You stare at her, half-hoping she’s lying, but of course that’s not the case. Hyunsoo starts to scroll through her iPhone, showing you the stocks, explaining to you about the Dow Jones Average and how the strike has affected the company, but you’re not listening, partly because you don’t understand, and partly because you’re thinking about something else. That explains this, then. It explains why Kai had been so indifferent.

But he could have told you, couldn’t he?

“Did Kai tell you?” You ask her.

“What?” She asks, directing her attention back to you.

“I said, did Kai tell you?” You repeat, getting a little testy.

“Of course not,” she scoffs. “That kid doesn’t tell me anything. And he doesn’t need to tell me for me to know. My dad is a stockbroker, so he tells me about this stuff all the time. He even bought me stocks for my birthday last year to manage – “

“Hyunsoo.”

“Okay, okay, geez. Look. I know because I went to check on my stocks. And I saw this,” she says, pointing to the initials of Kai’s dad’s company. “That’s all. We have nothing going on. Is that what you wanted to know?”

You start turning away, picking up your pace with each step. “Hey,” she calls after you. Her words echo in the now empty hall. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to find Kai,” you tell her, and before she can hold you up any longer, you break out into a jog and head for the abandoned dance room. You trust your gut as you navigate the halls. There is no map in your head guiding you where to go, but somehow your feet know the area, and soon enough you find yourself standing in front of the door which, just less than twenty four hours ago, had been the entrance to your ‘date’. 

Tentatively, you turn the knob and push open the door. The hinges moan in protest; you don’t remember them ever doing that before. You stick your head into the room, looking every which way, preparing yourself for when you see Kai, but he isn’t inside. You’re sad to admit this, but you’re a little disappointed.

Closing the door shut, you turn back to the hallway and wonder where he could have gone. Home? That’s likely.

You decide to check the parking lot for his car, and find it parked haphazardly in the last lot. You peek in, looking through the tinted windows to see whether he’s inside, but he’s not.

Where else could he be? You want to find him. You want to reach him. You want to be … there. Just be there, with him. Kai might not like his dad, but this … this is going to affect him in ways that even you can’t predict.

And then it occurs to you: the lily pond. Why hadn’t you thought of it before? You head for the back of the school building, making sure to check if anyone has noticed you before you round the corner.

There, as if he had been waiting for you to find him all along, is Kai, lying down on the bench, an arm crossed over his face to shade his eyes. You hesitate before you approach him, making sure that the sound of your footsteps sinking into the grass is clearly heard. Your shadow covers the top half of his body, and while it’s obvious that you’re present, he doesn’t move his arm away to acknowledge you.

“You know,” he states, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, “I didn’t think this bench was so comfy.”

“It’s not,” you say, because it’s the only thing you can think of. He just smirks, the sun tinting his lips in a shade of light pink.

“What are you doing here?” He asks you.

“I was looking for you.”

“And you found me. So now what?”

‘Now what?’ You don’t know. You genuinely don’t know. “I … “

“You probably heard, right?” He mutters. You stare at his mouth. It’s so hard to stay focused in this conversation when his lips keep distracting you. “So now what? Are you going to tell me to get up, get off my , do something about it?”

“I would never tell you to do that,” you say, surprised that he’d even suggest a thing.

“No? So what are you doing here?”

“Do you not want me here?” You half-whisper. Is that it? Is that the case? Because you can go. You can go, right now.

“No,” he replies, lifting his arm to stare straight into your eyes. His gaze is too intense, too strong, and you look away before you can let yourself be swayed. He sits up and yawns, adorably squinting his eyes and stretching. After his lips, he his head and says, “I don’t care. Stay. Or don’t. It’s your choice.”

“I’m staying,” you say, finally, pushing him over so you can sit on the bench. He moves over, but not enough, and you’re forced to sit undeniably close to him, your entire thigh connecting with his. It’s too tight. Not that … not that you’re complaining.

You sit there with him for a while, just staring at the surface of the pond as the water ripples, sending a cascade of colors over the fallen leaves. It looks so peaceful, so unsuspecting. It’s far too tranquil, a complete contradiction to the tension you can feel wanting to burst from Kai.

“How’d you know I was here?” He asks you. He sincerely looks curious.

“Why wouldn’t I know?” You reply. He stares at you, and when he gets your point, he just chuckles quietly and shakes his head.

“Can’t we pretend you didn’t come here because you were looking for me?”

“Nope.”

He sighs and scratches his head, debating on what to do. “I had fun with you yesterday,” he says, giving you his best, most swoon-worthy smile. You almost lose your resolve right then, but you manage to snap yourself back to reality.

“You’re stalling.”

“Mhm,” he murmurs, staring at his shoes. “And what about you? You’re not bothering to ask me anything.”

Challenged, you question, “So how’s your dad?”

“My dad is fine,” he drawls. “He’s dealing with what he can.”

That’s it. That’s all he says. You had one chance to finally get something out of him, to finally get him to say something confidential to you, and all he does is conclude the topic in two short sentences.

Doesn’t he trust you?

“I mean the stocks,” you say, refusing to give up. “That … that hurt your dad’s company.”

“Obviously,” he replies sarcastically. “And he’s going to do whatever the heck he can to keep his empire. Including using me.” You wait for him to reply, and after he pauses, he adds, “My dad … is going to want me to come to the company more than usual now. You know? To … help manage. I don’t know why he bothers,” he smiles wryly, “when I always do a crappy job.”

“Intentionally?”

“What do you think?” He retorts, giving you a look. You blink, and a soft expression of regret passes his face. “Sorry. I just … “ he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “I … he’s asking me to attend all these business meetings, and stuff, and I was just … I was planning on preparing for the show at our school.”

“We have a show?”

“Talent show. Whatever it is you call it.”

That doesn’t make sense. Isn’t Kai wanting to dance a secret? “And you’re going to do it … in front of … the school.”

He sighs. “Well. Maybe. I don’t know yet. But if I’m going to let my dad know … wouldn’t it be nice? To let him know through the show. That I don’t want to be just a puppet to him.”

“You’re not a puppet, Kai,” you tell him, but you know that it sounds empty. Even you are unsure of his role in his dad’s life.

“Don’t tell me who I am,” he growls, his sudden ferocity startling you. You lean back unconsciously, feeling how your leg parts from his, and his eyes soften again. A glimpse. That’s what you had seen: a glimpse of a crueler Kai. “Why do you always do that?” He asks, almost exasperated.

“Do what?”

“You always … you always … “ he runs a hand through his hair, getting irritated about how difficult it is to find the words. “You’re always so dang … nice. Don’t you have something better to do? Something better than fretting over me?”

He makes you sound like you’re doing it for no reason. He makes it sound like he actually doesn’t know the answer. More than you’re insulted, you’re nettled. It’s not just your pride he’s hurt. It’s your reason. Why? Why, he asks? Why do you always go after him? Because you care. Isn’t that obvious? Had everything you’ve done just passed by him, gone unnoticed, to be never thought of again?

“Go back … to Hyunsoo. Or whatever,” he continues. His gaze lingers on the two-inch margin that separates you from him. “Homework. Whatever. Just … I won’t even be seeing you for a while, probably. What with everything … helping my dad. The strike. I’m sure … it’ll be up in no time. And I’ll just … not practice. Whatever. I won’t. My dad … “ he trails off, scuffing the ground with the toe of his shoe, “he … he’s annoying. He really is. He always changed his mind, he tells me one thing and does the other … he’s annoying.”

Hm. That sounds awfully familiar.

“ … but he’s my dad,” Kai is saying. “And I can’t change that. So I might as well help him, right?” He looks up at you, almost as if he’s looking for confirmation, for your approval. You just smile, as sweetly as possible, as ‘nicely’ as possible, hoping that whatever it is Kai has set out to do, he’ll do his best. He stands up, fixing his blazer. He looks down at you for a few seconds, the most serene, considering look in his eyes, before he easily reaches out and rests the palm of his hand on your head, patting you lightly. “Thanks,” he says, his words disappearing in the air, and with that he pulls back and walks away.