Karina willed herself to look back, urging herself to reminisce every single memory. Reminding herself how this is what she had vowed to keep choosing — to forever love Winter. She swore, swears, and will always swear, to diminish the words cannot and no more. Love will prevail to exist and will always come back when it comes to Winter. Only Winter.

Karina deemed it way too impossible when people told her that. She just can’t seem to see it. For her, it is never bound to happen. She’s just way too in deep. She is in love with Winter and even just the thought of all the sparks fading was something she doesn’t want to ever entertain nor let it linger.

Could it be possible? Losing this overflowing warm feeling inside her, to the point that she feels like exploding, whenever she’s around Winter? Not just around. Even just by the thought of her. Even when she’s not there. She just has it. The feelings would just never go away. Sometimes words just dissipate and she couldn’t even describe it. And of course, Karina knows better than to just keep it. Since the beginning, she had already vowed. Winter would feel it. Winter would always know. Winter would never even have to ask.

And yet, now, she asks why. She just couldn’t wrap her head around it. It was like nothing had changed but everything did. It was the same reasons she loved waking up to, and she stared and waited, yet the water only felt still.

They were wrong though. It doesn’t fade, at least to her. She knows she loves her. It’s still there. Like she said, it just won’t go away. Karina loves Winter. But why? Why does it feel like a love she’d never known before. It’s something she wasn’t used to. Suddenly, she doesn’t feel like exploding. It wasn’t giddy and exciting. Her cheeks don't hurt as much from smiling.

Still - like you feel the waters yet it just won’t come crashing.

Karina thought she’d known and felt everything about them… Then this. It just wasn’t how she had loved Winter. But she insisted. She just knows. She can still feel it. Karina loves Winter. She will always love her.

She just can’t seem to think of anybody else. It’s crazy for her, a sin - to choose another. She simply just can’t. Not ever.

Almost.

Loving can hurt

Loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only thing that I know

When it gets hard

You know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

Karina knew it could hurt. After all, love and relationships aren’t all just rainbows and butterflies. She didn’t expect it, of course. It was just inevitable. People hurt, people cry, people fight, people lie.

No. She did not lie. She could never do that to Winter. It was something they, as much as possible, both said each other should not do.

That’s why it hurts. Yet Karina didn’t know it could hurt this much.

“What?! You two broke up?”

Aeri almost stood up. She had probably never imagined it happening. And honestly, neither did Karina.

“No. We’re… we’re on a break. It’s different.”

Karina sighed. She had thought about why she did it in the first place. It's just…

“I just… We… We aren’t here anymore, Gi.”

“W-What did you say?”

“Don’t you think we should take a break?” Karina repeated.

It took Winter a moment to speak. She was looking at Karina, brows furrowed. Her eyes flooded with emotions Karina wasn’t sure she could decipher.

She had known Winter more than half of her life and not being able to read her now, even before this moment, scared Karina. It was one… one of the why’s she had been noticing. And she felt so bad thinking she’s just letting it happen.

“Why?” Winter finally opens , her eyes finally landing on Karina.

“Minjeong…”

Karina honestly did not want to talk. She isn’t sure she would know what to say. But it’s Winter, and she never hides anything from Winter. She never lied to Winter.

“I am asking why, Jimin.”

“I am getting scared, Minjeong. This feels different. I… I know you can feel it too. Am I the only one feeling it?”

Winter does not speak yet she keeps her eyes on Karina. The older girls took this as a sign to continue.

“Don’t get me wrong. I still love you. Heck, I don’t think I can even love another as much as I do with you. It’s just that… We’re never here anymore. We… We’re just doing the things we do, and we come home, here, but our minds are at different places. I feel like we’re starting to take different paths. We don’t even look at each other as much as before. We’re too tired to even talk about what we’re really feeling, about our thoughts. Winter… This…It’s–”

“Minjeong– I… I can’t watch us turn out like this.” Winter invades the space beside her, putting her hand above hers. “Minjeong, I’m afraid.”

“Are… are you breaking up with me? Jimin, do we have to break up?” Winter took the courage to ask.

Karina’s eyes widened at what she heard.

“No! What- Never! I… We…”

It would kill her.

“You think we need some time off alone? Get ourselves back on track?” Winter finishes.

“Minjeong… I’m not even sure if it’s the right thing. I just—” Karina sighs, tears already b in her eyes. “... Even when this could hurt us, I just want to be ready again to continue loving you.”

“I can never unlove you. I just need… to figure things out about myself, again.”

She knew Winter understood her. Winter wasn’t really a person who would say a lot. She prefers to listen, to take care of her silently, to always catch her. But Winter isn’t also someone to be just a pushover. Winter always knows what she wants and what she can’t accept.

“Okay.”

“... Okay?”

“Let’s do it. But you have my word, Jimin… You’ll always have a home in me.”

Karina lets Winter touch her. She closes her eyes, leaning into the girl’s warm hand. She felt the light touch of Winter’s lips on her forehead and that’s when her tears started to fall.

“I know we don’t know what could happen. But can I ask?”

“What?”

“Please come back to me.”

Karina knows that she has to. Because just as she said, it would kill her if she doesn’t.

Again.

Loving can heal

Loving can mend your soul

And it's the only thing that I know

I swear it will get easier

Remember that with every piece of you

And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

“Hi…”

All the nervousness Karina felt before she arrived dissipated the moment the door opened. Seeing the familiar glinting eyes, suddenly, she felt lighter.

“You’re– Jimin-”

The woman in front of her mirrors the smile on her face, eyes welling up with tears they thought they all had already shed during their time apart.

“You’re home.”

They almost stumble as Winter pulls her into a tight tight hug. The girl even nuzzles her face against Karina’s neck. The older girl felt her shirt getting wet. And again, she swore. She just can’t ever let herself be the reason for her lover’s tears. At least not for a heartbreaking reason.

“I’m home, my love.”

Beginning.

We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

Times forever frozen still

“Hi! You can call me Jimin.”

“You’re pretty, Jimin. I’m Minjeong.”<