Chapter 18

Heartbreak Recipe
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Winter woke up to the sound of water splashing outside the balcony. Wala rin si Karina sa tabi niya.

 

She turned to her left and checked the time from the digital clock: almost 2:00pm pa lang. Her gaze moved towards the movement from the balcony, and she almost got choked by the air.

 

Si Karina naman kasi...

 

Nagsi-swimming.

 

At hindi lang basta nagsi-swimming and napakagandang assistant manager... Nagsi-swimming siya nang suot ang one-piece swimsuit na binili ni Winter para sa kanya.

 

She admired the beauty, not wanting to get up dahil gusto lang niyang panoorin si Karina.

 

Winter gave herself a high-five dahil perfect sa katawan ng private chef ang pinili niyang swimwear. Sobrang pronounced ng at s nito sa suot kaya napapakagat-labi na lang si Winter.

 

“Akala mo hindi ko napapansin na tinitignan mo ‘ko?” Karina shouted from the pool. “Ang y ko, ‘no?” Nag-pose pa ito na parang model sa kalendaryo ng Tanduay. “Pakak.”

 

Kinuha ni Winter ang phone niya, “Isa pa. Picturan kita.” Walang pag-aalinlangan na sumunod si Karina, posing like her life depended on it. “Gawin kong wallpaper..”

 

“Gaga ka. Mamaya masipat-sipat yan ng fans mo.”

 

She likes that Karina is aware of those kinds of things. It just means na walang problema sa kanya ang maging cautious when it comes to her relationship with Winter.

 

Relationship?!

 

“Pero gusto ko..”

 

“Fine. Pero pag-uwi sa Manila, palitan mo na ulit. Mukha ni Mama Mary, kamukha ko naman ‘yon.”

 

She laughed at the silliness of the girl, “Can I join? Sa pool? Patapos ka na ba?” Pansin niya kasing nagpupunas na si Karina ng towel... Napapatuwad pa nga ito pag may inaabot sa floor.

 

Napapa-iwas na lang ng tingin si Winter dahil ayaw niyang magmukha siyang ert.

 

“Mamayang gabi na lang, mag-swim ulit ako. May parasailing pa tayo, ‘di ba? Tapos sabi mo nag-rent ka rin ng jetski,” Karina is now drying her hair.

 

Parang ayaw na pala ni Winter ng mga activities... Parang gusto na lang niyang dito sila sa room, tapos magkwentuhan at magtitigan maghapon at magdamag. Though para namang tanga ‘yon.

 

“Okay, I’ll change na rin sa CR. ‘Wag ka nang magpalit, just wear the see-through thing that I bought kanina pampatong sa swimsuit mo,” tumayo na siya dahil kung magi-stay siya na nakatingin lang kay Karina, baka tuluyan na siyang maulol sa babaeng ‘to.

 

Hindi masyadong showy si Winter sa kanyang skin nung nag-uumpisa pa lang siya sa k-pop industry, but as she got older, naging bolder na rin ang choice of outfits niya especially kapag lumalabas.

 

That’s why hindi na siya nag-alinlangan na kuhanin ‘yung swimwear niya at isuot ito after maligo. Si Karina lang din naman ang kasama niya dito, so walang problema.

 

She looked at herself in the mirror. Mukhang nagbunga naman ang regular workouts niya pati na ang napakahirap na pilates at flying yoga. Though medyo nahihiya siya...

 

Her confidence only came back when she got out of the bathroom, and she saw Karina ogle at her. Like shamelessly check her out.

 

“Y-Yan suot mo palabas?” This is the first time again that she heard the ever-so-confident Karina stutter.

 

“Oo sana? Panget ba?”

 

“Hindi. Uhm— Ano— Maganda. Oo, maganda. y ka. May abs ka nga eh, oh! Nice! Ang ganda.. Oo..”

 

She approached the assistant manager, giving the girl a soft peck on the cheek, “Relax.. Ako lang ‘to..” She tried to joke.

 

Napahawak si Karina sa bewang niya, and Winter felt something jump inside her. “You look really good..” She caught the honesty in her voice.  

 

“You too..” Sagot naman niya.

 

“Pero isuot mo muna ‘to paglabas,” binalot sa kanya ni Karina ‘yung thin drop-shoulder cover-up na butas-butas. “Ayan, perfect. Let’s go?”

 

“Aren’t we going to apply sunscreen?”

 

Sa haba ng leeg ni Karina, obvious na obvious ang ginawa niyang paglunok. “Pwede. Lagyan mo s-sarili mo..”

 

“But.. Hindi ko abot ‘yung likod ko,” she doesn’t understand kung bakit sobrang balisa nito. Parang hirap na hirap din siyang tumingin kay Winter. “Is everything okay? Look at me..”

 

The girl finally met her eyes, “Kasi naman, Winter!” Pasigaw nitong sagot.

 

“Bakit?”

 

“Ewan ko! Ang ganda mo kasi! T-Tapos ang y mo! Ugh,” the girl literally groaned in frustration, natawa na lang si Winter dahil ‘yun lang naman pala ang pinoproblema ni Karina.

 

Has she seen herself?!

 

“Why? Afraid you’ll easily fall for me?” She bragged.

 

Karina rolled her eyes, “Asa ka pa. Akin na, lalagyan kita. Masyado kang feeling. Baka ikaw pa ‘tong ma-in love sakin.”

 

Matagal naman na...

 

They took time in applying each other’s sunscreen. May nginig sa sari-sarili nilang mga kamay pero hindi na sila nag-comment tungkol dito. Winter figured it’s because pareho lang sila ng epekto sa isa’t isa.

 

“May ibibigay pala ako sayo..” Karina suddenly said pagkatapos nilang maglagay ng lotion. “Simple lang ‘to ha, baka mag-expect ka. Fifty pesos lang isa.”

 

It doesn’t really matter to Winter kung gaano ka-simple o enggrade ang gesture ni Karina. The fact that the girl even made an effort to get her something is already touching enough.

 

“Ano ‘yon?” She tried not to sound too excited.

 

May kinuha si Karina sa maliit niyang rattan bag na binigay ni Winter kanina. Parang naka-plastic ito at hindi pa mawari ni Winter kung ano.

 

“Ang cute kasi.. Nakita ko lang kanina. Tapos dalawa na lang ‘yung nandon sa shop so I got them both para satin,” inabot niya kay Winter ‘yung isang rainbow beads bracelet. “Ako magsusuot sayo..”

 

Karina was too concentrated sa pagsusuot kay Winter. She didn’t know what came over her when she lifted the girl’s chin gamit ang index finger niya...

 

Ang totoo, gusto niyang halikan si Karina.

 

But instead, nginitian na lang niya ito, “I love it. It’s cute. And it’s very bading,” pabiro niyang sabi to ease the tension that she feels within herself. Baka kasi hindi siya makapagkontrol at sunggaban niya ng halik bigla si Karina.

 

My gosh...

 

“’Yung sakin, sa paa na lang. Parang anklet,” the private chef stated.
 

Winter took the initiative na siya ang magsuot sa paa ni Karina. “There.. Ang cute,” she laughed.

 

“Bakit ka tumatawa? Ang panget ba? Balik mo fifty ko!”

 

She promptly shook her head to disagree, “It’s not that. Ano kasi, sa Korea, uso ‘yung mga matching couple stuff like this. Especially sa celebrities.. That’s how the media find out minsan.”

 

“Hala, hindi ko alam. We can take it off.”

 

She grabbed Karina’s arm para pigilan ito sa pagtanggal nung bracelet, “Don’t. It’s cute. I like the simplicity of it..”

 

She has worn designer brands and luxurious jewelries, pero itong fifty-peso-bracelet na binigay ni Karina ‘yung pinakagusto niyang sinuot na accessory sa buong buhay niya.

 

“Sure ka ha?”

 

“Oo naman..”

 

Karina’s smile faded at biglang tumingin ito sa labas, “Winter, paano ‘pag talagang napahamak ka because of…” tumuro siya sa kanilang dalawa, “this.”

 

They fell silent.

 

“Yan ba ‘yung.. sinabi ni Kazuha kanina?”

 

Her actress friend can be a little too much sometimes. Overly protective sa kanya ito and while she appreciates that, hindi niya gusto na dinadamay ni Kazuha si Karina.

 

She can only think of one reason and it’s not because of worry… Dahil siguro nagseselos ito sa private chef nila.

 

“Oo. Kahit nakakainis ang pagmumukha niya, I think she had a point. Kaya naapektuhan din ako,” Karina replied. “Celebrity din siya. Pareho kayo ng scene, so tingin ko alam niya ‘yung sinasabi niya. It made sense.”

 

“Do you think I would run away again?” Karina didn’t answer right away, and Winter felt a bit of a sting pero naiintindihan naman niya.

 

“Honestly? May part sa akin na iniisip yan.”

 

They both sat down. Nakaupo si Karina sa supposedly na kama niya, at si Winter naman ay sa sarili niyang bed. She felt like Karina needed the space, kaya binigay niya ito.

 

Winter nodded timidly, “That’s understandable. And you’re right, hindi naman ako sobrang invincible na tao. Bad things can happen.. But I’m not going to run away from you again, Karina. I— I can’t. Not anymore.”

 

Hindi naman talaga maipapangako ni Winter na walang mangyayaring hindi maganda dahil hindi rin niya alam what the future holds, but she promised herself na haharapin niya.

 

She’s not going to leave again.

 

Once was enough, and it was of the worst things she has done to someone.  

 

If anything, siya pa ang nag-aalala na baka maging too much kay Karina ang pagiging celebrity niya… Na baka siya pa ang umalis if things get overwhelming…

 

“We can just talk about that next time.. Mag-ingat na lang tayo for now. I’m sorry if na-ruin ko ‘yung mood..” Karina deflected the topic.

 

She knows the girl is far from trusting her again, pero kaya rin naman nag-eeffort si Winter nang ganito para maipakita kay Karina na she’s serious about this.

 

It takes time, but she’s willing to wait.

 

Winter stood up, pumunta siya sa harap ni Karina at hinaplos ang pisngi nito, “You didn’t ruin anything. I’m sorry Kazuha said that to you. I’ll talk to her about it.. I’ll make this work, Karina. Believe it or not.”

 

She didn’t expect Karina to pull her close and hug her waist, almost as if she’s openly showing her vulnerability to Winter, “Please don’t this up, Winter… Sinasabi ko sayo...”

 

Please don’t this up, dahil masasaktan nanaman ako, she thinks that’s what Karina wanted to really say. “I’ll show you.. Seryoso ako sayo..”

 

Ramdam niya ang pagtango ni Karina against her stomach, “B-Baka itaas mo nanaman ako nang sobra, tapos ibabagsak mo rin akong mag-isa.” She felt the cloth of her cover-up dampen…

 

Umiiyak si Karina.

 

She hugged the girl’s head tightly, “Hindi na, Karina.. Hindi na.”

 

Hinampas siya nito sa pwetan, “Ibabash talaga kita sa lahat ng social media accounts ko. Lahat ng YouTube videos mo i-uunlike ko. Ipagkakalat kong humihilik ma at tumutulo laway ‘pag tulog.”

 

“Grabe naman.. Hindi na nga talaga kita iiwan kapag ganyan,” pang-aasar niya. Pinalo-palo pa siya ni Karina sa pwet and she’s just laughing, waiting for the girl to stop crying.

 

Tiningala na siya nito, and Winter pouted at her, “Ikaw rin, ‘wag kang aalis..”

 

“Kahit gustuhin ko, ‘di ko na kaya. Bwisit ka kasi..”

 

“Kasalanan ko bang mahirap akong kalimutan?” Winter joked.

 

Karina abruptly stood up, “Tara na nga. Tignan mo pinaiyak mo nanaman ako!” The private chef looked at herself in the mirror. “Magre-retouch lang ako.”

 

“Hindi mo naman kailangan. And mababasa rin naman tayo sa parasailing...” Winter said in confusion. “May pinapagandahan ka, ‘noh? Sino nga ‘yon? Si Seulki?”

 

“Sino ‘yon?” Nangiti si Winter dahil hindi yata maalala ni Karina ang pangalan nung magandang babae nung isang araw. Karina quickly finished up, “Let’s go.”

 

Halos mangatal si Winter dahil sa biglaang paghalik ni Karina sa ilong niya. Siya kasi ang unang nag-iinitiate palagi ng physical touches, kaya mas nakakakilig kapag si Karina ang nauuna.

 

Pagbaba nila ng beach area, wala naman masyadong tao since medyo exclusive nga itong part na ‘to ng Boracay.

 

“Nandito rin pala si Bea Alonzo, siya ‘yung pinagkakaguluhan. Buti naman,” Winter said habang naglalakad sila ni Karina. She wanted to hold the other girl’s hand but they need to be extra careful.

 

“Mas maganda pa ako diyan,” mayabang na komento ni Karina. “Deserve ko rin na pagkaguluhan.”

 

“Karina?”

 

Lumingon si Winter sa hindi pamilyar na boses, pero pamilyar na mukha. Buti na lang naka sunglasses at mask siya dahil grabeng pagbusangot ng mukha ang ginagawa niya ngayon.

 

“Seulki? Hi!” At talagang nag-beso sila… Matagal na ba silang magkakilala?! “Dito rin kayo nag-stay?”

 

“Yup! Pero pauwi na kami ngayon. Packing up na then back to reality,” malanding tumawa ito sa harap ni Karina. “You might wanna give your number? Catch up sa Manila?”

 

Kita ni Winter ang pag side-eye ni Karina sa kanya but she didn’t budge, hinayaan lang niya na ibigay ng assistant manager ang number nito dun sa babae.

 

Umiinit ang ulo ni Winter.

 

Calm and collected naman siya most of the time pero… bakit ba kasi ang dami kong kaagaw?! Si Sungchan, si Seulki, tapos si Yunjin…

 

Mali na iniisip niyang kaagaw niya si Yunjin, pero iba talaga ang pakiramdam niya sa kanyang college friend.

 

She didn’t even notice na umalis na ‘yung babae. She only went back to reality when Karina held her by the waist to guide them both back sa paglalakad.

 

Hindi nagsasalita si Winter.

 

Humigpit ang kapit ni Karina sa kanya, “Maling number ‘yung binigay ko, okay? ‘Wag kang magdrama diyan. Init ng ulo..” Kunwari na lang ayaw magsasayaw ni Winter on the spot sa sinabi ni Karina.

 

Hindi pa rin siya nag-react. Patuloy lang ang paglakad nila papunta sa may shore.

 

“Ganon talaga, Winter. Kailangan mong masanay na maraming nagkakagusto sa akin dahil napakaganda ko naman kasi, hindi natin sila masisisi,” Karina even sighed dramatically.

 

“Sige,” matipid na sagot na lang niya.

 

Tumigil sila sa paglalakad at nagpapadyak si Karina, “‘Wag ka nang magtampo! Hindi ako marunong maglambing, jusko po! Sumasakit ulo ko!” Napahawak pa ito sa ulo niya.

 

Medyo amusing, kaya hindi pa rin nagsasalita si Winter. Karina nudged her again, “Ihh.. huy..”

 

“Tara na, nandiyan na ‘yung boat for parasailing,” Winter said in a calm yet monotone voice.

 

Winelcome sila nung private speed boat na pinrovide ng Shangri-La for them. Dito sila sasakay papunta sa platform kung nasaan ‘yung mga boat mismo solely for parasailing.

 

She guided Karina pasakay ng boat kahit medyo “nagtatampo” pa siya dito.

 

They sat down silently and Karina suddenly grabbed Winter’s face to remove the mask, “‘Wag ka nang magtampo,” malambing nitong pakli. “Wrong number—“

 

“Ma’am taga saan po kayo?”

 

“Ma’am first time niyo po?”

 

“Kinakabahan kayo Ma’am?”

 

Lumaki ang ilong ni Karina at tinignan ‘yung guide nila, “Kuya wait lang ha. Nilalambing ko lang ‘tong bebe ko. Mamaya na ang chika.”

 

Nagpigil si Winter ng tawa.

 

Bumalik si Karina ng pansin sa kanya, “‘Wag nang magtampo ang bebe na yan. Kukurutin ko singit mo pag ako nainis. Sabing ‘di ako marunung sumuyo. Ako dapat ang sinusuyo! Gosh.”

 

“Hindi naman ako nagtatampo.”

 

“Tsk,” Karina held Winter’s chin with her thumb and index finger, “Nagseselos ka eh. Wala ka naman dapat ikaselos, okay? It’s always been you too, Winter. For me.”

 

Lumambot na ang expression niya. She honestly was just joking with the whole “tampo” thing pero hindi niya ine-expect na talagang “lalambingin” siya ni Karina and it felt… really really nice.

 

She smiled widely, “Talaga?”

 

Hinagis ng private chef sa mukha ni Winter ang mask, “Last na tampo mo na ‘yon ha. Ayoko ng nag-iinarte!” She could tell Karina is still blushing.

 

“Ma’am magjowa kayo?” Napunta na sa guide nila ang kanilang full attention. Or half lang pala, dahil malanding nilalaro nila ang daliri ng isa’t isa.

 

“It’s complicated, kuya,” Karina answered.

 

“Kami rin ng gerlpren ko Ma’am, it’s complicated,” balik nung guide. “May boy best friend kasi siya, Ma’am. Nagseselos ako.”

 

Nagulat si Winter sa biglaang pagtayo ni Karina, “Kuya ito nga rin babaeng ‘to! May girl best friend!”

 

Nag-bonding si Karina at ‘yung guide nila sa pagra-rant sa mga girl and boy best friends. Sobrang likot ni Karina at napakadaldal, but Winter thinks it’s adorable and it makes her… her.

 

Tapos habang nakikipagtalastasan si Karina, she didn’t once let go of Winter’s hand kahit pa animated ang pagra-rant at pagkwento nito.

 

“Ay nako, kuya! Sinabi mo pa!”

 

“Hindi niya gugustuhing masabunutan ko siya. Ikaw rin, kuya. Matuto kang mag-boxing! Boxingin mo!”

 

Naaaninag na ni Winter ‘yung mga nagpa-parasailing. Mukhang malapit na sila sa platform where they’d be transferred to another smaller boat.

 

She tugged Karina’s hand, “Kumalma ka na. Sit down..”

 

Umupo na rin naman si Karina when she was told to. “Carried away lang,” she smiled cutely at Winter. She thinks Karina scrunching her nose unconsciously is very pretty.

 

“Transfer na kayo Ma’am..” He guided them para makatapak sa kawayan na parang balsa, at isinakay sila sa maliit na boat.

 

Nakita ni Winter na nagsimula nang kabahan si Karina dahil maya’t maya na ang kapit nito sa braso niya. Halos mamutla rin ito at walang imik kahit maraming sinasabi ‘yung lalake sa boat.

 

“Are you okay?” Umakbay siya kay Karina, running her ha

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jmjwrites
I’m super busy lately sa work and personal matters, but rest assured na hindi ko po ito igo-ghost! Updating soon! 🫶🏻

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Tortillos #1
Chapter 3: YUNG TAWA KO GRABE KAHIT NASA CHAPTER 3 PALANG AKO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
bigboy123
114 streak #2
Chapter 30: Jopay, kamusta ka na? 🥹
loonygirl22 #3
Huhu read this thinking na complete na siya noooooo! (Also ako lang ba Yunjin fan here??? Parang pwede eh — ugh, er for unrequited love good other person talaga ako!)
elevenelevenfine
#4
andito na din ako hehe
imwinter0101
#5
🤍
oldbellar #6
Chapter 30: hala feeling ko tuloy ako si karina na ghinost ni idol winter 😭😭😭
kaiclip #7
Chapter 30: 🥹🥹
fanficethusiast #8
Chapter 30: author balik ka na pls
wnddmks_ 623 streak #9
Chapter 30: Tao po
joyie4ever #10
Jopay😔😔😔