As I hear my alarm go off the next morning I push myself off of the mattress, lazily, not wanting to get up already. It was 5 am, and I needed the time in the morning. The blond next to me is still sleeping , he always has a deep sleep and doesn’t hear my alarm anymore and if he would wake up, I always would tell him to go back to sleep again.

The first thing I do is going to the bathroom, washing up and changing into fresh clothes. It’s 5:40 am around the time I finish and start to make breakfast for us both. I usually prepare a wide range from eggs and bacon to pancakes, it is already a routine to do that. And around 6:30 – whenever I finish – I go back into the bedroom and I either see my fiancé lying there awake or still asleep. This time he was still asleep and usually I wake him up by softly kissing him awake.

I receive a smile and a sleepily hum as he turns to lie on his back and looks up at me. “Good Morning, Kikwang.” His voice is hoarse and his hair tousled in all directions. I chuckle at that sight and straighten up again. “I made breakfast, it’s in the kitchen…and I have to leave in a bit, I’ll be back tonight.” I say and blow him a kiss and I receive the same expression every day. First he blinks, confused and then his eyes widen and he looks up at me with that puppy-eyed look, begging for me to stay just one day. I smile and shake my head faintly. “I can’t, Seobie. I have to work.” I tell him and leave.

I have two jobs. Unfortunately not the ones I want to have, after I graduated and got my diploma – it was mostly good – I went to a University to study law. This is where I met Yoseob who was an education major and we shared the same room. I remember how he always told me he wanted to work in kindergarten. I on the other hand always wanted to become a lawyer, but for now I’m nowhere near being lawyer. In the morning until around 12 pm I am working as a craftsman in a car repair shop. After that I immediately have to go to an attorneys’ office and there I don’t even have to do much, I’m like the secretary for coffee and that kind of stuff. And that’s probably the closest how I’ll get to a lawyer’s office, not even having my own.

 To keep the living standard Yoseob and me have I have to take these jobs. On weekends Yoseob gets my undivided attention and I spend all day with him. Yoseob doesn’t work; rather I don’t want him to work. Or to be completely honest, he can’t. His condition doesn’t allow him to.

With a heavy sigh I try to push the memories, which seem like nightmares – only the difference is that I am awake right now- , away. I still remember everything clearly and in detail. I shake my head mirthlessly. Not now, I think.

Like I said, Yoseob and I met in University. We were sharing a room and in the first weeks we were completely ignoring each other. I thought he was a snob who would be arrogant and thought he’d be better than anyone else. He said he thought I would be the boring, loser type. We noticed quickly that our first impressions were wrong. I don’t really quite remember anymore how we started talking but I guess it was in one of the nights where we were both in our student room that we had to share.

He was lying in his bed and made the first move of breaking the ice – I guess because he was bored and throwing something I can’t remember anymore into the air the whole time before catching it again and again and again. And then he started to talk, about random stuff. I was quite confused back then at this action but I didn’t mind much.

We started to hang out very often since then and I learned that he was actually a wonderful guy and nothing like I thought he would be.  I fell in love with the person I first never intended to be friends with. He was a carefree person, but still had his problems with his family. A few nights in a month he would come to me, crying and pouring his heart out and I would hug him close to my chest and shush him, tell him that everything will be eventually alright.

As the time passed my love for the blondyoung man grew bigger and bigger until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was when university was over. We shared an apartment that time, because – well, that’s what best friends do. But I didn’t want to just be his best friend, I wanted more. One night I prepared candles lit up everywhere in the apartment. Adding to that I made dinner; Candlelight dinner- he always thought that was the most romantic thing he could imagine to have with a lover. This was the night I told him that I loved him, that I need him and that he means more than anyone and anything in the world to me.

I remember how he flashed a sheepish smile as I said it and that he didn’t know I would feel the same way as he did. My feelings overwhelmed me as an “I love you” passed his lips and I pulled him close to kiss him, to hug him and to never let him go again.

ahhh i'm sorry not much happening yet but with the next chapter =w= fo' sho'!