Jim: But I can't wait!

PH chat group room, greeted me in the afternoon asking how I was with Sam. I told them everything including Khun Sam who hugged me last night. Also about the pink color that has been changed and her always telling me to carry things like a maid. She made herself a leader because she was a Mhom Luang.

Kate: You don't have to do that. And also PH doesn't remember anything, but she held you all night, I think that's a good thing. Usually she does not allow anyone to touch her.

Tee: Yeah, she won't hug a stranger who says she's her girlfriend. It is the best thing to do.

Jim: I think she's just teasing us. Where else in the world are there amnesiac people besides in dramas? I can't accept it yet.

Mon: Khun Sam has tried her best. She didn't kick me out of the house, luckily I still have a chance to make her come back. It just takes a little time.

I believe that... Only time will heal everything. One day Khun Sam will remember the past story between us. Yes, it will pass easily, let alone the doctor himself said nothing went wrong during operation. Maybe she just forgot for a moment, like Mew Nittha in the movie One Day. It's just that he forgot one day, but Khun Sam had forgotten me for a month.

Kate: I don't think you should care anymore about whether she remembers or not. Better to reset and start all over again.

Jim: What do you mean?

Kate: That means, the new PH has to be regenerated love for Mon. Mon funny, it will not be difficult to do it. She used to love Mon, so it would be easy to make her love Mon again.

Mon: Maybe not that easy. Khun Sam's eyes are the same have no feelings for me at all.

Jim: Kate thought well. What are you afraid of? There we are as consultants. Flirt with her every day. Let's see how long she can last.

Mon: I'm not good at flirting.

Jim: Bull like crazy Sam.

Tee: Enough Jim, she's lost her mind, not mad.

Jim: It's exactly the same. Mon, do you remember what she liked about you?

I pursed my lips slightly and felt embarrassed to say personal stories like this. Well I told them in the group room together.

Mon: Maybe... Lips?

Jim: Kiss her today.

Kate: You talk like it's drama. Do you think it's easy? Like me, I'm always kissing with lots of people, playing drama with any actor, kissing for real, but they don't see it at all, nobody teases me.

Jim: Because you're unattractive.

Kate: ERGHH...

Jim: Mon, follow your instincts. Do whatever you want, be the easiest person to kiss. Review the past and emulate it.

I smiled flatly at the phone screen. Easy to say, but whether I dare or not is another matter. In the past, everything seemed to fit the description. But enough to make the desire to do it. I don't know if I dare. I switched from my cellphone screen and sighed when I saw Khun Sam coming out of the bathroom looking at me. Then she tilted her head to look at me suspiciously.

"What's wrong, why are you acting like that?"

"Oh, I watch the news all the time. The news is sad"

"The news is sad, but your smile is flat. It doesn't match. What news did you see?"

I quickly turned off my phone and shook my head.

"No, it's better if you don't see it, since you just recovered. Witnessing bad news is bad for your head. Because if you have a headache it will be hard"

"The pain is gone. It's just me... I'm bored. This hair grows slowly, I look ugly" She pouts.

I stared at her lips and thought about what Jim had said with the desire to really try it.

"Has Khun Sam ever kissed?"

"Hah?"

She looked like she saw a ghost when I asked her that.

Of course, she had kissed, with whom else, if not me?

"Wanna try a kiss?"

"Why should I try?"

"Dunno. I saw your lips and I felt like kissing them" But I became indifferent and changed the subject "Are you bored? You want to go out?"

"Yeah, I'm bored, I want to go back to work, but I'm bald" She frowns, "I'll just mess it up, that's bad"

"Do you want to go to the mall with me?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to go buy some things"

Khun Sam finally agreed to go to the mall casually, but she still wore a knit hat because she felt inferior. But even so, she still looks beautiful. She was also well dressed, it was casual clothes like a T- shirt and jeans, a boyish look, unlike the one she usually wears with long hair.

"What do you want to buy?"

"I want to buy lipgloss. Khun Sam, please choose" I pointed at the affordable lipgloss stall that smelled of honey and strawberries. The sweet face looked at it and then shook its head.

"I don't use cheap stuff. We gotta have Dior, Chanel, Yves Saints"

"Yeah, rich people" I pretended to be sarcastic.

"But if I had to choose, I would choose that one. It can change color like magic" Khun Sam pointed at a lip gloss with a strawberry scent.

I smiled at his words. Previously, when she bought the gift for herself, she made a surprised face when she applied the lipstick to my lips because it changed color.

"Then I'll take this one. Let's pay"

"I will pay for it"

"It doesn't matter"

"I'm rich"

She just said that and went to pay as she said, although she couldn't remember anything, there was one thing she still had. At first, it was the coolness that comes with showing abundance, I looked at her with love, smiled and took things from her first. We'll walk for a bit and then head home together.

We are currently watching Netflix. While watching, I took off the lip gloss and put it on my lips. She looked at me hesitantly before averting her eyes. At this point I'll give it a try, it won't hurt too much if she just scolds me and accuses me of something that is strange.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her watching me while still wearing lipgloss. I turned to look at her and asked suspiciously.

"What is it?"

"Your lips are in the shape of a heart"

I smiled shyly, she had said this before.

"Umm"

"Oops, it really changed color"

"Smells good too"

"How can it be like that?"

"Would you like to try it?"

"Crazy! Who wants to eat lipgloss?"

"Taste it, do like me not eaten"

"Okay, I want to try something cheap" She said arrogantly.

So I took the chance.

I approached her and immediately pressed my lips with her lips. This sweet lady froze, her eyes widened as if she had seen a ghost. I pulled my lips back. I can feel my face getting red. Since dating her I haven't because she said she liked my lips the most.

"Does it taste good?"

"Wh... What are you doing?" She covered with her hands, her ears reddened, as if there was surging blood.

"How does the lip gloss taste?"

"Do you really intend to do this?"

"Didn't we do it the first time?"

I feigned ignorance. I also feel hot and cold, chill down the spine.

"That was before and I can't remember"

"Then, what about now? Do you like it?"

"...."

"Do you like it?"

"......"

"Do you like it?"

"..."

I imitated her, when she wanted an answer she always asked three times to force others to do what she wanted.

"Where are you going?"

"Japan"

Bang!

She went into the bathroom but said it was Japanese like a fool. I looked at her fondly before lifting my hand and rubbing my face. I was so afraid that I would get scolded at first but no, she just ran away, so I'll leave her alone for now. This situation works, I'll let the PH chat group know.

Jim: PH runs off like that, meaning she likes it. Otherwise she would have slapped you like she slapped my face before.

Kate: Or maybe she's mad. The person she don't feel for suddenly comes and kisses her like that.

Tee: Maybe she's just shy.

Jim: Let's wait and see.

When finished talking in the group, I looked into the bathroom Khun Sam entered earlier. She had been in there too long, so I got up and knocked on the bathroom door, but no one answered. At first I let her go, but I realized she was taking too long so I turned the knob and saw Khun Sam sitting in the cabinet. She held her head tightly and seemed to be in pain.

"Khun Sam!"

I slide to kneel in front of her and check. I looked left and right like the doctor would.

"What's wrong? Your head hurts?"

"Yes"

"Why didn't you tell me?" She looked at me for a long time, as if she had something to say. I looked into her light brown eyes and asked curiously, "What's wrong?"

"On my birthday five years ago... I once bought myself some lipgloss"

"I put it on your lips and bit your lips because I wanted to taste the strawberry lipstick I bought for me"

"Um... Khun Sam, do you remember?"

"I got that scene. When you kiss me, the memory is like sailing back" She raises her hand to her left chest. It feels like excruciating pain. "That fluttering feeling back then, coming back"

She reached up to touch my face before looking up and pressing her lips against mine and kissing me slowly. She also used her tongue to my lips. It wasn't long before she withdrew again.

"This is the taste I remember. We used to kiss each other. I remember that"

"Hmm..." I, who was so whiny, sobbed not knowing what to do, I hugged her and cried. "Good, at least Khun Sam remembers our story even if it's only a little, I'm still happy"

"And I also asked you before, do you like kissing?"

"We're crazy about it"

 

 

I watched her actions, smiled, didn't say much, then turned my back on her and continued sleeping.

But... She went back to sleeping abnormally, constantly moving left and right, always changing positions. I suddenly felt like someone was staring at me. When I opened my eyes, I saw Khun Sam was above me and bowing towards me. I saw her eyes in the dark.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for something here"

"Then why are you above me?"

"No" She denied vehemently then rolled over to sleep on the other side next to me where there was only a little space left "Looks like I'll sleep on this side... Ah!"

Khun Sam rolled over and fell to the floor.

Of course she would fall, there was little room beside me.

"Khun Sam, are you okay? Where does it hurt?"

"My back hurts"

"Did you hit your head?"

"No... Yes... a little" She changed her words and pretended to hold her head, "It seemed to have hit the leg of the bedside table"

"Let me see the wound"

I saw the wound on her head, but nothing wrong. Khun Sam looked at me like a puppy. I couldn't stop my hand from her cheek. I it lovingly. Her cheeks were still as smooth and soft as ever. This sweet lady saw me as she did so, moving towards me hoping to kiss me. But I turned around with perfect timing, causing her to freeze slightly. She looked back at me and asked.

"Can't I kiss you?"

"..."

"I thought, since we are lovers, we can kiss each other again"

I smiled slightly and looked into her face.

"But you don't remember anything, I wouldn't kiss someone who doesn't remember anything. Plus I don't want you to think about anything else when we kiss. What I think when we kiss is on one side"

"Really nya, what was I thinking when kissing?"

"Mr. Kirk?"

"I'm tired of hearing that"

She stood up and stomped her feet like a child who didn't get what she wanted. She went to lay on her side and covered herself with the blanket, her back to me. Seeing that movement, I couldn't help but hug her gently. She pulled away from me, but I still hugged her and laughed.

"You are sleepy?"

"Trust only in close friends"

"I'm close to you. But you don't remember me"

"If we're close, why don't you want me to kiss you"

"You're close with the others too. Do you kiss them, like Jim or Kate"

Khun Sam didn't seem to find any other reason to argue with me, so she remained silent. I kissed her on the cheek and she turned to look at me with surprised eyes.

"You kissed my cheek?"

"I just kissed your cheek and you were in shock, really?"

"Then why can't I kiss you? Why do you dodge when I do?"

"You can only kiss me if I want it"

"Then I will also do the same. You can only kiss me if I want to"

"Okay... So, can I kiss you?"

She thought for a moment before closing . that only speaks arrogantly, but when I speak nicely to her she will also speak softly. Like when we were lovers.

"Since you asked for something good, then I will give it"

"If I kiss you, you have to agree to sleep well, okay? Without moving"

"Do you look at me like a dog? I can't sleep because... mmm"

I kissed her because she talked too much, she took the kiss easily, not for long, I pulled away.

"Now, you can sleep"

"How about tomorrow we do it again?"

"Try saying it again"

"So... can I kiss you again? And promise you won't move again"

I smiled and bent down to kiss her. Slower this time, I slip my tongue into and she responds by wrapping her arms around my neck like she doesn't want me to go.

Even though I should refrain from it but humans have limits. Things take time, I want her to learn them.

"Enough for tonight. No more movement during sleep"

After finishing talking, I lay back down and turned my back to her. Khun Sam turned towards me and hugged me from behind, smelling the scent from my hair and neck, she didn't do anything else. Apart from calling my name.

"We can't stop doing that..." She spoke while sniffing my neck "I like your smell"

I smiled and held her hand before gently the back of her hand

"You've said that before"

Today I have an appointment with Yuki to accompany her to try on a wedding dress with Tee who is too with her.

Khun Sam, who knew that I couldn't be with her, she changed her plan by staying near me like an addicted person. At least our relationship is progressing to the next level. I am no longer a stranger to her. I don't know if it's because we kissed or not, but seeing Khun Sam clinging to me like this, it's better.

"Are you really going to get married?" Khun Sam asked Tee with great interest. "Isn't it not permissible for the general public? Can women and women marry?"

"What era has this been? You also followed me. And what are you doing here?"

"Well... Mon left, so I'm coming"

"Oh following each other like leeches" Tee smiled at me.

I'm kinda happy to see the change. Khun Sam was different on the first day when she didn't let me touch her body at all.

"Mon, how is this dress?"

Yuki called me to see the dress of her choice. It was a simple wedding dress, but with a fishtail and it looked elegant. It doesn't have lace or Fluffy striped vent fabric, I like that.

“I'll try first… Mon, you should try too. Yuki quickly apologized because she just remembered that Khun Sam is still unwell. "Sorry I forgot"

"It's okay... Okay, I'll accompany you so you won't be alone. I'm a bridesmaid, can I try it too?"

"You can try it" Yuki replied happily.

So I chose a pink dress, simple, but with some fringe effects. We both went into the locker room to change clothes then came out together to show off the dress. Tee who was trying on a suit turned towards us.

"That dress is fine. It suits Yuki... Mon is also beautiful, that pink color suits you very well. Don't you think, PH?"

Tee turned to ask Khun Sam's opinion who was now looking at me with a surprised face. Her face was pink when I saw her. And when we make eye contact she quickly averts her eyes.

"That doesn't look pretty means beautiful said it's not pretty... Arrgh"

Suddenly, she shouted while holding her temple.

It seemed that her headache had returned, all of us, including Yuki, rushed over to Khun Sam. Her eyes were closed in pain and her face was pale.

I squat down in my dress and caress her face.

"Your head hurts again? Does it really hurt?"

Suddenly, tears well up in her eyes as she looks up at me, her hand up and resting on my downcast cheek. Then she spoke in a trembling voice.

"We... We've..."

"Yes? Ever what?"

She gulped, wincing like her head was about to explode. But she still spoke in a trembling voice.

"We've discussed proposals and marriage."

 

Tonight was another night where Khun Sam slept restlessly. She always turned left, then lay down, then right again. She even asked me to swap places to sleep. I so can't sleep well. She again told me to move again to its original position. She was like this for over 2 hours until I thought, ah, maybe it's because I came out of the bathroom earlier. That's why she can't sleep like this.

Ding..

A message notification rings from my cell. I turned around to see the message. After reading it, I turned towards Khun Sam who was lying on her side facing me.

"Why text? You can't talk?"

"No, that's not romantic"

"Strange people"

She typed back like a freak.

Sam: Why aren't you sleeping?

Mon: The one who doesn't sleep is you, why?

Sam: I feel hot so I can't sleep.

Mon: Maybe, you should try sleeping to feel better.

Sam: Who just came out of the bathroom without wearing anything?

Mon: Well, I asked you for a towel, but you won't give it to me.

Mon: This is weird. When you feel hot, I feel cold instead. Come closer, I'll make your body cool down.

Sam: Mhom Luang doesn't follow anyone's orders.

Mon: Then I'll come closer.

I move closer to her while I smile. I wonder how she will solve this problem. However, like being shot by flames, she hurriedly rushed away until she was close to the edge of the bed.

Sam: I already said that it's hot. Don't move anymore.

Mon: But I'm cold, hug me.

Sam: I told you it was hot. We will not hug.

Mon: Then let me hug you.

When I almost hugged her, she immediately rolled backwards and fell off the bed hard. The surprise took me by surprise. After a while, I looked down at her who was lying on the floor. But when she found out that I was seeing it, she hurriedly pretended to be cool as if it didn't hurt at all.

"I can compress your body with a hug so you don't overheat anymore and can sleep. But you don't listen to me, so you must be hurt"

"Shouldn't you be comforting me?" I looked at her and smiled, she was always cute in my eyes, even with that scary face.

"Where does it hurt?"

"Hips"

"Here, I'll massage you"

"Are you good at massages?"

"I will try"

Khun Sam climbed into bed rubbing her hips before lying down. My hands slowly moved up from her legs to her hips instead of massaging I her hips.

"Are you really that good at massages?" She said in an irritated voice.

"That should be done first"

"Should it be first and then massaged?"

"It's like a Thai masseuse. Before getting a massage she has to worship a god first"

"And the masseuse worships a god by our hips?"

"Scare the angels"

I slowly moved my hand, alternating with it back and forth intending to tease it. Khun Sam closed her eyes, pressed her lips tightly together, took a deep breath and spoke through gritted teeth.

"I can not take it anymore"

"Does it really hurt?"

"No! it doesn't hurt anymore!"

She turned me over to lay on my back and she was on top of me. She looks like a man who has lost his temper. What I did just now seems to be working fine. She looked at me furiously, but I was not afraid of her in the least. What can she do to me with lost memories?

"Is there something wrong with the massage? Why are you stopping me, it's confusing"

"What are you doing? Trying to tease me?"

"Did it work?" I grinned widely. She turned again and muttered, but I could hear her because the room was so quiet.

"Too bright and hurts the eyes"

"Do you like my smile?"

"I don't like it at all"

"Do you want to say something? It's okay, I like being under Khun Sam's body" I said between the lines.

Usually I'm not this kind of person, but the situation forced me to be strong and bold. And honestly I'm not ashamed, because she's my girlfriend. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I will say whatever I want to say.

"I don't know what to say"

"So, we'll just be like this"

"Khun Sam"

"...."

"Khun Sam"

"Kiss"

She ree word and then lowered her head to me. But I turned away from her, and she kissed me on the cheek instead. Her brows furrowed in frustration.

"Why are you dodging?"

"I can't let someone who has no feelings for me kiss me"

"You can kiss me"

"Well, I love you, that's why I can kiss you. But you have no feelings for me, how can I let you kiss me carelessly?"

"What did you feel when you kissed me?"

"It has to be felt mentally, not physically" I raised my hand and flicked her nose like a feather.

I love her so much but I have to hold back.

"You tricked me like that? You can kiss me, but I can't"

"If I don't give you a kiss, then you can't kiss me"

"Then I won't give you a kiss either!" the cutie face turned away from me and threw herself down to lie down and turned her back to me.

I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing. I liked her so much that I couldn't help but hug her. But she pushed my hand away.

"Don't touch, it's hot"

"Khun Sam..."

"Don't want to"

"Khun Sam..."

"Don't want to"

"Kiss"

"No..." She froze for a moment, as if thinking. Then she turns around giving me what I think is the brightest smile I've ever seen. "Want to..."

"I will kiss you, if I want it. Everything depends on me. Good night"

Even after saying goodnight and lying on my side with my back turned, I was still nervous. More than an hour before going to bed, my heart was still beating fast. Being in contact with her body also gives me a feeling of heat all over. I know I need it physically but I can't do anything.

I'm not going to have with her because to her it's just lust... not love.

In the morning, I sat at the dining table with a big smile. Khun Sam and I had breakfast together today, I made her simple porridge for her to eat but she didn't eat it. The expression on her face looks very angry.

"Why don't you just eat some? I was already planning on cooking that up".

"I have no appetite, smelly face"

I spooned the gruel into my mouth and laughed without thinking. But it seemed my laughter made her even angrier, even stronger than before.

"What you're laughing at?"

"I laugh at people who are in a bad mood. What's wrong with you, nightmare?"

"To dream is to sleep, but I couldn't sleep because of you!" She almost hit the table while talking.

Last night she tried to sleep but couldn't seem to.

"What did I do?"

"You can kiss me, but not let me kiss you"

"Oh, I already told you why. I love you, that's why I can kiss you"

"Then why can't I?"

"Because you don't love me. What does it mean to kiss someone you don't love?"

"Do you have a word that doesn't need to be translated?"

"Come to think of it, there are words like, you.. easily.. fooled"

"You're the first person to do this to me"

She walked around the table towards me with an angry expression. She nearly strangled me, but I wasn't scared at all. Because I know that she is hard on the outside and soft on the inside.

"Later, when you remember and still love me, then you can do whatever you want"

Do whatever you want...

A word with many meanings. Khun Sam gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. It seems she has decided on something.

"I can't take it anymore. Being teased like this because I lost my memory, makes me feel wronged".

"Then, what are you going to do if you can't hold it in?"

She looked into my eyes, her face very serious like never before. And hearing the words that came out of made the spoon I was holding almost fell but I held it tightly.

"You have to get out of my house"

"I won't be able to hold back if you're still here".

 

 

I put my clothes into the bag piece by piece. My throat felt constricted, tears kept flowing, and I felt sad to myself. Why is it like this. Am I teasing her too much? Or what? She was so cruel that she kicked me out of the house without even caring about me.

Isn't that very painful?

When going down the stairs and getting ready to leave the house, Khun Sam followed me slowly. Like a duck following its mother, it doesn't speak. She remained silent but as if she wanted to speak, as if hesitating not wanting me to go. As soon as I stepped out the door she grabbed my shirt. Then grip very tightly.

"Why?"

"There isn't any"

"Then why are you pulling my shirt?"

"I don't know".

"let go"

That's all I said and she slowly released hee hand before walking to the car and politely opened the door for me. It's a little but that's okay. She didn't even talk to me when she walked me to my parents house.

The whole way in the car, we barely spoke to each other. I wanted to talk to her, but my throat was too tight to do so. She herself was already a quiet person. She didn't talk especially to people she wasn't close to, she would become twice as fierce. I miss Khun Sam who loves me so much. I don't know why she is like this.

"Mon, arrived" Khun Sam parked the car and looked at my wooden house first, then frowned. "poor house"

"You've said that before" I forced a smile and bide her goodbye. "Then you may go"

"I'll take you inside"

"No need, I don't want my parents to ask why I came back"

"They saw you carrying the bag. Surely they will ask"

"I would say we had a bit of a fight so I went back home and they wouldn't ask much. Although I actually never had a fight once... With the old Khun Sam"

"I am the same Sam"

"But the person in front of me is the new Khun Sam... I'm going in"

I sadly waved goodbye to her. I could feel that she was looking at me with eyes like she wanted to reach. I assumed that deep down she remembered me well, but it was like something was hiding it.

"You have to eat a lot and get enough sleep"

"I'm used to living alone. Having you there is something new... But if you're lonely, you can come anytime."

"Thanks for your kindness. You may go now" I smiled at her.

"No, I'll just stand here waiting for you to come in, then I'll go"

We both waited to see who would move first. Finally I chose to give in and walked into the house. I could hear Khun Sam's car leaving. And as I expected, my mother who was at home immediately asked why I came back. So I had to give her the excuse that I had a bit of a fight with Khun Sam, so I went home. But mother scolded me instead.

"Go make peace with Khun Sam. Blue bloods never do anything wrong"

"Mom, Khun Sam is just an ordinary person. I am your daughter, don't you remember? Besides, I rarely come home, don't you miss your daughter at all?"

"Khun Sam is not feeling well. Instead of doing nice things to make her feel comfortable, you are encouraging hee to fight. You don't behave like an adult at all $#^% $*&% $&"

Mother grumbled along the kite's tail. Meanwhile, I chose to escape to my room and threw myself on the bed, letting the tears flow freely. I want to cry as loud as I can, but I can't because I'm afraid my parents are worried. In the end, all I could do was scream into my pillow to let out my emotions. Not forgetting that I also reported all of this to the PH chat group.

Jim: PH has done too much already. She even kicked you out of the house.

Kate: she's the PH version of no- honey Mon. Mon, don't mind it, if she doesn't love you anymore, get someone new.

Tee: Yes, I agree, even though it hurts but it's really good to be alone. Free, no obligations, and convenient.

Jim: Is that a word from someone who wants to get married?

Kate: Yeah, you answered weirdly Tee.

Mon: It's okay. Right now Khun Sam doesn't feel anything when she's with me. I guess I'm a stranger to her. Being apart from each other might make her think more.

Mon: I also feel hurt myself, being with someone who feels nothing for me, but I still love her in a way.

Jim: You don't have to pretend you're okay in front of the experts. I know very well you feel pain, it's okay, time will heal everything. I'll slap her later.

Kate: And you wish she'd kiss you back, right?

Jim: You know very well.

Tee: Right now, you live alone first. Slowly thinking about what to do next. Later, I will make an appointment to get together. I will also hand out wedding cards.

Mon: Well, at least some good news. When are you two getting married, Tee? Please for details.

Tee: Next month, you have to be a bridesmaid for Yuki, and the others...

We ended up changing the subject because they didn't want things to get too tense, and also helped distract me.

After talking with them, I went downstairs to have dinner with my parents. But it's not as delicious as eating with Khun Sam. Right now, she was probably sitting and eating alone, doing everything by herself.

Even I, who was with my parents, was still lonely. I miss her so much, she was always with me.

Never mind, Khun Sam is probably happy now, don't think about it anymore.

In fact, even though Khun Sam wasn't sick, I always came home once a week. It was normal until she had surgery and that's why I was stuck with her for a few months.

I couldn't sleep, so I stood in front of the house in a daze, listening to the crickets and smelling the scent in the wind. Sometimes it smells good, sometimes it smells mixed with rancidity, but it's not that bad. While I was still in my thoughts, Nop came out of the house to get something from the car he just bought, he accidentally saw me.

"Mon"

"Nop"

I walked over to him who was standing beside the wall of the house, that handsome face made a happy and surprised expression.

"Why did you come back? Is Khun Sam away?"

"It's nice to see you smile a lot"

"Why does your voice sound weird? You look sad too"

"Then make me happy"

"Huh? How?"

I gave him a smile, after a while, Nop picked up his guitar. Then we both sat on the balcony of his house. Nop his phone to look up the lyrics and we sang along. Actually I know Nop wants to ask a lot of things, but he's afraid of being considered impolite. Better not say anything.

"Are you going to sing all night?"

When the fifth song finished, Nop made fun of me, I raised my eyebrows slightly.

"So you can't sing all night?"

"No, but today you look weird. Usually you just watch me, I've never seen you sing.

"There's only music, so I'll sing for fun. Besides, we haven't seen each other in a while, I want to sit down and chat with my friend"

"I don't think we have talked since earlier. When you came we were just singing a song" Nop looked hesitant and his lips with his tongue.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No"

"I'm Nop, your best friend, don't forget"

"I didn't forget, but I just don't want to stress my friend"

"It's okay, your story is always important to me"

"Thanks for playing guitar my friend. Your music makes me feel so much better"

"If that makes you feel good... Ouch!"

He was stopped because a shoe from outside the house flew and hit Nop's head. When I saw those expensive shoes, I immediately remembered whose they were. My mouth wants to laugh, but I'll hold it in.

As soon as I took her shoes, I immediately walked to the front of the house, where Khun Sam was standing with a tense look on her face. But I pretended to look at her angrily.

"About this habit again. Always making a fuss by throwing things at people. That's not funny at all"

"That's the usual thing to do"

"But not everyone can accept that kind of behavior. Aren't these your shoes that cost twenty thousand?" I remember this pair of shoes very well. Then I looked her up and down and...she was still wearing the same clothes as this morning.

"Whatever the price I'm fine tossing it. I'm rich"

"Okay rich man, do something else. Don't do it here. I don't like it one bit"

"I didn't ask you to like it"

"Good, now go home"

I returned the shoes to her hand and turned to re- enter Nop's house, only to be grabbed by my sleeve.

"Isn't your house over there?"

"Yes, I want to sing with my friend"

"You can sing?"

"I can sing and my friend who plays guitar"

"I don't know how to play guitar but I bought karaoke. I bought a big one" she raised her hands high and spread a wide circle as if to show that it was really big and majestic.

"Then how am I going to sing if I've been kicked out. You forgot?" I crossed my arms and stared at her before realizing something, "By the way, Khun Sam, we just said goodbye this morning. Why are you here again now? Did you forget something?"

"I didn't forget anything"

"So what did you do?"

"You said earlier, I can come whenever I want"

"It's not me who said that, but you. You said earlier that if I'm lonely, I can come to your house anytime."

"It's the same, I can come anytime"

"Even today isn't over. Did you miss me?"

"No. Who missed you" she denies right away and crosses her arms, but I can see she's blushing. "I just came to see how you are, but you seem happy"

"Yes, as you can see. Is there anything else?"

"You want me to go?"

"There's nothing for us to talk about anymore"

"Yesterday, you still love me"

I still love you until now. But I don't want to talk too much with her. Besides, I'm so sad she told me to get out of the house like that.

"People can change all the time. But you still don't like me"

When I speak, I know my throat is tight, but I try to hold it in.

"Does that mean you don't love me anymore?"

"I love myself more. Khun Sam, you also have to take care of yourself, because you like to be alone"

"I can't do it. In my head, everything about you keeps spinning all the time. Everywhere I look, there's you."

"Are you thinking about me?"

"...."

"Are you thinking about me?"

"Umm"

"Yes?"

"I miss you, are you satisfied?" She bared her teeth and faced the other way, "I already said it, do you still want to hear something from me?"

I can barely contain this feeling of happiness when I hear it. It was as if my heart was about to jump out of my chest, but I had to endure it, at least she said something good. Let me be happy first because it takes days to make her sensitive to me.

"Do you want me to come back because you just miss me?"

"No one made breakfast"

"No one massages my head"

...

"I have no friends to watch movies with. No one to clean the house, I do nothing"

And the good mood just now vanished into thin air. I looked at her earnestly.

"Is that all?"

"We miss each other. Does it have to be more than that?"

"So you want to come home with me?"

"No"

"What?"

"I don't want to"

"Hey, I have to humble myself to ask you to come home. Don't play games with me. I am Mhom Luang. A Mhom Luang would not do this"

"Then Mhom Luang, please go home. I will stay here forever until I die"

I turned around to prepare to enter Nop's house, but again I was pulled but this time she hugged me tightly from behind. Her heart was pounding against my back, the warmth that spread made me feel like I was losing my mind. I almost melted because I love her so much.

"You said we would grow old together"

"You remember?"

"I don't know. As if I had that sentence in my head, and I said it"

"Is there another sentence?"

"I still can't remember"

"When will you remember?" I let go of her arms around me then turned to meet her eyes. "We will talk again later"

"Mon- mon"

I widen my eyes because that's the nickname she gave me. Even she herself made a surprised face saying that.

"Let's go back to my house, no, our house" she again had a surprised expression on her face. "I have said these words before, they are very familiar"

I was so happy with her memories slowly flowing back that my eyes filled with tears. I'm looking forward to what she will say next.

"Let's go back home... My home"

In the end, those words made me walk back to my own house.

I really wanted to strangle her to death.

 

I probably stayed home so long that my parents started wondering why I didn't come back to live with Khun Sam. When mom or dad asked about it, I would change the subject and then quickly run away to my room. I can't find a good answer.

If I said, we had a fight... It would be a very long fight.

If I said we broke up... It would hurt too much for me.

Khun Sam never said break up with me, but she also didn't say don't stop loving her, and she also didn't tell me that she loves me, so I don't know what to do. To keep my parents from getting too suspicious, I had to go to work.

The next morning I got dressed to go to work. When they found out I was going to take the bus to work my parents asked again why Khun Sam didn't come to pick me up or why I had to go to work. But I didn't answer and just walked away.

This is the first day in many years that I went to work alone. Like my first day, I took the bus through the traffic jam to go to work early in the morning. And so arrived, everyone at work had shocked expressions because they thought I was on leave.

"Well why are you making such a face? I just got back from work".

Yah looked at me and gave me a smile before shaking her head.

"No, I'm just happy and also surprised. Seeing you come to work reminds me of the old days. In other words, you haven't come to work since Khun Sam got sick"

"Khun Sam has recovered. So I can come now"

"That's right, do you know it's not just you who is surprised?"

"Shock?" I said slowly, before I could answer anything, Khun Sam walked out of her office. When she saw me she stopped and looked at me in amazement.

"Mon"

"Hello Khun Sam"

I greeted her with respect not like someone who has been in a relationship for five years. All the employees started looking at us in surprise. Khun Sam walked towards me, was about to say something but then she changed her mind.

"Follow me to my room. There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Yes"

I followed her in silently. The room was closed off, with a dark ceiling that signaled a need for privacy. That beautiful and proud face turned back to me with a surprised look.

"Do you also work here?"

"Yes, I'm still an employee here"

"I never knew"

"Khun Sam, you still don't remember anything, do you? Or do you really not care what I do?"

"What is mockery?"

"I'm telling the truth"

"If you are an employee here, why have you just come?"

"I was taking time off to calm down, now I can think, that's why I came"

"Thinking about what?"

"About, what happens. I will still love people who don't love me"

Khun Sam looked at me, her eyes more excited than I'm used to, she looked down and nodded.

"Yes, let's work together and meet each other" She only answered briefly. I nodded and stood up then said goodbye to go back to work but she held me back.

"Do your job here"

"Yes?"

"Like I said, do it here, even if we are lovers, you still have to follow boss's orders"

"Lover?" I asked, but she gave me an innocent face. I shook my head disapprovingly. "Since I'm your lover, then I can't accept that privilege, I'll do the work at my desk myself. If there's anything you need, you can contact me"

"But..."

"Seeing you are fine, I feel at ease. We will meet later".

I said goodbye simply and left coldly. I feel smart and powerful for turning my back on her. Because usually she's the one who's haughty to me, it's always me who leans towards her. But now I've changed. Our status is not stable, we don't have girlfriends, we don't break up either. Let it be like this first.

After leaving the room, I went back to work. Sitting at the desk as usual, I'm no longer a trainee here, but there wasn't much work to do back then. Since most of the other projects were already done by other people, I just sat there. Looking at thousands of posts on Facebook and asking other people for work to do something. I'm bored, but no one has given me anything substantial except photocopies. This is the disadvantage of long term holidays.

Then the time of boredom is gone. I had lunch at the Som Tam restaurant outside the office with Yah and Chin, who is now her boyfriend.

"Hey Mon, I haven't seen you for a long time. Let's eat together today. I miss you so much"

"Is that true? Wouldn't Yah be jealous you said that?"

"She won't be jealous because we are always together, always divided, she will know if I am wrong or right"

"Do you secretly like me? Let's just say I miss you too" I said that to tease Yah.

But the sound of Khun Sam's cough silenced us all. I think she heard me say those words just now.

"This is the reason why I don't want office workers dating. Because they are busy talking nonsense"

Then they both ran like ants being chased by an elephant. Now, there's only me and Khun Sam at this table. Her straight face always makes everyone afraid, even if she does good, she is still scary to others.

"You've changed the rules. That employees are allowed to have relationships"

"I already knew recently, but Kirk didn't tell me, I changed the rules because of myself" she crossed her arms and looked at me with her cheeks puffed out "Then why do you have the balls to tell others that you miss him"

"I'm just kidding" Her question almost made me scream "I'm not flirting with anyone. He's Yah's boyfriend".

"You know that's inappropriate. Everyone knows you're in a relationship with me."

"And only you don't know" I turned around, saying it was the truth. Why can I say that? Because I want to satirize her. "Besides, it seems that in your eyes, I'm just a slave".

"Do you still remember that matter? I said it because..."

"Because you really think so"

"No, because I can't think of the words. If there were a better word, I would go back in time and say, let's go home, I'm lonely"

I looked into those light brown eyes. She almost made me give up when she said that, but her arrogance and sense of superiority made me still don't give up.

"Later, I want to be alone first"

"Why do you still want to be alone?"

"That's the good thing to do now"

"But it would be better if you come back"

"Are you hungry?" She suddenly changed the subject. I locked eyes with her for a moment, wanted to answer that I was hungry but pretended to be indifferent.

"...."

"Do you have anything to eat?"

"If not, do you want to eat with me?"

"There's something I need to talk to you about"

"Is this going to be the last meal together and then you're going to say goodbye to me?"

"I didn't say that"

"No, I'd better eat with my co- workers to build a good relationship"

"I also want to build a good relationship. So eat with me, in my room. I'll order Grab"

"But..."

"no buts"

"Are you ordering me?"

"When I begged you refused to do so, so I had to order"

That's all she said and walked back to the office. I looked at her angrily. That haughty and arrogant facial expression was so cute. I love her so much. Of course.

When I walked into her room, she was pressing an app on her phone to order food, then sat down and waited on the couch. She patted the sofa next to her to make me sit down. But I prefer to sit on another sofa which is a bit far from her and sit with my back straight. Until the person who patted the sofa slightly gaped. She finally looks at me with crossed arms.

"I ordered food and it will come soon so you can eat good food"

"No matter how good the food is, I won't be able to eat it"

"Diet?"

"No, it depends who you eat with"

"Don't you love me anymore?"

This time, I was the one who was speechless. that sweet face looked straight at me, serious eyes mixed with a hint of anger. "I asked with all my friends. They say that you love me a lot but why today you act as if you don't love me anymore"

"Why do I love people who don't love me? Everything can change"

"It's true, everything can change, even me. One day I really love you, but other days I don't love you"

"...."

"Another day I don't love you, maybe today I do"

The words 'may love you' make my heart flutter. There isn't really a day that goes by that I don't like. But remembering the fact that she kicked me out that day still makes me sad to this day.

"Maybe, my love still hasn't changed"

"Go home now"

"Whose house?"

"My house... Sam's house" She pointed at herself lovingly "Now I'm not used to being alone. The feeling only comes when I eat alone like this"

"Every food I order is not as good as when I eat with you"

"If you go back to being an annoying person, I'm not coming back"

"That day, I chose the wrong word, it was my fault"

"And what position will I be on my return?"

"Position?"

"Don't act like you don't know anything"

"I really don't know"

"Status!"

"Just tell me directly. Don't be ambiguous".

She was a person who had never heard those words.

"If you want to be whatever you want, be whatever you want. Come on, come home with me"

"If I say please, will it make you feel better?"

Her voice is so soft in my heart. I melt like wax on fire. The sweet- faced person slowly approached me before reaching out and holding my hand. She had never approached me like this before since her surgery. Her face looks like a sleep deprived person, even under her eyes look black. I couldn't resist touching her face. Using my thumb to rub under those eyes sadly.

"That sounds better, but I don't want to go back to falling in one- sided love. Loving someone who doesn't love me, it's too painful. Being away from you might make my pain less".

"And you will leave me alone?"

"If you take me home because you're lonely, don't do it. If you feel lonely you can still call your friend to come over. But I'm not your friend, Khun Sam"

"I already told you what I want" She grabs my neck and pulls me towards her until our noses are almost touching "I've never begged like this with anyone before. And now that I do, let's go home"

She leaned her head down hoping for a kiss but I turned around so her lips barely touched mine.

"It's like I said. If loving you still hurts like this, I don't want to go back" I pulled away from her and sighed.

Khun Sam pushed herself away, keeping a straight face, crossed her arms, and twisted her lips haughtily.

"You are too serious"

As soon as she said that, I immediately turned to her. My mood immediately changed.

"Yeah, I can finally understand the importance of losing something. So I won't regret it later. Enjoy your meal, I'll be going"

"I already ordered food"

"Eat with the ghost who died in this office"

"Stop. Come back. This is an order from the boss. It's time for lunch."

I walked carelessly to open the door.

"When will you be my obedient wife?"

She always does anything to get what she wants. I'm about to give up on her, but I'll endure it.

I love her so much.

Jim: If you want to come back, do it.

Mon: But you were the one who told me to be alone first and not give up on Khun Sam.

Jim: Yes, that's true.

Kate: It's confusing, Sam keeps sending me stickers all day and she doesn't say anything, it's frustrating.

Tee: she also sent it to me. Maybe it's about Mon.

I read their messages, I sighed and smiled a little, Khun Sam is back to sending stickers to everyone when she's feeling nervous or needs someone to consult. She always does that but never in person. I can tell by now she feels uncomfortable. Maybe because I didn't do what she wanted.

Jim: she texted me too but I replied, you kicked her out of the house so I'm not going to help you at all.

Jim: How about you Mon, would you like
return?

Mon: I admit I'm very weak, I want to come back but I'm still sad.

Jim: Go back and do the same thing. If she hasn't remembered that she loves you, then come back to flirt with her some more.

Mon: Khun Sam said something like this to me, "come back and be my slave".

Jim: You know Sam right? She's not going to say in person that she wants you home for some reason, so she's pretending.

Kate: I know what Sam said didn't come from her heart, she wants you back but she doesn't know how to do it.

Jim: Also, more and more she already remembers. This time is important, but I don't think you need to worry about it. Married life is not so good.

Tee: That's why I recommended my brother to you. Because I want everyone to do it. As your friend, I don't want you to be single? Mon, don't put too much faith in this crazy idiot.

Jim: You don't pretend to say it's delicious. You yourself, are you really sure. You have seen the example, that having a partner will always have problems, even the PH itself changes.

Kate: Tee, you don't have to listen to it. Everything will be fine. And how about your wedding? What color theme should we use?

Then everyone turned to Tee's wedding story without mentioning Khun Sam again. Now Tee and Yuki are preparing for the event. And it looks like Tee has a lot of work to do. The handsome lady looks very stressed. Maybe it was Jim who made Tee start to panic. But the wedding will go on because the invitation cards have been printed, everything is ready. When I read their messages, another message appears, it's Khun Sam. She sent me lots of stickers. It was a sticker with a weird face pattern that she had just bought as if she wanted to show it off.

Sam: stickers

Sam: stickers

Sam: stickers

Sam: stickers

Sam: stickers

Mon: Nice stickers. Good night.

I typed like that and tried to be quiet, Khun Sam disappeared for a while then typed back. I could literally tell that she was frustrated that she wasn't getting what she wanted.

Sam: Why are you rushing to bed? We haven't spoken yet.

Mon: You don't talk to me, you just send stickers.

Sam: Are my stickers cute?

Mon: Weird and funny, it suits your face.

Sam: I like that.

Mon: I love you.

Sam: If you love me, why don't you come back home?

Mon: Well, because you don't love me at all.

Sam: I love you too.

Mon: If you say love in a kind way sentimental, then just shut up. I'm not coming back just because you said that.

Sam: You don't want this, you don't want that. What should I do? I already said I love you.

Mon: Love is expressed in action, not in words of love just because I wish it.

Sam: Do you know what I'm thinking?

Mon: Oh, you don't want me to come back and live with you?

I smiled reading the message and felt that this is Khun Sam pure version. This feels good.

Sam: Come back. I didn't think anything.

Mon: Well, that's great. I'll talk to Jim first.

Sam: Why talk to them without me knowing? What are you talking about?

Mon: About Tee's wedding.

Sam: I'd love to talk about it.

Sam: Let's go to the wedding.

Mon: You asked me to go with you.

Sam: Yes, I don't want to go there alone.

Mon: Usually, who do you go to the event with?

Sam: With Kirk.

Mon: Go with Mr. Kirk.

Sam: You don't want to reconcile.

Sam: Stickers

Sam: Stickers

Khun Sam kept sending stickers over and over again, expressing her displeasure. I saw what she was doing with a smile. Then put my face near the phone and let my phone continue to vibrate until a call comes in. It was the number, so I answered the call.

[I'm talking to myself. Why do not you reply?]

"I'm sleepy. But looking at your stickers is fun, so keep sending them"

[Did you see my sticker? It's not easy to choose, I bought for delivery, at least it looks]

"Each of them has a face that looks like someone is snapping. Looks good" I laugh and clear my throat.

After a while, my voice will return to normal because she will soon find out that I like her.

[I love to hear your laugh]

Sigh... Sigh...

My heart almost jumped out of my chest. This feeling is like when I fell in love with her in the past. When I didn't expect anything from her, and then suddenly that person did like me. This is a new version of herself.

"Thank You"

I answered curtly because I didn't know what to say, so she paused for a moment and coughed.

[Go to the wedding with me. Consider this request]

"Why?"

[Don't know, but this time, I want to... Well, I want to make peace, and it's a great courage to speak up. Do I have to crawl on my knees and say, "Come with me"]

This time I burst out laughing. I don't know if she meant to be a joke or not. She was literally begging, I could hear her laughing too. Even though it's light, but it's touching.

"You've come this far, I also have to go to the event, but I don't want to just go there".

[Wherever you want to go]

"Okay, I agree to be your partner. Along with being a bridesmaid for Yuki too".

[And at that time... Come home with me]

She said again without hesitation, I smiled gently.

"Wait until that day. We'll see if I come home with you".

 

 

The day everyone has been waiting for has arrived. The day Tee and Yuki's wedding took place. Today I have duties as a bridesmaid. The theme of the show is white and blue. Parties who are friends of Tee will wear white themed dresses. While I was on Yuki's side wearing a blue dress that was very well sewn.

Khun Sam had been waiting for me since 3 am so we could do our makeup and hair at the hotel.

Today she came in a white dress and let her short hair down to her neck. I looked at her standing in front of the house, in that dress, I admired her grace. But I don't want to show it. It doesn't matter what clothes she wears, she still looks beautiful. So far from me.

"You waited long?"

I asked her who was standing with her back to the door with her arms crossed. Khun Sam turned and looked at me from head to toe. Even though she didn't speak but from the look in her eyes, it showed that she was very impressed.

"No, you're just in time"

"Thank You"

"And beautiful too"

"Yes"

"And beautiful too"

"Thank You"

"Beautiful"

"Say pretty"

"You are also beautiful"

"Then let's get in the car"

That's what she wanted, the compliment I should return.

We sat in the car in silence. Accompanied by the loud sound of expensive car engines. Neither one spoke because we are not in a relationship to talk much. The silence stopped because Khun Sam spoke first.

"Talk to me now"

"Yes?"

"It's too quiet"

As expected of her, I didn't want the atmosphere to get gloomy either, but I didn't know what to talk to her about. Her character and appearance return to five years ago. Almost all of them came back except for me who came into her life and she tried to take me back to her house.

"Aren't you tired of following me like this?"

She looked at me and sighed.

"Why should I be tired? Aren't you my girlfriend? It's a job I have to do"

"That's not your job. Being girlfriend and girlfriend is just a situation. We just give each other love and trust, and things will move on with itself. You don't have to push yourself too hard."

"No"

"I really want to do it"

"So, you're saying, since I'm your girlfriend, you assume it's your duty?"

"Yes, like that... But that's not all. I do it from my heart"

The answer is enough to make me smile. I feel her words really come from her heart. She was bolder than usual. At least we can develop, go up one level in my opinion.

"Does same- marriage not seem strange to you?"

"No, why is it weird? That is love, they just want the same rights as a male and female partner"

"Why should marriage be consummated?"

"Because it is a promise and an honor for the couple. They will be sure that their partner really loves and adores them. For example, Tee really loves Yuki so they want to get married. It's the same as me and you in the past. And Tee, she really wants to stop with Yuki. So she wants everyone to be a witness".

"Sounds significant. We've both dated before, do you want to get married?"

"No"

"Didn't you say we were examples earlier?"

"You did propose to me a long time ago. But there are always obstacles until we become like this"

"Do you really love me? You don't regret not wanting to marry me?"

"I won't regret it, because I can't marry you now"

"That means you don't respect me at all, because you don't want to marry me" Her voice turned calm and cold.

I looked at her with narrowed eyes and sighed. It seemed she didn't understand the situation now. "I respect you from elementary, high school, college to now"

"Then why don't you want to get married?"

"Ask yourself. Why don't we get married?"

"I don't remember anything right now"

"So, we'll talk about this later. I don't want to talk about it now, it will put more pressure on you".

We both finally arrived at the hotel around 4am. The bride and groom come together, including makeup artist and hairstylist. Khun Sam and I went to different rooms because Khun Sam was Tee's companion. I was in the same room as Yuki.

When the makeup artist was doing Yuki's makeup, the bedroom door suddenly opened.

"Here comes the cause" Kate was the one who opened the door.

"Hah?" I look at Kate who smiles at me with her arms crossed "What's up, what's
happen?"

"PH kept sending me dozens of stickers until I had to ask her what was going on... She was asking about the past and the present. She really looked frustrated"

"What did she ask?"

"She asked, why don't you guys get married like Tee and Yuki. So I have to tell everything from start to finish that you agreed to get married, before she underwent surgery"

"Oh Kate, you shouldn't have to tell Khun Sam. I was just worried about her so I didn't say anything to her. I didn't want to put too much pressure on her"

"It's a good thing to put pressure on her. What are you afraid of?"

"Then what about Khun Sam?"

"She was sitting quietly. Like a three year old holding her fingers together and talking... I don't remember that"

"Right, that's why I didn't say anything to her"

"Just say it, who knows it might bring up her memories. How long are you going to wait for her to remember. Eight years, ten years, until you guys are old and die?"

"Why wait so many years?" It was Jim's voice. She walked into the room and leaned against the door, coldly crossed her arms and said, "Just two months, if she doesn't remember, then it's over"

"Jim, why do you always talk like that to other people. You really intend to tear people apart. And today is a good day. Can you stop?" Kate scolded her, but Jim felt nothing.

"What I said is true. Love has a duration. No matter how much you love her, you can't always wait. Forever is not true... It happens to everyone Mon. If in two months Sam doesn't remember or love you anymore, better leave her. Life is so boring"

"Stop talking Jim" Kate ordered "Mon and Sam's love is not like your life. It's just temporary memory loss"

"But it seems her love is gone forever" I said sadly.

"Forever it's not true" Kate borrowed Jim's words to use.

"Mon" Jim made a loud voice "I think you better get a new boyfriend today, at this event, there must be someone who will cheer us up. I will find him here"

"Have you forgotten that you have a husband?"

"I don't remember, I also lost my memory. I'm tired of my children, I'm tired of my husband, don't ask that again"

Jim shook her head and headed back to Tee's locker room, Kate shook her head too and followed Jim away.

Everything went well. Now Yuki and I are done with makeup. Today's face and hair make- up is done by professional stylists. Yuki came out in a cream wedding dress. She is the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Everyone looked at her in amazement. I don't know if it's because of the cosmetics or the nice dress. But what is certain is that all of that is supported by her beautiful face. I gave Yuki a smile and shook hands with this bride. This morning's party was very exciting, Yuki looked nervous and excited.

"Why are you sweating so much?"

"I don't know. I'm very happy with this marriage. But when the time comes, I feel worried" Yuki squeezed my hand tightly, her face looked very worried.

"Why should you worry?"

"I don't know how to say it"

"What is it?"

"Lately I feel Tee is very strange, there is something different about her"

"Are you thinking too much? Tee might be worried about work. Or she's also nervous, just like you right now"

"But Tee doesn't look the least bit excited about the wedding. Or is she unsure?"

"If she wasn't sure, this wedding wouldn't happen. Besides, the bride has to remove the worried expression from her face. For you to look beautiful"

"This cosmetic can't help, can it?"

"It helps, but if your brows are furrowed like this it won't look pretty. Keep smiling. There's nothing to think about. I'll always be by your side"

"Thank you Mon"

The hotel's entrance gate opened, Yuki and I leaned against the railing on the second floor to look down. Yuki's face was already starting to show a smile maybe because she was getting excited about what was about to happen.

Tee enters wearing a white suit. She always dressed elegantly, politely and masculine as usual. Tee and her retinue entered through the silver door. Her friends who became her companions sang a song while dancing. Khun Sam who was forced to dance, moved erratically.

My eyes kept looking at her, only at her. Today she is very beautiful in that white dress. In my eyes, she looks more prominent than the others. Khun Sam probably sensed that there were eyes staring at her. She lifted her head and looked into my eyes.

Her eyes can always make my heart flutter.

The ceremony continues until the time comes for the bride and groom to wear rings. This is an important moment, but...

"Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom first"

Tee, who looked nervous spoke to Yuki. The bride nodded and let Tee go. Tee stopped walking for a moment and turned to look at us. I could see there was so much worry in her eyes. Before she disappeared into the bathroom, Kate screamed at her.

"Tee hurry up, you don't have much time to wear a ring"

The handsome girl didn't answer and went behind to go to the bathroom like she said. Now the morning ceremony guests and elders sat and waited while talking. While having fun with today's program, Yuki is still waiting, and we keep looking at the clock because Tee has been in the bathroom too long.

"Is she okay?" Jim said first, starting to feel odd, "It's been too long Kate, you're going to pick her up"

"Why don't you just go? I'm a drama actor. I'm a beautiful woman"

"Then, I am also a beautiful woman"

"Then why don't you go alone?"

"Then, why are you two fighting? If no one wants to go, I will pick her up" said Khun Sam who had been silent all this time.

Khun Sam went to the bathroom to fetch Tee. As she was leaving the sound of message notifications sounded from our phones simultaneously. It was a message from Tee.

Tee: Sorry, you guys don't have to wait.

Those of us who received the message looked at each other. Kate hastily typed back to ask where she was, what she was doing but we did not receive an answer and the number is not active.

Yuki stood there with a pale face, as if knowing her fate. I held her cold hands like someone about to faint.

"Don't think too much, Yuki. Tee maybe
kidding"

"She's not kidding. I've noticed her in the locker room, she doesn't look confident" Jim frowned and shook her head "Now I'll say something..."

"What?"

Jim looked at us all and spoke briefly but clearly.

"damn"

 

"It's all because of you, Jim, that has made Tee confused and indecisive. What are you going to do now? How will Yuki deal with this?"

Kate gritted her teeth at her friend. We turned to Yuki who was standing at the altar. I looked at the sad face of the bride with pity. I don't know what to do with this situation?

Now we're all confused because the message from Tee doesn't seem like a joke. Said she was going to the bathroom and left for over ten minutes. She turned off her cell phone to indicate that she did not want to be contacted.

Where did she run away.

"I'm going to call PH. Has she found Tee yet?" Jim dialed Khun Sam's number, before long she hung up again and turned around shaking her head. "PH Not picking up the phone"

"This party is very big and attended by many guests. How are we going to explain it to them?"

"No need to explain" Jim closed her eyes and opened them again as if she was thinking of a good plan to do now.

"Do you have a plan?"

"You are an actor" Jim looked at Kate, then pulled her in a whisper. Kate seemed taken aback by Jim's whisper and shook her head non- stop.

"I don't want to play them. I just got the Mekhlama Actor Award. I don't want to use my skills for this"

"Because you are famous, they will believe you"

"I can not do it"

"What about Yuki?" Jim uses Yuki to convince Kate.

Kate looked confused now, she massaged her aching head and decided to go for it.

"Oh, I don't know anymore. Why do all my friends always have this much trouble?"

"It's great for you that you're single. Do it
what i said and run".

"I hate you!" Kate ran and disappeared into the crowd.

I don't know what they were talking about, but Kate agreed, maybe that's a good plan?

Now I can only support Yuki so she doesn't faint which will cause more panic. I took her to go looking a seat so she could rest first. Jim who followed, spoke patiently to Yuki.

"You don't pass out just yet. You have to endure it so you don't lose face".

"Jim, what are you two planning?" I asked curiously, but before Jim could respond, a loud scream from Kate at the front door sounded simultaneously. She screamed in great panic.

"Everyone, fire!" Kate's face also looks pale. "You all must flee!"

The guests who came to the event all immediately ran to the exit scrambling. This was so unexpected, and chaos erupted in an instant. Everyone almost stepped on each other to run out. Jim who was standing with her arms crossed while looking at the situation, smiled happily.

"This is what you told Kate? Is this a good plan?"

Jim shook her head.

"No, this is a very bad plan to the worst. I don't want Yuki to lose everything just because my friend cowardly ran away from this wedding... Come on Yuki, we'll go the other way, then you can faint there"

While everyone was crowding in front of the hotel entrance, Jim led Yuki behind to avoid everyone's gaze. I'm still confused, I don't know what to do next?

However, I saw Khun Sam coming with a panicked face. Maybe she was surprised when she heard there was a fire. She ran screaming my name, in a voice I've never heard before?

"Mon!"

Her screams made me see her belongings left on the floor as if thrown and carried away. Even though she was wearing high heels, she was running towards me quickly.

And, suddenly I was lifted onto her shoulders.

"Wow, Khun Sam, what are you doing?"

"Fire, we must escape"

Khun Sam picked me up and led me out through the emergency exit where she had just appeared. She ran down the fire escape to get out of the fire forgetting my heavy body. Now her consciousness was away from her flesh and body, like a person with extreme adrenaline. She could do anything in this situation.

"Khun Sam, calm down. Put me down"

"No, if anything happens I can't leave you"

"Khun Sam..." I was stunned by her words and actions.

Khun Sam finally found an exit and tried to open it, but it wouldn't open. She kicked and kept kicking but the door was so hard.

Embarrassed I covered my face with my hands not knowing how to tell her that none of this was true.

"Is this emergency exit on fire? Why can't it opened?"

She was still kicking hard at the door. I have to stop it.

"Khun Sam... You are very rude and cute"

"Is it time?"

"Let me down first. It's nothing".

"It was a fire, how could it be nothing?"

"Jim and Kate made that mess to get the guests to disperse"

"Khun Sam, put me down"

"No fire?"

"No"

"Oh... You're heavy" she finally noticed I was heavy and then lowered me slowly.

After finding out the whole story is not true. Real feelings are actually starting to emerge. The pain in her shoulder probably came from her carrying me while running.

"What are they doing?" She asked while turning to look at me.

"Tee ran away from the wedding. Jim doesn't know what to do. We have to come up with a plan as soon as possible so Yuki doesn't lose face. So it must be used."

"That's a crazy plan. Just tell the guests face to face that the groom has run off, they'll understand and go home. Why is it so hard to do something so simple?"

"What about Yuki, what are you going to do?"

"Um..." Khun Sam could not deny it. Yeah....Fire is fire, that's not the right thing to do.

Khun Sam looked at me for a moment and then turned me around.

"What about you? You didn't get stepped on or hurt during the skirmish just now did you?"

"They didn't even step on me. Because of Khun Sam...oops"

She suddenly hugged me tightly. Her heart was pounding in my chest. She was silent for so long while hugging me. I shifted my shoulders slightly to signal her to let me go, but she still wouldn't let me go. I can't escape from that embrace.

"My heart is upside down"

"If something happens to you, I don't know what to do. It's a feeling I can't explain at all"

"Khun Sam"

I could feel her concern so I hugged her back. We hugged each other on the fire escape while everyone ran outside. Silence makes us feel that there is only us in this world.

But I realized that we weren't together right now, so I had to go. I coughed a bit and started talking.

"I'm fine. You have nothing to worry about... Can I go now?"

"Do not go"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to meet a lot of people. I just want to be with you, just the two of us"

She reaches out to touch my face and I gently hold her hand. Her voice and demeanor changed markedly. I'm like a fire ready to melt at any moment.

"Let's go home"

"Which house?"

"Our house, no, mine" she pointed at herself like a child, "I thought, I can't be alone anymore"

"You're afraid of ghosts again?"

"I'm not afraid of ghosts in my house. But, I feel like I'm empty. I can't find you anywhere. I've never felt like this"

"I think I really like you"

I was surprised to hear that, actually my heart really agreed with her request. But I'm still worried. Ever since I was kicked out of the house that day, I feel scared. The house is still not ours. Today she might say, she likes me, but what if later she changes her mind again. That's what makes me afraid to slowly my wound.

"Thank you for your kind words. To be honest, I'm still not sure about going back"

"I've said so much and you still haven't returned, should I kneel down and beg?"

"When you kicked me out of the house, you didn't think about it when you did that"

"I'm sorry"

"So if I go back, I don't want it to get any more difficult. You know that nothing is easy in this world"

"Do you still hate me?"

"Never a day have I hated you. I was mad at myself because I love you so much. But I'm afraid of getting hurt again... It hurt so much when I was asked to leave the house. I don't want to be hurt like that again"

"I will never do it again"

"Give me some time to think"

I saw her frown. I try to find the right words to touch her so she doesn't hurt too much and doesn't feel guilty.

I hugged her and rubbed her back.

"We really have to make sure that our lives can't be without each other. At that time, I will be with you forever"

"I'm confused, it was the best thing that could be i did"

"You could probably do even better if you really wanted me back. You can do it"

I softly kissed her cheek and pulled away, letting her stand alone on the fire escape. I walked back to where Jim and Kate were.

The rejection really hurt me.

But I have to do it to make sure and make sure that I won't get hurt again.

And Khun Sam must try even more to convince me again.

 

 

 Now we are all gathered in a hotel hall where there is no one but relatives of Tee and Yuki. Jim was thinking about something while biting her nails. While Khun Sam who folded her arms and raised her head, looked at the other side awkwardly because she failed to bring me back. Kate, seeing that everyone was silent, starts to worry about Tee's disappearance and the mess she just made.

"Why should I go along with this cunning 's plan? Will the hotel come to me and sue me later?"

"Just tell them it was a misunderstanding. You are an actor, cry a little, they will understand"

"It's easy for you to say"

"I feel sorry for Yuki" I saw Yuki who was there with her own relatives feeling cheated and crying together.

"Why did Tee do this?"

"Because of Jim, this Psycho woman, she always talks to make Tee afraid of marriage. How, are you satisfied now?" Kate lifted her leg and kicked Jim's leg because she wasn't calm. Jim screamed and looked furiously at Kate.

"Those are your high heels, they hurt.... I'm telling the truth. She probably saw through my life, so she was afraid to feel the same way. I can't blame her"

"Then what to do next?" Khun Sam who had been silent for a long time while hugging her arm, asked Jim.

"Now we have to find Tee. You and I will go look. Then Mon and Kate, stay here to comfort Yuki"

"Why should Mon stay here? Then why should I come with you?" Khun Sam asked annoyedly, "You made the plan. So you stay here and Mon will go with me" Khun Sam decided for herself. Jim's mouth opened slightly.

"Ohh, there's a hidden plan"

"Speak properly"

"Okay then I'll stay here with Kate. You guys go drive and find Tee where she should be. When you find her bring her back"

"Okay" Khun Sam nodded before grabbing my arm and dragging me away.

"Do you know where Tee went?"

"I don't know, we'll keep driving and keep looking for her, she must be somewhere in the world"

"We have no goal at all? What Is it Good?"

"If we can't find it, forget it"

"Khun Sam, this is important. Aren't you worried about your friend?"

"What do you want to look for? Did you know this would happen?

"How should I know? You are closer to her than I am".

"So there's no need to rush"

I covered my mouth as she spoke in a semi- forced language, but in the end I slowly followed suit. Like a duck that has just hatched and follows its mother without knowing where to go.

Khun Sam told me to get in the car and we finally left. She drives fast like a racer, not like someone looking for a missing person.

I saw someone walking on the side of the road, maybe it was Tee, but I couldn't see her clearly because this car was so fast. Until I had to reach out to touch Khun Sam's arm and told her to slow down.

"Khun Sam, if you drive fast will we be able to find Tee? You act as if you know where she is going"

"She wouldn't walk the streets. If you were the one running away from the wedding, would you be walking? No, would you? You'd probably hail a cab or drive yourself and then disappear."

"Ahh, that's right" I laughed and agreed, "So, where are we going?"

"You'll find out soon enough"

And then, as we neared our destination, I got to know this place very well. Yes of course, because that is the house I used to live in.

I looked at the person who brought me home in confusion. She used the remote control to open the fence before entering her yard.

"Why did we come to your house Khun Sam?"

"Yes? I just want to go home"

"Oh, but we have an assignment to find Tee"

"I didn't find her. If she ran away, she must have gone somewhere we don't know about"

"Then why didn't you tell them when are we still in the hotel? They must be waiting for you to contact them."

"Let those who come to see me, because I'm lazy to do work that I don't want to do. I have another job"

"Then why did you invite me?"

"I invite you to come home with me"

"back to my house"

She just concluded that and walked out of the car. I'm still in the car and won't get out. Until Khun Sam, who had arrived at her doorstep, had to come back and open the door for me and open his hand.

"Should I carry you?"

"I'm not going in, this is not my place anymore"

"Please..."

"Let's  go home"

Seeing her pleading face, my heart goes weak but I won't show it to her. Therefore I have to straighten my face to make it look normal.

"It's hot in the car"

"Yes, but if you enter my house, it will be cold. Because I will turn on the air conditioner for you" She kept talking and walked following me from behind into the house. It was as if she was afraid that I would turn and run away.

As soon as I went inside, Khun Sam rushed to take the AC Remote control and pressed the button to turn on the AC.

"See, I the AC for you too"

"Yes"

"You want some water, I'll get it for you"

"No"

"Let's drink"

She hurriedly went to the kitchen to get some water from the fridge and poured it into a glass then brought it to me. I stood still not moving at all until he had to drag me to sit on the sofa and was forced to take the glass from her hand.

"Drink it, it will cool you down"

"No matter how cold it is, I still don't feel better now. I'm annoyed with Tee"

"Forget her"

"How could you forget? It's your best friend's wedding"

"If she chooses not to marry why force her. Why should we drag her down
return?"

"When she proposed to Yuki, I thought it was a good thing. I didn't know it would end up like this"

"So what would you do?"

"Shouldn't we be looking for her?"

"I don't know where to look for her. I don't have the free time to look for her. I'd better stay with you here" she shrugged "Or even, if we do find Tee, I'm sure she won't be coming back to the wedding. Everything is ruined"

"Then what are you going to tell Jim and Kate?"

"I can not find it"

"You're so easy to say. This isn't funny at all" I said angrily and ended up gulping down the cold water in my hands subconsciously. She who saw that looked really happy and I quickly put down the glass and coughed a bit.

"Haven't you noticed something?"

"What?"

"Look at the atmosphere around you?" She pointed around the house. "Now there are pink accents in the house, pillows, picture frames and flowers"

"Hah?" I didn't notice the change as I walked in, because I kept thinking of Tee.

I began to look seriously around this house.

Khun Sam sure has some pink stuff, though not a lot, but it's there. Unlike when I left.

"Kitty?" I was surprised to see a Kitty doll that didn't match her home "You bought that too?"

"Yeah, pink, I can only think of Kitty and Pink Panther. I think she's more girly, so I prefer Kitty. How do you like it?"

"I don't really like playing with dolls"

"Then what do you like?"

What do I like?

Of course I'm not going to answer that directly, I just shrugged..

"i don't like anything"

"Are you human?... Um, why do I feel so familiar with this line, as if I've said it before?" Khun Sam tilted her chin in thought.

I secretly smiled because of that sentence. She used to tell me at the office, at that time she brought lots of drinks, such as tea, coffee, and others.

"I like you"

"...."

"there is no need to have these items at home"

"If you like me, why don't you come home?"

"I've been kicked out and I'm not thinking of going back"

"How about I buy a new house? I'm rich"

"You don't have to do that. It's a different matter anyway!"

"Then what should I do to get you back? I've tried to do everything as best I can. I don't know why you are so stubborn".

"Why do you want me back so much? You don't love me at all"

"I..."

"Or do you already love me?"

"No"

The answer made me a little dizzy.

"You wanted me to come back because you're scared of ghosts. You really love having me as your maid. Making breakfast for you, sweeping, mopping, making beds, changing sheets, like that, right?"

"I don't see you as a servant"

"Then what is it like?"

"Like... I don't know... But I never thought of you like a maid, I just... just..." She fumbled around as if trying to come up with an explanation. "I'm not sure how I really feel about you... But I can't be without you"

Sigh... Sigh...

"When I heard that there was a fire I panicked so much, all that was in my head was thinking what to do to keep you safe. If anything happens to you... I will feel bad"

"How bad?"

"Maybe, I will die"

Just when I opened my mouth to say something about this matter, Khun Sam's door opened. We turned our heads together and saw Tee walking in with a sigh.

"Sam is still Sam. You say you will die, but you still don't say you love her. That speech disease that doesn't suit your heart, when will it go away? I thought it was gone"

"Tee" I almost jumped when I saw that it was her.

Khun Sam sat and looked at her friend's face and then sighed.

"Why did you come here?"

"No Khun Sam, you should have asked how she got here" I hurriedly interrupted but Khun Sam made a disapproving face.

"If you want to run away, run somewhere else. Don't come here, this is my private space and I don't like people coming to my house, it drives me crazy" she stood up and crossed her arms. "And you also interrupt when I'm talking about important matters"

"I ran away from the wedding, and that's fine with you?" Tee nodded, and looked at me "I don't know why Mon loves you, how can people be like this?"

"Okay Tee, nice to meet you. Now you can go back to your marriage and solve the problems you have created. Other people also have their own problems" Khun Sam then turned to look at me, "I was busy convincing someone to come home and you didn't show up on right time"

"I'm not going back there. At first, I thought I would hide outside your house for a while. But when I heard what you said just now, I couldn't take it anymore, so I showed my face".

"Tee, come back. Jim and Kate are still there, and Yuki is really freaking out right now" I almost cried begging her to come back.

"I've run away, I can't come back anymore"

"Tee"

"I already told them that you guys found me. I came to hide here for a bit because I don't know where to go. I'll be leaving later".

"Where are you going?"

"Hurry up and go now, I'm not done talking to Mon"

"Khun Sam!" I shouted angrily at the person who didn't care about the problem that her friend ran away from marriage.

"What?"

"I just call your name"

"I thought you had something to say. But that's okay, because I have something to say... Come back home and stay with me. I want to be with you always"

"Tell her straight up that you like her and love her, that's it, she'll definitely come back. Why are you always running around in circles?" Tee laughed which made Khun Sam's face tense up.

"shut up"

"Why not just give up for Mon to come back"

"I don't like"

"Then I won't be back" I replied.

"Mon!" Khun Sam was restless and shouted my name like I did earlier when I snapped at her.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything. I just called your name"

"If there's nothing to say other than take me back, I'll go home with Tee" I immediately walked towards Tee but my arm was caught by Khun Sam.

"You're home, where are you going?"

"I'm taking Tee back to the wedding. We'll talk later" I let go of her hand. Then invite Tee to leave but she shakes her head.

"I'm not coming back. I've decided I'm not going to get married. I love Yuki, but not as much as you and Sam, so this wedding isn't going to happen. I'm leaving now"

"Yes, go quickly" Khun Sam quickly said that.

"To PH... If you don't say that you love Mon, then you won't..." Tee walked towards Khun Sam and whispered something. Khun Sam's eyes widened hearing what Tee whispered and his ears turned red.

"Ah... you stupid ert, I don't... No..."

"At least you don't deny it outright. You love Mon. Talk to her face to face, trust me, Mon will come back and you can do what I said just now"

Tee laughs and goes out of the house. I looked at Tee and Khun Sam confused.

"Khun Sam, hold your friend, don't just stand still, do something"

"Mon"

"What? You just wanted to call me?"

"Not me..."

"I thought I loved you"

My head went blank when I heard that.

What did Tee say to her that she agreed to tell me she loved me so easily, even though she tried to avoid it to death at first.

"Khun Sam"

"Tee said, if I say I love you...I will immediately do that... With you"

"Wow"

I want to chase and curse Tee.

But it's too late... she's gone from here.

 

"You figured it out why don't you just hold it down PH, you're ineffective" Kate shouted, her arms crossed and a displeased look on her face.

But Khun Sam didn't care at all the others then shrugged her shoulders, and looked at her nails nonchalantly.

I called them to let them know that we have found Tee at Khun Sam's house. I asked them to come to Khun Sam's house.

"People who run away, do you think they will come back again?" Khun Sam as usual didn't care, she didn't want to bother holding Tee.

"At least hold her a little longer so we can talk and discuss what to do next. You know, after I screamed how big the fire was at the hotel they sued me for damages"

"But the Tee family is already responsible to the hotel. They understand that you are doing it to save face. I will side with PH, even if she made a mistake. I love this wife of mine, even though she already has a wife" Jim put her hand on Khun Sam's shoulder and lean. "Darling, don't be sad. You have done your best"

"Ihh, I'm getting goosebumps, let go of your hand and stay away from me" Khun Sam turned her eyes to look at me "Other people will misunderstand"

"Oh, in front of your wife you act dignified. Mon knows I'm only joking... But how do you know that Tee will come to your house?"

"I don't know"

"I asked you to look for her, you came home and found her"

"In the first place, I didn't intend to look for Tee" She looked back at me and smiled at the end her lips "I want to make peace with my wife"

"Speaking casually, who is your wife?"

"I'm her wife" Jim was the one who answered Kate's question.

"You guys are so noisy, stop complaining and go. My house is getting messy after a while" Khun Sam still cherishes her house as before, she never liked anyone playing in her house. But her friends didn't listen, they kept lying and rolling on the couch like teasing.

"What do we do next? Tee's gone, and Yuki, I don't know how to handle it. She's already drowning in tears" Kate sighed. "If she doesn't want to get married, why not canceled it before the event started. All my friends always complicate their love life. One is about to divorce her husband, another doesn't know how to reconcile with her own wife, the other is running away from marriage. Am I the only normal one?"

"Stop complaining already. She only ran away for a moment, surely she will come back later, it won't be long. Tee just didn't want to argue in her house, so she ran away and hid. Trust me, it won't last long and she will show up to us" Jim commented as if she wanted this story.

"It's easy for you to say"

"And what can you say?"

"I told you to stop arguing and go home now. My head hurts and my house is a mess" Khun Sam still cares about the cleanliness of her house.

"There's no point in me going home, but it's also pointless to stay here since you're totally useless," Kate said sarcastically, then got up from her seat. "When there is progress, we will all meet again"

"I still want to disturb PH a bit more. But when I see her face, I will go home"

"Me too. Jim, I'll get in your car and get off in front of the alley. I'll call a taxi there." I was silent for a long time after listening to them all asking for a ride.

Khun Sam who heard that, grabbed my arm and frowned.

"Why are you also going?"

"Why should I stay?"

"Well..." She awkwardly looked at her friends. She wanted to say something but was embarrassed that they were there. "The house was clean before, but now it's dirty because of them"

"Do you see me as a servant?"

"No"

"So?"

"Helper?"

"Why does she always talk like a fool?" Kate scratched her head.

When I heard Khun Sam say that, I was annoyed. So I spoke in a pounding voice.

"Khun Sam, I will feel better if I go with the two of them, it feels more comfortable. I also don't want to make your house messy. See, when I'm not in this house, everything looks clean. It's like a maid from the palace came to sweep mopping and cleaning"

"But the house is pink!" Khun Sam said desperately, "Because the house is pink, you have to live in it. It's not pretty, but I made it for you. You should be satisfied"

"I'm satisfied, I'm happy with your creativity... But, I'll be back with Jim and Kate" I didn't give up.

Jim who was annoyed, turned towards Khun Sam and spoke loudly and clearly.

"I'll say it to your face"

"What do you mean?"

"When she loves you, you don't appreciate it at all. Then, when she leaves you, you act like an innocent dog who keeps crying begging her to come back"

Jim seemed satisfied that now all the couples were not together. She hugged me and took me outside from home. Khun Sam followed me like a duck following its mother. I stopped, she stopped, I walked, she walked, until we got to the car. When I wanted to get into the backseat, Khun Sam suddenly grabbed my hair.

"Ouch"

"Hurt? Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose"

"Then why don't you let go of my hair?" I glared at her furiously. She hastily removed her hand and smiled dryly.

"My hands are moving on their own... But, are you really going?"

"YES"

"Of course?"

"Of course"

"Don't follow me"

"I'm not following you"

"Simple"

"Proud"

"Keep singing until the end. Kate and I will sleep here and wait. Take your time as much as possible. We can wait very comfortably here, very comfortable, please" Jim who sat holding the steering wheel, waited with a sarcastic tone.

I made an awkward face and immediately apologized to them and quickly said goodbye to Khun Sam.

"I really have to go"

Khun Sam could only be silent and did not speak anymore. She finally let me go. I watched in the rearview mirror, feeling weak. I miss her so much, I want to be back with her. But her arrogance got in the way of me.

"You don't need to be so harsh, PH is still confused by all of this. She's still holding it in " Kate turns to talk to me and looks at me with pity. "Her face is like a lonely dog"

"You don't need to be soft- hearted. She didn't hold you back at all when you were gathering your clothes and going out of her house that time. Who did she think she was, just told you to leave" Jim said with emotion. "The more you think about being a husband, the more you have to do. Don't throw your wife out of the house like that"

"Is that why you separated all the couples?"

"Anyone who wants to be my friend must be single"

"Well, that's weird, luckily my relationship didn't work out. If you succeed, you will definitely make other people bad too, you devil"

"Ha ha ha ha"

"You are crazy"

I listened to them talk and smiled, but inside my heart were ten million words I wanted to say. After saying so many things to Khun Sam, I was so weak, I almost hugged her. But she always told terrible words. So I had to get in the car and leave.

It's okay, Khun Sam can live alone without me before. And always will be.

Three days passed and the situation didn't seem to be improving. Tee still missing no contact. As for Yuki, after a long silence, she finally contacted me instead of the others, maybe because they were Tee's friends. I'm the one in the same situation as her, that is, being the girlfriend of a groupmate.

"I've cried enough" Yuki made a video call. I noticed her eyes were swollen, so I asked about her condition. "There will be no more crying"

"Are you all right now?"

"Still not one hundred percent, but I'll know when it's enough" she forces a smile at me and sighs.

I looked at her a little worried but she seems like a person who can deal with her own feelings well.

"So what are you going to do next?"

"I don't need to do anything. I'll stop and maybe have a new one too"

"Are you sure you want to stop?"

"Trouble has gotten to this level Mon. What should I do but stop?"

"I can't answer the same, but for sure, I'm sorry"

I answered sober because my situation is different from Yuki. If Khun Sam doesn't come to the wedding, I don't think she's run off, but there must be trouble. I believe she loves me more than running away like that.

"Mon, you are a very optimistic person. If Khun Sam does it, you will definitely give her a chance"

"We've been through a lot together"

"Yes, while me and Tee, we are together without any hindrance. Why did it have to be like this?"

"Never mind, don't compare them to each other"

"If your love is so light, why don't you make peace with Khun Sam?"

Such a heartbreaking question made me unable to answer it too. It's like asking me to come back home. I still have pride, or am I just trying to play a prank on her because I feel loved all the time?

"Be careful, she might get desperate and out of control" Yuki warned.

I pursed my lips slightly, starting to panic, but I held back my arrogance and shrugged.

"If she's desperate, that means we're not a couple...

Oh wait a minute, Jim messaged me" I stepped away from Yuki's screen to read Jim's message personally greeting me.

Jim: Mon, let's go tonight.

Mon: Yes? What's your mood, Jim?

Jim: The mood of a single woman is ready fly with sound and light in this world. If we don't have a partner, we can do anything, wahaha.

Mon: I'm not single.

Jim: Right now you are single and you should bring Yuki too.

Mon: I'm talking to Yuki now.

Jim: Great, tell her we're going out tonight to entertain ourselves and flirt with the boys. When you're not comfortable with women, you might feel comfortable with men.

Mon: I'll ask Yuki first. But, where will you see the men? Where are you taking us?

Jim: I'll take you to the Host bar!!

 

 

We finally came to Jim's favorite bar. Kate came to the bar covered for fear that people would recognize her. She was wearing a hat, sunglasses and a mask, but she had no idea what she was doing more to intrigue others. They would look at her and wonder who she was. Yuki, who also wanted to go, asked me to come with her, she felt happy when her friends asked her to go for a walk and didn't think about what I felt. I'm not at all comfortable coming to these 'host bars', nor have I ever done that. I wasn't really okay with Khun Sam, but I didn't stop loving her at all. I feel like I did something wrong. I loved her but forced myself to come to a place surrounded by lots of men wearing Monokini over pole dancing.

"Mon, don't make that face. The dancers will feel bad" Jim said as she watched me keep my head down and look at the glass of liquor in my hand before lifting my chin and looking down at the groin of the dancers above. "Today, we come to have fun"

"But I don't feel happy at all..." I answered slowly, "I came to accompany Yuki"

"Then you should be happy for your friend. Make your heart happy"

"How can I be happy? It's not at all my place. Besides, I like women. Yuki won't be happy either, right?" I turned to ask my friend's opinion. The girl who just heard the question shook her head. "No, this is fun. The lights are twinkling."

I raised my hand to cover my face embarrassed to hear Yuki say that. Especially Jim she seems happier than anyone on the planet.

"Have fun Mon. Think of it as your first experience"

"If she finds out, she will definitely be angry"

"You guys have split up, haven't you?"

"That..." I couldn't say anything. "I will never stop loving her. And coming here to see something like this is a betrayal. I like women after all. So I'm not really interested in this".

"All of us sitting here like women too, and PH is still the only one in my heart. I haven't forgotten her at all"

"Oh, Jim, don't be kidding me" Kate interjected.

"I'm telling the truth! I still like her even though she has a wife".

"Oh, so you're planning on taking your friend's wife to see men dance on a pole and stuff money in their underwear so they have problems and then split up. Can you stop meddling in other people's business?" Kate said like she was serious and Jim raised her hand and slapped her friend hard on the head.

"I asked her to have fun. We should all have fun. Those who don't have fun will be punished"

"What's the penalty?"

"Sandwiched by two men"

Can you guess who lost? Of course it's me.

After Jim had had her fun and paid them off by shoving money into the underwear of men dancing on a pole, she led us to a wide table in the distance. She ordered a lot of alcohol and mixed drinks on the table. But not only that, there were also some youths with good body shapes. They were all sitting around us, and I was sat in between two men who were mixing alcohol and and kept making me drink it all the way down.

"I can't drink anymore. Drinking too much will make me sick"

"Do me a favour, the more you spend
this drink the more income I get"

"Okay, I'll drink it" Kate who saw me uncomfortable took over the drink. She felt pity and asked the young man sitting beside me to talk. "How did you come to work here?"

"I come from another city..."

This is how the story goes, the young man's name is Mike, he works here to pay off all his debts. But the stories of other young people are sadder, such as parents separating, having younger siblings to send to school, dropping out of school midway, and leaving the city to find work in Bangkok. There are also those who want to be is an actor because of his looks, but the entertainment industry isn't that simple, his money runs out in the end. They didn't know what to do so they chose to host here.

The stories are almost like novels, having each chapter in an oval arrangement and rewritten with their own idioms. I'm used to this story, Mike is out of debt, so I'm not really interested. Except for Yuki who kept taking tissues because she couldn't stop crying and was willing to take money from her wallet to give to the young man sitting next to her with pity.

"Even if the money isn't much, save it. Think of it as snacks for your younger siblings."

"Yuki really loves other people" Jim praised with applause.

In the end, Yuki had adapted very well here, and was left with only one person...

"Mon, make your face fun"

"I already drank it" I saw Jim who kept looking at me "I don't have any money to give"

"Take my money and learn to make yourself rich" Jim took a wad of cash out of her wallet and placed it in my hand. I looked at the tens of thousands of dollars in my hand confused.

"Why are you giving me this money?"

"For distribution, when we become givers we will feel appropriate and have fun. Give it a try"

"But I do not..."

Finding money is very difficult. Who brings money here just to sit and give it away.

"Try Mon, But give artistically and you'll find out how much fun it is to be a giver"

"I don't want to do it"

"I love it, anyone can change"

"No I will never change" I said firmly but Jim smiled at the corner of .

"Drink three more glasses and things will change"

Jim still forced me to drink and I finally gave in. I already knew that booze would change my habits. From being nervous at first, now I'm even more comfortable and laughing with my younger siblings sitting next to me. Even if their jokes are dry it's easy for me to laugh. I've been like crazy.

Then why? Why do I have to think so much? Now I consider myself a single who can do anything.

While having fun with this youngsters entertainment suddenly the bar manager walked up to us. He whispered something to the boy sitting next to me then they both got up and left. Although a bit confused, I didn't ask anything. But not with Jim who has paid a lot of money. She immediately protested at the manager loudly almost over the sound of the music in the bar.

"Where are you taking the kids? We're still having fun"

"I really have to apologize. But... uh..."

"Uh what?"

"There are VVIP customers who want both of them, I can't refuse"

"VVIP? I don't care who it is, whoever comes first has to get them, you piss me off" Jim stood up and her hands rested on her waist like a woman ready to argue. "Who is the VVIP? I often come here myself, am I not considered a VVIP too?"

"Uh... How should I put it? I can't persuade her".

"No matter how high the rank I don't care. I'm the first one who came so I should be served first. Take me to that VVIP, I want to see her face"

"It's okay, Jim. I'm fine" I saw her emotions rising, quickly got up and asked her to compromise, "There's something else, we can still have fun"

"But I paid a lot for you to have fun. What kind of VVIP can ruin it? Who is she? I'll take a look"

Jim led the manager even though she didn't know which table. I who was shocked hurriedly followed her to ban her. Even the manager himself tried to dissuade her. Jim, who was impatient, just in time followed the two young men who went to the VVIP table.

"Who dared to steal my children... Oh Ghost!!!" Jim stopped and gasped in surprise when she saw who it was. I was just as shocked when I saw that person.

"Khun Sam!?"

Yuki, who had been chasing us earlier, was also surprised to see who the VVIP guest was.

Khun Sam who sat expressionlessly looked at us and there was also Tee who looked uncomfortable with her surroundings. She waved to us.

"Hi" Of course Tee greeted Yuki with a smile as dry as someone whose blood doesn't flow because of her mistake.

But Jim didn't care, she immediately shouted at the bar manager.

"So this is the person who said that she has a high position!? I thought she was a general. Do you think she is a VVIP?"

Khun Sam hugged her arm and spoke in a cold voice.

"Jim, don't be loud, I'm having fun"

"Oh now your face looks so happy" Jim quipped "How did you get here?"

"Drive"

"Heh! There are no coincidences in this world. And it's also impossible for you to coincidentally come and grab the men flanking Mon"

Jim's words made me want to smack her on the head. Is she crazy! I never thought about going out with a guy, how did Khun Sam feel when she heard that?

Of course, when she heard that word her expression turned cold and looked at me even more coldly.

"Then I also have to apologize for disturbing your happiness because these two children will be here with me"

When I heard what she said, I became jealous. She already had me, and how dare she say that to a young man. I was too intimidated by het that I even thought about winning them over.

"But, Khun Sam, you came late, why take our children?"

"Being poor is not good. If you want them, take them with your money"

Because she knew I had nothing dhe boldly said that. Jim, who couldn't bear to hear it, raised her voice like a rich man who wouldn't budge.

"That's fine, I'll be the sponsor for Mon"

When she said that Khun Sam looked at her friend with sharp eyes like a knife.

"This matter has nothing to do with you"

"There is a connection, because I was the one who brought Mon here. I can't lose face. Who are you to not let Mon go with those young men? I will fight for my own pride."

The word 'let go' embarrasses me, but since Khun Sam can do it I have to do it too and forget my embarrassment. I stood up straight and pointed at one of the young men sitting beside her, I didn't really care who it was I know that he is the young man who sat with me earlier.

"I want him"

"Okay, I'll give it to my sister. Tell me the price, how much do you want?"

I looked at the face of the young man who seemed to be happy because it was going to be auctioned.

"Five thousand, is it enough?"

"Ten thousand" interrupted Khun Sam with a relaxed face.

Jim told me to fight back because she didn't want to lose.

"Twelve thousand" I bid humbly since I don't own the money. But Khun Sam returned to fight.

"Fifteen thousand"

"Twenty thousand" this time it was Jim who replied, she crossed her arms and a smile tugged at the corners of .

The youngsters who were being auctioned off with ever- increasing values looked left and right excitedly as his increase amount was getting higher and he was about to be with two beauties.

"Thirty thousand"

"Forty thousand" Jim is still fighting Khun Sam has no regrets no matter how much money they have take it out. Khun Sam rolled up her sleeves and straightened up. As someone would like won this auction.

"Fifty thousand"

"Seventy thousand"

"One hundred thousand!"

Tee, who had been sitting quietly, stabbed Khun Sam to say that was enough. Now I'm sad because I feel that Khun Sam really wanted that young man because she was willing to spend a lot of money.

"One hundred and twenty thousand"

"One hundred fifty thousand"

"Two hundred thousand"

"Two hundred and fifty thousand"

"Three hundred thousand"

"You don't want to give up, do you? Fine, I'll give up everything... Five hundred thousand"

"Five hundred and fifty thousand"

I couldn't stand listening to her anymore, I stood up and looked at her with tears flowing. I was so annoyed I had to tug at Jim's shirt to tell her to stop.

"It's okay Jim, let Khun Sam get it. I'll take someone she didn't choose. You don't have to pay a fortune"

Finished speaking, I sarcastically walked towards the other man who was embracing her.

"I will choose this man. I don't care anymore"

I took the man before her eyes and walked back to our own table. But Khun Sam slowly followed me and grabbed my arm to look back and she looked at me angrily.

"Follow me"

"Khun Sam!"

She dragged me out of the bar and got to where her car was parked she tried to push me into the car but I held on.

"Don't mess with me. I'm not going, I don't want to go home with you"

"You must know why I did that"

"You want to win and you want the boy too. Have you lost your mind?"

"Yes, I want to win, but I don't want the boy, I want the person in front of me"

"If you don't want it, then why are you bidding at such a high price?"

"If I don't win, you will be with them! I can't take it anymore!" She snapped at me though not very strongly. I smiled through my teeth and pushed her away, but she stood still and pulled me into her arms tightly.

"Don't hug me, I'm disgusted, I don't want to live with you anymore"

"Why do you have to come here? Why do we have to do this? I've been begging and begging you to come home, but you still don't want to and instead come to the bar like this!"

"I've come to keep Jim company!"

"Then who are the two children sitting on either side of you?"

"They came to comfort me"

"You can call them to comfort you. Why can't I do that too?"

I fumbled around not knowing how to answer anymore, so I chose to remain silent. She then moved away from me and walked back and forth.

"Because I didn't really think about doing it, but you made such a big offer because you wanted them to stay by your side hanging out together until you're satisfied"

"I did it so no one would come near you. It's just that I don't know why I did it"

"Then why did you do it?, it hurts"

"You yourself, do you think I'm not hurt?"

"Why are you hurt? You don't love me one bit, but act like I'm yours"

"Yes, you are mine. Though I still can't remember anything. I know you are mine and I am yours"

"Why should it be so hard to say how you feel. If you feel like it's your duty to take responsibility just because I used to be your girlfriend. I give you total freedom"

"I will let you go"

“Mon” she closed her eyes as if she was about to lose her temper then looked at me with her eyes filled with sentimentality and pain “Why did you have to hurt my heart like this?”

"I didn't hurt your heart, I'm just telling the truth"

We looked at each other for a while, and finally she sighed.

"only you..."

"I was also thinking of letting you go"

After saying that, she circled back to her car. Khun Sam sat in the car and didn't move for a few seconds. Then she turned to look at me, closed the window, started the car and drove away.

As for me saying that, feeling numb. My head is completely numb. In the past, she was the one who approached me and compromised on everything. But today she said it and it took me by surprise. I started to think back, maybe I had gone too far. I did it because I wanted her to think harder to remember. But she prefer to give up?

Is it the day?

The day we stood face to face and told each other to let go even though we loved each other.

She seemed to have given up on chasing me.

Yes, she must have given up.