End

Mixed feelings

Seulgi’s a lesbian. She had some crushes in her life. But living in a homophobic country, none of them were interested in her. She had this idea of romance, and she wanted it more than anything. All of her friends had at least one love story, with a man of course. She’s jealous. Why can’t she be happy with someone just because she likes women?

She forgot to mention that her biggest crush ever is on her best friend, Bae Juhyun. The straightest girl ever, the one that wouldn’t even consider that she could be attracted to women because it’s not ‘natural’.So Juhyun usually doesn’t really like people like her, but she makes an exception for Seulgi without even knowing it because she doesn’t know her preferences. If she knew Seulgi isn’t sure if she will cut the friendship or not so it’s better not to say anything.

 

They met in the second year of middle school, thanks to their professor. Seulgi was having difficulties in maths and Juhyun having the best grades in this subject was asked to sit next to Seulgi to explain her in case she doesn’t understand the problem. So they did and of course Seulgi immediately started to crush on her, except that she didn’t know she liked women yet, so to her, Juhyun was just nice and she wanted to be her friend. She realized a few months later that her ‘admiration’ towards her was not something normal. Juhyun was always so touchy, and that may be the reason why her crush grew bigger. She gave her butterflies without even knowing, even if it was so wrong. Juhyun would probably feel disgusted if she knew. So she hid it, and she rejected it, she would force herself to marry a man someday because that’s just how it works. Five years later, she’s still there, next to her, her feelings deeply burried. Of course it hurts, especially when she introduces her boyfriends to Seulgi. It doesn’t help when she seem to really like the new one. But she won’t leave, Juhyun’s her best friend after all. Of course it’s not all about Juhyun, she is also attracted by other women but what can she do? She won’t ever make the first move so she’s stuck alone, crushing on her best friend and some other girls sometimes. Mostly her best friend though.

 

“Seulgi, I’m sorry I can’t go with you tonight, Bogum made a reservation in a restaurant. I’m sorry he told me it was supposed to be a surprise.”

Seulgi looks at Juhyun’s arm around hers. “It’s okay I understand, maybe next time?”

“For sure. See you tomorrow Seul!”

“See you!” she tries to hide her disappointment.

She met the guy three weeks ago. Juhyun introduced them like she does every time.

 

“Bogum, this is Seulgi, my best friend. Seulgi this is Bogum, my boyfriend.”

The guy looks clean, handsome, a good guy. This time Juhyun chose well.

“Nice to meet you Seulgi, you seem like a good friend to Juhyun, she was so excited when she told me I could meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. Yes I’m her best friend, she loves me so much.” she jokes. How ironic.

Juhyun hits her arm, making the two of them laugh.

“Ouch, you need to stop being this aggressive!” she feigns being hurt. “Is she like that with you too, Bogum?”

“No never, but I agree she’s too aggressive with you.” he chuckles.

Even though it hurts, she knows Juhyun wants her to get along well with her boyfriends. So she pretends there’s nothing wrong and does her work as a best friend.

 

Sometimes it gets harder and she snaps at her unconsciously, leading to arguments, especially with Juhyun’s personality. She won’t let Seulgi win any

This time Juhyun kept talking about boys and asked Seulgi for some advices, it was too much for her.

“Juhyun, please let me breathe!” It was one of these moments when she just wanted to cry and push the girl away. She was just overdosing, but who could blame her?

“Seulgi, why are you like that? I didn’t do anything!” Juhyun is confused, just like every time it happens.

“It’s just.. Please just I need to be alone.”

If you want to be alone, fine just tell me. You don’t get to talk to me like that Seulgi.”

“Yes, I’m sorry it’s my fault.” Seulgi sighs. She knows she hurt her.

Just why is she torturing herself like that.

Seulgi approaches Juhyun and hugs her. “I’m sorry, I’m just not in a good mood.”

“It’s okay.” she answers as she tucks the latter’s hair behind her ear. “You can talk to me you know?”

Seulgi really wishes she could. Instead she just sighs and mutters a “I know, thank you.”

 

As she walks towards the gates, she sees her other best friend, the only one that knows about her uality.

“Seulgi! Where were you today! I barely saw you!”

“Sorry Seungwan, I had to study and then I saw Juhyun. She wouldn’t let me leave for a whole hour.”

“That’s why I couldn’t find her either! She’s going to hear me!”

Seulgi laughs once again. Seungwan is someone she can trust fully. She got close to her when they met 2 years ago and introduced Juhyun to her. Seulgi doesn’t have a crush on her at least, so she basically tells her the secrets that she wouldn’t tell to the other girl. A few months ago she confessed about her uality problem and it helped her so much. She didn’t mention Juhyun though, she doesn’t want to put her in an awkward position. If she knew it would probably break their group. Since then Seungwan never said anything to anyone and was a big support for Seulgi, she made her feel almost normal and helped her realize that a lot of other people were like her.

It was on their sleepover night, usually the three of them do that at least twice a month. This time Juhyun was busy and was absent, that day Seulgi got hurt because of her friend’s words. Juhyun criticized someone openly gay in their school and she wasn’t nice about it. Seulgi heard all of it but couldn’t say anything. She just nodded trying to contain her tears. Hearing the girl talk about a gay person like that made her realize that she would never tell her. At the same time she needed comfort and she knew how Seungwan was accepting to everyone. She decided to break the silence at one point.

 

“Seungwan..”

“Yes Seul?”

“I….” Seungwan looks at her fondly as if she wanted to encourage her. “I think I’m a lesbian.” she finally says as her tears start to fall.

“Oh Seulgi, I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me! Wait, you’re crying?” she immediately goes to hug her friend.

A few minutes after this, Seulgi finally calmed down. She then explained that she heard some homophobic remarks today and that she couldn’t hid it anymore, she needed to say it. At least to one person. She didn’t precisely tell from whom she heard them, and it was good because Seungwan was threatening to kill that person, being the good friend she is. In the end she asked her not to tell anyone, including Juhyun.

 

Since that day, she tells Seungwan almost everything, and same goes on the other way. Seulgi makes sure Juhyun doesn’t notice because she doesn’t want the girl to feel left out. On the other hand, the girl spend so much time with her rich boyfriend that if she feels that way, Seulgi can’t blame herself. She always felt a wall between them about this. Juhyun as tons of money, she lives in a mansion, her parents are big deal. Seulgi lives normally more on the poorly side, no extravagant things, she can’t afford them anyway. She lives in a small apartment with her family. Every time they did the sleepover at her mansion, she always felt weird. Seungwan is also pretty rich, not as much as her, but it’s different. It’s like her family is rich but doesn’t show it. Seungwan’s parents are so nice to her and treat her as a daughter. On the other way, Juhyun’s parents are more judging. She knows they don’t appreciate her because of her inexistent social status. She heard their daughter fighting them about that once, they were saying that she had a scholarship meaning her parents couldn’t even pay for her studies.. She was torn between being happy because she was defending her with her whole soul and feeling out of place and hurt because of the adults.

That happened one and a half year ago. Since that event she didn’t come back there much, maybe one or two times for the sleepovers but not much. They used to do that a lot together, all three of them, but now it’s more once every three months.

 

“Seulgi you’re going to hit the wall!”

She opens her eyes and stops. She’s dangerously close to it, true.

“What are you thinking about to be like that?” Seungwan asks.

“Nothing. I was just lost in thoughts.”

“Okay sure..”

“I was just thinking about the sleepovers. It’s been a while since we didn’t organize one.”

“You’re right, we should ask Juhyun when she’s free, after all she’s the busiest. It’s not like we tried to organize at least four and she can’t every time.” she rolls her eyes.

“It’s because of love.” Seulgi chuckles.

“Love my .”

They burst into laughter.

“I’ll send her a message, or try to find her in real life if I can!” Seungwan starts again.

“Let’s try to find her tomorrow okay?”

“It’s easy you just have to call her and she’ll run to you! If you say that you fell or anything she will totally teleport herself.” she sighs.

“You know it’s not true, we’re not as close as we were I doubt she would do that now.”

“She just kidnapped you for a whole hour!”

“Okay that’s true.” she chuckles. “But don’t worry we’ll find her tomorrow.”

“Okay. Do you want to come to my class to study for the biology test?”

“That would be perfect, plus I didn’t understand anything I need your help.”

“Do you even have a brain?” Seungwan laughs.

“A brain made for art!”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

 

They arrived at Seungwan’s house, go to the living room and they basically studied for twenty minutes before giving up.

“I think my mom’s here.”

“Seungwan! Seulgi you’re here too! How are you darling?”

“Mom! I’m right here!” Seungwan protests. Her mother laughs.

Seulgi laughs. “I’m good Ms. Son and you?”

“I’m good too! Here you both need to eat. Are you studying?”

“We were, but we took a break.” That’s a lie, they just are to lazy to study.

“Okay I expect you two to have the best grades then!”

“Of course.” Seulgi smiles awkwardly. She will probably get a C not more not less.

“Okay I need to cook, are you staying for dinner Seulgi?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so, I need to help my mother, she wants to clean the house.”

“What a good child.” she says as she glared at her daughter.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I’m a good child too?”

“Sure, believe what you prefer.”

Seungwan sighs once again as Seulgi laughs. Their relationship is so funny.

“Maybe you should go to Seungwan’s room then, I’ll need to use the living room and kitchen it might make noises.”

“Okay, let’s go Seul!”

As soon as they enter the room, Seulgi takes the guitar and Seungwan the piano. That’s why they didn’t wanted to go upstairs, they knew they wouldn’t be able to stop themselves from that.

They start to play songs and sing for at least 30 minutes before Seulgi tells Seungwan it’s time for her to go.

She says goodbye to her mother too and starts to walk towards the bus stop. She has a 20 minutes bus ride form Seungwan’s house to hers, which is very acceptable.

She finally arrives home and finds her mother sleeping on the couch. She often does that as she’s tired because of her health and numerous jobs. Not being ‘qualified’ enough according to companies, she struggles and has to do a few part time jobs every week. Seulgi decides to let her sleep, which she deserves and starts to clean the first floor.

 

 

“Thank you my Seulgi. But you didn’t have to do that.” Her mother startles her when she’s almost done with the cleaning.

“Oh, Hello Mom. You’re awake, are you doing better?” she answers ignoring the previous statement. She knows she will never be selfish enough to ask her daughter to do simple things like that, even though a bit of help would be really useful.

Her mother sighs. “Yes I really needed that nap honestly.”

“Okay, good. You can do something else I’m almost finished, no need for you to clean too.”

“Thank you, I will start to cook, it’s already late.”

Seulgi looks at her phone, indicating almost 10PM. She didn’t notice that it was already that late and that she took so long.

“Perfect, I’ll join you as soon as you’re finished.”

“Don’t you have homework? I can cool fast if it’s better.”

“Don’t worry I was at Seungwan’s before and we did all of it together.” Well that’s actually a lie but she doesn’t want her mother to worry, in the end she’ll probably skip it, like she does every day. Probably the reason why her grades are not the best.

“Okay, then I will go, thank you once again Seulgi.” she says as she caresses her hair.

“It’s normal mom, every child helps their parents.” Seulgi answers even though she doubts that Juhyun does that. They have maids. But that’s another situation.

Her mother chuckles. “I’m happy to have you. You’re a good child.”

“It’s because of you, you raised me!”

“True, but I think you have your part in it.” she says as she goes downstairs.

 

Since Seulgi’s dad died 7 years ago, it’s just her mom, her brother and her. Her mother has been struggling ever since, because it needs a lot of money to take care of two children. Seulgi’s brother, Wonwoo had a lot of difficulties to accept his death and dropped out of school. Now he’s barely home, always out with some ‘friends.’ The type of friends to take drugs and get in trouble. As if losing her father wasn’t enough, partially loosing her brother also really hurt her. He was like a pillar to her when she was young. He would always defend her. The story that she remembers the most, is when ten years old Seulgi got bullied by some stupid kids. Her brother literally ran to her school when he heard about it, and scared them so hard that they never did it again. It was the kind of sibling he was. Now he won’t even answer when she talks to him. That’s in these moments that she’s thankful she didn’t end up like him. Even though he has it easy, what kind of life is that?

 

When she goes down for dinner, she’s not surprised to see that her brother is absent once again.

“Do you know where he is this time?” she asks.

“No idea. He didn’t answer my call nor my text.”

Seulgi sighs, typical. “Okay then let’s eat together mom.”

 

As Seulgi twirls her spaghetti, her mother interrupts.

“By the way, do you still talk to Juhyun honey?”

“Yes, why?”

“It’s just I haven’t heard of her for a long time now.”

“I still see her a lot, it’s just that we don’t really have time to meet outside class.”

“It’s a shame, I know I saw hear only one time but she seems like a good friend.”

“She is.”

It’s true that Seulgi feels ashamed, even though she shouldn’t. Her small apartment next to the girl’s mansion is nothing, so she never brought her home. Her mother met her once when she decided to pick up Seulgi as a surprise. Juhyun was walking with her and Seulgi’s mom introduced herself. “I can finally meet the famous Juhyun! Seulgi won’t stop talking about you! I am her mom by the way!” followed by “I can’t believe how pretty you are! Everyone must be falling for you!”. It was embarrassing but at least the girl laughed and told Seulgi that her mother was really cute.

“So how is she doing?”

“She’s doing okay, she has a new boyfriend.”

“Really? Did you meet him?”

“I did, he’s a nice man.”

“With her beauty, I hope he’s handsome.”

“I’d say that yes he is quite.”

“And you? No boyfriend yet?”

Seulgi stops herself from choking on her pasta. She grips her fork hard.

“No, not yet, didn’t find the right one I guess.”

“It will come with time. You’ll find the right one.”

“I’m sure.” she nods.

Seulgi suddenly doesn’t feel like eating anymore.

 

 

On the next day, she sees Seungwan next to the gate, probably waiting for her.

“Hey Seul!”

“Hey Seungwan! What are you doing here?”

“Hi just wanted to tell you that we’ll be eating lunch with Juhyun today!”

“Really?”

“Yes, I called her this morning to plan it. Let’s ask her for the sleepover at lunch okay?”

“Understood.”

“Do you have class in building E?”

“Yes, you too?”

“Yep! Let’s walk there together.”

“Did you manage to study a bit for the test?”

“I was kinda busy so no not really, but it’s okay I already know my grade is going to be C. You?”

“I did study! Because it’s an important test.” she sighs and looks at her with pity. Seungwan knows about her family situation unlike Juhyun. “It’s my fault I should have forced you to study when you were with me yesterday.”

“No it’s not Seungwan, do you really think I would have studied more?” she laughs.

“Well maybe! And if I explained the lesson to you, you would have listened.”

“But then, I wouldn’t have memorized anything so not, your, fault.”

Seungwan sighs and looks at Seulgi.

“You’re annoying you know?”

“I know, I know. By the way, it’s my classroom, let’s meet at lunch!”

“Good luck for the test!”

“Good luck for yours too!”

“Thanks.” Seungwan says as she waves at her.

 

As expected, Seulgi doesn’t do really well on the test, but she knew it so it’s not a big deal. When she leaves the classroom she finds Juhyun waiting for her, leaning against the wall, her arms crossed.

 

“How’d you do?” she asks first.

“How do you think I did?”

“I don’t know you tell me.”

“I probably failed.” she sighs.

Juhyun takes her hand, and caresses it with her thumb.

“You’ll do well next time.”

“I doubt it, it’s always like that.”

“Maybe I can tutor you again, like old times.” she chuckles.

“Nah, I would kill you before the end of the lesson.”

“Kang Seulgi!” she says as she slaps her arm.

“Ouch. Just kidding.”

Juhyun hums, arm linked around Seulgi’s.

“By the way, what are you doing here?”

“I missed you, so I decided to pick you up.”

“Really? You won’t go to your boyfriend?”

“Seulgi!”

“No, no really. I’m not making fun of you, just curious.”

“You matters to me too, you know right? I’m aware that we see each other less and less but don’t think that you’re not important or something like that. There’s not only Bogum in my life.” she says as she stares at Seulgi. The latter blushes and just stares back, not knowing what to say. Feeling her heart beating through her chest, praying that the latter can’t hear it.

 

They are interrupted by the school bell. Reminding them to go to class.

“Do you have class now?” Juhyun asks.

“I do, in building A and you?”

“Building C for me.”

“It’s really far, you shouldn’t waste your steps for me.” she chuckles. “But I’m thankful.”

“Walking is healthy!”

“Okay Miss. I need to go this way.” she says as she points at the corridor’s door.

“I know I’m in this school too dummy. See you at lunch?”

“Yeah.” Seulgi smiles. “Thank you for coming.”

“You’re welcome.” she winks and turns her back.

 

Seulgi watches her leave for a few seconds before starting to walk towards the door. The things she does to her…

 

In her next class she can’t concentrate, still thinking about how softly the girl told her that she matters too. She gets angry at herself for still crushing on her. Why must that happen to her. She scribbles on her textbook and draws Juhyun once again. Her favorite model. She always sits alone in class, not having any other friends than her two best friends. People just don’t try to talk to her, or Seulgi just doesn’t have time to go out. But it’s convenient, she can draw the girl, and nobody will notice it. Just how she wants it to be.

 

When the bell rings, signaling the end of the class, Seulgi heads towards the cafeteria, scanning the place, trying to find her friends. When she finally sees them, she smiles.

“Finally, what took you so long Seul!” Seungwan starts.

“What do you mean? The bell rang three minutes ago!”

“Five.” Juhyun corrects.

“I’m there now! Let’s order?”

“Yes, I can’t wait to eat!” Juhyun enthusiastically answers.

After getting their tickets, they settle down to a table not far from the exit.

“I hope it’s going to be ready soon.” Seungwan says as her stomach makes a noise.

The girls all laugh.

“By the way Juhyun, are you free for a sleepover this weekend? I talked to Seulgi yesterday and it’s been a while since we didn’t organized one all three of us.”

Seulgi nods.

“I think it’s a good idea, I’ve been hanging out less and less with you guys, so I promise I’m going to make efforts now! How about Saturday, my place?”

Seulgi thinks about Juhyun’s parents. “Good for me, just a question, will your parents be there?” she asks.

“No, they are on a trip, it will just be us And Yerim will be at her friend’s house.” Seulgi sighs of relief, not knowing she was holding it.

“I’m good too!” Seungwan says.

“So Saturday my place it is!”

“Yes.” They all smile.

“What should we bring?”

“Just snacks, I’ll take care of the dinner. Seul don’t bring too much Pringles please.” she jokes.

“Hey! You always eat some too Juhyun!”

“I can’t possibly let you eat 2 cans by yourself! It’s dangerous for your health.” she defends.

“Sorry Juhyun, but I also know that you just want to eat some. It’s not because you want to preserve Seulgi’s health.” Seungwan joins.

“Okay, okay I admit it.” she says as she puts her hands up in the air.

At the same time, their order number flashes on the screen.

“Oh it’s our turn! I’ll go get it.” exclaims Seulgi.

“Please don’t make the food fall!” Juhyun says.

“Why are you so mean to me!” she says as she puts a hand on her heart, dramatically.

Everyone chuckles.

“Just go get the food Seulgi! It’s going to get cold!” Seungwan laughs.

“I’ll go, I’ll go. No need to gang up on me!”

 

They have lunch together, laugh and talk about basic things. They realized how much they all mixed that. Seulgi tells herself that even if she’ll never get to know Juhyun romantically, this is more than enough for her. She will never get more anyway, so she realizes she’s contented with what they have now. Maybe their friend group will stay forever, who knows?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday arrives faster than expected, and it’s already time for Seulgi to prepare her bag. She lost her hairbrush, she’s been looking for it for twenty minutes already. It’s starting to annoy her. She’s going to be late if it continues.

“Honey, do you want me to drop you there?” she hears her mom screaming from downstairs.

“No, it’s okay mom. Thank you. I’ll take the bus.” she yells back.

“Okay I’m going! See you tomorrow!”

“See you mom! Take care.”

She hears the main door closing. There’s no need for an awkward encounter between her mom and her two best friends. Plus she’s still looking for her hairbrush. How is it possible for an object to disappear like that? Juhyun is going to kill her if she’s late.

She finally finds it below her bed, very confused on how it ended up here.

 

As soon as she leaves the house, she runs at light speed to the bus stop as she sees the bus coming. She sighs once she’s sitted inside. Finally. She’s plugs her earphones in and relaxes while listening to some pop songs. The bus ride is approximately one hour long, since Juhyun’s living in the upper part of the city.

 

When she finally arrives. She doesn’t even have time to knock, Juhyun just opens the door immediately and drags her inside.

“You’re late!”

“Sorry I couldn’t find my hairbrush.” she grins awkwardly.

“Are you serious! I could just lend you mine.”

Seulgi just loops her arm’s around Juhyun’s. “Hey I’m sorry okay, I didn’t mean to be late. You know that.”

“Okay then I forgive you.” she says as she puts her head on Seulgi’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, just a bit tired.”

“Okay, we’ll go to sleep early tonight then. By the way, where is Seungwan?”

“She’s upstairs, trying to choose a movie. We should put your bag in my room.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

“There is already one mattress ready, we’ll have to install the other one too. Maybe after the movies, because I’m too lazy right now.”

Seulgi chuckles. “Okay ma’am.”

Juhyun rolls her eyes as she smiles and grabs Seulgi, leading her to her room.

“Hi Seul! I’m guessing Juhyun yelled at you for being late?”

“Almost!”

“Typical.”

“Stop talking about me like that I’m right here!”

They laugh and Seulgi puts her bag next to the girl’s bed.

“It’s been a while since I didn’t come here.” Seulgi says.

“Yeah.” Juhyun says.

“We’ll catch up for the times we missed.” Seungwan says.

They all nod.

“So, I’m sorry I didn’t have time to cook. I’m going to start now!”

“I’ll help you.” says Seulgi.

“Can I take a shower in the meanwhile Juhyun?”

“Of course, we’ll call you when it’ll be ready.”

“Thanks!”

Seulgi and Juhyun starts to prepare the ingredient as soon as they arrive downstairs.

“So chef Juhyun, what do you want to make?”

“I wanted to make beef with rice.”

“Maybe you should let me prepare it then. I know your capacity to cook.” Seulgi laughs.

“Okay you’re lucky today I’m lazy so I wont hit you and I don’t feel like cooking.” she glares at her. “So go ahead.” she says as she sits on the table behind the kitchen counter.

Seulgi starts to boil water as Juhyun watches her, supporting her head with one hand.

She knows that if she let the girl cook, the water would have spilled and she probably would have burned the beef. She may be good at everything but cooking is not her best domain.

She’s waiting for the rice to cook as she suddenly feels Juhyun back hugging her.

“How am I supposed to cook if you hug me like that.” she chuckles.

“I just miss your scent.” she answers as she digs her head and Seulgi’s neck.

 

Seulgi is questioning herself on how she’s still able to breathe right now. She must be as red as a tomato right now. That’s exactly why she will never get over that girl, because every time she becomes touchy with her. And that gives her butterflies each time.

She continues to cook and Juhyun never let go of her. At that moment Seulgi decides to be selfish, as she grabs one of the girl’s hands. With her other hand she’s making sure that neither the beef or rice is burning. The thing is that the girl interlaces their fingers as soon as she puts her hand on her’s. This time Seulgi feels like the butterflies are directly going to get out of her stomach. She smiles until she realizes how disgusting Juhyun would think she is if she knew the effect she has. If she knew she made her feel like that. So she takes off her hand of her. And tries to concentrate on the food. Juhyun’s hand simply goes back to circling her waist instead as she makes an unsatisfied noise.

 

When it’s done, Seulgi coughs and informs her that it’s done, expecting the girl to let go of her.

“I think Seungwan’s not ready, let’s sit on the sofa.” she says as she drags her there.

She makes Seulgi sits and installs herself comfortably against her best friend. Seulgi peeks at her and sees that the girl has her eyes closed. She decides that she can let her rest a bit, she seems to be exhausted. She decides to also close her eyes as she feels Juhyun’s hand sneaking in hers.

 

“I’m ready!” Both of them get startled when Seungwan suddenly shouts that while leaving the bathroom. Seulgi clears and stands up before the girl arrives in the living room.

“Juhyun did you mange to cook without making everything burn?” she asks curiously.

“Nah, I cooked.” Seulgi says as she raises her hand.

“It smells good so makes sense.”

This time it’s Seungwan that gets hit by Juhyun.

“Ouch!”

“You deserve it!”

“If you think so.”

Seulgi laughs at the scene.

“Come on now, let’s eat!” she says as she grabs their hands. As if she doesn’t hit them every hour.

They all dress the table and start to eat. Seulgi watches Juhyun putting her head on Seungwan’s shoulder as soon as she’s finished. Right, she does that to all of her friends, you’re not special Seulgi.

It hurts a bit but she’s used to it. So she looks back at her plate and continues to eat.

“This is really good Seulgi, have you considered becoming a chef?” Seungwan says.

Seulgi laughs. “I’m a beef and rice professional.”

“I’d have to agree too.” Juhyun says.

 

“Should we start the movie?”

“Sure let’s go.”

They are all in the sofa, Juhyun in the middle. They decided to watch The Notebook. Well more like someone insisted a lot to watch it. It’s totally not like they’ve seen it at least 5 times together. Not at all.

Knowing all the lines by heart, Seulgi feels like she can take a small nap. She feels her head falling on the right and the left until Juhyun puts it on her own shoulder. She also feels her putting the blanket more on her knees.

She wakes up at what seem to be the middle of the movie. She notices that the girls are still awake watching it.

“You’re awake?” Juhyun whispers to her.

“I am.”

“Okay.”

Seulgi’s head doesn’t leave her shoulder, it’s way to comfortable here.

They watch the movie until the end.

“Great, I’m going to pretend it was the first time I saw the movie okay? Oh my god, it was fantastic, and the ending!”

Juhyun rolls her eyes while Seulgi laughs.

“This movie is a masterpiece, can’t you appreciate it?”

“We just know it by heart!”

“Not true!”

“As you like!”

“Come on guys, who wants to take a walk in the park?” interrupts Seulgi.

“Good idea!”

“Late night strolls!”

“Okay so let’s put our shoes on, and Juhyun I didn’t bring any hoodie, can I borrow one please?”

“Sure, let’s go to my room.”

In the end, she insists for Seulgi to wear a purple hoodie, because ’it would look good on her.’

Seulgi accepts because she can never really resists her.

 

They walk silently for a few minutes, under the street lamps surrounded by nature. They go to Juhyun’s favorite spot, the small lake and they all sit next to each other. Seulgi enjoys the calmness of it. She closes her eyes and breathes the fresh air. The silence is cut when Juhyun receives a call. On the screen Seulgi can see the name Bogum appearing. She softly smiles and turns back to the view in front of her.

Juhyun excuses herself, saying she needs to take the call, obviously.

Seulgi and Seungwan stay for a few more minutes in silence.

“Don’t fall for her Seulgi, it’s too dangerous.”

“I know, I’m not don’t worry.”

“Okay, I was anxious.”

“Why?”

“I see how close she is to you. And I also know what she thinks about relationships between women. If you fall for her you’ll get hurt, and I don’t want that.”

Seulgi sighs, she already know that. She’s already hurting, but she won’t bring her friend into her problems so she’ll continue to lie.

“I only see her as a sister, nothing more. Don’t worry I will not fall for her.” she chuckles. “I could never date someone like her. Don’t worry I’m not falling for every girl that’s nice to me.”

“Okay, I’m relieved then. I got scared when I saw her behavior.”

“I promise nothing to worry about.”

“Okay.” she softly smiles. “So anyone you’re interested in?”

“Not really, and you?”

“Not yet, waiting for the good one to come.”

“I hope soon, you really deserve to meet your soulmate.”

“You too Seul. And when you’ll meet that soulmate, I really hope you’ll be able to accept that person.”

“I hope too, I’m not sure though.” she answers as she puts her chin on her knee.

“You will, I’ll help you.”

Seulgi chuckles. “You’re really the best of best friends someone could wish for, you know?”

“I know, I’m pretty good at being a friend.”

They smile, and Juhyun comes back.

“I’m done, do you want to stay here or walk a bit more?”

“Let’s walk a bit, I’m going to fall asleep if we don’t.” says Seungwan.

“Okay.”

Seulgi looks at Juhyun under the moonlight, and she’s beautiful. No wonder why she fell for her.

“You remember the place with the small hut? Is it still there?” Seulgi asks.

“No idea, but let’s find out, it’s this way.”

 

When they arrive at the place, Seungwan immediately starts to climb the tree in order to get in the hut.

“Seungwan you’re going to fall be careful!”

“It’s okay girls, it’s cute in there!” she says as she waves to them from the hut.

“You’re crazy Seungwan.” Seulgi chuckles.

The remaining duo decides to sit under the tree where Seungwan is, so they can still talk.

If you fall on us, I will kill you.” Juhyun threatens.

“I won’t, you dramatic woman.”

Seulgi lies down on the grass while listening to them. She looks at the stat, it’s been a while since she done that.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Juhyun interrupts her thoughts.

“It is.”

“I don’t know why I don’t come here more often, it’s literally three minutes away from my house.”

“I don’t understand either, you’re really lucky to live around here, you need to appreciate the little things like that.” she smiles.

Juhyun hums.“Why don’t we organize a weekly reunion here? You hear that Seungwan?”

“WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU?”

“I SAID WHY DON’T WE ORGANIZE A WEEKLY REUNION HERE?”

“SURE!”

“Okay then it’s settled.”

“Good. But next time we need to make sure that Seungwan will stay on the ground and not climb the trees.” she giggles.

“I agree.”

“GUYS WE SHOULD GO BACK, IT’S GETTING COLD.”

“Okay come down first!”

Seungwan carefully lands on the ground and they start to walk back to Juhyun’s house.

 

When they arrived they all decide to sleep, they’re too exhausted because of the exams, etc…

“Seulgi I’m too lazy to put the mattress here, what do you think about sleeping with me in my bed? It’s big enough for two don’t worry.” Juhyun says after they finished to clean themselves up.

Seulgi’s heart ache at the thought of her boyfriends sleeping there with her. She decides to ignore that pain.

“It’s okay I don’t mind let’s sleep.” she’s too exhausted, even though to protect herself she should ask to sleep in another place.

Seungwan jumps on her mattress, while Seulgi and Juhyun climb on the bed. Seulgi takes the right side. They turn off the lights and rapidly fall asleep. Seulgi wakes up at three am, only to find Juhyun’s hand on her hair and her feet on her stomach. How did she manage to do that? She’s basically sleeping on Seulgi right now. She stifles a laugh and Juhyun wakes up.

“Nnng?”

“Sorry Juhyun, I didn’t mean to wake you up, it’s just that your position is weird. And you have your feet on my stomach!” she giggles.

“Hmm sorry.” she whispers before putting herself in a normal position. But she doesn’t stay there, instead she hugs Seulgi as she falls back to sleep. Great, now you’re the one that won’t be able to fall asleep.

She still does, a few minutes later due to exhaustion, with the girl she likes close to her.

 

She wakes up the next morning, and realizes what’s happening, her crush is literally holding her and not letting her go. But she somehow has to get out of there. She’s torn between wanting to stay and wanting to free herself. By respect for the girl, she chooses the last option. She stops for a few seconds just to watch her sleeping face. She seems peaceful and if Seulgi can notice something is that she’s even more beautiful up close. She smiles softly at the sleeping beauty before gathering her thoughts and separating herself from the girl. She goes to the bathroom and decides to wash up. It’s only seven in the morning, but she knows she won’t be able to fall asleep once again.

When she leaves the bathroom, she comes back to the room without making any noise.

“Why are you already up?” Juhyun startles her.

“You’re also awake?”

“Now I am but I don’t plan on staying.”

Seulgi peeks at Seungwan, the girl is still sleeping with open and one leg on the floor. “I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to find asleep once again so I got ready.”

“Come back to bed.”

“But I’m in my regular clothes.”

“I don’t care, I need my human pillow.”

“That’s what I am to you? Woaw it hurts!”

Juhyun giggles. “Come please Seulgi.” she pouts without opening her eyes. Seulgi gives up once more as she goes under the sheets, letting the girl hugging her. She decides to play games on her phone, then to watch a tv show. She lets herself becomes a giant teddy bear for almost two more hours. When she’s bored of playing games she just watches her, she knows it’s creepy but hey, what can she do? Seungwan wakes up first and doesn’t immediately understand the situation. When Seulgi tells her the story she laughs so hard that Juhyun also wakes up.

When Seulgi’s finally free, she’s a bit disappointed, even though she was bored as hell, it was really cute.

 

The next time she sees her is at school.”Hey Seulgi! Come here for a bit please!” Juhyun stops her.

She walks to Juhyun, only to see her with her boyfriend, Bogum.

“Hi Juhyun, Hi Bogum, how are you both doing?”

“Fine thank you and you Seulgi?” Her boyfriend is the first one to answer.

“Same!”

“Actually we wanted to ask you something!” Juhyun exclaims.

Seulgi looks at them, confused.

“I’m having a party next Saturday, and I would like to invite you and Seungwan.” Bogum starts.

“Oh it’s really nice, but as Juhyun knows, I’m not much of a party person. So I think I’d have to decline.”

“Come on Seulgi! It will be your first big party! You’re eighteen, don’t you think it’s time to begin?”

“I don’t really know…”

“Seungwan will be here!”

“You didn’t even ask her yet, am I right?”

“Okay it’s true but she will come I know it.”

“In that case, I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you Seulgi, I will text you my address and will give your all the details in a few days.” Bogum precise as Juhyun beams.

“I said that I will think about it!” she half shouts as she leaves.

“It means yes!” Juhyun yells backs.

Seulgi chuckles.

Its true that she never went to a big party, she never really drank alcohol, just to try and she didn’t like it. But as her friend says, it may be time for her to begin. Perhaps what could go wrong? It could be ah opportunity for her to make new friends. Maybe she’ll meet someone that will make her forget about her current crush?

 

She receives a call from Seungwan that night.

‘Seulgi! Juhyun told me you were coming to Bogum’s party! Is that true?’

‘I kind of have no choice, so I guess it is. What about you?’

‘If you’re going, I’m going too! It’s going to be your first big party, I’m so proud of you’

‘We should arrive at the same time then, I will ask Bogum if we should bring anything.’

‘It’ll probably be alcohol, so don’t worry I’ll take care of it.’ Seulgi grimaces, it’s true that party rhymes with alcohol.

‘Okay no problem, thanks.’

‘You’re welcome! See you tomorrow Seul!’

‘See you tomorrow’ she says as she hangs up.

As soon as the call is over, she closes her eyes and sighs. She has a feeling it will be chaotic.

 

She finds herself waiting for Seungwan to come out of the market on Saturday evening.

“Seulgi! I bought the bottles.”

“Finally, what took you so long?”

“I couldn’t choose, there were so many good brands.”

Seulgi rolls her eyes. “You sound like an alcoholic.”

“Maybe I am?”

She chuckles. “They didn’t even check your ID?”

“No, they never do, and if they catch you they will only tell you that’s it’s not possible. So you try in another shop.”

“You’re breaking the law.”

“I know.”

“Okay let’s take the bus now, we’re going to be late.”

At that moment she receives an angry text from Juhyun asking them where they are.

“Oh no, I received a text from the monster.”

“Juhyun? Is she scolding us?”

“She is.”

“Okay let’s go to the bus fast! I don’t want to die tonight.”

The sounds of the bottle hitting is coming out of Seungwan’s bag.

“Give me one bottle, it’s not really discreet because of the sound.

The girl nods and hands her one bottle of vodka. Seulgi puts it in her bag as they start to run.

“Shouldn’t we bring juice to mix the alcohol with?”

“No don’t worry, Bogum told us not to. He bought a lot of it already. He has everything planned.”

“Okay that’s great because I’m not drinking pure vodka I tell you. I already smelled it, and it’s like gas.”

“Don’t worry Seul, I’ll take care of your initiation.” she winks.

Seulgi sighs.

 

 

They arrive in front of a very modern house after a few minutes.

“Are you sure it’s here?” Seulgi asks.

“I think so I can hear music already! Come one!” she grabs her.

Seungwan rings at the house and a few seconds later the couple opens the door.

“Sorry we’re late! There was a lot of traffic so it took longer than usual. But we brought alcohol!” they both put their best fake smiles.

“It’s okay,!” half of the guests aren’t here yet.” Bogum laughs.

“You’re still late!” Juhyun interrupts.

“Come in, you can put your bags in my room and the alcohol on the counter! Follow me.”

They enter and Seulgi is shocked, the house is beautiful. Completely in blanc and white, it gives her elegance. They put the alcohol in the kitchen first before going upstairs for the bags. The music is already loud and there seems to be at least twenty people inside.

“Feel free to go anywhere and use anything!”

“Thank you!” they both said. “He’s so nice.” Seungwan whispers once he’s gone. “So Seulgi, you should start drinking!”

“Already? But not everyone is here yet.”

“You seriously think that half of the people here are not drunk?”

Seungwan is right, she saw people dancing under the influence of alcohol in the living room.

“Okay but only a bit okay?”

“Sure, let’s go downstairs.”

Juhyun seems to be waiting for them next to the counter.

“Let’s make Seulgi drink!” Seungwan says once again!

“Okay! I’ll take the juice. Here take this glass.”

Seungwan takes the bottle of alcohol and pours some in the glass. Juhyun rapidly adds juice before trying to shake the beverage.

“Here. Drink fast.”

“Fast, why fast?”

“Just do it.”

“Hmm okay.” she follows Juhyun’s order and drinks it in one go.

“How is it?”

“It’s okay but I know that if there was no juice it would be disgusting.”

They chuckle. “Do you want another one?”

“Sure.”

“Okay let’s make three this time.”

“She going to get drunk so fast.” Seungwan whispers to a nodding Juhyun.

“Hey I heard you!”

 

Thirty minutes later, the guests are almost all her and the girls are dancing hard with everyone. Seulgi is the most intoxicated even though she’s just tipsy at the moment. She bumps in almost everyone but nobody cares. She suddenly feels the need to pee and stops her dancing session to find the toilets.

“Excuse-me, do you know where the toilets are?” she asks a dark haired girl on the way.

“Yes, this way, then turn right. By the way I think we don’t know each other right? I’m Sooyoung. Nice to meet you.” she says extending her hand.

Seulgi shakes it. “Nice to meet you Sooyoung, I’m Seulgi. I’m Juhyun’s best friend.”

“Bogum’s girlfriend?”

“Yep.”

“I see!”

Suddenly someone yells the girl name.

“It seems like I need to go, but I hope to see you later?”

“Of course, see you Sooyoung!”

“See you Seulgi.” she winks.

Seulgi face turns red because of her last action. The girl goes back to trying to find the bathroom because she totally forgot the explanations. She finally finds it after five minutes.

“Seulgi where were you?” Juhyun half shouts because of the music.

“Peeing!”

Juhyun chuckles. “Do you want another drink?”

“Yes!”

She goes back to dancing and the girl brings her a drink. “Here, how about next time we drinks shots?”

“It’s pure?”

“Yes, but it’s shots, you don’t even feel them.”

“Okay then let me finish my drink.” she drinks it in one go.

Juhyun opens her eyes wide. “Oh my, I didn’t know you had that in you.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Juhyun.” she giggles.

The girl leans dangerously towards her and whispers in her ear. “Really?”

Seulgi nods and also whispers in the girl’s ear. Must be because of the alcohol. “Really.” She then grabs her hand dances with her. She feels the girl getting closer and closer to her, to the point where Seulgi circles her neck while she circles her waist. At that moment she forgets everything next to them. It’s just her and Juhyun. Until Bogum asks for his girlfriend to come.

“I’ll come back soon, we’ll take the shots after okay?”

“Okay.”

 

Seulgi doesn’t even talk to anyone or goes somewhere else, she’s just dancing, stuck in her own world. She thinks that alcohol is not that bad after all.

“Hey Seulgi!” someone calls her name, waking her up from her trance.

“Sooyoung?”

“It’s me!” she says as she makes her spin using her hand.

They start to dance together and laugh.

“You’re really pretty.” the boldness of alcohol makes Seulgi acts once again.

“Thank you, but you are more.” she smiles.

“Nonsense.”

“I’m always right Seulgi.” she winks. “Where are you studying? Same school as Bogum?”

“Yes and you?”

“Met too, how come I’ve never seen you?”

“I only stay with Seungwan or Juhyun.” she giggles.

“Sim Seungwan?”

“Yep why?”

“She’s in my class.”

“Oh really? She’s lucky?”

“Why is that?”

“She has a funny and pretty lady in her class.”

“You’re really charming. Drunk too, but it’s okay I drank quite a lot myself.”

“Then it’s no problem.”

Sooyoung pulls Seulgi’s hair behind her ear, clearly wanting more with the girl. Seulgi looks at her eyes and softly smiles. Until someone drags her away from the girl. She turns and sees what seem to be an angry Juhyun.

“Sooyoung, what are you doing with Seulgi?”

“Oh, here come the witch.”

“What did you call me?”

“The witch. And I was just trying to dance with Seulgi, is that a problem?”

Seulgi is confused, she tries to follow the conversation.

“Do you know each other?” she finally asks.

“We were friends when we were children and our families are close.” says Sooyoung.

“But we’re not.” Juhyun answers through gritted teeth.

“You’re not her mom, and I wasn’t doing anything, you should calm down.”

Juhyun intertwines her fingers with Seulgi’s.

“Sooyoung if you touch one of her hair, I will kill you.”

“Oh really?” Sooyoung says as she grabs Seulgi’s other free hand.

Seulgi panics, this is not going to end well.

“That’s it you’re done!”

Juhyun was about to grab her but Bogum arrives and stops her from doing anything. Separating Seulgi from her friend and letting her with the new girl.

“What’s happening here?” he asks. “You two know each other?”

“We did.” answers Sooyoung.

“Why did you invite her? I don’t trust her, I don’t want her to befriend Seulgi.”

“Juhyun I don’t know what problems you have with her, but Seulgi can make her own decisions.”

Juhyun looks at Seulgi’s hand still joined with Sooyoung’s one. Maybe she’s wrong but she thinks that the girl is hurt.

“Yeah right, I won’t disturb you anymore, have fun with her Seulgi.” she says coldly before leaving.

Once she’s gone, the dark haired girl is the first one to talk.

“That was one of a show.”

“What exactly happened between you two?”

“I can’t really tell you. But I made a mistake in the past, that’s why she angry like that. She probably wants to protect you. I swear I don’t have any bad intentions though.”

“Okay thank you for telling me that. I think I’ll go check on her.”

The girl nods “See you later.”

“See you.”

 

Before going upstairs, she grabs a drink and drowns it in once. Then another one. She doesn’t forget to take the whole bottle before trying to find her friend.

When she tries to enter in the bathroom, the door is locked.

“Is there someone in here?”

No answer.

“Juhyun open the door please.” Still silence. “Come on, I know you’re in here.”

Seulgi will play her last card.

“If you don’t let me enter, I’ll call your parents.” Even though she hates them, she has their phone number, and they would kill their daughter if they knew she’s a bit drunk. She hears the door unlocking.

“Are you crazy?”

Seulgi takes the opportunity and goes in the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

“Of course I wouldn’t do that. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“You brought the vodka?”

“I was thinking maybe you’ll need it.”

“Okay, give it to me.”

She drinks directly from the bottle.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m sorry I don’t want to talk.”

“It’s okay.” She walks towards Juhyun and sits beside her. She looks at her and takes her hand, to give her comfort. “By the way I still have to take my first shots with you.”

Juhyun doesn’t say anything and just stands up, she opens two drawers and takes two plastic cups.

“For the shots.”

She fills them with a bit of vodka and hands one to Seulgi.

“Ready?”

“No?”

“Okay, one, two, three.”

They drink together and Juhyun starts laughing as Seulgi makes the worst face ever.

“It’s disgusting.” she says as she drinks water from the faucet.

“Your face is so funny.”

“How can you just drink it like that?”

“Force of habit.”

 

They then drink at least six shots together, both starting to get really really drunk. At least to the point where Seulgi has to rest her head on her friend’s thighs because everything is spinning.

“You know Juhyun… I’ll always be there for you.”

“Me too Seul.” Seulgi feels like she’s caressing her hair, but she’s not sure. She’s too drunk to be sure, maybe she’s just dreaming.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” she says, feeling that this is a bad idea.

“Never.”

“Well you are.”

Juhyun smiles. “You are too Seulgi. The most beautiful girl I have seen.”

It’s Seulgi’s turn to smile this time. She knows that if she wasn’t already red because of the alcohol, she would have turned into a tomato.

Juhyun continues. “Am I more beautiful than Sooyoung?”

“Of course, no one is more beautiful than you.”

Then Juhyun does something unexpected, because she bends, and kisses her nose. They just look at each other without saying anything. Until Juhyun does the same again but on her cheek, then her forehead. Is that a dream? Why is she doing that?

The mind of a drunk Seulgi is not the smartest one, because she straighten, and kisses her nose, then her cheek, then her forehead too. In the same order. Just, what is happening?

“Let’s play a game.” Juhyun starts.

Seulgi looks at her, waiting for the next sentence.

“You have to repeat every action I do. Okay?”

She nods.

Juhyun starts by drinking a shot, Seulgi does the same. Then she puts her hair back in place, followed by Seulgi. She then pinched Seulgi’s cheek lightly. The girl tries to do the same but ends up pinching her too hard because of how intoxicated she is.

“Ouch.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really drunk.”

“It’s okay.”

Juhyun caresses her own cheek, where she got pinched. Seulgi does the same, still in the game. She then puts her hand on Seulgi’s. Once again the later does the same. That’s where it got confusing again. Juhyun kisses Seulgi’s other cheek, her hand still on the other. Seulgi obligated. She puts her other free hand on her best friend’s waist and lean closer. Dangerously close. Of course still in the game, she goes the same but stops before their lips can touch. She knows she’s going to regret that tomorrow.

She feels that she can lost control at every moment, seeing her that close is very dangerous, she can even feel her breath hitting her own lips. It doesn’t help when Juhyun starts to stare at Seulgi’s.

“Juhyun are you okay?” she whispers.

“More than okay and you?”

“Same.”

She goes back to staring at the other girl. But just before they can say or do anything else, someone knocks hard at the door.

“Juhyun are you okay in there?” It’s Bogum’s voice.

Seulgi stares at the wall, too embarrassed to look at the girl.

“Y-Yeah I’m okay, you can wait for me downstairs I’m coming.”

Then she stands up first, Seulgi also does. They wait in silence for two minutes before leaving the room.

“I need to check on Bogum, see you after?”

“Of course.”

She watches her leave. What the just happened? Is the alcohol turning everyone a bit gay or something like that? She’s pretty sure it was not normal. But maybe, it’s just the alcohol again. Because in the end she sees her making out with him in the living room. She just decides to drink once again.

 

She finds herself throwing up in the toilets one hour later. After a lot of dancing and a lot of drunk conversations with strangers. But she’s laughing, because of the amount she drank, she doesn’t even feel like she’s throwing up.

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

She recognizes this voice.

“Sooyoung?”

“It’s me, are you an alcoholic or something?”

“Today is my first time drinking.” she giggles.

“Then, why did you drink that much?”

“I don’t know my limits yet.” she sighs and closes her eyes, everything is spinning like in a roller coaster.

“Now you know that next time you shouldn’t be drinking like that.” she hears the girl laughing.

“Yes ma’am.”

Sooyoung ties her hair and pats her back.

“Do you feel like throwing up again, or can I help yourself up?”

“I think I won’t throw up anymore.”

“Okay then come here.” she helps her stand and makes her sits on a chair. She wipes the rest of vomit she has next to and makes her spit water, to clean . “Don’t drink water now, you’re going to puke again if you do. I have to add that you’re so y like that, almost falling on the floor.” she laughs.

“Thank you.” she chuckles.

“Why are you so nice to me, when Juhyun shouted at you.”

“Because I know that she easily gets angry but not for long. I’m not scared of her. She shouldn’t have yelled on me in front of everyone.”

Seulgi hums.

“She’s your best friend, right?”

“She is.”

They cannot continue their conversation because Seungwan enters the room and sees Seulgi on the verge of falling. Sooyoung has to hold her.

“Seulgi are you okay?”

She makes a O gesture with her hand.

“Sooyoung right? What happened?”

“Yep it’s right and you’re Seungwan. She drank too much and puked in the toilets.”

“Oh my god. We shouldn’t have made her drink.”

“I think she drank a lot alone, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“She right.” Intervenes Seulgi.

Seungwan chuckles. “It’s already three and a half in the morning everyone is leaving. I’m going to ask Bogum if she can sleeps in one of the rooms. I’ll be right back. By the way thank you for taking care of her.”

“Okay we will wait here, and it’s normal don’t worry.” she smiles.

Seungwan leaves the room.

“So Seulgi do you think that you can fall asleep.” she jokes. The girl is almost taking a nap on the chair.

“Yes.” She mutters.

“By the way, do you know Yerim?”

“Juhyun’s sister?” she grumbles.

“Yes, how is she?”

“Why?”

“Because I used to take care of Yerim when she was a child.”

“She’s fine, I saw her a few weeks ago, but she’s crazy.”

“She always has been, but I’m glad she’s doing okay.” she giggles.

“You should ask Juhyun, it’s her sister.”

“She wouldn’t even answer me, you know that.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

The door bursts open at that moment, revealing a worried Juhyun and her boyfriend.

“I told you not to touch her.” she grunts at Sooyoung.

“Would you have preferred me to let her alone?” she snaps back.

“You should have called me or someone else.”

“You’re really that childish.”

“Stop girls, let’s bring Seulgi to a room. She needs to rest.” Bogum interrupts.

“I’ll take her.” Juhyun declares, leaving Sooyoung behind.

She helps her standing up, and Seungwan helps her. They climb the stairs and put her on a bed in a big room.

Bogum leaves to say goodbye to the guests while Seungwan goes to the bathroom.

“Why did you drink that much, I’m sorry I didn’t notice.” Juhyun whispers as she sits on the bed.

“It’s okay.”

“Don’t do that ever again please.” she caresses her hair.

“Okay.”

She lets silence engulfs them.

“Tomorrow you’re going to feel like .” she chuckles.

Seulgi hums.

“Next time I’ll take care of you I promise.”

“Juhyun, you confuse me a lot.” a sleepy Seulgi says.

“What do you mean?”

But she falls asleep before she can give the girl an answer.

Juhyun turns off the lights and closes the door, before wishing her a good night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day Seulgi wakes up in a random room with a big headache. She looks at her surroundings and remembers last night. She messed up. What did she do. She remembers most of it, mostly the game with Juhyun. What the was that. The girl literally implied that she wanted to kiss her. Or maybe Seulgi was too drunk and she misinterpreted. But it was a big misinterpretation. Maybe the alcohol was just doing something weird to Juhyun or something like that? She will probably never know. And will probably never ask. Just pretend that nothing happened. She also remembers Sooyoung, she’ll have to apologize to her too. She took care of her even though they just met. She’s never drinking that much again, never. She gets up after putting her stuff together and discreetly goes to the living room. Trying to see if there’s anyone left here.

“Oh, you’re awake Seulgi.” Bogum says.

“Yes and alive.” she jokes.

He laughs. “Everyone left not that long ago, do you want to eat or drink something?”

“No I’m good thank you.”

“Okay, if you change your mind, tell me.”

She doesn’t speak for a few seconds.

“By the way I wanted to apologize for yesterday, I drank way too much. I’ll never do that again.”

He giggles. “It’s okay, everyone goes there at one point. I did too, so no need for excuses.”

“You’re nice, thanks. I just have a question.”

“Sure.”

“Can you give me Sooyoung’s contact? I should apologize to her too, she had to take care of me.”

“I’ll give it to you but Juhyun will probably try to strangle you.”

“Yes but I still need to apologize and thank her.” she chuckles.

“Okay then I’ll send you her instagram if that’s good?”

“Perfect. Do you need help with anything? That’s the least I can do.”

“No don’t worry, I’ll just ask the maids, and everyone is almost clean. Go rest, you need it.”

“Okay thank you, see you at school.”

“See you.”

 

She leaves the house sighing, she fights with her whole life not to throw up in the bus. She receives a notification from Bogum, sharing a profile with her. She decides that she will check it later. She arrives home and because destiny loves her, her mother just came back from her first part time job.

“Hello Seulgi, how was the party?”

“It was great, but I’m really tired.”

“You look a bit pale, are you okay?”

“Yes, just tired as I told you. I should go take a shower.”

“Okay I’m leaving in one hour.”

“I’ll come say goodbye then.” she answers as she walks fast towards the bathroom.

Inside she turns the faucet on in order to hide the noise and throws up in the toilets. Yep she’s never drinking like that again.

 

After cleaning up and saying goodbye to her mother she decides to add Sooyoung on instagram. The girl immediately accepts her request and follows her. She stalks her account. A few followers, pretty pictures. The popular girl. She starts typing an apologize message and hesitates a few seconds before clicking on ‘send’. Juhyun will kill her it’s okay.

She receives an answer also very fast.

 

Hi Seulgi, don’t worry it was nothing, are you doing better now?

Seulgi smiles, and types back.

 

You’re so nice, thanks. And not really it’s even hard now, the karma is catching up on me. And you?

 

You should rest then! On my side nothing weird.

 

I’m glad then, btw never drinking like that ever again.

 

Everyone say that the first time!

 

They talk for a few minutes before Seulgi tells her that she needs to take a nap. Just as she was about to puts her phone on the table, she receives a notification from Juhyun. It’s a call.

‘Allo?’

‘Allo Seulgi, are you okay?’

‘I am, and you?’

‘I’m not the one who was throwing up yesterday.’ she chuckles.

‘You make a point. But I’m finally okay now.’

‘Okay that’s good.’

‘I wanted to apologize, I bothered a bunch of people yesterday, including you.’

‘You didn’t bother me at all, don’t worry.’

I’m pretty sure I did.’

‘I was the one bothering you, I shouldn’t have made you drink that much I’m sorry.’

‘You didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I’ll call you laterI need to take a nap.’

‘Okay sleep well, don’t forget to actually call me.’

‘I won’t, I promise. Bye Juhyun.’

‘Bye Seulgi.’

She finally closes her eyes, letting sleep take over her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next week, some students make fun of her, having seen her really drunk. That’s not that bad because she managed to make a few new acquaintances. Some of them even said ‘Hi’ everyday. She’s still ashamed of course but it’s better to see the positive sides. She sees Sooyoung on Thursday. The girl is talking to Seungwan. It’s new.

“Hi Seul!” her friend says first before being followed by the other girl.

“Hi! How are you doing?”

“Fine and you?” Sooyoung’s the first one to answer.

“Fine too.”

“You’re probably surprised to see us together. I was making small talks with her, and guess what, she’s nice!”

“I’ll take the compliment thanks.” Sooyoung laughs.

“Yes, I figured it out when she took care of me at the party.” she giggles.

“Forgot this part.” her friend laughs.

“Guys, I’m going to eat lunch, if you want to join me? I’ll eat outside, I’m sick of the food here.”

Seulgi remembers Juhyun, what would she say? Even if she was drunk, she clearly doesn’t like that girl, she would kill Seulgi.

“I’m in!”

Seulgi looks at Seungwan agreeing and now the girls are both waiting for her response.

“A-Ah yeah I guess we can.”

“Let’s go then! What would you like to eat?”

Seulgi let her friend choose while she’s lost in thoughts. She decided to agree because of Juhyun’s behavior. She’s still angry because of what happened at the party. But at the same time still pretending that it never happened. For her own good.

The girl takes them to a pizza restaurant, following Seungwan’s inquiry.

They talk about basic things, and surprisingly she has more in common with Sooyoung than she thought. They laugh and Seulgi almost died because of it. Coughing as if she had a pneumonia. Which made them laugh even more.They decide to take an ice cream before going back to school. Obviously as they walk towards the exit, they see Juhyun and Bogum. The pair looks at them and only the man waves his hand. Juhyun is too occupied with glaring at them. Seulgi sighs, she’ll have to take care of that later.

“I’ll talk with her today.”

“Should I come too?” asks Seungwan.

“I think that she’ll get angrier if you come too.”

“You’re right. I trust you then.”

“You can.”

 

Of course, it was impossible to find the girl for the whole day. So she finds herself in front of her house, getting drenched because she forgot to take an umbrella. She rings at the door and no one opens.

“Juhyun, I know you’re in there! Open the door please!”

Still nothing.

“Juh-“

“Sorry Seulgi, it seems that she doesn’t want to talk to you.” Yerim opens the door and answers.

“Hi Yerim, and I know but I need to talk to her.”

“You don’t have any umbrella? Come in, but just because you are drenched! I need to be on my sister’s side.”

“Thank you.”

She cleans her shoes against the carpet as she enters the mansion.

“Wait here, I’ll give you a towel.”

She comes back after a few seconds. “Here.”

“Thank you.”

“What happened between you and Juhyun?”

“Complicated story. You know Sooyoung right?”

“Sooyoung? How is she?”

“She’s good, but do you know why they don’t talk anymore? I know it’s not my business but it would be easier to make Juhyun forgive me if I knew.”

“I’m sorry I just know that they suddenly stopped being friends a few years ago.”

“Okay I guess I’ll have to improvise then. Would you let me go to your sister’s room?”

“I don’t know, she told me she really doesn’t want to see you.”

“Yes but she’s in a bad mood right? I can fix it if I talk to her.”

Seulgi sees that Yerim is hesitating.

“Okay you can go, but if she insists for you to get out, you get out okay?”

“I promise.”

With that, she starts to climb the stairs, towards her friend’s room. She gently knocks on the door.

“Yerim I already told you I want to be alone!” a crying Juhyun says as she opens it. “How did you get in there? I don’t want to talk to you!“

Seulgi takes the opportunity and pushes Juhyun back in her room, as well as herself. She then locks the door.

“I’m not leaving until your explain the problem to me.”

“Go away Seulgi!” she says as she starts to push her. Seulgi decides to force a hug on her, it looks like she really needs it. Being stronger, it’s not that hard. A few minutes later, the exhausted girl gives up and just cries while holding Seulgi.

“It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” Seulgi tries to comfort her as she caresses her hair. She leads them to the bed where she makes her sit, without letting her go.

“Juhyun, I’ve never seen you in a state like that, please talk to me.” she detaches herself from the girl, to dry her tears with her thumbs.

“I can’t Seulgi, you would never understand.”

“Juhyun I would understand everything for you.” she looks at her in the eyes, trying to show her sincerity.

It breaks her heart to see Juhyun like that, tears falling, in a bad state. Since the girl probably won’t speak, she starts.

“I’m sorry, it’s true that I should have talked to you about going to eat with her. But I’m very confused Juhyun, can’t you explain everything to me? She was nothing but nice at the party, she literally took care of me while I was throwing up. So it’s common sense to be nice to her in return. I need explanation please, I hope you know that you can trust me.”

“I.. I’m not ready yet Seulgi, I promise I will explain one day, but right now I’m not ready, I hope you can wait for it.”

“I understand, of course I will wait.”

“Can you just hug me?”

“Yes.”

They both lie on the bed, Seulgi keeping the girl warm in her arms. She didn’t know she would give in so easily. She’s down bad. But she can see that she’s hurting, and it must have been for a few years. She deserves an award because she never noticed before. She closes her eyes and enjoys the moment, once again she shouldn’t be doing that, she’s just falling deeper for the girl every time.

“Juhyun?”

“Yes?”

“Were you drunk at the party?”

“Not that much, why?”

Seulgi couldn’t get more confused, does that mean she was sober at the moment of the game?

“Well at one point I was drunk, but I became sober not long after.”

Must be the moment of the game.

“Okay.”

“Why?”

“I just wanted to know, it’s nothing important, don’t worry.”

“Okay.”

Juhyun holds her tighter.

“I don’t want to lose you Seul.”

“You will never lose me, what are you talking about?”

“Just promise me you won’t leave me.”

“I will never Juhyun, you too important to me.”

“Okay, I believe you, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Sensing that the girl doesn’t want to talk about that either, she doesn’t ask anything else.

“You’re just as important to me, even more.” she adds.

Seulgi giggles. “Is that so?”

She only feels Juhyun’s head nodding against her.

She could be that badass girl that everyone envies because of her looks, and she can also be the biggest baby ever.

“Do you want me to call Bogum?”

“No.”

“Okay.” She softly smiles.

 

They stay like that for one hour, until Seulgi’s phone rings. It’s her mother.

‘Hi Seulgi, I didn’t see you anywhere, I was wondering if you’re at a friend’s house or somewhere else?’

‘Hi mom, sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m at Juhyun’s.’

‘Oh, okay when are you going to come back?’

She looks at Juhyun, typing something on her phone and showing her.

Stay the night?

She nods. ‘Can I spend the night here if it’s okay?’

‘Sure, do you want me to bring you some stuff?’

Once again Juhyun shows her screen. I’ll lend you everything you need.

‘No it’s okay, she will give me what I need.’

‘Okay, see you tomorrow sweetie.’

‘See you mom!’

 

“She really cares about you.”

“Yes, she’s the best mom ever.”

“I wish my parents were like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“They might give me everything that I want but I barely spend time with them. They just like to scold me. But they’re not really affectionate.”

“I think that they love you a lot, but they may have difficulties to express their emotions. And you’re basically the perfect daughter. Good grades, pretty, well perfect!”

Juhyun makes a motion to flip her hair. “You’re right.” They both laugh. “But seriously thanks Seulgi, you’re always there for me. And you always have the right words.”

“You’re welcome, I’m here for that.” she winks. “By the way, I should send a message to Seungwan if it’s okay. She was worried about you.”

“Of course it’s okay, please tell her.”

She starts to type the message.

 

Hi Seungwan, I’m with Juhyun now and she’s okay don’t worry.

 

Juhyun takes the phone from her hands and changes the message.

Hi Seungwan, I’m with the nicest and prettiest girl ever now and she’s okay don’t worry.

 

“Really? Aren’t you a bit narcissistic?”

“Isn’t it true?” she laughs.

“Okay true, but not nicest, you hit me everyday!”

“Not everyday!” she says as she hits her.

“You see! Everyday!”

“Not true.” she laughs.

Seulgi sighs and looks at her for a few seconds.

“I like it better when you smile like that.”

“Me too.”

“I missed you Juhyun.”

“I miss you too Seulgi, how long has it been?”

“I don’t know, but let’s forget about it.”

“Okay, we should do that more often though.”

“Everything for you, majesty.”

Juhyun hides herself in her friend’s neck once again. Making the latter smile.

 

Once they’re finally ready to go to sleep, they both go back to the bed and fall in dreamland, both holding the other tightly.

 

The next morning, Seulgi wakes up first. She watches the girl, still incredibly beautiful when she’s sleeping. She’s in love. She knows it. She smiles as tears fall from her eyes. When she feels that the girl is moving, she quickly dries them with her fingers.

“When did you wake up?”

“A few minutes ago.”

“Do we really need to go to school?” she asks as she holds Seulgi’s arm.

Seulgi would really like to skip. Her heart is aching, it should be a good justification.

“I think we need to go.”

“I’ll get ready first, if it’s okay with you?”

“Of course.” she smiles.

“Seulgi, are you okay?”

“I am, why?”

“You don’t look like it.”

“I’m fine, maybe because I just woke up.”

“Okay. I’ll go now.”

She watches the girl leaving and falls back on the bed. Just how stupid is she? Even though she promised the girl that she’ll be closer to her. She needs to put some distance, because she’s already heartbroken. She’s just like this cliché, in love with her best friend.

 

When she sees Seungwan in the hallways that afternoon, her friend immediately notices that something is wrong, and without saying anything drags her to the rooftop. She closes the door behind them.

“Seulgi, what’s happening?”

Seulgi sighs and decides to dodge the question. “Nothing, just tired.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Seungwan gets angry.

“I swear Seungw-“

“Seulgi!” she grabs her arm.

“Please do-“

“No Seulgi. You’re my best friend, I know that you’re not okay, and I want you to get better, so talk to me please. Just trust me, it will help you!” This time she really says in with an aggressive tone.

“The problem you want to know the problem? The ing problem is that I’m in love with Juhyun. I’ve been crushing on her since we met, but now I’m ing in love with her!” she shouts as she cries. “And it hurts! It hurts because I see her everyday, it hurts because she loves her perfect boyfriend, it hurts because she loves to hold me, but mainly it hurts because I’ll never be anything more than her best friend! Only her best friend.” she pauses to breathe. “I thought it would be okay, that I’ll be satisfied with being her friend. But in the end, I’ll do everything for her. And that’s the problem.” she finally says.

Seungwan stays silent for a few seconds and just walks to Seulgi to hug her.

“Seulgi, I’m so sorry, it must be so hard.”

She nods as she continues to cry.

“I’m going to help you, I still don’t really know how, but I will.”

That afternoon she skips classes and follows Seungwan’s advice which is to go back home.

 

As soon as she goes back home she tells her mother she was feeling sick and that she probably caught the flu so she can avoid questions.

She then fall on her bed. Hoping to get a bit of rest. But apparently Juhyun somehow got told that she left because she receives a call from the girl. This time, she decides to be selfish and puts her phone back on the small table next to her bed.

When she thought that Juhyun would give up, she was wrong. She receives a message.

Seulgi, are you okay? I heard that you didn’t go to your classes, did something happen?

Then another one.

Seulgi please answer me.

 

This time she just puts her phone on silent and flips it so she doesn’t see the screen anymore. She decides to take a nap, being exhausted after feeling all these emotions. At least she got relieved when she finally told Seungwan. She comforted her and she will not let her like that. The thing now, is that if Seulgi wants to be okay, she’ll have to cut her friendship with Juhyun. The girl may never forgive her, but that’s the only choice. She finally falls asleep because of exhaustion, while having all of these worries i’m her head.

 

Her mother wakes her up a few hours later. She grunts as she opens her eyes.

“Honey, Seungwan is here, she brought you food.”

“Hi Seulgi. Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

She enters the roll and smiles at Seulgi’s mom. Once the latter is gone Seungwan sits on the bed and starts to talk.

“Are you doing better?”

“A bit. Sleeping helped.” she checks the hour on her phone, she slept for three hours. She sighs as she sees all the notifications she got, all from one girl.

“She tried to contact you, right?”

“Yes, four missed calls, and six messages. But I don’t feel like opening them now.”

“It’s okay don’t. But we need to talk. I think that you know that if you don’t distance yourself from her, it’ll never get better.”

“I know, but it’ll hurt her.”

“Probably less than you Seulgi.”

“You’re right..”

“Maybe you should tell her the truth, she’ll understand?”

“Seungwan, I heard her saying bad things about gay people. That’s why I was so scared to talk to someone.”

“Oh my…”

“So no if I tell her, she’ll see me as a freak. I don’t want her to have this image of me.”

“I understand. But you’re right, if you don’t find an excuse, she’ll be hurt. She really cares about you.”

“I think I should stay as her friend. After all next year she’ll be in another school, we won’t see each other as much as now, and maybe we will naturally get distanced.”

“So your decision is to keep suffering for a few months? I think that another one would be better.”

“There’s no other good option.”

“I still think you should tell her, and if she reacts like a homophobic person, you should tell yourself that you’re doing better without a friend like that.”

“It’s hard for me Seungwan, I’m sorry but I can’t do it.”

“Seulgi…”

“I think I can do it if I distance myself physically from her. Like no hugs, no sleeping in the same bed. Things like that.”

“Do you really think that’s the problem?”

“Maybe the main one, because when she gets close to me, it gets my hopes up, but then I got reminded of reality.”

“If you think so.” she sighs.

“I should answer her calls.”

“I told her you weren’t feeling well. I saw her in the corridors, she was all panicked. So you can pretend to be asleep if you want to.”

“Okay, but I think I still should. She’s my friend, even after all of that.”

“I understand.”

They both stay silent for a few seconds.

“By the way, look at that.” she says as she takes the pringles off the bag.

“Pringles!”

“I knew this was going to help you!”

“Definitely!”

For one hour, they laugh about things, avoiding the forbidden subject. And Seulgi has fun, without worrying.

 

When Seungwan has to go, Seulgi thanks her. She’s lucky to have a friend like that. But now she has to answer to these messages. Maybe she should call her? But maybe it’ll disturb her?

So she starts to type a message.

Hi, sorry I was asleep, I wasn’t feeling well, so I came back home.

Almost as soon as she hits sends, she gets a phone call. She declines it as she panics.

Sorry, my mom is sleeping. I can’t answer. Obviously a lie.

Hi, it’s okay. Are you doing better? Do you need something?

Seulgi giggles, the only thing she really needs is her. But she won’t say it to her face like that.

Yes thanks, and no I don’t need anything don’t worry, but it’s nice to ask.

Anything for you, Seul ;)

She rolls her eyes and decides to like her message, not responding, ending the conversation.

 

The next day she also skips school, faking a disease. She’s been talking everyday with Sooyoung, especially since the girl called her on Friday to ask if she was doing okay or not. It helps her, because she keeps her thoughts away from Juhyun.

Spreading of the girl, she still sends lots of messages to Seulgi. It’s taking all of her strength to stop her from answering right away. It’s magically easier to ignore her when she sees her new Instragam post with her boyfriend.

 

At school she doesn’t even have time to make an ‘avoid Juhyun plan’, because the girl is waiting for her at the main gate. She runs to her and hugs her. This time Seulgi doesn’t wrap her arms around the girl.

“Are you finally all good?”

“I’m not sick anymore, yay.”

“It’s good to hear, where do you have class? I’ll walk you there.”

“You have class too right? You’re not going to be late?” she tries to dissuade her.

“Yes but I don’t care about being late, that professor loves me too much.” she jokes.

Giving up she sighs. “Okay.”

She flinches when Juhyun tries to take her arm. The girl retracts it.

“Are you okay ?”

“Yes, I just hurt my arm yesterday. I bumped into a wall and it’s still sensitive.” she feels bad for saying such ridiculous lies. She’s going to find out soon or later at this pace.

Juhyun looks at her weirdly and they continue to walk without any physical interaction.

 

As they walk, Sooyoung sees Seulgi, and stops in order to say hi. Seulgi can feel her friend glaring at her.

“Hi Seul, you’re ready to go to class?”

“I’m never ready, even when I’m okay.” she giggles. She stops when she feels Juhyun intertwining their fingers.

“Hello to you too Juhyun.” Sooyoung sighs.

“Hello.”

She can feel that the girl is uncomfortable, but not in an angry way. More like a nervous one.

“Well, I’ll see you later Sooyoung! We need to go to the bathroom.” she says as she pushes her friend inside the room. Not even letting the girl respond. It’s true that she likes her but she can’t ignore her best friend’s emotions.

When they are inside she closes the door and checks if all the toilets are empty. When she confirms it she faces Juhyun.

“Are you okay?”

The girl has tears in her eyes.

“I’m good.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

“False.”

Seulgi sighs. “I’ll say it once more. You can trust me with anything.”

“I know.” she hugs Seulgi. “Let’s not talk about it anymore I’m okay.”

“Okay.”

“By the way, party at Jennie’s place on Friday?”

“Am I really invited?”

“Of course you are.”

“Seungwan too?”

“Of course.”

“But I only talked to Jennie like three or four times.”

“It’s a big party she basically invites everyone. Please come!”

“I don-“

“Seulgi please.” the older girl pouts.

“Okay, I’ll come.” she sighs.

“Yes!”

“Now it’s time to go to class.”

 

She texts Seungwan saying she lost another battle.

You didn’t lost we are going to a party! Youhou. But don’t drink like last time please.

She rolls her eyes. She will not make the same mistake again.

 

She indeed does, well not as much as last time. But she drinks, a lot. Because she saw Juhyun making out with Bogum. Which is very normal because it’s her boyfriend. She can’t help it, so she drinks and talks with everyone. This time she will not throw up. Just get drunk to forget.

She avoids her friend, and is surprisingly pretty good at it.

“Seungwan, have you seen? I’m avoiding Juhyun!”

“Don’t say it that loud! The walls have ears.”

“What? Your weird? They don’t have ears?”

Her friend sighs. “Seulgi stop drinking!”

“Okay!”

“Let’s dance with everyone.”

They do, for a few minutes before Seulgi feels the need to breathe some fresh air. She decides to explore the garden, which is the biggest she’s ever seen. From big trees to playground, there is everything. Even with all these things the pool is the thing that really got her attention. She’s wondering if she’d be cold if she jumped in it. Would she catch a cold? When she was a child, she always dreamt about having one.

“I wouldn’t want to do that if I was you.”

Seulgi got startled. She looks at the stranger, it’s a tall man, handsome and looking sober. He probably saw her staring at it.

“Jumping?”

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

He giggles. “I think that you’re drunk, and you were actually thinking about it. But don’t worry, drunk ideas are the funniest.”

“If you say so.” she shrugs moving her shoulders.

“My name’s Kai by the way.”

“I’m Seulgi.”

“Nice to meet you Seulgi.”

“Nice to meet you Kai.”

He chuckles. “You seem like a sad person.”

“I think I’m okay.”

“Come on, you can tell me. I’m just a man you will probably never see again”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Then don’t spill the details. You really look like you want to talk to someone.”

“Fine. I’m just in love with someone that will never love me back.”

“I’ve been there too. Only time can help you.”

“What should I do? Ignore that person?”

“You should yes. But time separates people, if you wait long enough, you will fall out of love.” he says as he lights a cigarette. She frowns.

“It stinks.”

“Sorry, I’ll go on the other side, I’ll follow the wind so that you don’t get the smoke on you.”

“Thank you.”

“You know.” he blows some smoke. “I’m also in love with someone who won’t love me back here.”

“Who?”

“You don’t tell me who is your person but you ask for mine?”

“I’m just a drunk girl who will probably don’t remember this conversation tomorrow.”

“You’re right.” he laughs. “I’ll give you one hint. She’s beautiful.”

“That’s not a hint. Give me a real one.”

“Well, she has a boyfriend!”

“Hmm, too many girls have boyfriends.”

“I can’t give you her whole name.” he smiles.

“Whatever.”

“Seulgi?” she hears someone calling her. She recognizes the voice.

“Juhyun?”

And how funny is it, that Seulgi notices the change in Kai’s face when her friend walks to her, smiling. He doesn’t even know it, but they seem to be talking about the same person.

“I looked for you everywhere!” A drunk Juhyun says.

“I’m here.” she beans.

“I missed you.” she pouts, not even acknowledging the existence of Kai.

“Really?” That’s it, drunk and in love Seulgi is taking the lead. The plan of avoiding Juhyun being forgotten instantly.

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

“Really?” she smiles.

“Really.”

“Can you come back inside with me?”

“Yes, let’s go.” Before following her, she turns to Kai. “If what nice meeting you, I hope your problem will end.”

“Thanks Seulgi, you too. Let’s meet again one day.”

“Sure.”

 

When they arrived in the house, Juhyun looks back at him.

“Who is he, was he bothering you?”

“No he was nice”

“I don’t like the way he’s looking at you.” she glares.

“He was just exposing his problem to me.”

“Problem?”

“Something about being in love with someone that will never love you back.”

“The worst thing ever.” she says as she drags her in a bedroom and closes the door.

“I agree.”

“Did I skip a chapter? Are you in love with someone?”

“I-I’m not.” she sits on the bed.

“You sure?” she joins her.

“I am. I don’t have time for that.”

“I don’t want you to go out with some stinky teenage boy.”

“You are going out with a teenage boy Juhyun.”

“He’s not stinky at least.”

“I didn’t notice that he was stinking, you’re right.”

She slaps her arm laughing.

“Should I date a good smelling teenage girl instead?” Oh no. What did she say. “Well I-“

“Maybe you should. It’s better than these nasty boys.”

What Juhyun says shocks Seulgi. Are those words coming out from ? Is she drunk?

“Seulgi are you okay?”

“Y-Yes I just didn’t expect these words coming from you.”

“Why?”

“Well, it doesn’t seem like you support people that swing this way.”

“Let’s say that it’s complicated.”

“What do you mean complicated. You can talk to me Juhyun.”

“It’s just.. I’ve never told that to anyone but, my parents almost divorced because my father was seeing well.. another man. Which was complicated for me to understand. And still is.”

“I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I just, it’s hard for me, but I accept everyone. It’s just that sometimes the anger takes over me and I become a and say harsh words. So I’m sorry if you ever heard me while I was saying those things.”

“I understands now, it’s not easy, you’re strong Juhyun. And thank you for trusting me and telling me.”

“I don’t think so. Not when I say this type of things.”

Seulgi deeply sighs as she grabs her hand.

“You still are.”

They let silence engulfs the room.

“I know that it might be a lot but… If you want to I’m going to explain about Sooyoung.”

“Go ahead.”

“Please promise me you won’t tell this to anyone Seulgi. I’m telling you because I trust you more than anyone and that I know your understanding personality.”

“I promise, I will never tell anyone.”

“So… It started when we were just children. We were hanging out every day. In school or outside. Our families are really close so we were like sisters. The problem is that when we grew up, and when I was around thirteen years old. I realized I wasn’t only seeing her as a sister.”

Seulgi’s breath stops. What in the world is happening. She listens attentively as she sees tears falling from her friend’s eyes.

“I-I noticed that I acted differently around her because I fell in love. Everything would irritate me. Her new boyfriend, the way she acts with others… But at that time, I was a child and I confessed to her. She rejected me really hard. Calling me names and saying I was disgusting. It broke me.”

Seulgi’s still shocked. Honestly at the same time she wants to hit her head against the wall. Because Juhyun just described the situation Seulgi is in, but with her as the main protagonist this time. Until the confessing moment obviously. She can’t help but feel sympathy for Juhyun. So she squeezes her hand, sending her support.

“Since then, I made her promised not to tell anyone too. And I never talked to her as a friend again. I guess her reaction was also a part of why I said bad things… I was trying to erase that part of myself. Of course I don’t feel anything for her now, It was years ago, but just seeing you with her, it’s hard.”

Seulgi looks at her with wide eyes and doesn’t say anything.

“Seulgi I-“

She cuts her by hugging her really tight. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that Juhyun. I understand why you react that way with her, I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” she kisses her temple. “Please forgive me. And thank you for telling me this.”

This time Juhyun starts to cry for real. Seulgi can’t do anything except keeping her in her arms and rocking her back and forth.

She’s still shocked, because Juhyun had to go through that. And because the Bae Juhyun is not completely straight.

“And Juhyun.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s okay if you’re not straight. You have the right to love women too. It’s not a crime.”

“It was only a one time thing, just for her. Now I’m sure on the facts that I am attracted by guys and guys only. But it was nice to finally talk about it. I know that if she would have dated me we would have broken up not long after. It’s not possible to be with a woman for me and I probably would have cheated on her with a man.” She chuckles.

This time Seulgi’s really confused, and a bit mad at the last sentence, but she it up and nods. She could tell her too. That she also likes women. But she’s too scared. Because she doesn’t really like women either, it’s kind of more like she only is attracted to Juhyun, at least right now. So she shut ups until her friend tells her that they should go back to the dance floor. And reminds her once again to keep shut.

“Does Bogum knows?”

“No he doesn’t. Why would he need to? I told you it was just a one time

thing.”

“Okay.”

 

The next morning she comes back home, exhausted but happy and mainly very much alive, not throwing up. After taking a shower she decides that she should not let her guard down with her friend. She almost forgot the situation.

The new problem now, is that her brain can’t stop imagining that she has a chance. A real chance. If she fell for a woman in the past, can she fall for Seulgi too? That’s impossible, she has a boyfriend, Seulgi is only her best friend, and if she trusts her enough to tell her that, there’s no romantic interest. Plus she said that it was only one time and that she’s totally attracted to guys now.

She sighs before closing her eyes. Now she can’t avoid her, because the girl will think that’s it’s because of what she explained yesterday.

She’s stuck, only left to follow Kai’s advice.

 

That’s how she’s back to square one. She’s back to holding arms, hugging, talking to each other everyday. And Seungwan is throwing the biggest looks of confusions. Seulgi can only shrug. Of course her feelings are stronger than ever too. Obviously.

But one day, she notices something has changed. She learns later that day that Juhyun broke up with Bogum, the reason is that she lost feelings. Typical Juhyun. So here they are, on Juhyun’s sofa, comforting her, well not really because she doesn’t seem to need it.

“Did you even have feelings for him at the beginning?”

“I’m not sure, maybe I just though he was handsome and went for it.”

“You know Juhyun you’re supposed to have feelings for someone to date them.” she giggles.

“Shut up! Feelings are complicated.”

Seulgi hums. She’s playing with the girl hair.

“How about you? Do you have a crush?”

“I don’t.”

“Really, still no one?”

“No one.” she looks at her. “I’m too pretty for them anyway.”

Juhyun laughs. “I like your mindset.”

“It’s just the truth.”

“Maybe.”

“Are you sure you really needed me to cheer you up? You don’t seem that sad to me!”

“I am! I just broke up with my boyfriend.”

“You weren’t in love with him! I think he’s the one who will need comfort. Poor guy.”

“So I’m the bad one now?”

“Nop. Never said that!”

Juhyun tries to hit her one again but Seulgi blocks her arm and chuckles.

“You really need to get stronger Juhyun.”

“Let me go!”

“Never!”

They start to fight like children. Until they’re exhausted.

“Hey Juhyun, do you remember that place we swore we will go to each week?”

“Oh yes! We never went there though.”

“How about now?”

“I’m in!” she stands up, grabs a coat and throws one at Seulgi. Ending up on her head, making her giggle.

“Bae Juhyun!”

“You’re so funny Seulgi!”

 

That’s how they find themselves walking, at night, towards that place they found.

“Let’s lie down on the grass?”

“Sure.”

They both look at the stars.

“Seul, do you think that soulmates exist?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Why?”

“Because I think love is too complicated to reunite all the ‘soulmates’ if they exist.”

“I think that at one point they will all meet.”

“You’re optimistic.”

“Always.”

“Liar, you are usually the pessimistic one.”

“Okay, I won’t argue because you’re right this time.”

“I know.”

Seulgi feels the breeze, it’s really enjoyable.

“Seulgi?”

“Yes?”

“What if you are my soulmate?”

Seulgi looks at her and gets lost in her eyes once again. How can the girl say such things, and keeps a straight face.

“Maybe I am.”

“Yes, maybe. I wouldn’t mind you’re pretty.” she chuckles.

Seulgi giggles. That girl would be the end of her one day.

“I wouldn’t mind either, trust me.” she whispers.

She feels Juhyun grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers. This time Seulgi decides to be bold and she kisses her hand. Juhyun only smiles at the gesture. A genuine one. Maybe the girl is right, what if they are soulmates? She’s already the one in Seulgi’s heart, so what if it’s the same for her. They continue to lay down together, not letting go of the other hand.

 

They slowly go back to Juhyun’s house in a comfortable silence. When they arrive the girl proposes to drink a bit of alcohol.

“Are you sure?” Seulgi asks.

“Yes, let’s drink, but not that much don’t worry.”

“Okay, but drink what.”

“My parents have all kinds of alcohol, which one do you want?”

“They must be alcoholics. Anything is good to me.”

“Follow me then.” she leads her to a cave, where a lot of bottles are stacked.

“Oh yes it confirms what I thought.”

Juhyun giggles. “Come on, choose one.”

Seulgi closes her eyes and spins, choosing the first bottle she touches.

“Weird way to choose but okay I guess.”

 

They go back to Juhyun’s room, not before taking glasses from the kitchen.

“Why do you love alcohol that much?” Seulgi asks.

“I forget the pressure when I drink, just nothing matters and i’m free.”

She hums.

“I’m not an alcoholic don’t worry.” she laughs.

“Not sure about that.” Seulgj teases.

“Whatever.” she pours the drinks. “Let’s drink?”

“Let’s drink.”

 

Of course it was a bad idea. Because now Juhyun is half drunk, laughing at everything that Seulgi says, and the latter is even drunker just smiling and hugging her favorite person.

They get dangerously close, making Seulgi blush at the beginning, but then it’s like her body gets used to it. She’s now lying down, her head on Juhyun’s thighs, and the latter playing with her hair. She closes her eyes and notices that the spinning is worst if she does that. She opens them again only to see her friend’s beautiful face, really close to hers. She sighs and smiles, when they’re drunk, it makes her feel like they are together and like they have a real chance.

Juhyun laughs and puts her forehead on Seulgi’s, she’s basically bending as hard as she can to do that.

“Why are you like that when you’re drunk?” Seulgi finds the boldness to ask.

“Like what?” she seeems confused.

“Acting like we are together?”

“I have no idea. But I like it. Don’t you?” she giggles.

“Yes.” Seulgi answers.

“Yes you like it?”

“Yes I do.” she smiles. Juhyun does the same right after.

“If I act like we’re together, I might as well kiss you.”

“Just do whatever you want.”

“Can I?”

“Of course.” Even though she knows it’s going to hurt, she can’t say no, she wants to know what it feels like. She sees her leaning even more, if that’s possible, and Juhyun pauses right in front of her face, looking at all her features. It makes Seulgi’s heart race.

She smiles before closing the gap between their lips, and it feels like heaven. Seulgi stands up, not letting go of the girl’s lips, while Juhyun circles her neck with her arms. She reciprocates and puts her hands on the girl’s waist, deepening the kiss. She feels like she’s flying, she never knew it would be that heavenly. Neither of them seems to be wanting to stop, so they continue, now in each other’s mouth. They explore their bodies with their hands, not noticing that they may have gone too far, or at least not caring. They get lost in each other. Until they get startled and separates because of someone ringing the doorbell.

They avoid each other eyes. “Who’s that?” Seulgi still asks.

“No idea, I should go and see.”

Seulgi smacks her head as the girl goes downstairs. What the hell was that. She has to admit that if felt so good, even though it’s not normal.

“I TOLD YOU WE’RE DONE!”

She guess that it must be Bogum, and rushes downstairs to help Juhyun, who knows what he could do. She sees him trying to enter the house using force and her friend trying to push him out.

“Bogum, leave.” she interferes.

“Seulgi, you know I really love her, help me convince her to give me another chance please!” he sounds desperate.

“Bogum, you heard her, leave right now.” she uses herself as a barrier between both of them. Having more strength than the girl, she pushes him outside and immediately closes the door. “Juhyun, please, just one more chance! I’ll be a better boyfriend!”

“If you don’t stop that circus right now, I’m calling the police and your parents!” she threatens.

It worked because they wait for a few seconds before checking and seeing that he left already.

“He really doesn’t understand anything.” she grumbled as she grabs Seulgi and starts dragging her back to her bedroom. She pushes her on top of her bed before she can even say anything and starts to lean over her once again.

“I’m sorry he interrupted us.” she smirks and says before closing the gap once again.

Seulgi is confused, she didn’t expect the girl to do that, especially right after her boyfriend came. She finds herself pulling back surprisingly.

“Juhyun, is that a way for you to get over him? I mean, what we’re doing right now…”

“Oh, my Seulgi, no no, I’m already over him don’t worry.”

She nods.

“Now I want you to put your lips back on mine.”

Seulgi smiles and follows what the girl said, drunk in love.

They continue to make out for one more hour before they pull out for good and look at each other, smiling. Juhyun giggles a bit, and kisses Seulgi’s cheek. Making the latter chuckle. They lie down, hugging.

“Juhyun, what does this mean?”

“I don’t really know.”

“At least you know that this is not normal right?”

Juhyun completely freezes after that sentence. “Yes I’m aware.” she says rather coldly. Seulgi’s heart starts to race once again tonight. She knows that it’s not normal, she knows that friends don’t do that. Maybe she has a chance in the end?

“I-”

“Let’s just go to sleep Seulgi, I’m tired.”

She nods and refrains herself from saying anything, after all the girl experienced a break up today, it must be hard and tiring. She closes her eyes and falls asleep, she will not say what she wants to today.

 

The next morning she wakes up, this time not dying because of the alcohol, which is already a good upgrade. She turns her head, still remembering everything that happened and sees the other side of the bed empty. Juhyun must have gone downstairs. She doesn’t know if she should try to escape discreetly or pretend to be asleep until the girl comes back. She feels really awkward right now, she made out with her best friend last night, which is not really normal. She’s dying of shame, she doesn’t know if she’ll even be able to look at her. The biggest probability is that she won’t.

“You’re awake.”

She doesn’t even have time to decide because Juhyun enters the room, holding some plates in which there are toasts. Seulgi simply nods.

“Here, eat.”

“Thank you.”

She silently eats, not looking up once.

“I’ve been thinking Seulgi.”

“What?” she looks up with impatience in her eyes.

“What we did, I’m sorry but I shouldn’t have done that. It will not lead us to anything.” she says very calmly.

“But-”

“No Seulgi, I’m sorry, whatever you might feel for me, it’s not right and you should try to erase it.”

Seulgi nods, trying to hold her tears. Not even caring if the girl discovered her feelings. She knows she can’t even try to convince her to give her a chance. The girl just broke her once again. She can’t believe she was this dumb to believe that there was something between them.

“I should go.” she says that with a trembling voice.

“I’m sorry Seulgi.”

“You’re sorry, yes of course.” the girl mocks her.

“Pardon?”

“You knew I have feelings for you, right? You just said it.”

“Yes.”

“And yet you decided to play with me.” She scoffs. This time she’s too hurt to stop herself from saying it.

“It’s not that Seulgi, I-“

She doesn’t let her finish as she grabs her bag and starts to go upstairs to pack her stuff left in the bedroom. At this point she barely sees anything because of the tears.

“Seulgi listen to me!”

“Listen? And listen to what Juhyun? Your apologies? I don’t ing care about them.”

The girl tries to stop her by grabbing her wrist but she frees herself and starts moving towards the main door.

“If at least you considered me as a friend, please never talk to me ever again.” she manages to say as she leaves.

 

Juhyun doesn’t try to run after her, of course she wouldn’t, she doesn’t love her. On her way back home, Seulgi is lost in thoughts. She’s hurt and she really tries to put all the blame on her own person but there are just some actions that lead her to thinking that she’s been manipulated. The big problem here is that she said it herself and she confirmed it, she knew about Seulgi’s feelings for her. So she has no excuses. She decides to call Seungwan and tells her to come over.

 

Once she arrives, she decides to explain everything. Seungwan hugs her as she’s crying once again.

“So just to be sure, this is your final decision? You do not want to see her ever again?”

“I’m sure Seungwan.”

“You took the right decision, that’s why I’m going to propose you a deal. And please be selfish for once Seulgi.”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to Canada in 3 weeks, and I want you to come with me.”

“What?”

“Scholarship, entry to a good high school, everything is covered by my father’s company. And you’ll have a room in my house if you accept.”

“But-“

“My parents will talk to your mom, and you will block Juhyun on every social media. I’m giving you a real change to forget her Seulgi and good opportunities. So what do you say?”

 

 

 

 

“Mrs Kang, your work is incredible, I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

“Thank you Mister Wilson, it means a lot to me.”

“Oh no dear it’s normal. I heard about you in that magazine and wanted to see your work by myself. It’s such a good exposition. Would it be too much to ask to buy one of them?”

“Depends on which one! I can’t let go of some of them.”

“The one with the pink flower right there, how much would that be?”

“Around 3!”

“300 000 dollars right?”

“Right.”

“Consider it bought.” he smiles as he shakes his hand.

That what’s Seulgi’s life became after she accepted her best friend deal ten years ago. She’s now one of the most popular new artists and is already famous worldwide. After graduating from one of the most famous art schools, she managed to build a name for herself. She’s currently in Toronto for her exposition, even though she moves all around the world. She’s now able to support her family financially which is the best thing that could have happened.

“So another deal for you Seul?”

“Seungwan!” they weren’t supposed to see each other today but she’s happy.

Seungwan became an actress and a successful one. She barely has free time now that she’s booked for a lot of projects.

“How do you know by the way?”

“I spoke to that man on my way in. You should increase your prices! I told you it’s worth more than that.”

“It’s already an enormous sum of money!”

“I know but still.”

“Anyway, any news?”

“Nah, I’m just so tired, my schedule never ends!”

“How come you’re here then?”

“I have a schedule here, when I tell you I’m never free!”

“Okay then I’m happy that you came but you’re probably already late right?”

“You guessed well.”

“Then go! And call me if you have time after, let’s eat together!”

“Okay promise! See you!”

She smiles. Seungwan really stayed by her side, she’s the best friend she’ll forever keep in her life.

 

 

“So how’d you like France?”

“It’s incredible. Beautiful even.”

“Don’t stay here forever please! I need you soon for the exhibit.”

Her manager Rosé is one of a kind.

“I promise I’ll be back soon don’t worry, just let me do my job!”

She was supposed to come with her but family problems for her manager. So she had to stay in Canada.

“Okay please send me pictures.”

“Of course.”

Seulgi got invited to a fashion show for the brand Prada. It’s unreal for her so she’s like a child right now. She almost arrives at the place and cannot stop herself from smiling. Even though Seulgi’s main talent is painting, she is also known for her fashion sense. Which is probably why she got invited.

 

She hears the clicks of the cameras as she walks on the red carpet. She smiles and waves at them, she is pretty sure everyone knows she’s new to this because the others seem to be making good poses unlike her.

She arrives in the main room and finds her seat number. Number 29. She’s happy because she’s on the second row. So she has a clear vision on the way.

She recognizes the person sitting on her right as a famous photographer. She makes a mental note to talk with him later. As soon as the music start she sees someone sitting on her left as she sees that person’s shadow. She turns her head by curiosity and her mind stops.

 

Juhyun, right here, looking at the walking models. Seulgi slowly turns her head, also looking at them.

It took her a while to get over the girl, she’s not falling in that spiral again. She focuses her mind on her breathing. Forcing herself to forget what happened. She doesn’t look at her, not even glance in her direction after that. As soon as the show finishes she takes her bag and stands, ready to leave.

“Seulgi?”

She pretends she doesn’t heard it, until she feels a hand on her wrist.

“Is that you? Are you Kang Seulgi?”

Seulgi hears a click, of course the photographers are still there, so she couldn’t possibly throw her hand away. So she turns finally facing her.

“It’s me.”

“I-“

“I just turned because pictures are being taken. I don’t want to cause a scandal because I ignored someone at a fashion show. Don’t get the wrong idea.”

“Okay, can we talk? No bad intentions I swear. I just want to catch up with you.”

Seulgi squints her eyes, as if she’s trying to find evil in the girl.

“Please?”

“Okay.” she decides to accept. What could happen?

 

Juhyun smiles and leads her to an empty side of the room.

“How have you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Seulgi you know you’re allowed to make full sentences right?”

“Humor is not the best thing to do right now Juhyun.”

“I’m sorry. Actually I know how you are, I’ve been following your work.”

“Why?”

“Because I actually care about you. Your art is incredible by the way.”

Seulgi scoffs. “Yeah. What are you doing here?”

“I’m a big investor in the fashion field. I actually am connected to a few brands, that’s why they invited me.” she answers not mentioning the scoff. “You might not believe me Seulgi, but it’s really nice to see you again.”

“Thank you.” she says as she avoids her eyes, pretending that she’s looking for someone.

“You’re even more beautiful now.”

Seulgi freezes.

“You have no right to do that Juhyun, not again.” Seulgi is now terrified. Because while she froze, she felt the same warmth she had always been feeling because of her.

“Sorry, I was just saying what came to my mind.” she said as she smirks. Oh she’s definitely going to get Seulgi stuck in her cobweb once again. Didn’t she get the message when Seulgi left without even telling her?

They are interrupted by a tall dark haired man before Seulgi can answer anything.

“Where have you been honey, I was looking for you.”

He kisses Juhyun on the mouth and Seulgi feels like she’s back in time. The funniest is that she’s feeling the same pain. How ironic.

“Oh, hello you must be Irene’s friend. I’m James, her husband.”

Irene? She throws a confused look at the girl.

“Oh sorry you probably met her when she was still called Juhyun, she doesn’t let anyone use that name now.”

His wife simply nods.

“We met a few years ago.”

“I see. Do you mind if I steal her away from you?”

“Not at all, she’s all yours.”

When he takes her away, Seulgi stomach starts to ache. She’s married? Why does it had such a big impact on her after all these years? And why is Juhyun also even more beautiful?

Honestly it feels like she’s being manipulated once again, when she got complimented. But she would not let that happen. How about they switch roles this time?

Seulgi knows it’s against herself to think like that. But she’s tired of being the fool. So as soon as she sees Juhyun, or should she say Irene, alone, she practically runs to her and asks her if they can grab a drink after the event, to reminisce the time when they were friends. The girl gives her the famous million dollars worth smile and gives her her new number. Expressing how happy she is that Seulgi understands that she just came with good intentions.

Seulgi then excuses herself saying she has to get back to someone she knows. The thing is that Seulgi might still be that young girl in love with Juhyun in her head but she’s also a grown woman. Being sucessful she has encountered a lot of jealous people, trying to destroy her or her work. Also being smart she always managed to get a way back to them and to win in the end. The main change would be that she’s still nice to everyone, as long as they also are. So now she’s sure that she’d win that battle against the girl. If she thinks that she can manipulate that young girl, she’s wrong. She leaves the room smirking. Be ready Bae Juhyun.

 

 

“Sorry, the traffic was heavy.”

Seulgi looks up from her book as soon as she hears her voice.

“It’s okay.” She left before the girl as she was starting to feel bored not having any close friends at the event.

Juhyun takes the chair and sits on it, across Seulgi’s.

“I’m curious Seulgi, why did you ask me to come here? Don’t get it wrong, I’m really happy but It’s tickling me.”

“Well.” She starts as she takes a sip of her coffee. “I’m over what happened before and I just want to catch up for a bit.”

“I see.” The girls responds while smiling. “If you want to know about me, as I already told you I’m in investor, I started this business after graduating from my university. I then James and got married one year ago.”

“Congrats, you seem successful, and your husband looks in love with you.”

Juhyun sighs. “Thank you, and yes he is.”

“You don’t seem too happy about it.”

“It was kind of an arranged marriage let’s say.”

“Was it? I would have never guessed that you’ll marry a man like that.”

“You’re being sarcastic right ?”

“Bingo.”

Juhyun chuckles lightly. “Anyway, now that you know about me it’s your turn.”

“I thought you already knew about me since you were following my work?”

“I only know what internet or your social medias tell me.”

Seulgi hums and takes another sip.

“Should we order first?”

“I agree, I’m starving.”

Seulgi calls the waiter and orders for the both of them.

“You didn’t forget my favorite meal?” Juhyun sounds surprised.

“I have a good memory.”

“Sure.” Seulgi’s tactic seems to be working as she sees a tint of red on the girl’s cheeks.

“So, about me, I went to Canada.”

“I already know that.”

“You want to know about me or not?”

“Yeah sorry, continue please.”

“So, I went to Canada and studied in a good high school before going to university and graduate with an art diploma. I then started to make my paintings and it never stopped until now. I do make exhibits and now I’m here.”

“I already knew that but congrats.”

“Are you my fan?”

“Is it a problem if I am?”

“Not at all, I like meeting fans.”

“Is that so?” she smirks.

She nods while looking at the other girl.

“Seulgi I also really wanted to apologize. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you in the past. Believe me the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you. I was just confused and I admit that what I did was really wrong. I wanted to know if we could be friends again? You have no idea of much I missed you.”

It is at this moment that Seulgi knew that her plan was stupid, she’ll never have the courage to hurt that girl, especially when she’s there apologizing. Maybe it’s not honest who knows, but she’ll never be brave enough to hurt her consciously. How sad is it that after her long interior monologue on how she changed and she became a real woman not afraid to crush the others, she gives up in two seconds.

“I- You really hurt me in the past Juhyun, I don’t know if I could be friends with you like that… But II appreciate your apologies.”

“Okay, then I’ll win your friendship over, you’ll see.”

“I have one question though.”

“Yes?”

“If you knew about my feelings, what did you do that?”

“I thought you already guessed, it’s because I had feelings for you too Seulgi.”

“What?”

“Wasn’t I obvious?”

Seulgi eyebrows frown. “You made it clear that there was nothing between us.”

“Did you hear me pronounce the words ‘I don’t have feelings for you’?”

Seulgi has to admit that she felt really dumb at this moment.

“So why? Why did you reject me and why did you let me paint you as the villain?”

Juhyun sighs and puts her hand on Seulgi’s. “Because it was easier like that. You know my parents right? Did you really think that it would have been possible with a girl? It would have only hurt both of us more in the end. When I was doing these.. things with you, i-it was because I really wanted to, not because I was trying to manipulate you or anything. When I broke up with Bogum, it’s because my feelings for you were so big, it was basically cheating if what I did with you wasn’t already.”

Seulgi can’t seem to close . She admits that one of her theories was that she actually had feelings but she didn’t think one minute that it was true.

“But it’s all in the past now, it was such a long time ago. I’m happy that you know the truth now.”

“I have to admit that it’s a bit… How to say? Unexpected?”

Juhyun smiles one again.

“I know it is, but that’s the story from my side. You know, after you left I was devastated, but I was forbidding myself from sending you a message because I didn’t want to hurt you more. Do not think that you were the only one in pain Seul.”

“You know that we still could have tried something right?”

“And what, in the end? My parents would have eventually found out and they would have send threats. The pressure would have broken us eventually. It was better this way.”

“You’re probably right. I have to apologize for the number of bad things I said about you when I was angry.”

“It’s okay as long as you didn’t say anything bad about my hair.” she laughs.

“I actually said that your roots were damaged.”

“WHAT?”

“I’m kidding.” she explodes in laughter. “How could I find something bad to say about your hair when you’re crazy about it.”

“You’re right my hair is perfect.” She chuckles.

They both smile at each other.

“By the way Juhyun, does Seungwan knows that you had feelings for me too?”

“No, I never told anyone.”

“Okay, I admit I would’ve feel betrayed if she knew.”

“You’re still friends right?”

“We are. What about you?”

“No she also cut me from her life when she left.” she says as she plays with her fork.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“It’s probably because of me.”

“Don’t say that. I knew what will happen.”

“Still.”

They finish their meals and Seulgi hates how comfortable she feels with the girl. Seungwan is definitely going to kill her. But now that she heard the truth, meaning that she wasn’t manipulating her, it totally changes everything. Obviously it’s already too late but she feels better but bad at the same time. How cruel is that story?

 

“I should probably go, I just got a text saying that my husband is waiting for me outside.”

“Okay, it was actually nice talking to you. How did you like the food?”

Juhyun bops Seulgi’s nose. “It was incredible, thank you for tonight Seulgi.”

The girl goes to the counter to pay but Seulgi tries to stop her.

“It’s the least I can do for you, consider it as my first action to win your friendship back.” she smiles.

“Thank you, but I’m paying next time.”

“Next time huh. I’ll take that. Until when are you staying in Paris?”

“Probably leaving in three days, I need to go back to Canada.”

“Okay I’ll see you in two days if it’s okay for you?”

“I’ll check my schedule but it should be okay.”

“Okay I’ll text you to plan it! See you Seul, and thank you again.”

“See you.” Seulgi watches as she leaves elegantly.

Just how dumb is she.

 

“YOU DID WHAT?”

“Calm down Seungwan, I just lost my hearing because of you!”

“Seulgi I swear I’ll kill you! Wait for me to book my plane ticket!”

“Wait, there are news. She told me that she had feelings for me too.”

“What?”

“Yeah but you know her parents right? It would’nt have worked so she took on her and rejected me so that we won’t suffer even more. And by the way she’s married to some guy now, it’s arranged or course.”

“This is too much information, let me process for two seconds.”

“Okay.”

“SHE HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU TOO? AND SHE’S MARRIED?”

Seulgi sighs. This is going to be a long phone call.

 

“So you’re going to see her again before you leave?”

“Probably.”

“You know it’s dangerous right.”

“I know, but somehow I missed her. And I forgot to ask but I doubt that she’s living in Canada so we won’t be seeing each other much after that.”

“I wouldn’t be doing that if I was you.”

“I know, I know. I just still can’t resist her.”

“You’re really hopeless.”

“I am.”

“If you want my advice, don’t let her get close to you.”

“Don’t worry that will never happen.”

 

“Hmm Seulgi I’ve been wanting to do that for a decade.” Juhyun says as she moans against Seulgi’s lips.

The latter smiles as she grabs the sides of Juhyun’s waist and brings her closer to her body.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Seulgi answers as she pushes her against the bed.

 

You’re probably wondering how did that happen? Well…

“Seulgi! Thank you for making time for me again.”

“It’s normal, I’ll told you I’ll pay the next time right?”

“You did.”

“So I brought some food.” she shows her the picnic basket hidden behind her back.

“If I didn’t know you I’d think it’s a date.”

Seulgi chuckles.

“Follow me, I found a spot.”

They sit on a napkin next to trees a bit isolated from other people.

“How’d you like it?”

“I think it’s perfect.”

“Should we start eating?”

“Yeah my stomach is empty.”

Seulgi laughs as she hears this sentence and hands a sandwich to the girl.

“Here.” Their hands brush.

“Thanks.”

“By the way I forgot to ask, in which country are you living right now?”

“I’m still based in Korea, but I’m always in other countries so you can say that I’m country-less.”

“Even went to Canada?”

“I did once actually. I really liked it. You’re based in Toronto right?”

“I am, well my flat is there.”

“Would you invite me? I mean to visit.”

“If you come to Canada why not. You can even see my exhibit if you come soon enough.”

“I already saw it.”

“What?”

“Yeah I already came incognito.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Seriously?” she laughs.

“Okay you’re right.”

“I even saw you from afar.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t cool not being able to say hi.”

“Well, the next time you come, say hi please.”

“I will.” she smirks.

“What piece did you like the most.”

“Angel of death. No doubts.”

“Good choice.”

“Was the painting about me?”

“Maybe?”

“Then can I buy it?”

“No I want to keep this one!”

“It’s not fair! If I’m the muse I deserve to buy it right?”

“Nah! It’s mine!”

“Not nice.” she pouts. Juhyun leans forwards and tickles Seulgi. The poor girl is fighting for her life and can’t stop laughing. She finally manages to flip Juhyun’s over, putting an end to her torture.

When she looks down she sees the other girl staring at her fondly, and it took a few seconds for the girl’s lips to be on hers. It was still as soft as in her memories. The girl grabbed her neck as Seulgi supported herself with her elbows still hovering above her. In one instant she was struck again. She was here kissing the girl that broke her heart so many years ago. But she couldn’t get off her. It was only when Juhyun whispered “Hotel?” that she separated from her. Only to find a taxi.

 

This is how they got here, undressing each other while Juhyun is cheating on her husband and Seulgi on her beliefs. But damn, it feels so good none of them can stop.

 

“You’re beautiful.” The investor starts as she’s caressing Seulgi’s hair.

They’re laying, facing each other.

“You’re more beautiful.”

Juhyun chuckles. “Please let me compliment you.”

“I’m just telling the truth.” she takes her hand and kisses it.

“Sure.” The latter get close to her and starts kissing her face all over.

Seulgi circles her with her arms and presses their bodies together as well as their foreheads.

“So now what happens Juhyun? You’re married.”

“I know.” She sighs. “Please let’s forget that for one moment.”

“Okay.”

They stay in the warmth of the other for a few more minutes before deciding that they need to leave.

“I can’t believe it’s already 6 am.”

“Me neither, I’m so tired.”

“Well we didn’t sleep a lot actually.”

They both chuckle.

“Will I see you again Juhyun?”

“Of course. I’ll even come to Canada to see you.”

Once again she’s left with a question that she won’t dare to ask.

“Okay, text me when you arrived and you’re safe okay?”

“Okay Seul, please do the same.” she answers as she kisses her hard.

“See you.”

“See you.” She leaves after pecking her.

 

Now Seulgi’s left in that random hotel room, wondering how the heck that happened and what are they going to do now. She didn’t need another problem, but it’s too late.

 

She’s addicted once again. It’s been two week since it happened and they keep texting each other, as if nothing was wrong. Seulgi cannot stop herself from answering all of her texts.

“Why are you so happy? Who are you texting?” Rosé interrupts her.

“Me? No one.”

“Right of course, but please take a break you have to be ready for your conference, it’ll start in a few minutes.”

“Sorry, I’ll be ready on time I promise.”

“Of course.” Rosé smirks. “If you finally found someone I’m really happy for you Seulgi.”

She doesn’t answer and just smiles softly at the remark. If only she knew.

“Seungwan is coming with Sooyoung in twenty minutes.”

“What?”

“Oh she just texted me saying that Sunmi is coming too.”

“Oh no it’s just going to make me more anxious!”

“Why?”

“Because they will judge everything and if I dare mispronouncing a word they will make fun of me until the end of times. You don’t remember what happened last time?”

“When you almost slipped on stage?”

“Yes?”

“But that was hilarious!”

“More like ridiculous”

“Come on Seulgi, you just have to talk for twenty minutes it’s not a big deal. Even my high school presentations were longer than that.”

“What high school did you go to? It’s not normal you know?”

“Stop talking! Prepare yourself!”

“Yeah sorry.”

She has to participate in a conference about the young and new artists in vogue. Obviously it’s important it could give her even more visibility and maybe new clients who knows. So she better not mess up.

 

“The celebrities are here!” Seulgi sighs as soon as she hears Sooyoung’s voice. Of course.

“Are you anxious Seulgi? You look like you’re going to throw up at any minute.” Sunmi adds.

“You don’t hug your best friend?” Seungwan doesn’t let her respond to the previous question and compresses her.

“Hello to you guys and yes I’m anxious, it’s kind of a big deal.”

“Why? You went to bigger conferences before?”

“I’m always like that! Are you sure that you’re my friends?”

“We are!” says Sooyoung.

Actually the girl kept contact with Seulgi after she left and also became someone important in the Hollywood industry. She’s a professional actress and always takes time to come and see her. She was a pillar for her when she wasn’t feeling good.

“Guys let me prepare myself! I’m not ready yet!”

“You better be soon because it starts in ten minutes!” Rosé reminds her.

After trying to ignore the other girls she finishes her makeup and goes backstages indicating that she’s ready. The conference mainly goes well except for the part where she waved back at someone on stage who wasn’t waving at her. She wanted to die of shame and she somehow knows that when it’s over the girls are going to laugh at her face. Now she’s waiting for the interview part.

When it’s finally starting she answers to multiple questions trying not to roll her eyes at some who are very precise and unprofessional. Are you dating someone? Rumors are saying that you and your assistant Rosé are together? So annoying. When it’s finally over she goes back to the main room.

“So Miss Kang, do you perhaps miss someone who’s name is Yerim?”

She turns at the voice.

“Yerim?!”

“It’s me!”

She goes and hugs her.

“Oh my god you’ve grown so much! I wouldn’t have recognized you! You’re such a pretty woman!”

“Not you, you became uglier!”

She smacks the youngest on her head.

“Why are you here?”

“I’m a journalist and I saw that you were attending this event so here am I! I wanted to say hi after all these years.”

“Woaw I’m honored. Sooyoung and Seungwan are backstage if you want to see them.”

“Okay let’s go! I missed them more than you anyway!”

“Hey!”

“By the way Seulgi, did you talk to my sister? Because it’s been a decade already I swear she’s still annoying but a bit less.”

She chuckles at that. “We talked, we actually saw each other a few days ago.” She blushes a bit thinking about how they met.

“Okay it’s good, by the way she annoyed me this morning too so it was supposed to be a surprise but she’s here.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, she told me to keep it a secret but she stole my hot chocolate! So I’m getting revenge.”

“You will always amaze me. Where is she right now?”

“Waiting room number 3 I think.”

“Okay I’ll lead you to the girls and I’ll go say hi to her.”

“Sure, but can you buy me a chocolate when you come back?”

“I will promise.”

As soon as she opens the door Sooyoung makes a strident sound.

“YERIM!”

“Okay guys I’ll leave you the demon.” She says and closes the door behind making her way to the room.

In the meanwhile Yerim is being crushed by Seungwan and Sooyoung. They won’t let us breathe and keep asking questions about her life.

“Calm down guys! I can’t breathe!”

“Oh by the way Yerim, where is Seulgi?” asks Sunmi.

“She went to see Juhyun.”

“What? Juhyun is here?” They all throw confuses looks.

“Sorry guys, but who’s Juhyun?” Sunmi asks.

“We’ll explain later don’t worry.”

“Sure.”

“Why is Juhyun here?”

“She actually wanted to surprise Seulgi.”

“Did she?” Seungwan asks suspiciously.

“Yes she literally told me.”

 

As Seulgi opens the door she sees a confused Juhyun sitting on the couch.

“Don’t tell me that snitched!” she says as she stands up.

“Come on, don’t talk like that about your sister.”

“I’ll swear I’ll kill her! She ruined my surprise!”

“She didn’t, I had no idea you were coming today.” Seulgi says as she circles the girl’s neck.

“I know but I’m still sad.” She pouts.

“Don’t pout like that.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes me want to kiss you.”

“Then do it.”

She doesn’t waste a second and immediately captures the older’s lips. She immediately responds to the kiss. Seulgi feels like she’s in heaven again. Juhyun grabs her hair and pushes her even closer if it’s possible. They end up on the couch, the girl on top of Seulgi. They continue to make out for a few minutes. Until she hears the door being slammed opened.

“What the hell is happening.”

Here comes Seungwan, and troubles.

 

“So to recapitulate, your explanation for the fact that I walked on you two eating each other’s faces is that it was an accident?”

“Yes” they both nod.

“Come on, do you think I’m ing five years old or something like that? Who are you trying to fool? Juhyun you’re ing married! And Seulgi I honestly thought that you were smarter than that!”

“Don’t talk about her like that.” Juhyun tries to defend the girl.

“Don’t even try to do that Juhyun! You have the audacity to kiss her when you’re ing married and when you know that it won’t lead to anything! You already hurt her enough in the past. Why are you so ing selfish?”

Seulgi stands up and goes between the two of them.

“Okay this is going too far. Seungwan, Juhyun isn’t manipulating me or anything, in fact I’m even the one that initiated things today. We’re both adults and I know very well that she’s married and that we’ll never start anything real. And Juhyun, Seungwan is only worried about me.”

Juhyun slowly nods. While Seungwan doesn’t calm down.

“I can’t believe you’re back here Seulgi! Don’t you remember how destroyed you were? The only way to help you was to change countries! Without forgetting that you had to wait for several years to finally get better! What kind of joke is that? You’re destroying all of that just to be a mistress?”

“I’m not a mist-“

“Open your eyes Seulgi, what is it if it’s not her cheating on her husband? You’re really ready to put everything at risk while knowing that she’ll never give up anything for you and that the mistress position is the best one you’ll get?”

At this point Seulgi’s stomach really starts to ache. Because her friend is right. She’ll never be anything more to Juhyun, but she already knew it, she just didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Seungwan this is too much! You don’t get to tell Seulgi how I plan to treat her because you’re not in my ing head!”

“We both know you’ll never have the courage to divorce him!”

“Who the are you to say things like that about me!”

“Someone who used to be your friend! So I know exactly how you work!”

“STOP!”

Both of them turn to see a crying Seulgi.

“If you could just stop yelling at each other I would appreciate it thank you. Now Seungwan go back to the girls please and tell Yerim to come here. I need some fresh air please don’t follow me.”

She leaves and shuts the door behind her. She makes sure no one notices that she’s crying and goes to the roof. She sits there and let it all go. She’s lost right now. It’s true that she already fell back into Juhyun’s spiral, but with Seungwan’s words she just realized that she’ll get hurt again and again. She knows that she looks pathetic right now but she couldn’t hold it. Her tears are flowing and she really wants to laugh because of the situation. Her friend is right, she’s kind of dumb.

 

Her moment was interrupted a few minutes later by the woman causing her this headache.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Yerim?” she asks.

“Oh, I do. I told her I needed to go to the toilets in order to escape. That’s why I’m here.”

“Okay.”

Juhyun steps forward and sits next to her.

“Listen Seulgi, just know that what Seungwan said, it’s not what I think okay? She doesn’t know me anymore.”

“That’s the problem, she doesn’t know you and I don’t either. You could be lying right now.”

The girl grabs her hand.

“Listen Seul, I had and still have feelings for you. I don’t know how it’s going to go for us, but I can tell you that I won’t let you leave twice.”

“Come on Juhyun, look at you saying things like that when we meet again after ten years. Who says you’ll still feel the same things in two weeks? When you said you change I believe you, because I did too. I’m not the same person as before. So you can’t say things like that and romanticize it because the fact is that you’re married and screwing with a woman you don’t know anymore.”

“Then let me get to know you again.”

“Why would I? If we get hurt in the end?”

“Seulgi, if you’re still at least one percent of the Seulgi I knew, I will fight for you this time. I’ll fill a divorce.” She caresses the girl’s hair.

“Would you really be ready to do that?”

“Honestly, I would. I’m making my own money, I’m independent and I don’t give a about my husband.”

“Your parents?”

“I’m old enough to confront them now. And you know what, screw them I don’t care anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yes Seul really.” She kisses the crown of her head.

“I-”

“No you don’t have to say anything, I just wanted to tell you my point. Now please I want you to think about it and decide. The ball is on your camp.”

“Okay I will.”

“Do you want to go back inside or stay here a bit more?”

“I’ll stay here.” She smiles softly.

“Okay I’ll go back to Yerim before she kills me. I’ll see ton later.”

“See you later. ”

 

Honestly she’s even more confused now. And to be honest even if she’s happy with the woman words, she now has a big decision to make. According to her she has the power to break her marriage. Which is not something she can take lightly honestly. God she really needs to get drunk.

 

That’s why she finds herself in a bar, totally drunk, talking to a stranger at almost two in the morning.

“So that woman is telling you that you have the power to break her marriage?”

“Yes basically isn’t it c-crazy?” she hiccups.

“It is! She must really love you.”

“Maybe?”

“Seulgi get you back here!” Seungwan appears.

“But I’m to my new friend!“ she exclaims. “What’s your name again?” she whispers.

“I’m Jennie.”

“My friend Jennie!”

“You don’t have to tell everyone about you and Juhyun!”

“I want to! So as I was telling you Jennie, she is driving me crazy! I don’t want her to break my heart again!”

“I’m sorry for her behavior Jennie, I’ll get her back to our table.”

“Now it’s okay don’t worry, her story is really complicated I understand why she drinks that much.” she chuckles.

“Yeah well she didn’t go easy on alcohol today.”

“Seungwan! Can I get another shot?”

“No! You can’t even stand by yourself!”

“I can look!” She suddenly stands up and falls down on the floor.

“I will kill you Seulgi!”

The women both help her to get back on her feet.

“What’s happening here?” Sooyoung arrives followed by Sunmi.

“She’s totally drunk!”

“False!” Seulgi protests earning a glare from her friend.

The women chuckle. “Let’s get her back to her apartment when she gets better.”

“Is she even going to? At this rate she’ll still be drunk in three days.”

“I’ll take care of her.” Juhyun appears in the bar.

“The hell are you doing here?” Seungwan asks.

“Juhyun?” Seulgi asks trying to open her eyes.

“How did you know we were here?”

“Well, Jennie’s my assistant so here I am.”

“Yeah sorry guys, when I heard the story I thought I was recognizing my boss because of some similarities so I texted her saying how funny the situation is but turns out it was really about her.”

“Why did you give her the address?” Seungwan says angrily.

“She can be scary.” The girl whispers.

“Exactly. Jennie I will explain the situation to you later, I’m sorry you had to find out like this, please don’t talk about it to anyone.”

Jennie nods, still shook by the fact that her boss is cheating on her husband.

“Girls I’m sorry, if Seulgi is in this state it’s because of me. So let me take care of her please.”

“And why would we? We can totally take care of her.”

“Look at me in the eyes and tell me that you’re totally sober too? I knew you Seungwan, and I know that you’re already really tipsy. It seems that I’m the only one that hasn’t been drinking. That’s why I am asking you, let me take care of her.”

At this point Seulgi is too drunk to understand the situation and only makes weird noises when she tries to speak.

Seungwan look at Juhyun as if she’s hesitating.

“Listen Seungwan, you might not believe me if I say that I love Seulgi, but please you know how close we were in the past, so you should know I will really take care of her.”

“You love her?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Why would I tell her that I’ll get a divorce for her if I didn’t?”

“You did what?”

“She didn’t tell you?”

“No? You told her you would get divorced?”

“If she chooses me yes, I will get a divorce.”

“But you met again like what not even one month ago?”

“Yes, but as I told her, I want to get to know her again. I’m done pushing her. I don’t want to make the same mistake again.”

“This is a lot of information.” says Sooyoung. “But Seungwan, we should trust Juhyun and give her Seulgi. Look at her state.”

The girl is hugging Juhyun’s leg right now.

“Okay Juhyun, take care of her, but it’s only because none of us are sober right now.”

“Sure, thank you Seungwan. Jennie don’t worry I’ll explain everything.”

“Thank you boss.” The girl looks really confused right now.

“I’ll need some explanation too?” interrupts Sunmi.

Juhyun lifts Seulgi and drags her out of the bar.

Behind them all of the girls sigh.

 

When Juhyun tries to help Seulgi seat in the car, the girls suddenly grabs her and doesn’t let her go.

“Seul please I need you to let go of me, I need to drive.”

“Hug.”

“Okay.” She sighs and obeys. “Why did you drink that much?”

“humffsszzz.”

“Seul I don’t speak alien.”

The girl hums.

“Give me your address so I can drive you back to your apartment.” No response. “Seul?”

When she detaches herself form the girl, she notices that she already fell asleep. She decides to drive her to her own hotel. On the way she receives a call from her husband, and ignores it, she has priorities right now.

It was sure a hard work to get Seulgi safe on the bed but she didn’t gave up. She prepares some meds, a glass of water and puts them on the table in her bedroom. She fills a glass of water for herself and allows to take a break for a minute. It kills her to see the girl in this state, especially when it’s her fault. As soon as she finishes her glass she installs herself on the sofa next to the bed, letting the girl rest fully. She falls asleep soon after.

 

Seulgi wakes up and grunts. Her head hurts like . She stands up and opens her eyes. Not recognizing the place, she panics at first, until she notices Juhyun sleeping on a sofa. Oh no, she must have gotten too drunk last night. She vaguely remembers drinking a lot and being in a bar. But how did she end up with Juhyun? Weren’t her friends with her? She checks the hour on her phone and notices that it’s still really early, only five in the morning. She decides to get up and carry the other girl back in the bed, the sofa must be so uncomfortable. She admires her features before going back to the bed herself and closing her eyes her headache already forgotten. She will ask her what happened later, it can wait.

 

Juhyun wakes up, somewhere way more comfortable than the sofa she was originally sleeping on.

She opens her eyes and notices that she’s in the bed next to Seulgi. Oh no, did I come here by myself? I don’t want her to think about weird things when she wakes up.

“Juhyun stop moving, and don’t worry I’m the one that brought you here.”

“Are you reading my thoughts? And how are you feeling?”

“Bad now that you woke me up.”

“Tsss, you’re not grateful.”

“I am not.”

Juhyun chuckles at that.

“I’m happy that you’re okay, you were pretty drunk last night.”

Seulgi finally faces her.

“I know, and by the way how did I end up here? Not with the girls?”

“Well your friends weren’t that sober either so when I arrived at the bar I convinced them that I should take care of you.”

“They said yes?”

“No I kidnapped you. Of course they said yes.”

“Did I call you yesterday?”

“No my assistant did.”

“Your assistant?” Seulgi eyebrows frown.

“Yes Jennie, you were telling her about me when you were drunk and odds are that she’s my assistant. She thought it was funny because I had a lot of similarities with the girl you were talking about but turns out it was really me.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry. I must have said a lot about your private life.”

“Let’s say I owe her some explanations now. But it’s okay don’t worry, she was going to find out eventually.”

“Still I’m sorry.”

Juhyun puts her hand on the girl’s face. “I told you it’s okay, don’t stress about it.”

“Hmm okay. By the way on a scale from zero to ten how drunk was I?”

“At least eleven.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be that drunk.”

“It’s okay it happens to everyone. It was funny though, sometimes when I asked you questions you answered with noises.”

“Oh my god.” She hides her face with her hands. “I’m never drinking again.”

“Everyone says that, and they start drinking again the next week.”

“Well I really mean it!”

“Sure.” She giggles.

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I should go but I’ll see you later?”

“Of course, please text me whenever you’re free!”

“Okay, when are you living Canada?”

“I didn’t buy a return ticket yet.”

“Okay.” Seulgi smiles. She takes her stuff and before leaving she pecks the girl’s forehead. “See you Juhyun.”

“See you Seulgi.” The latter responds trying to hide her red cheeks.

 

In two weeks she saw Seulgi at least ten times, and it makes her happy, because she sees that the younger is trying to get to know her again, and it seems that she understood that she was not joking about her proposition. Today they are trying ice skating, which Seulgi teaching her of course. After the drunk incident, Juhyun had to explain to her assistant the whole story, it’s an understatement to say that she was shocked, but at least she promised that she will keep her secret and that if it makes her boss happy, who is she to judge? That’s how Jennie finds herself covering for her every time her husband calls her and she cannot answer, every time she’s with Seulgi. She has been away from him for two weeks now, and let’s say that she hasn’t been this happy in a while. So when he asks when she’ll come back, she just says that she has work to do and that she doesn’t know.

But the problem today is that, as she’s enjoying her time with Seulgi, giggling at each other, she hears someone calling her. She recognizes the voice as her smile fades, it’s him. She looks at Seulgi and reassures her before her comes closer. She can see the panic in her eyes.

“So Juhyun, this is your idea of working? I thought you were so busy you couldn’t even respond to my texts?”

“I am, I just got a bit of free time so that’s why I’m here.”

“Maybe let’s say hello first no?”

“Yeah, hi.”

When he tries to kiss her hello she deviates her head and he ends up kissing her cheek. Seulgi is secretly smiling behind them, acknowledging that Juhyun is making efforts. Her husband on the other hand, doesn’t seem too happy about it.

“I’ve came here to see you and that’s how you treat me?”

“Not now please, I’ll see you later wherever you want but in case you didn’t see I’m with someone right now.”

“Hello Seulgi, I’m sorry I didn’t say hi earlier.”

“Hello. It’s okay.”

“So I’ll see you after James.”

“Okay.” He seems so disappointed Seulgi is almost sad for him.

They follow him as he leaves the ice rink.

“He’s gone just like that? He didn’t protest.”

“He knows me, and if he stayed I wouldn’t have made him understand that he was not welcome, so he knows when to leave.”

“Okay.”

Juhyun puts her hand on Seulgi’s cheek.

“Just making sure you didn’t forget you’re the one I have feelings for.” As soon as she ends her sentence she pecks her.

Seulgi becomes red and Juhyun laughs.

“You’re crazy, what if he saw us?”

“So what? I told you I don’t care about him.”

How can Seulgi not fall for this woman once again?

 

The rest of the day went smoothly, Juhyun made her husband wait until the end of the evening as she took Seulgi to a famous restaurant. She didn’t mind, as soon as she’s with the girl, it’s okay.

When she came back to him, of course she got yelled at. This is the first time he got this angry, and she was starting to get scared.

“You not even acting like my damn wife anymore!”

“Should I remind you that this is an arranged marriage?”

“So what? You told me you loved me! You don’t even respond to my texts and you ignore me! I talked more to Jennie than you!”

“THIS IS AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE NOT A LOVE ONE! GET YOURSELF TOGETHER AND THINK A BIT JAMES! I ONLY SAID I LOVE YOU BACK BECAUSE I HAD PITY FOR YOU!”

This is the moment he exploded, he strangled her. He pushed her against the wall and wouldn’t stop. She tried to hit him, in vain. He’s taller and stronger than she is. At this moment the thought that came to her mind is that she really had a sad life, but she won’t allow it to end like that. But well it’s not really for her to decide right now. It’s only when he noticed that she was starting to lose consciousness that he stopped. Dropping her on the floor.

“Next time I won’t let go.” He threatens as he leaves the room leaving a crying Juhyun behind.

This new side of him is scarring her, just how is she going to get out alive of this marriage?

 

As soon as she checks that he is indeed gone, she rushes to her hotel and finds Jennie waiting for her inside.

“Boss I wan- Oh my god what happened?” seeing the crying Juhyun she immediately goes and hugs her. She sits both of them on the bed and notices the red marks on her neck.

“Who did that?” she said scared.

“H-him.”

“James?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god, what are you going to do?”

“I told you. I-I need to divorce. I wanted to wait for Seulgi’s decision but I cannot right now.”

“You have to be careful, he might hurt you if you tell him about it.”

“I know, I was thinking about it earlier. I need to be discreet.” she continues to cry.

“Let me take pictures of your neck okay? It’s better to have proof.”

Her heart breaks as she takes them. Seeing her boss like that is really new to her. She almost never shows emotions, but this time she’s breaking.

“Let’s start the procedure and call the police.”

Juhyun nods, it’s time.

 

The next day when she meets Seulgi in the evening, she makes sure to put a scarf, she just had a lot of virtual meetings with her lawyer. Of course the girl is not dumb and feels Juhyun’s state. Something is wrong.

“Juhyun are you okay?”

“Yeah just tired.”

After hearing these words Seulgi asks if she wants to go back to her hotel. Juhyun saying no, Seulgi brings her to her apartment, insisting on the fact that she has to rest. Today Juhyun is pretty silent, even really silent, until Seulgi naturally goes to take off her scarf for her and sees the marks. That’s when Juhyun crumbles and explain everything after Seulgi asked her to.

“I swear Juhyun, I’ll kill him.” She says angrily. She cannot believe he did that.

“I don’t either. But at least I will have a good reason to leave him for the court.”

“I’m scared, he might come for you after that.”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and not if I put him to jail before. He has done some illegal activities and I always kept some proof in case. I also have this now.”

“You’re so smart.”

“I know.” She finally smiles.

Seulgi kisses her cheeks repeatedly.

“I’ll protect you Juhyun, always.”

“Always?”

“Always.” She answers as she kisses her with passion.

 

“You can do it Juhyun.”

“I don’t know...” she answers anxiously. She looks at the gate once again, not knowing what to do.

“You have to tell them Juhyun, he is dangerous.”

“You’re right, but it’s just that my parents are… well you know them.”

“You were so sassy with them when you were young, you did change.” Seulgi chuckles.

Juhyun pouts. “Can’t you come with me?”

“I’m not sure that it’s a good idea. But I’ll stay here and if there’s any problem call me okay?”

“Okay, it’s time to go then.”

Seulgi kisses her one more time before she watches her enter the house. She followed Juhyun back to Korea for that. She has to admit that she feels weird, being in front of this house ten years later. But she had to support the girl.

 

Juhyun takes a deep breath before knocking at the door. She would have never imagine herself doing that. But this is the moment, she can do it. She sees a silhouette behind the door and she straightens herself. When the persons opens the door, she recognizes her husband. Followed by her father.

“You’re finally here Juhyun.”

He drags her inside before she can realize the situation.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“Just saying hello to your parents.” He says putting his hand on her shoulder. If he thinks that it’s going to stop her from talking with them, he’s wrong.

“Don’t touch me.” She hisses. “Father, Hello. I would like to talk to you and mother please. Privately.” She adds as she looks at James.

He leads her to the living room as he answers. “Hello Juhyun. I bet whatever you want to tell us you can say it in front of him no?”

“Not what I have to say. Hello mother.”

“Hi Juhyun. What is it that you wanted to say?”

“I would like some privacy, I’ll tell you when it’ll just be me dad and you.”

Her mother watches her confused. On the other side her husband is sending threatening looks. But she’s not going to back off, he should know.

“Come on Juhyun, let’s not do that he adds.”

“Okay you don’t want to go? Perfect let me tell you guys what I came for.” She gets angrier and takes off pictures of her folder. “You see that?” she asks showing her picture to them. “It was the state of my neck after he tried to strangle me to death.” She drops.

James has wide eyes, not expecting her to have the courage to say it and her parents look horrified.

“What happened? Is that true?”

“I didn’t strangle her to death. I punished her. Don’t you know that your daughter has been sleeping with a woman?”

Honestly Juhyun was prepared to this argument, she wasn’t sure that he knows, but now she has confirmation.

“Juhyun?”

“Yes it’s true, it has always been her.” They know very well about who she’s talking right now. “I can’t say sorry for that. On the other hand I want to announce that I will divorce.”

“For her?” her father asks.

“Father, I’m sorry but didn’t you see the pictures? If I go with her after I divorce shouldn’t be the main question in this situation!”

“We’re not going to divorce. I will not let that happen.”

“And how are you going to stop that? When I have proofs?” she decides to keep her bad business card to herself for the moment.

“You cannot choose for me, when we married we did say the best and the worst. I’m ready to forgive for sinning with that woman, so you have to forgive me too.”

“Parents, are you really believing this bull?”

“It seems like a fair proposition Juhyun.”

She feels the tears coming as soon as she hears that.

“Mother?”

“Listen to your father.”

This time it’s too much. She starts to laugh. “You know what? Go yourselves. All of you. Father, mother, just know that you are the worst parents in this world, letting your daughter getting beat up? And you? Don’t worry, I can assure you that the divorce is coming.”

She throws her folder on the floor before leaving. She hears them calling for her but she doesn’t give a . She runs to the car as fast as she can and tells Seulgi to drive. The girls obeys and caresses Juhyun’s face with her free hand.

“I assume it went bad?” she asks when Juhyun starts to feel better a few minutes later.

“Really bad. He was here.”

“James?”

“Yeah.”

“That son of a .”

“He is. I guess he knew I was coming. He thought I wouldn’t tell them if he was here.”

“You still did?”

“Yes, but in conclusion, they prefer me to be abused more than being with a woman.”

“What?” she said horrified.

“You heard it well.”

“Oh my god Juhyun.” She says as she pulls up to the side of the road.

“Why’d you stop?”

Seulgi doesn’t answer and just hugs her, really tight. “I’m sorry.”

“For what are you sorry Seul?”

“For all of that.”

“Don’t say sorry please, my parents are useless and they’ve always been like that. I will cut them from my life.”

“But they are your parents.”

“The second they made me understand that, they lost the parents title. Plus I don’t care now. I have you.”

“Yeah you have me. And you’re stuck with me.”

They both chuckle.

“Let’s go back to the airport and let’s meet with my lawyer. Because now that he knows I cheated on him, he also has something to defend himself.”

“Justice cannot be that unfair?”

“Oh trust me they can, especially when it’s a white rich man.” She sighs.

 

“So how did it go?”

“They’re processing the evidences, but the lawyer says that I have a good chance to win.”

“Perfect!” Seulgi goes towards Juhyun and kisses her head. “Did you parents try to contact you?”

“They didn’t, but I told you I don’t care anymore.”

“Okay.” She hums. “I brought you coffee by the way.”

“That’s sweet of you Seul, thank you.”

“Anything for you.” They both smile.

“Seul I was thinking.”

“Yeah?”

“If I asked you right now, to be my girlfriend, what would you say?”

“Aren’t we already? But I don’t know I guess you should try?” she smirks.

Juhyun also smiles. So she gets down on one knee in the middle of the street.

“Kang Seulgi, first I’m sorry I don’t have flowers.” It makes the latter laugh. “Second, I could never thank you enough for giving me another chance to get to know you after what I did. I promise I’ll treat you like a queen. So Kang Seulgi, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Seulgi can’t stop herself from nodding really hard. “I will.”

Juhyun stands up, being pulled by the girl and they kiss, hearing the cheers of other people passing by in the street. Of course Juhyun asked her in English, she kind of want the whole city to know about them. And it worked, because Seungwan apparently saw a video of the moment on Tiktok and called Seulgi. She says that she happy for them, because she also noticed the changes in Juhyun and that she trusts her. She also added that they are Tiktok famous now, and that it was not the best idea to do that in the street because she must be ready to face a wave of comments like “But she’s already married, she’s cheating on her husband!”

Juhyun says she doesn’t care and that she’s too old to understand social medias anyway. She does hope that James will see the Tiktok though.

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Comments

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Oct_13_wen_03 35 streak #1
Chapter 1: Never get enough of this, I still want more ^^
shinchan222 #2
Chapter 1: Can we have a sequel plzz....with James rotting in jail and seulrene living their happy life.
And also....seungwan is the best bestfriend a person could ever have really. Tho seulrene are the main protagonists... seungwan was the one who won my heart in this story.
Thanks you for writing<3
Maatt_booii #3
Chapter 1: Yeah One of the worst parents ever goes to juhyun's parents!!!
Happy that they're now in a relationship but, james and the divorce is still there,
I think part two is needed hehe
dtaylorz
#4
Chapter 1: is this story not over yet? this feels weird because the sentence ends in the word tiktok, and juhyun's problem with james isn't over yet
Oct_13_wen_03 35 streak #5
Chapter 1: ❤❤❤❤
Natzki25 #6
Chapter 1: Definitely worth the read. Great job authornim!! I’ve enjoyed your story.
reveluv316 740 streak #7
a long read but definitely worth it
Taeny901
#8
I'm gonna add this in my bookmark 😍