This is probably confusing a lot of you that this appeared in your updated subscriptions, but I’ve been meaning to do this for a while since so many of you have been confused about the story’s events (omg please disregard the fact that it’s been a year). So here we go, a close reading analysis! Yay! Although it kind of just feels like a summary... but hopefully it'll help lol

So you should probably realize that my main characters never have names and yes that is done on purpose. Although it is nice to have names for characters, it allows the readers to have their own personal contribution to the story, you know? They can give her their own name, or a name they like and can picture her to look however they want, which isn’t something you can find in published novels. Anything goes in the fan fiction world, right?

With that aside, I will continue on with this analysis, and hopefully you will have a better perspective on what my convoluted mind intended.

If you find yourself confused by whether or not a certain scene is a dream or not, there are some key things to look at. Before things start going a little cray cray, any scene with Baekhyun in it is obviously a dream, but it’s in chapter 5 when the switch between dreams and reality happen.

The main character falls asleep in attempt to avoid meeting with Baekhyun’s parents again. She succeeds. The first line in chapter 5, “My dream started out much different than it ever had before,” should have been a clear give away that, hm, maybe this isn’t actually a dream? And if that didn’t give it away, this Baekhyun is completely unfamiliar with these dreams and to top it off even the girl, herself, states that her dreams have never felt as real. Her dreams should also follow the pattern of Baekhyun dying at the end of them.

So if the previous chapter was actually reality… then the next chapter would be…?

Yes, you guessed right: A dream.

So the haziness and more memory loss stuff should have given it away. Also, the appearance of Baekhyun in the real world has totally thrown off things in the dream world. There is no uniform pattern of being on the front porch with Baekhyun and he has no appearance in this dream at all. And since her dream seamlessly merged with reality, it leads her further to believe that her reality with Baekhyun is only a dream. And Baekhyun does kind of add on to this because he plays along with the whole dream theme. Even if things are totally different from what she’s used to, she can’t realize that this isn’t actually a dream. Three months of only seeing Baekhyun in her conscious obviously makes it seem that it is all a dream to her.

So the scene in the hospital is when she finally realizes that she has confused her reality and dreams. Baekhyun’s alive and everyone, including herself, thinks that she’s lost her mind.

In her dreams, she encounters a much different Dream Baekhyun. Having spent the last three months with this Dream Baek, he becomes jealous of the one in the real world. He gives her an ultimatum to break up with Baekhyun or else she won’t be able to wake up.

Things should be pretty much straightforward from here on. Dream Baek explains everything well enough to get a good grasp on what’s going on. But I’ll just break it down for you since we’re here anyway lol. So time doesn’t exist in dreams, so 1 second in the dream world could be two weeks in the real world or vice versa. And when the projection of Baekhyun’s subconscious somehow makes it into the main character’s dream, a pathway out of this dream is created. She figures she just needs to find the way out and everything will be okay if she just walks out the door. But of course what fun would that be if she just finds the door and leaves unscathed?

So she has to kill Dream Baek in order to even look for that door, but what she doesn’t know is that killing Dream Baek will basically delete Baekhyun from existence in her mind. Although Dream Baek isn’t actually Baekhyun, in her mind, he is what holds all of her knowledge of the boy, so if he dies, any knowledge pertaining to Baekhyun also goes.

So life goes on without any memory of Baek and they eventually break up, but in chapter 22 the girl that Baekhyun is with is actually herself. I know it’s confusing, but it’s just a hallucination; more side effects to everything that’s happened to the poor girl. Except these hallucinations are a little different… They’re memories.

Ok so when the main character asks Dr. Seo about it, it seems as though Dr. Seo already knows what’s going on (in this au I like to believe that Dr. Seo has dealt with a similar case before lol), but she doesn’t say anything about it and just tells her to stay off her meds. The meds help the main character’s brain function normally, so obviously without them more hallucinations will appear.

So the next day when she finally figures out that the other girl she’s been seeing is herself she has an epiphany that these hallucinations are actually her memories of Baekhyun. She goes home and the hallucinations are everywhere and her head starts to hurt since obviously it’s all so much to take in. The final straw is really when she sees the memory of Baekhyun getting hit by a car and she completely loses consciousness.

In the next chapter we find out that eeeeevverrything was actually just some sort of vision. In the present, Baekhyun and the main character appear to be in some intense fight and the scene is recognizable as the fight before the car accident. So the main character realizes she can still save him and she does yay the end.

Okay so I hope that this helped some of you and I hope I didn’t sound too condescending that’s just how I talk lol. Not gonna lie I miss this fic, it was so fun to write, but oh my god my writing T_T I mean the mechanics are all good, it’s just holy dialogue. There is so much dialogue and no in depth descriptions *sigh* So I’m definitely going to have to put this fic under construction so it can be so much better than it is :)  So yeah I’ll be sure to let you guys know when I finish editing this fic so you can read it again at its full potential lol 

And if you didn't already know I have another Baek fic going on right now. It's called For the Thrill of the Fall. It's basically about having an affair and ugh I'm so in love with it, okay, yes please check it out. 

Okay that's enough of me bye I love you all <3