Chapter 5

Your Name

I'm so sorry for the laaaaate update!!!! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!!! / I had fun writing this chapter and it looks so short here, but on Word it seemed longer XD anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it !!! <3 

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A few days had passed since Seung Hyun had last seen Jinki. The older one couldn’t bring himself to call or go see him. He was just too ashamed. What could he say? Sorry? It wouldn’t fix anything. He was also confused to why Jinki had decided to visit him that day, especially with a box of chocolate. The first thing that had come to his mind was that maybe the younger one had feelings for him too, but he just couldn’t be sure. Jinki was a very confusing man, so maybe he had just wanted to talk and spend some time together but… why had he run away when he saw him with that girl? All those thoughts had been haunting him incessantly and he was getting more and more depressed every day. Sleeping with that girl was one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made.

 

A knock was suddenly heard on the door. Seung Hyun decided to ignore it. A few seconds later, the person knocked again several times. He ignored it again. Finally, the door opened and Ji Yong came in. He had a concerned expression on his face. Seung Hyun sighed; he should’ve locked the door.

 

“Can’t I have a moment of privacy around here?”the rapper asked annoyed.

 

“Hyung, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have a good reason”, Ji Yong explained.

 

“And what could that good reason be?”

 

“You know… we’ve been through rough times last year and we all felt like it brought us closer together, but lately with you being so mean to everyone and not talking, we don’t feel at ease when we perform or hang out”, the younger one explained calmly.

 

Seung Hyun was really pissed off right now. It really wasn’t the good time to blame him for something.

 

“Are we inseparable? I mean should we all be happy at the same time and sad at the same time too? I’m an individual and I can’t always be in that group mentality bull”, he practically screamed at his leader.

 

Ji Yong was a little scared but tried not to show it. He had come here because as the leader of Big Bang, he had to make sure everything went well between the members, but most importantly, he was here because he wanted to help his best friend.

 

“Look, I didn’t mean that you couldn’t have your own feelings. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have said it like that. We are just so worried about you. Even though you may not like it, we will always try to find out what’s going on in your head and try to make you happy. We’re family”, he added with a sweet smile.

 

Seung Hyun, who was on his computer chair, looked at his friend, feeling a little guilty. Ji was right, they were family. He just really liked to keep to himself and his friends’ concern could sometimes be overwhelming.

 

“I’m sorry if I’ve been mean to all of you lately, I just…”Seung Hyun stopped. He couldn’t bring himself to say the rest. He didn’t even know where to start. He could see that his friend was staring at him, confused, and he just looked back at him uneasy.

 

“What is it, hyung? You know you can talk to me; I won’t judge you”, the leader said with a reassuring tone.

 

The now black-haired rapper was still debating if he should just tell his best friend everything. Seung Hyun suddenly got up from his chair and took the black jacket that was on his bed.

 

“Let’s go drink”, he announced seriously.

 

Ji Yong was caught off guard.

 

“Now??? It’s only 2 pm!!!”

 

“So? When has it ever stopped us?”Seung Hyun answered with a smirk.

 

The younger one smiled. It was true. When they were trainees, they used to drink a lot throughout the day, whenever they had free time.

 

“Ok, let’s go!”Ji Yong finally said.

 

Twenty minutes later, they were seated at a booth in the back of a lounge. Seung Hyun had ordered a bottle of vodka. He always went for the strong alcohol. When the bottle arrived, the older one poured it in both their glasses and they started drinking.

 

“So, are we going to talk?”the younger one asked.

 

“Not now. Just drink”, the rapper said firmly.

 

Ji Yong took another sip of his drink, but he wasn’t in the mood to drink. He had just agreed to come here so that he could know what was going on with his friend, but he knew he had to be really patient with Seung Hyun. When something was really wrong, his best friend would drink a lot and that was what he was doing now. He was finishing glass after glass in one gulp, not even pausing between them. He had already drunk half the bottle in a very short amount of time while Ji Yong was still at his second glass.

 

“Hyung, maybe you should slow down”, the leader suggested calmly.

 

Seung Hyun stopped pouring the vodka in his glass and looked at his friend.

 

“I’m not even drunk yet”, he said frustrated.

 

“You don’t need to be”, Ji Yong replied, concerned.

 

“Yes I do!!!”

 

Ji Yong was confused and very worried. What could be going on in his friend’s life to make him act this way? He was already thinking about the worst things in his head and was growing more and more worried by the minute. Seung Hyun was still drinking and was now even ignoring him. The younger one could only do one thing: he grabbed the glass out of Seung Hyun’s hands. The older one immediately made a gesture to get it back, but Ji Yong dodged him very well.

 

“I will give it back to you if you agree to tell me what’s going on”, he declared.

 

“It’s nothing… can’t we just drink and talk about random things?”

 

“I know you more than I know myself. You wouldn’t be drinking like that if something wasn’t really wrong.”

 

“Well, maybe you should consider analyzing me again, because you’re wrong.”

 

“Ok then, I’ll bring the bottle and the glasses back to the counter and we’ll leave”, Ji Yong said making a move to get up.

 

Seung Hyun sighed. His best friend could really be a pain in the sometimes. He really wanted to drink, but he knew his friend wouldn’t let him until he had agreed to talk.

 

“Ok, ok. I’ll talk, but please give me my drink back”, he said, defeated.

 

“No problem!”Ji Yong smiled and gave him back his drink. He waited patiently as Seung Hyun was looking intently at his drink, not knowing where to start.

 

“Ji… I…”he stopped again and took a sip of vodka.“I’m in love”, he finally admitted.

 

“WHAT?”Ji Yong screamed very loudly. He then looked around him, seeing a few faces looking at him weird. He apologized and turned back to his friend. “Could you repeat what you just said?”

 

Seung Hyun sighed again.

 

“I’m in love”, he repeated, cringing a little. It was really hard for him to say it. He could read in his friend’s eyes the shock and disbelief his confession had brought.

 

“With who??? The girl that was with you last week?”

 

Seung Hyun laughed.

 

“Ji, come on. She was a mistake”, he declared a little sad.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, I screwed up badly because I slept with her.”

 

“I don’t understand….”Ji Yong said confused.

 

“That person found out and I think I might’ve lost…” Seung Hyun stopped. He didn’t know if he was ready to admit it was a man. Well, he was tired of keeping it all inside so he was going to be honest. “I think I might’ve lost him.”

 

Ji Yong couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His best friend was in love with a man??? He took his glass and drank all the vodka that was in it.

 

“Ok so… how did you meet that guy?”

 

“Well… you know… somewhere...”

 

“Somewhere?”Ji Yong sighed.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ok… and is he an idol?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Could you be more confusing?”

 

“Yes, I could.”

 

“So you’re not going to tell me who it is?”Ji Yong asked very annoyed.

 

“Not now. I need to fix things first.”

 

“How will you do that?”

 

“I don’t know…”

 

Seung Hyun filled his empty glass with vodka and took a sip.

 

“I didn’t think you’d ever fall in love with someone”, Ji Yong suddenly declared.

 

Seung Hyun was caught off guard. Did his friend think he was heartless?

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, you’ve never been in a serious relationship...”

 

“You’ve never been in one either!”The rapper pointed out, offended.

 

“True, but… it’s just surprising. You can be such a loner sometimes.”

 

“You’re not making sense. A loner can fall in love too.”

 

“I just don’t know how to explain it”, Ji Yong realized. “Nevermind.”

 

“Ji, I’ve never felt like this before.”He ran a hand through his hair. “I think about him all the time and it’s driving me crazy.”

 

“I see…”

 

They stopped talking and continued drinking. An hour later, Ji Yong was carrying an almost passed out Seung Hyun out of the door. He had drunk most of the bottle and was now completely out of it. Ji Yong started the car after putting his friend in the back seat. He turned to look at him one last time.

 

“Are you okay?”he asked.

 

Seung Hyun moaned in response and Ji Yong felt a chill go down his spine. He turned back to the steering wheel and began driving. Twenty minutes later, they were parked in front of their house. Ji Yong got out and went to the back to pick up his friend. Seung Hyun’s eyes were still closed when Ji Yong lifted him up. He started walking them towards the door and a moment later, he was putting the older one to bed.

 

“Goodnight, hyung”, the leader said while looking at his friend.

 

Seung Hyun didn’t answer, so Ji Yong turned around to leave the room, but as he was walking towards the door he suddenly heard his friend say “Jinki”. The younger one stopped in his tracks completely taken aback.

 

“Jinki… ”the older one repeated in his sleep.

 

Ji Yong got out of the room and closed the door behind him. He felt like his heart had just been crushed.

 

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Jinki was tired. They had just finished their rehearsal for Music Core and he felt like all his energy was gone. These past few days, he had just been so preoccupied with his feelings that he didn’t perform as well as he used too.

 

While everyone had gone to drink some water, he had decided to go outside. He had found, a few months ago, a peaceful place in the back of the building where he knew he wouldn’t be bothered. The other members knew about it, but they rarely went there.

 

He leaned on a tree and watched the clouds. The first thing that came to his mind was Seung Hyun. He had tried not to think about him, but his mind wouldn’t let that happen. He kept thinking about what should be his next step. Should he call him so they could talk or should he just ignore him for the rest of his life? He really wanted to ignore him since he had been so hurt, but he knew he would never be in peace. He needed to talk to him.

 

He suddenly felt a hand rest on his shoulder. When he turned his head to see who it was, his heart skipped a beat. Seung Hyun was now in front of him, giving him an awkward smile. Jinki just stared at him surprised. He noticed that the rapper had changed hair color and unfortunately, it just made him even more irresistible.

 

“What are you doing here?”Jinki asked, still shocked.

 

“We’re performing too”, the older one replied with a smile.

 

“Oh…”

 

Jinki really didn’t know what to say. He had wanted to act cold, but all he could feel was the between them. He hated the way Seung Hyun was looking at him right now; it was giving him naughty thoughts.

 

“Jinki…”Seung Hyun started as he stepped closer to the younger one. “I’m really sorry for what happened”, he said seriously.

 

“You don’t need to be sorry. Nothing happened”, Jinki replied with a fake smile.

 

Seung Hyun sighed.

 

“You ran out of our house and dropped a box of chocolate when you saw me with that girl. I think we know what that means”, he said looking intently at the singer.

 

“I think you’ve got the wrong idea”, Jinki retorted. “I ran out because I didn’t want to be a bother. I should’ve called first”, he explained trying to sound convincing.

 

“So you weren’t jealous?” Seung Hyun asked with a playful smile.

 

“No, I wasn’t”, Jinki answered firmly.

 

Seung Hyun stepped even closer to Jinki. The younger one couldn’t do anything about it because he was still leaning against the tree. Their bodies were now almost touching each other and Jinki felt his heart beat faster. The rapper leaned his head so that his lips were almost touching the singer’s ear.

 

“The truth is that when I was having with her, I couldn’t stop thinking about you”, he slowly whispered.

 

Jinki felt himself shiver and had to bite his lower lip to keep in the moan he had almost let out. He suddenly felt the older one’s lips kissing his neck. His eyes shut immediately as the pleasure took over his body.

 

“Stop…”, he moaned.

 

Seung Hyun stopped instantly. He lifted his head to meet Jinki’s eyes again. He noted that the younger one’s face was flustered and it put a prideful smile on his face.

 

“Did you really want me to stop?”He asked, amused.

 

Jinki was really embarrassed. He knew he couldn’t lie.

 

“No”, he finally admitted. “I just didn’t want to forgive you so easily.”He sighed. “I was going to confess my feelings for you that night, but when I saw you with that girl, I felt so stupid for thinking that you might’ve wanted to be with me.”

 

“But I do!!! I want us to be together. I’ve just never had those feelings for someone before so I didn’t know how to deal with them, but I swear I’ll never make the same mistake again. I’m so sorry”, he repeated desperately.

 

Jinki could feel that he was being honest, but he didn’t even know if he could be in a relationship right now.

 

“Okay, but I want to take it slow. I need some time to get used to all of this. I’ve never had a...” He stopped, embarrassed.

 

“A boyfriend?”Seung Hyun completed.

 

Jinki nodded.

 

“I’ve never had a girlfriend either”, he shyly admitted.

 

Seung Hyun smiled finding the younger one’s shyness adorable.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle”, he replied with a wink.

 

Jinki blushed which made the rapper laugh.

 

Meanwhile, the back door suddenly opened and Minho appeared. He was trying to find Jinki as it was almost time for their live performance. He looked around walking across the parking lot, but suddenly stopped in his tracks when he saw his friend passionately kissing…

 

Who is that?he thought. He subtly approached them and finally realized that it was Seung Hyun. He gasped and ran back inside. He couldn’t believe what he had just seen. 

 

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* I know the ending is a little weird, but I had to finish it like that :p 

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Comments

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Kissel #1
Chapter 8: Sequel please!!!! Or make more stories about OnTOP, I really like that pairing pleeeeeeease
lemonew
#2
Chapter 8: THIS IS A MASTERPIECE!!!
but please make sequels for this story :(
it's so hard to find any onTOP stories.
This is just perfect!
BTW,Ji LOVES jinki or TOP??
Which one is it? I thought it's Jinki that he loves (>_<)
icarus #3
Chapter 8: This was wonderful, Sara!! It's always nice to finish off with a little Topnew ___ ;D

Stupid Minho D: well, at least he's becoming a little more understanding.

btw, I couldn't even tell that English wasn't your first language. Major props to you!
Jorbaby #4
Chapter 8: Awwwwwwwwwwww that was so cute
Awww I love this pairing now haha
Minjunkay #5
Chapter 8: So many feelings!!!!! It's So Hot and Sad and Cute and AAAAAAAAAW T-T I like this story
SnHiromi #6
Chapter 8: the end??!! D;!!
I want a SEQUEL! sequel pleaseeee~ neh?
minhosnoona #7
Chapter 7: sooooo awesome!!! Please update soon!
kobe24
#8
Chapter 7: hiii! When will you update?? :)
DimestoreNovelist
#9
Chapter 7: Can't wait for the next chapter...I so want Jinki and TOP to be happy.
Complete sympathy for Ji Yong... T_T