You tousle your damp hair as you use the towel to pat it dry, leaving the bathroom with a comfortable oversized hoodie and sweatpants that Jason lent you. As expected, his apartment was very spacious and beautiful. You walk by a glass table, looking at the intricate frames that held many pictures, some you can recognize as Jason, and some that you couldn’t. You look at a photo of Jason at his graduation, beside him was a woman in her early 20’s smiling brightly.

               “So beautiful…” You breath, then feeling a presence beside you.

               “I know, most beautiful woman I know.” Jason whispers, “My noona.”

               “Noona?” You turn your head towards him.

               “It means…older sister in Korean.” He gives you a small smile, allowing you to nod your head in comprehension. “She understands me more than anymore, even my parents.”

               “The both of you must share a very good relationship then?” You smile.

               Jason looks at you for a moment then nods his head.

               “Very.”

               “Is she in Korea right now?” You ask, eyes following the other pictures of Jason’s childhood.

               You suddenly feel no movement, no heartbeat, no presence beside you.

               “She’s gone.”

               You don’t know how to react, you never experienced the loss of a loved one.

               “I’m sorry to hear that.” You whisper, patting on his shoulder lightly, making an attempt to comfort him.

               “It’s okay. She left me so I enjoy her share of life as well. It’s as if…she’s right here with me.” Jason looks at you and smiles, his finger tapping to his chest to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

               “You know, I think that she’s lucky to have you as a brother, and you’re lucky to have her as a sister.”

               “Thank you.” You and Jason lock gaze, his eyes look deep into yours, making you feel as if there is nothing to hide when you’re in front of him. Jason starts to lean in closer, and you respond by slightly leaning backwards.  “S-sorry.” Jason stutters, returning back to his normal state, “I’ll go take a shower now, please make yourself at home.” His cheeks flush a shade of pink as he quickly turns into the bathroom.

               You sit on the white leather sofa in the living room, observing your surroundings. Jason’s home was beautiful but it lacked warmth. Not thinking anymore, you reach for the remote control and pressed the red button. The screen in front of you flashes on, a game of soccer starts to play. You start to aimlessly switch the channels, eyes boring to the screen.

               You stop when you recognize the channel logo on the right hand corner, it was the Hunan Broadcasting Company. Nostalgia runs through you as you remember that you used to frequently anticipate for EXO-M variety shows that broadcasted on here.

               “Wait, isn’t that Luhan gege?” You whisper, narrowing your eyes to make sure. Your mouth gapes open as you realize that the TV was showing an interview of EXO-M. The camera follows to every member who speaks, which is currently Kris.

               “Kris gege got even better looking! And I thought it was impossible.” You laugh quietly to yourself, happy to see the members that you were close with.

               The smile on your face disappears when the camera moves to Yixing, looking exhausted yet still putting on a smile. Pain hits you like needles, feelings rushing back inside of you, sweeping your stability away. Your eye starts to wet as the small dimple on his cheek starts to appear while he talks. Nothing he said was going inside your head, all you could think of is how much you miss him and that tender smile of his. Tears uncontrollably spill and taint your fresh washed face.

               You wake up, finding yourself lying on the sofa, realizing that you fell asleep after seeing Yixing’s appearance on TV. Your fingers softly touch your eyes, which were puffy from the crying.

               “You’re awake.” A soft voice speaks. You look up and see Jason carrying a cup of hot chocolate, handing it to you.

               “Thank you.” You force a smile and take a sip, “Sorry about that.”

               “Don’t worry.” Jason sits beside you, “You…were crying in your sleep. Are you okay?” He whispers.

               “Yeah…there was this tear-jerking romance playing on TV.” You laugh, lying casually, “I’m a er for those.” Jason looks at you, not believing your excuse but does not ask any further questions.

               “________, can I tell you something?”

               You turn and look at Jason, who was staring into your black twinkling orbs.

               “Y-yeah?” You stutter.

               “I like you.” Jason whispers, slurring his words gently.

               You freeze for a moment. His expression was so sincere and his eyes was overflowing with love and affection. Your heart wavers, but you couldn’t say yes to him. You couldn’t be so selfish and promise to love another man when you are sitting here thinking of nobody but Zhang Yixing.

               “J-Jason…” You pause and take a deep breath, “I’m sorry. I-I can’t return your feelings, not at the moment.” You look down, afraid to see the man’s disappointed expression. Instead, you feel someone smoothing your hair. You look up and see Jason smiling at you.

               “I know, I just wanted to let you know that there’s someone here who cares for you. I’ll be here whenever you need me.” Jason pulls you in his embrace, and you respond by hugging him back.

               “Thank you. Thank you for being there for me.” Your voice muffles as you speak into his soft cotton tee.