Chapter 6 - In This Disastrous Night, I Take the Price For Wanting You


Sana was curled up on the couch with Johnny and his boyfriend Ten at their shared apartment, crying her eyes out ever since Johnny opened the door for her.


“Sana, you’ve got to eat something…” Ten says, almost begging. Sana has been staying with them for a week now.


“I’m sorry…” she just replies and sits up, wiping her puffy face. It’s been almost three weeks since she last saw Yuta and not one single text or call from him since the last night they were together. Sana takes the bowl of food and a spoon from Ten and tries to eat as much as she can, not preventing the tears falling from her eyes as she does.


Johnny and Ten exchange glances and then looks at Sana. “Sana, honey, have you tried going to his place?” Ten asks carefully, one hand rubbing over Sana’s back. They didn’t mind that Sana was staying over, they loved her a lot but seeing their sunny Sana like this broke their hearts.


Sana just nods and places her bowl on the table, unable to eat more.


“It’s okay…” Johnny mouths to Ten and takes the bowl and spoon to the kitchen, going back with a glass of water and hands it to Sana. “Here, drink this please.” he tells Sana and she does as she’s told to then just holds onto the glass.


“He’s not there anymore…” Sana sighs, what if Yuta really left or his parents took him back to Japan or the people following him weren’t able to protect him and he was attacked or something?


Or what if he just doesn’t want her anymore?


“So, he left… just like that? No anything? Can’t even reach his phone?” Ten scoffs, his blood was boiling. “What a jerk!”


“Ten…” Sana begins then sighs, she wanted to tell them that his phone was ringing, just no one answering.


Sana had a feeling it had something to do with his being a vampire, but she can’t understand why he wouldn’t tell her now that she knows about it.


“I’m sorry…” she says again. It was vacation time and the couple had been babysitting her. She was thankful but she actually feels bad. “It’s summer vacation and I’m keeping you both here.”


“No, it’s okay.” Johnny says, “We actually prefer to see you here and well than not knowing what you’re doing alone.” Ten nods, agreeing.


Sana smiles softly at them and stands to pull them both into a hug, “I love you two, so much.” She pulls back and gestures to the door. “I should go home. I haven’t cleaned since Jeongyeon left for vacation.”


“You’re okay to stay here, really. We don’t mind, besides, it’s late.”


“It’s okay, thank you so much. Will probably bug you in the next few days after I’ve cleaned up. Will probably clear my head, too. I need a distraction. Besides, you probably have plans. Go to the beach or something.” She chuckles, she could see Johnny get excited, she nods.


“I’ll call you two, I promise. And no!” She puts a hand up to stop the two from standing up, “I can walk back, I promise!” Her place was just walking distance, and she wanted to walk alone.


“Are you sure?” Ten asks, concerned.


“Yes, Ten, I promise. I’ll call you soon as I arrive.” She walks towards the door, “I’ll see myself out. Again, I’m sorry for this…” she gestures to herself.


“It’s really okay, Sana.” Johnny says, smiling at him, “We love you, too, okay?” 


Sana gives them both flying kisses and sees herself out. She was still feeling sluggish and weak but she felt bad for keeping Ten and Johnny in their apartment when they could go out and have fun. She puts on a face mask and hides her head in her hoodie and walks back to her apartment.


Her walk actually made her feel a little better since the cold distracted her from thinking and all she wanted to do was just arrive at her apartment and rest but when she reached the door of her apartment, a familiar figure was standing by it. Sana paused, she didn’t really want to approach him but he seemed to have heard her footsteps as he was looking up and was already facing her.


“Sana…” Yuta begins as he walks towards Sana but for some reason she was taking a step backward.


“What are you doing here?” she asks, she was actually feeling angry now.


“I…I came to see you, and apologize…and explain.” he says, voice sounding weak. Sana wanted to comfort him as he looked off but he was overwhelmed by hurt and anger.


“Oh, really? After almost a month, you decide to do that now? Why? Is your conscience eating you up?” she asks coldly.


“That too, but that’s not really the reason. Please, can we talk properly?”


“Aren’t we talking now?”


“I mean, inside…”


“Why do you think I’ll let you inside?”


Yuta looked at Sana, he was actually surprised to see Sana this annoyed and angry but he can’t really blame her. Hiding from her was stupid and he knows that, but he just wanted her to be safe. 


“Sana, please… You can hate me after, I just really need to tell you this. But not here…” he walks over to her and holds her hands, looking at her, “Please, Sana…” he begs and Sana tugs her hands from Yuta’s hold and walks over to her unit, opening the door and points for Yuta to go inside in which he does so quickly.


“Thank you so much.” Yuta says, sounding relieved.


“So, what is it that you need to tell me that you can’t tell me outside?” Sana asks, leaning against the wall.


“I…I actually want to apologize first.” Yuta begins, just standing in front of Sana, they were still by the entrance. “I’m sorry I disappeared again without telling you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I left my apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your messages or call you back. I just…” he pauses and Sana actually tries to be patient, not wanting to be unfair even if she was actually annoyed from the abandonment, sort of. “I was just afraid to contact you, in fear that they may find you.”


“Who? And whatever or whoever they are, they probably already know who I am and where I live. Why are you afraid that they’ll find me? Yuta, what are you still hiding?” Sana was so curious that she was starting to get scared.


“My parents… they knew about my transformation and they wanted to take me back to Japan but I refused. They threatened that they’ll use you to get to me so I chose to ghost you in hopes of them thinking that I was no longer associated with you. But I found that stupid. Shouldn’t I be protecting you since they may still do something to you even if we’re not together?” he sighs, “I was just about to get out of my stupidity when I suddenly felt so hungry that I couldn’t function properly. I had to lock myself up until the hunger subsided.”


“Really? You ignored me for 3 weeks because of hunger? You could’ve just eaten why did you…” Sana suddenly realizes what Yuta was referring to, she looks at him with wide eyes.


“I couldn’t bear the thought of having fresh human blood, I tried some animals but it wasn’t enough. I’d have to drink them to death if I wanted to feel satiated but I couldn’t do that. It was even harsh for me to prick them and drink them. I’d feel more full with human blood but I couldn’t do that.” he sighs again, “I got scared that what if you were around and I get this bad urge to drink human blood and you’re the closest? I don’t want to harm you, Sana.”


Sana just stared at Yuta; he looked tired and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, she was pitying him but she was also still hurt and mad at him.


“Then why are you here?” she asks, her voice sounding weak but she didn’t want to give in easily.


“I really missed you, Sana. I missed you so much that it physically hurt me. And I wanted to tell you in person, I knew it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t tell you in person.” Yuta said, just looking at Sana. He wasn’t the confident, bad boyish Yuta she met; this Yuta was foreign and she was feeling bad.


Sana closes the gap and carefully slips her arms on either side of Yuta’s waist and hugs him there, looking up at him with her look softening. She couldn’t get angry at Yuta for long.


“Are you hungry now?” she asks, nuzzling Yuta’s jaw with her nose.


“A little…” he replies, eyes closing and head leaning against the wall. “I’m really sorry, baby…”


“It’s okay for now, Yuta. I just hope you won’t exclude me anymore.” She looks up at Yuta and meets his eyes, “When I chose to stay after you admitted the truth to me, I was ready to be with you no matter what. Through safety and in danger, I will stay with you. Yuta…” she pulls him closer while his arms wrap around her, “...I hope you know I’m serious with you. I’m not really sure where you stand and I don’t want to pressure you, but please know that I’m serious and I’m willing to go through anything and everything with you because I love you. And if, in the future, you decide that you don’t want to be with me anymore; I will be ready, you don’t have to worry.”


“Sana it’s…being with me, it’s more…more complicated and dangerous than what I have told you and I…” he sighs, “...I’m sorry I haven’t really told you everything yet.”


“Are you willing to tell me?”


Yuta pauses, unsure if he wanted to tell Sana everything, but he promised her he will be honest. He nods. “Yes…”


Sana nods as well and pulls back, holding his hand and pulling him to her bedroom. “Sit, please. I’ll get you something to eat even though…it’s not really what you need. I’ll be back…” she goes out of her room the moment Yuta gets comfortable in bed. She wanted to take a breath as she was honestly afraid that Yuta was now craving for human blood. She was curious how it would feel to be bitten but at the same time she was afraid, what if he bites her and drinks her until she dies? She knew Yuta was afraid to bite her since he told her before but she never thought it would come to this. How could she not know he’d need blood? He was a vampire, after all.


She prepares a simple tuna sandwich and instant iced coffees before going back to the bedroom.


“I  hope this is fine…” she says and sits on the bed with Yuta, placing the food between them. “This is the only thing available that I can make quickly.”


“This is fine, thank you baby.” Yuta says with a soft smile, “I’d eat anything, I haven’t eaten in weeks.”


Sana frowned, she knew he needed blood but he could’ve just eaten anything for energy.


“Please, never do that again.” Sana says, pushing the plate towards Yuta, “Now, eat this, please. I’m not hungry…” She picks up a sandwich and presses it to Yuta’s lips, he takes it with a chuckle and takes a big bite, humming at the taste.


“Uhm, can you tell me now?” Sana asks after Yuta has taken a few bites, she receives a nod.


“Remember I told you I was being followed?” Sana nods, sitting more comfortably on the bed. “When my parents found out I transformed, they had me followed even in my apartment when I clearly asked them to give me privacy at home and at school. My parents insisted that I needed more protection since I became this…” he gestures to himself, “I talked to my parents and asked them to take the guards back home and after a huge fight with them, they agreed and with the condition that I go back with them. I clearly didn’t want to so they threatened me they’ll use you against me.


“I got afraid, and I honestly don’t scare easily. I lied to them that the last time you were here, we broke up, that’s why I didn’t contact you in case they could trace my phone or something. They would call me everyday and ask me to come back since they wanted us to be complete for a ceremony or something. I-” he pauses, suddenly afraid of his future with Sana. “Sana there, there are actually a lot of vampires in Japan and I believe here also. The virus that I told you? It spread because there were groups that bit innocents when they were specifically told by the maker not to because we don’t know what will happen.”


“What do you mean by maker?” Sana interrupts, Yuta sighs.


“He’s a scientist who made the vampire virus. We are not traditional vampires, since they died ages ago. This scientist, Dr. Sasaki, chose people who wanted to live forever and was willing to try out the virus. My… My father was one of the selfish people who wanted to try it. The scientist injected the virus on 10 people and 2 of them died on the spot, while the other 8 became vampires. Dr. Sasaki prepared blood for them so they wouldn’t attempt to bite him after they turned. They have referred to him as the maker ever since.”


Yuta pauses for a while to sip on his coffee since he could feel his mouth drying from all the explaining. “His specific instructions was to not bite other people because he was not sure what the effect would be. He wanted to study it first, find a few volunteers before he could give further instructions. He was honestly surprised his first experiment worked. But then, a few of them didn’t want to waste time, they were seriously just selfish, and bit on their family members to check if they would transform or die. Most of them transformed, some died. I…” he sighs, suddenly remembering, “I’m sorry I lied about not knowing what will happen if I bit you.”


Sana gives him a smile, she was actually glad Yuta lied to her because she would’ve been eager to get bitten so she can live forever with him but at the same time, now that she knew, she was afraid that it could instantly kill her. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to lie.” she tells him. “Continue…”


“Well, yeah, most of them transformed and most of them bit other people, too, so the vampire population grew. My dad, he… he bit my mother and she luckily transformed even though I really wouldn’t call it lucky because it was risky and dangerous. My mom didn’t like it because she wanted to have a family, to have kids and she wasn’t sure if she’d still get pregnant with the vampire virus. And she did, after decades of living, they had me. Nobody knew if giving birth with the virus could affect a child since there was almost no news about vampire couples giving birth to their own children. Dr. Susaki left Japan after the population grew because he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t control them anymore.


“When my mom gave birth to me, they immediately checked if I was infected—all my blood tests were normal. You see, people infected with the virus don't have red blood cells and they have no heartbeats.” he shows his wrist to Sana and she instinctively presses two fingers on his pulse point, there was no pulse. “The virus kills us but somehow doesn’t kill us, you know? The rest of our bodily functions are the same as normal people, just those two things.


“Anyway, my mom was glad that I didn’t seem to be infected since I was normal in every test. I don't even know how I’m suddenly transforming, my parents also have no idea, that was why they wanted me to return back home. My family…” he sighs, “My father is somewhat the leader of those who first transformed and he is still regarded as one, he didn’t want his reputation to be ruined because of me. He was worried I might do just that with my late and mysterious transformation.”


Yuta places the tray of food on the bedside table and sits closer to Sana, holding her hands. “Please tell me if this is too much information. I don’t want you to be overwhelmed.”


Sana nods, moving to sit on Yuta’s lap and hugs him. “Maybe some other time, you also need to rest.”


“Thank you. Oh… I just remembered.” Yuta looks up at her, head tilted a little to the side. He was looking like the Yuta she knew. She was glad to have helped him. “You told me you loved me…” she blushed, she wasn’t expecting for Yuta to take notice of that.


“I-” she couldn’t form words, Yuta must’ve gotten surprised at the sudden confession. It was almost just two months since they officially met and said they liked each other. Now she loves him? But she really does.


“I love you…” Yuta suddenly says and Sana wanted to cry, the sincerity in his face and voice was too much. “I love you, okay? Please always remember that.”


Sana couldn’t do anything but just nod and kiss him, she was so happy that she actually forgot how miserable she was for three weeks.


“Please, never not include me again. I will be here for you whatever and I mean it, okay?” Yuta nods, pressing soft kisses on her lips and jaw. “If you get hungry, I’ll help you find ways to feed, okay? Just, don’t do that again.” Sana sighs, suddenly feeling her tiredness coming back.


“I’m sorry, I won’t anymore.”  Yuta promises, he hates how sad he made Sana. 


“Can we rest? I’m feeling really tired.” Sana says and Yuta pulls her to lay on the bed with him, cuddling her close. “Can I stay here for the meantime?” Yuta asks


“Of course! Where did you stay, anyway? I went to your apartment and it was empty.”


“I, well, I stayed at a hotel. It’s somewhere they can’t approach me freely.”


Sana nods again, yawning. “Let’s talk again later, okay?” she closes her eyes and was falling asleep, “Let’s talk…” she wasn’t able to finish as she was already asleep with Yuta just holding her close and watching her until he too lets sleep take him.

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