When She Was Alive

Only Girl In The World
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The night turned out to be far different from what they both expected. It offered them plenty of surprises.

And a good amount of irony.

Joohyun did not expect Kang Seulgi to keep her company for too long because she had to reason to waste time with her… but the visitor stayed.

Joohyun did not expect herself to allow her beautiful guest to stay by her side because Joohyun thought she would rather grieve alone.  However, she did not make Kang Seulgi leave.

Both of them were brought together by Death… but what they discovered was Life in its loudest, brightest, pulsating, feisty and joyous form.

**********

One mourner. One sympathizer. One dead cat in a shoebox.

“I am sorry for your loss,” Seulgi said to Joohyun as they sat together at the wake. 

Joohyun took a deep breath and murmured something customary. “Thank you for your sympathy.”

The guest spoke again, “She’s beautiful. Even in eternal sleep.”  Her smooth voice excited even the flames of the candles so that they the flickered like giggly girls… making the shadows dance against the walls.  

"You hear that, Da Ling?" Joohyun caressed the box with her fingertips.

Seulgi reached for the box, too, her hand traveled slowly and rested on top of Joohyun’s. Their hands were now overlapping upon the box. Quite gently, she gave Joohyun’s hand a squeeze.

While on the job, it’s but natural that Joohyun experienced human contact— skin to skin brought about by accidental touching of customers. Or during some regular days when she would be squeezed in a packed elevator along with other tenants. But she had not felt the touch of another human being for months. She had relied on Da Ling’s warmth for creature comfort.  She had not felt a purposeful or meaningful transfer of lively sensation from another person’s skin unto hers. Not since eomma's last embrace. Not since Allan during those nights when he faked his love for her...

Joohyun silently savored the feel of this girl's touch like candy for her soul.

“Joohyun-ssi…”

Seulgi ended the gesture. Her hand flew away too soon! Joohyun’s soul hadn’t even savored what candy tasted like and it was already removed from her.

Joohyun turned to her. “Mmm…?”

“Your cat would want you to move on. I’m pretty sure of it.”

Joohyun did not make any vocal response. Her true response was silent.  Said aloud by her heart… so it’s not for the guest’s ears to hear.

That’s what you think, Joohyun replied voicelessly.

I’m not moving on.

I have nowhere to go.

There’s nothing for me after this night. Da Ling knows I have to follow her— that's where I'm heading for. My cat and I will meet again. She's waiting for me.

“Have you owned her for long?” Seulgi inquired, interrupting Joohyun’s musings.

“I’ve had her forever.”  Joohyun’s eyes remained on the box where her longest and greatest friend was laid to rest.  Her little smile was filled with sorrow.  “My cat was always by my side.  I could not recall the time when she wasn’t.”

Seulgi did the obligatory act of courtesy in any funeral which was to speak about the departed. But instead of asking how Da Ling had died, she veered toward the subject of how the cat had lived. “She must have been a good pet to you,” she said with tender consolation.  “And she must have known how loved she was.”

"Yes." Joohyun nodded. “Da Ling and I—”

“Sorry," Seulgi interrupted. "Darling? That’s your pet’s name, right?  It’s not just an endearment?”

“Dah… DAHHH’.” She mouthed the syllables with more emphasis. “DAHHH LING.”

“Ah… Da Ling.”

“Yeh.” Joohyun grinned. “I watched this old English movie about an aristocratic man in war time America… and he was tall and handsome.  He looks very commanding and everyone was scared of him..." Her hand moved everywhere as she gestured about the movie hero’s height and hair and stiff-collared suit.  "But the stern man butters up whenever he saw his little daughter.  He’d… ‘Daaahhh-ling! There you are, my little Dahling!’  It was so sweet! I forgot his name but I loved that actor. It became my favorite movie.”

When her company did not say anything, Joohyun’s head turned to check her reaction.  And she found Kang Seulgi staring at her intently.

“So that's where you got your pet’s name..." Seulgi half-whispered, her eyes roaming around Joohyun’s face.  “From a movie.”

"Yeh."

"I see.” She laughed softly at Joohyun’s unexpected display of theatrics. Very, very cute. “Anyway, you were saying about your cat?”

Joohyun’s bright smile was dimmed by the sad glow in her eyes as intense longing took over. “She was my very best friend. Apart from my mother, Da Ling was the only one who loved me with everything she was made of.”

“Is your mother still alive?” Seulgi inquired.

“Yes.”  Joohyun stopped there.  She did not want to talk about that. Why add more pain?  She reverted the topic back to her cat. “I found this beautiful, full-grown stray cat years ago. She was hurt because of some bastard— oops!” She covered with three fingers. “Sorry for cussing, Da Ling.” Her body swayed to his side so she could whisper to Seulgi’s ear. “I cannot cuss in front of Da Ling. She hated it so much.  The cat used to hiss at me when I cussed...”

“Oh. Okay. Let’s not curse then.” Seulgi was watching her carefully, not wanting to miss a single expression revealed by the candlelight. Joohyun’s were quicksilver moods— fast and slippery. It would disappear as quickly as it showed.  Pity if such moments were not captured by the interested party. 

Joohyun frowned. “Where were we?”

“You found a cat run over by some … beep…”

“Hee-hee-hee!”  Joohyun giggled over the way Kang Seulgi censored the unsavory term. But then… she GASPED!

Seulgi was alarmed. “What?”

Joohyun shook her head. “Nothing.”

“No, really… what?  Is there something wrong?”

I giggled. I hadn’t giggled for a very long while. That’s not ‘wrong’ but it’s STRANGE! Joohyun refused to reveal her thoughts to her. “Nothing. As I was saying…” She paused. “What was I saying?”

Seulgi sighed.  The poor cute pabo (dummy) could not carry a conversation if it rode on her shoulders.

Seulgi had the impulse to Joohyun’s confused little head. Poor befuddled thing. Had she been deprived of a company for too long? It must have been a while since she had sat down with somebody and had a good talk. “Years ago… you found an injured stray cat.”

“Right… right…” Joohyun’s head bounced like a dribbled basketball. (Bounce, bounce, bounce!) She continued to happily reminisce. “So I took her home and she’d been mine ever since. She wanted to be mine. She was completely… mine.” From a high, she was plunged into melancholy once more. “She was the only beautiful and perfect thing I owned...”

The cheerf

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Lipstix
I've recovered from the nasty flu but my schedule lately has been like a needy demon baby! Thank you for staying and being patient with the updates. (GROUP HUG!) I will try to AT LEAST update once a week.

Comments

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Seul_rene14 #1
I miss Da Ling's two mommies.... Author-nim where are you? You just can't just Zimzalabim out of our lives like that🥺
Oct_13_wen_03 62 streak #2
please update 😭
omadiver
#3
I've been enjoying this a lot. You write so damn well and I've been imagining this as a movie in my head. Looking forward to the next update!
future_mrs_liu #4
Chapter 5: This is so freakin awesome. The way you write and the plot is so refreshing. The story is so funny and wittint despite the tragic and unfortunate situation of Joohyun and Seulgi. I can’t wait to know more. Fighting author! Thanks for writing this!
eunxiaoxlove #5
Chapter 10: You write really well
_m3owrene
1023 streak #6
Chapter 10: Thankkkk youuu!! Can’t wait for the next part!! 😁😁😁😁
AnneTokki #7
Chapter 10: 💓💛
born10966 #8
Chapter 10: (GROUP HUGS). This is so interesting and funny and sad and cute.
Thanks for the update Author Nim.
Seul_rene14 #9
Chapter 10: When that silky black cloth magically appeared, I thought, Seulgi’s gonna zimzalabim them to Japan 😭😭😭 but when she started talking about the old man trying to recreate his hometown, I sort of guessed what's coming next, so I feel pretty 😏

Imagine if Seulgi really zimzalabim(ed) them to Japan...!?😼😽
AnneTokki #10
I am so into this story, hope you. Update again soon 🫶💗💛