Minju Ryle Cadiz pov.

I'm currently in my apartment room, rummaging the papers on top of my table. I was looking for a piece of paper that the doctor gave me yesterday. 'Kailangan na kailangan ko pa naman yon. I continue to look, read every paper in front of me. I don't know how much time had passed since I started to find that piece of paper. My temple starting to ache, I'm literally panicking, and at the same time my phone keeps on ringing.

I sigh. Close my eyes and breathe. Calm down muna tayo Minju.

After a couple of deep breaths, I look at my phone that's still ringing. As soon as I saw the caller lalong sumakit ang ulo ko at sumikip ang dibdib ko. Tangina kelan ba ako tatantanan neto! I drop my phone beside me and back to my business again. Hindi parin tumitigil yung phone ko pero I can't turn it off, because I'm waiting for something important.

I started looking for that 'piece of paper when I wake up, mag hahapon na at syempre nag hahanap parin ako. Hinanap ko na sa lahat ng sulok ng apartment na to 'tangina wala parin. Tinigna ko na rin sa bag at wallet ko kung sakaling nailagay ko man pero wala rin. I was about to cry for real, I badly need it. Bakit ba hindi ko maalala kung saan ko nilagay yon! bwisit.

After I don't know how many minutes I finally give up. I'm hungry, stressed, and emotional right now. I don't know what to do anymore. Tumigil na ako at naupo nalang sa gilid ng kama ko, isang buntong hinga.

"PUTANGINA MO LIFE!" I shouted burying my face on my pillow.

I close my eyes tightly still hearing my phone. Any second now my tears will fall, pero pinipigilan kong bumagsak siya ng tuluyan. I promise to myself na I'll never cry again not until it's worth it. Ayoko nang masayang ang luha ko sa mga walang kakwenta kwentang bagay. I inhale and exhale calming myself and open my eyes. Punta nalang ulit ako sa doctor bukas, sana may copy pa sila.

I look up blankly at my ceiling, no thoughts... just blank. Nothing comes up. I can hear now my stomach pero yung katawang lupa ko walang balak kumilos. Gusto ko nalang mag pa gulong gulo dito sa kama na hindi iniisip ang bukas. Kelan kaya mangyayari yon? Kelan kaya ako magiging masaya nang walang kapalit? Kelan kaya...

I sigh again for the nth time. I decided to pick my phone.

unknown:
156 missed called.

I put my phone in airplane mode since hapon na, feeling ko wala na tatawag sakin dun sa mga inapplyan kong trabaho. Kasi alam ko naman yung 156 missed called e galing sa iisang tao lang. Di nga tao e demonyo! I scroll at my social media while thinking what to eat. Gumagabi na at wala parin akong kinakain. I just keep on scrolling, ai don't have my appetite na since nalipasan na ako ng gutom kaya hindi ko na talaga alam.

I was about to put my phone down and get something to eat when I receive an email. I slide down the notification bar to look what email it is. Tangina sana wag muna bills please lang!

My eyes gets bigger as soon as I read where the email came from. Tangina scam ba to?

I applied in one of the best university in this country last week. Sobrang bangag ako nung nag take ako ng exam kasi after shift ko sa part time ko derecho agad ako dun, kaya hindi ako umasa na makakapasa ako tanginaaaaa! I can't believe this. I can't be decieve! baka may nang iiscam lang sakin puta.

I instantly go to messenger and send a message to my friend.

Yuri bruha

hoy!

reply asap!

istorbo kaba?

gaga! diba nag apply ka sa snu??

oo bakit?

lumabas naba results?

ha?? hindi ko alam
meron naba?? omg.

gaga!

IKAW NGA TINATANONG KO PUTA NAMAN!

I waited for her reply, and it's taking some time. Puta di nga niya talaga alam! Gagang babae talaga to ano kaya inaatupag niya sa kanila. I just look intently at the email that I recieve a while ago, still can't believe if it's real.

Email

From. Southern National University

Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to the Southern National University Class of 2022.

Your thoughtful application and remarkable accomplishments convinced us that you have the intellectual energy, imagination and talent to flourish at SNU. Among the over 20,000 applications we read, your distinguished record of academic excellence and personal achievement stood out. We are thrilled to welcome you to the SNU community and look forward to the unique and extraordinary contributions we know you will make to the intellectual and extracurricular life of our campus.

While we have every reason to believe you will complete this school year successfully, remember that your admission is contingent upon your continued strong academic performance in the program you presented to us in your application.

Once again, I extend my congratulations on your admission to SNU and welcome you to the SNU family.

Sincerely,

Caitlyn Falley Klier

Director of Admission

First of all I have remarkable accomplishments?... and a record of academic excellence?? Weird. Ganun ba kataas score ko sa entrance exam nila para pekein nila acceptance letter nila sakin? O ganun ba ako kagaling nung high school sa acads? Di ko na kasi matandaan. Oh... baka naman scam talaga to puta. 

I reread the email again and again thinking is it really real. As far as I know SNU is one of the prestigious university in this country at di sila tumatanggap basta basta ng mga students so... bat ako? I can't stop thinking it, sa totoo lang nag try lang naman ako kasi mapilit si Yuri kaya di talaga ako makapaniwala.

Yuri bruha

TANGINA TOTOO NGA!

may silbi ka rin palang kaibigan

ikaw lang walang silbi!

btw, i recieved an email.

gaga weh?

yep.

[send screenshot]

cant believe it myself.

hala! mali ata tong napasukan ko

bat tumatanggap sila ng bobo??

tangina mo!

naka pasok ka rin?

OO NAMAN!

anong kala mo sakin!

PANGIT!

bahay now na!

mag hahanda daw nanay ko gagi

pag kakataon mo na to para maki kain

tangina mo!

otw.

I instantly grab my jacket and wore my sneakers near the door. I look at my phone if there's a reply from Yuri but nothing. Maybe tita's already congraluating and pestering her. How nice to have a parents... or someone who's happy with your achievements. Btw, bawal nega Minju! Totoo ito! Totoo nga napakasok akong SNU!

I close the door next behind me and start marching down the stair as fast as I can. Yuris house is just two corners away from where I'm staying. I have a bike. I bought it last month from my salary since mahirap mag commute, naisipan ko nalang mag pedal, tutal around the area lang naman yung pinag papart time-an ko. Pedalin ko na rin papunta kela Yuri.

I'm smiling while riding my bike, feeling the cold air hitting my face. I'm happy... yes I'm happy. Sana wag muna matapos ang araw nato. Kahit wala pa kong kain may maganda naman nangyare sa araw ko! Dedma muna sa mga negativity, tsaka na kayo. Ako muna. Tsaka ko na isipin yung mga problema kong di na uubos at mauuna pa ata akong maubos. But right now, at this moment... pa smile lang kahit hanggang bukas lord. Thank you pi!

I stop near Yuris place and I can clearly see tita and tito preparing food from their window. I look at them for a minute... sana all. Tito started to call his friends and brag about her daugther entering SNU a prestigious school. I din't realize that I was smiling at tito and his bragging until he look to where I'm standing with my bike, he met my eyes and smile lovingly.

"Ayun! Isa ko pang anak guys sa SNU din yan!" Tito said pointing at me.

I smile widely and finally approach him. It feels so warm. My heart feels so warm even in those simple words. I don't remember when was the last time I felt a parents love. Yuris parents are very sweet to me and treat me as their own, pero iba parin kung sarili mong mga magulang yung nagpaparamdam ng pag mamahal na hindi na dapat hinihingi as a parent for their child.

"Yuriel andito na si Minju!" Tita.

I am parking my bike beside their store, they owned a flower shop. After I position my bike I bow and greeted tito and his friend he mouthed me a 'congratulation' I smile again and mouthed 'thank you' at him.

" bat ang tagal mo!" Yuri said at pinamewangan ako.

"Gaga! Ang bilis ko nga 5mins lang" I said approaching her.

"Bat namumutla ka?"

"Ha? Sinasabi mo jan"

"Di ka nanaman kumain sa oras nuh?!" She said glaring at me and I just give her a sly smile.

She smack my shoulder. "Tangina mo sinasabi ko sayo ha! Kumain ka! Mamaya mag collapse ka nalang bigla jan!"

"Nakalimutan ko lang occupied ako masyado"

"Occupied yang ulo pag hinambalos ko yan" She said giving me a plate.

I was about to get my own food but tita told me to just sit and she'll get it for us. Yuri now sit beside me and look at me pitiful.

"Mukha na ba akong sobrang nakakaawa? Kukupkupin mo naba ako ulit?" I joke.

"Ikaw naman nag pumilit umalis dito" She said now not looking at me.

I met Yuri when I was in 6th grade. We were living at the same apartment building but we don't know each other that time since they just transfered from the province, and my family is already staying in the apartment when they arrive. One time, umuwi ako from school mag isa since walang sumundo sakin na supposed to be my parents would pick me up but no one came and it's getting dark. So I decided to go home bravely thinking, they just busy with work and forget to pick me up once isn't a big deal. I was so excited that time because I can brag to them that I can go home safely on my own.

When I arrive at the apartment building I'm still smiling until I reach the floor where my family is staying. I know the password of our unit so I unlock it and excitedly get inside to meet my parents but... no one's home. As a positive thinker, I just thought they're be here in no time. They just busy. They will come home. Ofcourse they will, their daugther is waiting for them. As a kid I have a strong belief to my parents. They love me, kahit kelan di sila nagkulang kahit na hindi kami mayaman, lahat ng pangangailangan ko that time they provide. They always make sure that I feel loved. That night... I waited for them. I waited and wait for them to come home. My smile's fading as the night gets deeper. I was on my own in that apartment for the first time.

The night gets deeper and deeper but I still wait for them and forced myself to be awake the whole night. Thinking, what if they come home and I missed them? I know they're gonna work in the morning so if I missed them I will not have an opportunity to brag that I came home on my own, and that they don't need to pick me up anymore para naman mabwasan ang hirap nila kahit papaano but... nothing. Inamuga na ako pero walang parents na umuwi. I also get hungry since I didn't eat dinner that night. I didn't go to school in the morning, wala akong lakas. I'm still confused... bakit hindi sila umuwi? I can understand if one of them didn't make but two? Nakalimutan ba nila ako? Masyado na ba akong pabigat para mag overtime sila sa work for our expenses? Or they abandoned me? But no. My parents love me. I know that for sure. I just sat on our living room still confused kung nasaan na ang parents ko since this is the firts time that it happened.

I still waited for them in the morning. I barely move from where I am sitting in the living room when suddenly our apartment doorbell rang. I immidiately run towards to door to open it hoping my parents finally arrived at tama ako na busy lang sila sa work. I open our door with a smile but suddenly... it fades right away when a two police officer meet my eyes.

"Ikaw ba yung anak ni Mr. and Mrs. Cadiz?" One officer ask so I nod my head.

They look inside the house. "Wala ka bang ibang kasama? Guardian o kamag anak ng mga magulang mo?" I shake my head and I saw their reaction changed into a sad one.

"Pwede kaba sumama samin? About to sa parents mo" One officer said.

I look at him in confusion. My parents thought me not to talk to stranger at lalong wag na wag sasama sa kahit na sino but I'm also curious. Why do police officers is in front of our apartment door? Why they're talking about my parents that didn't get home last night? Do they know where my parents are? Are they okay? There's so many question in my head that time  and all I can do is to nod at them.

They me completely out of our apartment door and they signaled me to walk first. I was about to march forward when some kid speak up.

"San niyo dadalhin kapit bahay ko?" She said. 

As I heard her I can recognize that her accent is different from us. The officers look at her and smile

"Ahh, may importante lang napupuntahan tong kapit bahay mo sasamahan lang namin" Officer.

"MAMAAAAA! MAAAAMAAAAAA!!!" The three of us look at her and her sudden action.

She's shoutings for her mom? We look at her so confused at her action and a second later a woman get out of the apartment door next to where I stay and immidiately check her with a concerned look. 

"ANO NANGYARI SAYO YURIEL KO?!!" The woman said still checking the kid.

The kid didn't say any words and just pointed at me. Her mama as she said look immidiately to where she's pointing. I'm looking at them so the mama and I meets eyes. The woman gulp and stand up straight turning her attention to the officers.

"Umm, sir hindi sa nangengealam ako pero saan niyo dadalhin yung bata? Wala po ba yung mga magulang niya?" Woman.

The officer look at me trying hard to pick some words. "Police po kami madam... about naman po sa parents niya, ano po kasi..." The police officers didn't finish his words and that make me more confused.

The woman and I waits for him to finished his sentence but insted of finishing it he just walk towards the woman and whisper something. The scene now get more and more confusing than what it is. After the officer whisper something to the woman, she looked at me with a pitiful eyes. Also her daugther beside her that I think overheard what the officer said.

"Tinatry papo namin contakin yung ibang kamag anak kaso wala papo nag rerespond" Officer.

"Pwede ko ba siyang samahan? Kawawa naman yung bata kung mag isa lang siya" Woman.

I overheared them. Bakit ako magiging kawawa e pupuntahan lang namin ang parents ko? Di ba mas magiging okay ako kasi finally makikita ko na sila after a whole night of waiting, right?

"Sige wait lang po kunin ko lang ang bag ko sir" Woman.

As the woman disappear, I just stayed quiet beside the officer. I didn't ask any more question as I don't want to get it more confusing than what it is. Inside of me is excited because they're talking about my parents and I'm finally meeting them. I miss them even it's just a whole night, kasi never naman to nangyare. Never naman na wala sila sa tabi ko. I was lost in my own thoughts when I feel someone hold my hand and put a snickers on my palm.

"Kainin mo 'yan! Rinig ko tiyan mo galit na" The kid said and smile at me.

"Yuri dito ka nalang sasamahan ko lang siya sandali" The woman said after getting her bag.

"Sama ako." The kid said and hold my hand

Her mom just nod and we march toward the elevator. There's a part of me na kinakabahan na sa nangyayare but I convinced myself not to. My parents will be there. I'm confident because they love me. They love me so much and they will not abandon me in this world on my own.

The three of us sit in the backseat of the police car. I sat there quietly still holding the snickers the kid gave a while ago. I'm calming myself and not to think any bad things, my parents and I will meet soon.

"Bat 'di mo pa kinakain yan?" She whispered.

I look at her. She's pouting her lips.

"Ano pangalan mo?" She said with her accent. "Ako nga pala si Yuriel Milano baka nawiwierduhan kana sakin" She continue and offer her hands to me.

I took her hand and look at her eyes, it is full of sincerity. I am not wierded by her actually her actions kinda conforting me.

"M-minju" I said voice cracking since it's actually my first word for today. "Minju Rylee" I timidly said.

She nod her head and smile "Eat mo na 'yan. Need mo energy" Yuri said and hold my hand. "Magiging okay din lahat... Ry"

I nod at her and open the chocolate she gave me as I turn my gaze outside. I ate the chocolate slowly. No need to rush eat I'll eat something good with my parents later.

I keep the postive thinking until we reach our location. I look around and realize that we're at the hospital. The two officer gets out of the car first then signaled us to follow them. We enter the hospital and walk until we reach the end corner of the area. While we're walking my body is starting to tremble as my knees are getting weaker at unti unti nang natutuyo ang lalamunan ko. Habang papalapit kami ng papalapit sa dulo ng napapagtanto ko na kung saan dederecho and I can feel my eyes starting to get watery.

"Samahan ka namin sa loob" The officer said as he slowly opening the door of the hospital morgue.

I didn't move nor look at the opened door. I keep swallowing the lump in my throat pero di naalis at parang may nakabara parin. Is this real? Bakit nila ako dinala dito? My parents aren't here!

I took all the energy left in my body and- "NO!" that's the only thing left out my mouth as my body keeps on trembling and the lump in my throat keeps blocking me to say anything. I hysterically shake my head and feel the water from my eyes that I keep from falling started to fall.

"N-no!" I said, lips trembling. "Y-you... s-sabi mo... d-dal...dadalhin mo ako s-sa...parents ko" I finally finish what I'm trying to say looking down, tears keeps on falling. I know it already... I know it myself. Hindi ko lang kayang tanggapin! Bakit? Bakit sila? Bakit magulang ko pa? Wala naman sila sinabi sakin na mawawala na sila. Okay pa naman kami kahapon. Isang gabi lang naman na nawala sila sa tabi ko, kaya ko naman silang intindihin at nauwin. Ang hindi ko kayang intindihin at unain ay ang sitwasyon ngayon. BAKIT???

Realizing the situation my body collapse in front of the morgue. I don't have the stregth to enter the place. The tears that I keep from falling is now freely falling on its own will. My knees that doesn't have any thrength and my body that trembling stumbled on the cold tiles of the hospital floor.

After a couple seconds I felt someone hug me from the back and comforted me. Hindi ko na alam ang sumunod na nangyare umiyak lang ako nang umiyak habang hawak ako ni Yuri. Her mom insisted na wag na ipilit na silipin ko ang parents ko sa morgue and that she'll help assist the funeral since walang sumasagot sa mga kamag anak namin.

Since that day, Yuri never leave my side. 

Her mom facilitate all the things for my parents funeral at kahit isa sa mga kamag anak namin ay walang nagpunta. I was so lost that time. I can't properly eat and I can barely sleep. How can a 12 years old live on her own? For my relative I barely know them since mga nasa province sila. At the age of 12 I was already stressed how can I survive in life.

After the funeral at nailibing narin ang parents ko Yuri and her family didn't abandoned me. At first I thought they just doing this because they pity me, after all of this they will leave me too. But no. I was wrong. We they finally reached one of my relatives they instantly refused to take me, saying na malaki daw ang utang ng parents ko sa kanila at dadagdag akong pabigat para sa kanila kaya Yuris mom decided to take me in. At fisrt I was hesitant sino ba naman ako para makisapi sa kanila, mismong kadugo ko nga tinanggihan ako. But they reat me as their own dahil only child lang naman daw si Yuri.

Yuri also welcomed me and insisted to share bed with me. She treated me as her sister and I reciprocated all the love they gave me throught the years. Yuri and I always argue but reconcile after a minute. Walang kinakampihan sila tita, they just blame the both of us. Sobrang thankful talaga ako sa pamilya ni Yuri and I'm happy that her mom take me in. 'Habang buhay kong pasasalamat kay tita yon.

When we enter our senior high school Yuri insisted that we both go to south high but I refused. Her parents also convinced me but I declined because they will pay for it at ayoko naman na sobrang iasa nalang sa kanila lahat kaya I choose to enroll in the public school and decided to move out. Since 18 naman na ako I want to live on my own kahit na mahirap, sobra sobra na yung naitulong sakin ng family ni Yuri and I want to be independent and support myself for my future since kaya ko naman na kahit papano.

Syempre againts ang parent ni Yuri sa idea ko since they treat me as their own but I need to. I tell them na kakayanin ko at uuwi naman ako kung di ko na kaya. They just laugh but still concerned. Yuri is also againts it but she doesn't show her affection. "Edi okay luluwag na ang kama ko" She said when I'm starting to packed my things, but I can see the worry on her eyes.

I rent the apartment na malapit sa school para hindi na babyahe. Yuris dad helped me lumipat and they also buy things for me although I have money since since nag iipon ako at nagpapart time din ako nung high school sa flower shop nila. They me a bed and toiletries and pay the advance in my apartment para hindi daw ako mahirapan at makapag ipon pa sa mga susunod na hulog. Sobra sobrang thankful talaga ako sa kanila.

I applied at the cafe near the school as part timer during my senior year and also work part time in 7/11 in the evening. Kinaya ko naman ang dalawang taon on my own, mahirap pero kaya naman. Stressed lang sa school at kung pano ko bubuhayin ang sarili ko. Hindi rin ako nagkaroon ng mga kaibigan since nakafocus ako sa work para masustentuhan ko ang sarili ko kaya naman, si Yuri lang talaga ang nag iisang kaibigan ko. She visited me from time to time sa apartment ko and I do the same naman sa house nila since dalawang kanto lang naman ang layo, and until now I still live in that aparment.

"Bakit parang pumpayat ka Minju?" Yuris mom asked habang nilalagay niya ang mga pag kain sa table namin ni Yuri.

"Di naman po bumaba timbang ko tita"

"Sinungaling" Yuri hissed.

I smacked her legs under the table and smile at her mom.

"Minju anak... alam mo naman welcome na welcome ka dito anytime ha?" Tita said and I nod at her with a smile. "Kahit kailan wag kang mahihiyang bumalik si Yuri naman ang papalayasin namin" Tita said and left out a soft laugh while Yuri's doing a make face. "Kain lang ha! Daming pag kain para sayo to lahat nakikisali lang si Yuri sa celebratrion mo" Then tita laugh.

Yuri look at her. "Di niyo talaga ako anak no?" She scoff.

Tita finally let us eat and join tita in the next table with their friends. Tahimid lang ako kumuha ng pagkain, konti lang kinuha ko since bawal sakin na biglang sobrang kain.

"Yan na yon?" Yuri looking from my plate to me knitting her brows.

"Oo?"

"Tangina mo kaya namamayat e! Anong ginagawa mo?" She said getting more food and attemp to put it into my plate but stop her.

"Okay na sakin to gagi! Mamaya nalang ulit pwede naman bumalik" 

Yuri intently looking at me not convinced.

"Kumain ka nalang rin jan. Kukuha pa ako promise" I said and started eating.

I eat slowly since my stomach is aching na kaya need dahan dahan lang. I look at Yuri who's peacefully eating while constantly looking at her phone.

"Hyewon?" I asked.

She looked at me. "Oo? Sinabi ko natanggap ako sa SNU pero wala pang reply"

"Ano ba meron sainyo ni Hyewon" I said while eating the carbonara.

"Friend?... Friend kami." She said nodding her head.

"Baka busy lang" Pampalubag loob. "Diba super active ng family nila"

"E di naman yon nakikisali sa mga family affairs"

"Baka ayaw kana kausap"

"Baka nga" She timidly said and continue eating.

There's no secret between the two of us but sometimes I can't get her. Well, di ko lang naman siya magets pag lovelife pinag uusapan naman. Pero madalas sa mga pinagsasabi niya di ko talaga maintindihan hehe.

We were peacefully eating when my phone started ringing. Yuri look at my phone and as soon as she saw the caller her expression change.