You cry like a girl, damn it. Stop it. Please...

Jaejoong continued to sob silently, his face buried on his knees as he hugged them.

Yunho gazed upon the starry sky above them after staring at Jaejoong's crying figure for so long. His eyes are starting to get hurt from over-stopping his tears. He let out a sigh.

"I love her Yunho-yah..."

"I know..." Yunho replied even though that remark stung him for an unknown reason.

"So much..."

Yunho stayed silent. He turned to the man beside him and saw the pale man wiping his own tears. He clenched his fist for not being able to do anything for his best friend.

Jaejoong sniffed.

Just forget about her. I'm here. "I'm here Jaejoongie..." Were the only words that came out.

Jaejoong sniffed again as he turned to meet Yunho's concern face. He looked down, embarassed that his best friend saw him at his lowest. "I know..." He whispered.

Yunho turned to the sky again, thinking that Jaejoong is really fragile—to him.

"Aish... My eyes hurt..." Jaejoong rubbed his heavy eyes.

"Do you hate her now?" Yunho asked.

Jaejoong turned to Yunho then laughed awkwardly. "I hope I can."

Darn it! You should Jaejoongie! She left you because you're not that famous! Whose sane girlfriend would do that?! Screw her! Yunho gritted his teeth to prevent his thoughts to be voiced out.

Jaejoong turned to Yunho again then saw him rubbing his forehead hard. "Are you ok?"

Yunho nodded as his last rub forces his thoughts out of his head. He heard Jaejoong let out a sigh that sounded like a sob to him.

Both of them looked at each other.

Jaejoong smiled weakly. "I'll be fine Yunho-yah..." He assured. Besides, it's his only option, to move on.

But I'm not fine Jaejoongie. I'm cursing right now. I hate her. I hate her for breaking your fragile heart. Yunho just nodded. But then, I'll pick those broken pieces of your heart, even if it means getting myself wounded.

"Yunho-yah... Why are you crying?" Jaejoong wiped Yunho's tears as tears fell from his eyes as well.

I'm crying? Yunho stared at Jaejoong's red puffy eyes then smiled. He reached his hand to wipe Jaejoong's tears. Finally he was able to. Finally he knew why. So that's it. That was all because he loves Jaejoong. I love you Jaejoongie.

+++

"She wants me back." Jaejoong sudddenly said after a long period of silence between him and Yunho.

I thought so. Yunho figured that out after Jaejoong told him that he'll meet his ex-girlfriend to have some friendly talk. He knew it. Who would not want Jaejoong for themselves now? Now that Jaejoong's so famous. Even he himself wants to. But he wants Jaejoong even before. But the only person who has the most power to be able to have Jaejoong is someone who Jaejoong wants also, someone who had Jaejoong before—his former girlfriend.

Jaejoong sighed as he rested his head on Yunho's shoulder.

Yunho smiled secretly. They've become closer after Jaejoong's break-up. But then, he knows that he will never have that special place in Jaejoong's heart. Never. He accepted it long ago but the pain still lingers within him. His love for his best friend is unrequited.

"Yunnie?" Jaejoong lifted his head to look at Yunho when he heard the other man sighed deeply.

Yunho forced a smile from his lips. "Do you still love her?"

Jaejoong stayed silent.

Silence means yes doesn't it? Yunho didn't realize before that silence can hurt him that bad, really bad.

"I'm thinking of composing a song for her. You know, for our first concert." Jaejoong broke the silence.

"That's good." Yunho's voice hitched. He stood up then walked away without looking back at Jaejoong. He predicted what'll happen next; he'll wet his pillows again while pretending he's asleep. Then wake up the next morning, facing the one who broke his heart with a huge fake smile on his face—like nothing happened.

+++

Yunho opened their apartment's door. Noises from his dongseangs made him miss Jaejoong more. He let his dongseangs enter their apartment first as he instructed them to sleep. He locked the door before he entered. His eyes scanned the living room to find any signs of Jaejoong but none. He went to the kitchen but there was no one. It's already late so he concluded that Jaejoong's already asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, he let himself fall into their living room's couch.

He closed his eyes. He's having a headache because of all the pressures and tons of works that are piling up for their upcoming first concert. And unfortunately, that's not all. He's still worried about Jaejoong and his ex-girlfriend. Can he take it? Can he take all of it alone? Will his heart stand the pain?

"Yunnie?"

Yunho opened his eyes and immediately turned to the owner of the soothing voice. Just hearing the voice makes his heart purr. "Jaejoongie? You're still up?" Yunho composed himself.

"I didn't notice that you've arrived, I was at our music room. Why aren't you sleeping?" Jaejoong walked towards Yunho then sat beside him.

"I thought you're already asleep." Yunho paused. "I'm about to sleep, I'm just resting." He replied as he closed his eyes, leaning his head on the back of the couch.

"You should sleep Yunnie." Jaejoong commanded.

Yunho smiled then opened his eyes to have a quick glance at the face he missed so much. He saw the pale face staring seriously at a piece of paper. "What's that?" He tried to lean towards Jaejoong to have a clearer view of the paper's contents.

But Jaejoong shoved it away. "This is nothing." Jaejoong faked a smile.

Yunho pouted, planning his next move to tease the older man. "You have a secret Jaejoongie?"

Jaejoong was taken back by the question.

"So you have..." Yunho smirked, feeling that he stabbed himself for saying that.

Jaejoong stood up. "This is really nothing. So go to sleep Yunnie."

Yunho frowned. He stood up and tried to snatch the paper away but Jaejoong was quicker than him. He failed. "Let me see it Jaejoongie!" Yunho demanded.

"It's none of your business Jung Yunho!" Jaejoong exclaimed, pissed.

Yes, it's none of your business Jung Yunho. Don't even think that you ever had. It's between them Jung Yunho. Stop butting in. "I see... I'm sorry..." Yunho turned his back then went directly to his room, preparing himself for another 'picking up your own broken heart's pieces' session. And of course, for another heart breaking moments he has yet to feel.

+++

"Dong Bang Shin Ki hwaiting!!!!" The five of them cheered at the backstage as they heard the intermission starting. After that, they went to their respective places, both nervous and excited.

Yunho looked at the center. Still worried because Jaejoong injured his foot while they were rehearsing before. And he remembered he was the last to know.

His eyes narrowed as he adjusted his sight to the darkness just to be able to have a glance at his lead singer. Tears are starting to form in his eyes. He looked away just before the smiling Jaejoong can see his crying form in the darkness.

Yunho saw Jaejoong talking to his ex at the dressing room a while ago. Both of them wearing a wide smile on their faces. And those smiles pounded his heart into ashes.

"Hyung?" Changmin's whisper reached Yunho's ears.

Yunho reasoned that he's just rubbing his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He composed himself when he heard Junsu's voice started to sing.

Jung Yunho dedicated their every love songs to only one man, Kim Jaejoong. Then promised to himself that after that, he'll forget all of his feelings for the man.

+++

Stop hurting yourself Jung Yunho. Yunho found himself staring at the TV on the backstage when it's Jaejoong's turn with his solo performance. He watched Jaejoong, forgetting his promise not to look at Jaejoong that way again.

"That's a wonderful song. I know you'll like it." Yoochun said from behind, smiling at their leader's actions.

Yunho remembered that he hasn't heard what Jaejoong will perform for his solo. He remembered Jaejoong's expression of not wanting Yunho on his rehearsals. Wounded, Yunho didn't dare to have a peek at Jaejoong's rehearsals. And now, more wounded, he silently watched Jaejoong's song for his ex-girlfriend—or maybe for his current girlfriend from afar.

Yunho's eyes widened after hearing the song.

+++

As the sunsets, my footsteps took me away.
When I opened my eyes,
I was standing somewhere I thought I had forgotten
I still felt some hate for you,
I want to be free already
Time will solve everything,
That’s what I believed.
I guess even that was stupid
But now I’m just gonna go with the flow,
And you don’t mean anything anymore

From the beginning, you never existed to me
Just like I never did to you
Remember,
Just as I was hurt by you,
One day you’ll go through this pain, from someone other than me.
I’m sorry,
This is all I can do
Honestly all I can do,
Like you did to me.
I want the day to come, where I’ll be able to start over again
For me who can’t love you and has to hate you

From the beginning, you never existed to me
Just like I never did to y