I don’t know how I got there, but when I came to my senses, I found myself facing a long dark hallway that seemed to go on for eternity. There were no fancy chandeliers just large rectangular windows lighting the room. There were no details on the walls just hallways with many twist and turns so similar that there’s no point in looking back.

I peered through the window hunting for a clue as to where I was. To my disappointment, it wasn’t any different outside; not a hint of the blue sky; nothing but miles and miles of clouds that wouldn’t let a ray of sunshine slip in, yet at the same time so bright and blinding that you can’t bear to look at it even for a second.

I rubbed my eyes trying to recover from a temporary loss of sight and started walking; then, running… running for what seemed like miles, but the scene never changed; it was the same empty walls and, somehow, I never felt tired. My feet just kept moving until, finally, I met a familiar face; familiar but unwanted.

We stared at each other without moving a muscle… both of us waiting for the other to break the silence, but neither of us wanted to waste an effort. It was awkward and at the same time… comfortable, because neither of us had anything to say to the other.

She was barefoot holding her shoes in her hands; her long black hair disheveled and her breath deep, as if she has been running as much as I was. Was it for the same purpose? Was she looking for what or rather whom I was searching for?

Her white dress was as blinding as the sky; glowing as if it was not meant for me to look at. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I was wearing black like the color of the walls, but with texture like lace… but like the walls nonetheless. Anyone could have easily missed me if I didn’t speak, and yet she still saw me, but not a word was let out.  Only a remnant of the sound of his name bouncing from one wall to the other could be heard… Was it I or was it her calling out his name?

She smiled, but her big brown eyes betrayed her; they wore the same pained expression that they usually gave me. In her eyes, I was Pandora’s box… carrying all the ills that could corrupt her world. I could see her distress in them as if asking why I was there: though she already knew the answer.

With a slight nod of the head, we decided to go our separate ways “to cover more ground,” but the truth was, we couldn’t be in each other’s presence because we fed each other’s sorrows.

Once again, I found myself running through the halls desperately searching for him… my light at the end of the tunnel. I knew I had to find him first…

When I did, I only saw his silhouette, but I knew in my heart that it was him standing by a window, as if he had been waiting for me for a long time. How long would he have waited? There was no need for fake smiles because we knew each other all too well.

I approached him slowly; the sound of my footsteps filled room; deafening like thunder, and with every step I took, the more hesitant I became to take another; the heavier my heart grew. Until, the weight became so unbearable that I could no longer take another step. It felt as if my heart was about to rip its way out of my chest and fall. Maybe it did…because I stood there anchored to the ground, wondering what I should do and what I came there for.

I lowered my head and kept my eyes fixed on the ground examining every detail of the carpet looking for something…but what? I heard his footsteps getting close; then he stops a few inches in front of me, my blurred vision fixated on his shoes. Could he see it? …my fallen heart… and if he could, would he pick it up? I could feel the tears in the back of my eyes waiting to be released, but I couldn’t let them; so I shut their lids tightly to keep the tears from falling, but it was too late… One treacherous drop has already escaped and landed on his shoe.

He lifted my chin slowly and our eyes met. I didn’t see my reflection in them, but I did see the pain… the longing…the regret… the guilt…

I held his hand to my face and let it rest there; then, I closed my eyes; absorbing his warmth. How did things turn out this way? Maybe it’s just a dream… and when I wake up, everything will be back to the way they were… but my eyes opened to the same scene; then, my tears flowed freely. He tried to stop them with his delicate hands; his slender fingers carefully wiping off every drop, but it was no use… I’ve held them for so long that nothing could have stopped them.

 “Shin Hye…” he muttered with a broken voice.

It was too painful to hear him say my name. I covered my ears, and he pulled me closer… because that was all that could be done. I pressed my head against his chest to hear the familiar beat of his heart… but it was barely beating… as if about to stop… I wanted to hit him, but I couldn’t. I felt too weak to move.

He embraced me tighter and I huddled closer to his chest wanting to melt into his arms and be with him forever. It lasted for a second, but it felt like a lifetime. Why couldn’t have time stop at this very moment? More tears fell…and yet nothing was said because we understood what it meant.

Moments later, she arrived but she didn’t see the two of us in each other’s arms, but how I wished she did.

It wasn’t long before she took my place in his embrace. She uttered words that neither he nor I paid any attention to. His forlorn eyes were still on me, and they only left when she kissed him; then, the two of them walked away hand in hand without looking back because there were no details on the walls just hallways with many twist and turns so similar that there’s no point in looking back…

I stood there alone drowning in silence… “Geun Suk…” I could have called out his name…like I’ve had in my head a million times over… but it would have been useless because he was gone the moment he closed his eyes.