Chapter 7

Your Name

 

Almost two months later, here I am with a new chapter. Sorry for the looooong wait... Work, social life, Tumblr and writer's block kept me from updating fast. I hope this is not too painful to read... 

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Taemin still couldn’t put his finger on it. He knew something was wrong with their leader, but he didn’t know what. He had tried to talk alone with Jinki, but every time, the older one would just find a way to get out of it. The maknae had even asked the other members, but none of them seemed to know what was going on. Taemin was really getting worried. He could clearly see that Jinki was giving them fake smiles to hide the fact that he was hurting inside. He couldn’t bear to see the one that used to guide them so well seem so lost. He had to talk to him again.

 

The maknae knew that Jinki was always the first one to wake up to be able to spend some time alone in the kitchen as he drank a cup of tea, so one morning he woke up earlier just to be able to talk to him. When he entered the kitchen, the older one immediately turned around, surprised.

 

“What are you doing here?” Jinki asked.

 

“I couldn’t sleep”, the younger one lied.

 

“Oh… Do you want some tea? ” He rapidly offered.

 

“No, thank you.”

 

They both stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Jinki wasn’t used to have company so early in the morning and Taemin was trying to find a way to get his friend to open up.

 

“So… ”Taemin started. “What were you thinking right before I came in? ” He asked swiftly.

 

“Um… you know… just about the stuff we have to do. We’ve still got a lot of concerts to do for the Japanese tour.”

 

Taemin sighed.

 

“I’m really exhausted. I hope we get a break after that tour ends.”

 

“I think we’ll have to prepare for our fall comeback right after.”

 

“Why??? We can wait a few more months for that. There’s no rush!”

 

“I agree, but we can’t do anything about it. It’s not our decision”, Jinki reminded the maknae.

 

“I know but –” Taemin stopped himself, remembering that he was not here to talk about his frustrations. He needed to focus. “You’re right”, he said putting an end to that conversation.

 

They plunged right back in an awkward silence. After a moment of deep reflection, Taemin knew he wouldn’t find a subtle way to get the truth from Jinki.

 

“Okay, I’ll be honest”, the younger one said. “I woke up early just because I want you to tell me what’s going on.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, the leader replied quite convincingly.

 

“I’ve known you for so many years now that I can tell when you’re faking happiness.”

 

“I admit that I may have acted differently lately, but that’s just because I’ve been a little more tired than usual.”

 

“Stop lying!” Taemin exclaimed. “Maybe you can fool the others, but you can’t fool me. I’m closer to you than any of them!”

 

“Well, maybe I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t have to---”  Jinki interrupted himself. He stopped looking at Taemin and just stared into his cup of tea.

 

Taemin who was facing to the other side, turned around to see why his friend had looked away and he just saw Minho standing there. The tall member went straight to the fridge and poured himself a glass of milk. When he turned back, Minho glanced at their leader and Taemin saw something he had not noticed before. Minho had just looked at Jinki with such hatred that the maknae had felt chills go down his spine. He was just hit with a sudden understanding. He had just realized that those two didn’t really talk anymore. He still had a look of shock on his face when Minho left the kitchen.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me???”  Taemin asked.

 

“Tell you what?”  Jinki asked back, confused.

 

“That you had a fight with Minho!!!”  He said in a loud tone.

 

Jinki felt his hands getting sweaty.

 

“We didn’t!”  He said and immediately after, he walked out of the kitchen.

 

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Seung Hyun woke up to a terrible headache. He moaned in pain and made a huge effort to get out of bed. As his foot touched the ground, he heard a bottle roll under the bed. It must’ve been the bottle of wine he had drunk last night. He finally got up and went straight to the bathroom to do his morning routine. A few minutes later, he opened the door and saw Taeyang and Seung Ri at the other end of the hallway. He was going to call them out, but he quickly saw that they seemed to be talking about something serious. He subtly pushed the door towards him but left it opened a little so that he could still hear them.

 

“Ri, I’m very worried”, Taeyang whispered.

 

“I know. We all are, but we can’t say anything.”  

 

“No, we should say something. I don’t care if he gets mad!”  

 

Seung Ri sighed.

 

“You’re right. We can’t let him self-destruct like that…”

 

“Did you see how many bottles there is lying on his floor???”  Taeyang pointed out. “He’s been drinking way too much these past few weeks. Just yesterday, he couldn’t even concentrate properly when they were recording his rap. He had to start again so many times and he didn’t even get it right!”

 

“Yeah, it was painful to watch…”

 

“Why is he acting this way?”  

 

“I don’t know. I guess he’s depressed or something.”

 

“I can understand that, but something must be really wrong if he can’t even enjoy a recording session.”

 

“Well, I think we should---”

 

Seung Hyun chose that moment to step out of his room so that they could see him. He had heard everything they had said even though they had tried to keep their voices low.

 

They both turned around when they heard the door opening. They stared blankly at their friend, a little panicked.

 

“Hey, guys!”  The rapper said smiling, even though he was boiling of rage inside.

 

“Heeey”, they both replied at the same time, awkwardly.

 

“Why are you both standing in the middle of the hallway? Let’s go eat some breakfast”, Seung Hyun said in a cheesy tone.

 

He walked towards the stairs as the other two looked at each other, confused.

 

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Taemin had been watching Onew and Minho all day. He was now totally sure that they had a fight. Every time they were all together, both of them never talked directly to one another, which he couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed before. He knew Onew would never tell him what happened, so his only option was to get Minho to talk. He found his friend in the living room watching tv and sat next to him.

 

“Hey, what’s up?”  the maknae asked, a little nervous.

 

Minho glared at him and put his eyes right back on the screen. Taemin was taken aback.

 

“What’s your problem?”  

 

“My problem is that I’m trying to watch a show and you’re talking.”

 

“I’m sorry, but we need to talk”, Taemin said seriously as he took the remote out of Minho’s hand. He turned off the tv and stared right into the older one’s eyes. “First of all, I think it’s safe to say that we are good friends and as someone who cares about you, I would really like to know what’s going on with you.”  

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he replied dryly.

 

Taemin let out a sigh.

 

“I know you’re mad at Jinki and I need to know why!”  the maknae said, frustrated.

 

 “I don’t want to talk about him.”  

 

“What? Why? What has he ever done to you? He’s the nicest person in the world!”

 

“He’s not a good leader. He almost hurt our image!”  

 

“What?”  Taemin was completely confused.

 

Minho brought himself closer to the younger one.

 

“He was seeing Seung Hyun”, he whispered.

 

“I know. They seemed to get along well”, Taemin pointed out casually.

 

“No! I mean that I saw them kissing! They were together!”  He exclaimed with a face of disdain.

 

Taemin was in utter shock.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, I swear. He didn’t deny it.”

 

“But… what’s the problem?”  

 

Minho looked back at the maknae with disbelief.

 

“The problem is that he’s gay!”

 

“Oh my god…”  Taemin couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “You’re not talking to Jinki because he’s gay??”  He yelled, angry.

 

“Yes. I told him that it was disgusting”, Minho added.

 

“You can’t be serious… How could you tell him something like that??? He can be with whoever he wants to!”

 

“What? Am I the only sane one in this group?” Minho asked in shock.

 

“You’re a jerk! I can’t believe this…”  Taemin stood up, burying his face in his hands.

 

“And I can’t believe you don’t agree with me! If the press ever finds out about it, we could be in deep ”, the older one explained.

 

“I’m sure Jinki’s being careful and even if they find out, we’re family. We’ll protect one another!”  

 

Minho looked to the ground, a little ashamed. Taemin was right; they were family.

 

“Now excuse me, but I have to go find Jinki”, the maknae said coldly. “I hope you realize that you’re wrong”, he added before walking away.

 

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Ji Yong was pacing in front of Seung Hyun’s room, thinking about what Seung Ri had just told him. He was on the verge of breaking down, but he knew he had to stay strong for his friend because his heart was broken too. He finally found the courage to knock on the door. He heard a grunt coming from inside and concluded that he could go in. He found his friend sitting on the bed with a beer in his hands. He looked like he had just woken up.

 

“Hey!” Ji Yong said as he closed the door behind him. He sat next to Seung Hyun and took the beer out of his hands.

 

“Give it back”, the rapper whined.

 

“No. It’s 5 in the afternoon and you haven’t gone out of your room once since breakfast. You should at least take a shower”, the leader suggested.

 

“Later”, he mumbled. “Ji, I know why you’re here so just say what you came here to say and leave me alone.”

 

“I just came here to check on you.”  

 

“I know you’re all talking behind my back.”

 

“No, we’re not!” Ji said.

 

“I heard Ri and Bae this morning. Apparently, I at the recording session.”

 

“Well… I think you could’ve done better. You kept forgetting words and your rap wasn’t as fluid as it usually is”, the younger one explained.

 

Seung Hyun sneered.

 

“Sorry for ruining the song”, he said in sarcastic tone.

 

“Don’t be like that. You didn’t ruin it, but now YG got word that you weren’t getting it right and he wants to talk to all of us.”

 

“Who told him, huh?” he asked, irritated.

 

“I don’t know. I just want you to be careful”, Ji calmly said.

 

“If he wants to end my contract, he can just go ahead. I’m starting to get tired of all this”, Seung Hyun declared.

 

“You know he’d never do that! He just wants to know what’s going on. Just tell him the truth.”

 

“And what would that be?” The older one asked, intrigued.

 

Ji Yong took a deep breath.

 

“Ri told me that you were seeing Jinki so I figured that you two must not be together anymore for you to be so depressed.”

 

“I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut”, the rapper thought out loud.

 

“He told me because he knew how worried I was about you…” Ji Yong looked at the floor. “Did he break up with you?”

 

Seung Hyun sighed. There was no point in lying.

 

“Yes, he did.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know… He just did.” Seung hyun felt his heart tighten. He blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears from falling down.

 

“How long ago did he break up with you?”

 

“It’s been three weeks and 5 days now.”

 

Ji Yong stared at his friend. Omg, he’s been counting the days…

 

“I think you should move on.”

 

“What?”

 

“If he wanted to get back with you, he would’ve called or came to see you by now. You should just forget about him”, the younger one harshly said. He didn’t want to be mean, but he was trying to help his friend… and he wanted Jinki out of the picture.

 

“I can’t!” the rapper cried out. “I tried… but I just can’t get him out of my head. I love him!” He suddenly burst in tears, burying his face in his hands. He was ashamed of himself.

 

Ji Yong froze for a moment. He had never seen his friend cry before. A few seconds later, he got out of his daze and started rubbing his friend’s back. Seung Hyun couldn’t stop crying so he just stayed there and comforted him. They stayed like this for a long moment and suddenly, Ji Yong didn’t hear his friend sob anymore. Seung Hyun had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He slowly got up, laid him on his bed, covered him with a sheet and quietly walked out of his room.

 

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“You should give him a call”, Taemin said.

 

“I haven’t seen him for almost a month now. I’m pretty sure he’s moved on.”

 

“Don’t be so sure. Maybe he’s been thinking about you as much as you’ve been thinking about him. If you don’t call him, you’ll never know.”

 

“I should’ve never broken up him.”

 

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have. As I already told you a hundred times now, Minho is wrong. There is nothing disgusting about you being with another man. Love knows no boundaries”, the maknae stated.

“Sometimes I feel like you’re the wisest one in this group. You would’ve made a great leader”, Jinki said with a smile.

 

“Thank you, but I think you’re the best. You’re always there to help us. I’m only trying to do what you would’ve done for me.”

 

Jinki smiled again. Taemin was a great friend.

 

“I know you broke up with him because you wanted to protect us, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your love life for our sake.”

 

“To be honest… I was ashamed more than anything. I was already insecure about being gay and what Minho said just made me lose all confidence.”

 

“I swear I’m going to kill that bastard!” Taemin exclaimed.

 

“Even though he really hurt me, I understand why he can’t accept that I’m gay.”

 

“He should’ve never talked to you like that! You’re his hyung, the leader of our group and most importantly, his friend!!!”

 

“I don’t know if things can go back to how they were before. I feel like he’ll always hate me.”

 

“Let’s deal with him later. Right now, you have to fix things with Seung Hyun. I can see that you really miss him.”

 

“Yes, I do…”

 

Suddenly, they heard the door bell ring. They had been talking in Jongtae’s room which was not far from the entrance so the maknae rushed to answer while Jinki was calmy walking behind. When Taemin opened the door, he was surprised to see who it was.

 

“Hey!” Ji Yong greeted with a smile.

 

“Hey…” Taemin replied, still confused.

 

Jinki finally arrived to the door and was also shocked to see Big Bang’s leader.

 

“You’re the one I came to see”, Ji Yong declared in a serious tone.

 

“Ok, I’ll leave you two alone”, Taemin said. He walked away even though he was dying of curiosity.

 

“Do you want to come inside?” Jinki politely asked.

 

“No, I’d rather talk to you outside”, Ji Yong replied.

 

“Ok...” Jinki stepped out and closed the door behind him. “What’s going on?”

 

“I’ll just cut to the chase. Seung Hyun has been really depressed these past few weeks and I know that it’s because you broke up with him.”   

 

Jinki felt his heart break.

 

“R-Really?”  he asked, uneasy.

 

“Yes. I think that you…”  Ji Yong paused. His heart was telling him to just be selfish and go back home, but his head was telling him to stay and do what was best for his friend. “You should talk to him”, he finally said. I just want Seung Hyun to be happy, he told himself.

 

“Ok… I will.” The younger one stared at his feet, embarrassed. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“He really needs you, Jinki.”

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I hope you enjoyed ^^ Next chapter will probably be the last... I'll start writing it soon so that I don't make you guys wait too long :p If you're still reading my fic, thank you for being so patient <3 

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Comments

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Kissel #1
Chapter 8: Sequel please!!!! Or make more stories about OnTOP, I really like that pairing pleeeeeeease
lemonew
#2
Chapter 8: THIS IS A MASTERPIECE!!!
but please make sequels for this story :(
it's so hard to find any onTOP stories.
This is just perfect!
BTW,Ji LOVES jinki or TOP??
Which one is it? I thought it's Jinki that he loves (>_<)
icarus #3
Chapter 8: This was wonderful, Sara!! It's always nice to finish off with a little Topnew ___ ;D

Stupid Minho D: well, at least he's becoming a little more understanding.

btw, I couldn't even tell that English wasn't your first language. Major props to you!
Jorbaby #4
Chapter 8: Awwwwwwwwwwww that was so cute
Awww I love this pairing now haha
Minjunkay #5
Chapter 8: So many feelings!!!!! It's So Hot and Sad and Cute and AAAAAAAAAW T-T I like this story
SnHiromi #6
Chapter 8: the end??!! D;!!
I want a SEQUEL! sequel pleaseeee~ neh?
minhosnoona #7
Chapter 7: sooooo awesome!!! Please update soon!
kobe24
#8
Chapter 7: hiii! When will you update?? :)
DimestoreNovelist
#9
Chapter 7: Can't wait for the next chapter...I so want Jinki and TOP to be happy.
Complete sympathy for Ji Yong... T_T