Unveiling the First Love
The Episode in Summer that Killed the Both of Them
As for Bella, resting is more exhausting than persuading her Mom to let her go to the market to drop the journal at the Lost and Found compartment. God knows how hard she tried to fight the urge of scrutinising throughout the pages of it.
“I’m all good, Mom. Please, look at me. I’m so okay.” Bella follows her in the living room to the kitchen, at the backyard, wherever her Mom steps a foot into. “Please.” At last Bella sighs, worn out and hopeful. “I really need to go, Mom.”
Mrs. Williams stops for a moment, back facing Bella. “I can’t, Carina.” She turns to her with a mixture of sullen and distressed facade and Bella faces herewith dour eyes. “I almost lost you out there. If only it wasn’t for that girl whom I thought is someone I knew ..'' Her Mom inhales deeply and tries to avoid eye-contact with the young girl. “I thought you’d understand. How do you expect to react to what happened? Just let it slide? And then what? You’d do it again? What’s happening to you, Carina? You weren’t like this.”
You weren’t like this.
And hits Bella. She finally realises how much moving to Texas and meeting Rafaela changed her life. She was a purely perfect whole and innocent before she left.. well, for as much as she could remember. And now, it’s been like she never stopped collecting all her tiny pieces that moving away caused her. Seeing her mother like this has also hit her for how hard it is for Mrs. William to be the only one raising Bella for almost two decades.
“I..” The latter releases a heavy breath and suddenly, she feels like a plump begins growing in throat, preventing Bella from speaking and her vision becomes blurry. Mrs. Williams pulls her gently and embraces Bella in her arms. “I just wish we never left home.”
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Bella’s POV
I’m starting to think like I’m manipulating my Mom with my emotions, which is not. Why would I do that with my own mother? I should probably stop thinking about manipulation and stuff before I even execute it intentionally. Which is never gonna happen.
I admit I was hopeful earlier, although it made me feel a little better. I thought she would permit me to drop by in the market, but she didn’t. She told me how many times that I must stay home. I’m suspecting she locked the door from outside because a couple of minutes ago, I was thinking of going to the Old Lady’s and I couldn't open it. And I don’t know but she has probably forgotten we have plenty of windows. I’m in fact in front of an open one.
I climb back to my room, lie onto my bed, breathe and think about that night
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