheeks. I knew how much I’ve hurt him.

But this was all I can do.

..Because I’m a coward.

Two years passed, I’ve never seen him since that day.

I can’t even ask his mom in d cafeteria. I’m scared that I might follow where he was. So i just stayed. This was way better.

It was winter when EunHae, my puppy died.

I cried really hard not only because of d puppy, but also because I remember the pers0n who gave me this pet.

He's gone. So as that person.

I suddenly felt warm hands touched my shoulder and that familiar voice that called my name.

"Don’t cry, hae."

I turned my head to look who was it, and surprised to see my best friend Hyukjae. He's back.

I hugged him firmly, and he hugged me back my hair.

"I missed you~"

We were both lying in my bed; I was resting my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat like it was the best music I’ve heard.

"Hyukjae-ah~ I’m sorry..." I murmured. "I’m sorry for what happened to EunHae.. I’m really--"
He suddenly grabbed my hand and looked at my fingers.

"It's okay. Because I love you…" he said.

"Thank you, Hyukjae…" was the only words I can reply.

But I knew how I feel. This was the best day ever like I don’t want this to end.

******

"He's mine!" Hyejin insisted one time when he cornered me at a shortcut.

"You must be kidding; he likes me, and not you!"

"Listen to me, Hyejin--" I wanted to explain how much I liked Hyukjae too,

but i was surprised when she suddenly grabbed me on my neck and kissed me.

What was she thinking? She likes Hyukjae. Why is she kissing me?

She smirked devilishly as she released me. I heard footsteps from my back so I turned around and saw someone.

"H…hyukjae..."

I saw him crying before he turned and left me. It's too late. He saw us. Hyukjae…
He ran really fast and all I can do was to follow him, pleading for him to stop. But he didn’t.
I didn’t expect that a car would make him stop as he was hit by one, making him stumble on the street, full of blood.

-End of Flashback-

This was my entire fault.

If only I told him how much he really means to me.

Maybe he wouldn’t doubt. He’ll trust me. But it’s too late.

I cried really hard while going back to the hospital.

I sat at a bench groping for a hanky that was on my pocket but I realized I’ve lost it.

Maybe I dropped it when I was running outside.

"Excuse me" a voice on my back said. A very familiar voice.

I turned around and saw him.

Hyukjae who was wearing hospital clothes and was carrying my hanky on his right hand.

"I thought this was yours. Here." he said and handed me the hanky.

He turned around and moved 3 steps before he stopped and faced me again.