***

The first time Yesung tries to confess to Hyukjae, it’s through a text message.

Because he’s a coward. Because he can’t bring himself to tell the younger in person.

Because it’s better to know his reaction through text instead, where they can’t see each other face-to-face, and where nobody can see or hear them.

It took Yesung three weeks to convince himself to finally confess his feelings to Hyukjae. As to when exactly he had started growing feelings for his dongsaeng, Yesung doesn’t know.

But what he does know is that, every time Hyukjae enters the room, Yesung’s eyes are on him immediately, and it’s as if they’re the only ones that exist in the world. Whenever Hyukjae talks or laughs, Yesung always listens secretly, reveling in the sound of the younger’s voice. Whenever Hyukjae is near, Yesung can’t help but approach him, and he even welcomes all the teasing that comes his way afterwards.

As long as Hyukjae gives him attention. As long as Hyukjae’s eyes are on him, as long as Hyukjae talks to him, and as long as Hyukjae really enjoys his company.

Yesung was initially unsure about this decision, but the more time passes, the more painful it is to keep his feelings to himself. These days, it feels like Hyukjae is slowly drifting away, somewhere Yesung eventually cannot reach. He can’t explain it well, but perhaps this paranoia is a result of his constant indecision. He feels like, if he doesn’t make a move now, he might lose the opportunity to confess forever.

So, one night, Yesung gathers every bit of his courage and opens the chatroom with Hyukjae on his phone.

 

---

SJ Eunhyuk

🟢 online

---

 

You

hey…

eunhyuk-ah.

SJ Eunhyuk

yesungie-hyung~~~

You

eunhyuk-ah

i have something to tell you.

SJ Eunhyuk

sure

You

uh

well

i’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while

so bear with me a bit

SJ Eunhyuk

hyung

wouldn’t this be faster if you just call me like you always do

You

no!

absolutely not!

i can’t

SJ Eunhyuk

?????????

okay okay

sorry

i was just suggesting :(

You

uh

sorry

i just

this just isn’t something i want to talk to you about over the phone

SJ Eunhyuk

eh? it’s not important then?

You

it’s important

just

ugh

just listen to me, okay

SJ Eunhyuk

all right~~~

You

eunhyuk-ah

ah

hyukjae-ya

i

i like you

SJ Eunhyuk

mmhm?

You

…

SJ Eunhyuk

hm?

You

…

SJ Eunhyuk

yesungie-hyung?

weren’t you gonna tell me something?

You

?

i already did

SJ Eunhyuk

what do you mean?

you didn’t tell me anything

You

but i just told you???

SJ Eunhyuk

you just said you like me

that’s all

You

th

that’s all, you say?

SJ Eunhyuk

응! i already know that you like me a lot as your handsome dongsaeng, so it’s not really news to me

ah!

are you worried that i haven’t been talking to you much lately, hyung?

i’m sorry

i got too busy with d&e album 😅

but don’t worry aesongie-hyung

i still like you!

i’m gonna return as your loving dongsaeng soon if you miss me so much 😙

You

…

forget it

good night

SJ Eunhyuk

aesongie-hyung???

what’s wrong??

ah!

ahahahaha

you’re embarrassed?

don’t worry hyungie! i miss our members too

we’re gonna have a comeback soon, don’t worry!

we can all have fun again together!

can’t wait for it!

good night :D

---

 

Yesung buries his face into a pillow and screams out all his frustration.

He totally forgot that the guy he likes is a total, utterly oblivious idiot!

 

***

 

The second time Yesung tries to confess to Hyukjae, it’s through a letter.

Since the text message approach was an epic fail, Yesung decides to go for Plan B.

A love letter confession.

Feeling inspired, he begins to write down everything that’s in his head.

 

Hyukjae-ya,

I’m writing this to let you know how I feel. To be honest, I’ve never felt this way before. I know that we’ve been more like hyung and dongsaeng who love to tease each other, but over the years, I began feeling something different for you. I don’t know when it started, but maybe it was back in our trainee days. Or maybe it was when we debuted. Or maybe it was a few months or even years after our debut. I don’t know. Is that even important? I don’t know. But what I do know is that there’s been this stirring in my chest, that there’s been something fluttering in my stomach every time I see you. I don’t know what else to explain it. Whenever you come into the room, my eyes would land on you immediately. I would stare at you as discreetly as I could, and wait for you to notice me. Usually you won’t look at me first, but when you notice me it feels like…

(middle content has been cut due to the length which consists of 2000 words of dramatic slow burn confession)

…so yeah, in conclusion, I just want to say that I really, really like you.

 

From,

Your Yesung-hyung

 

Satisfied with his 3-page back-to-back love confession letter, Yesung staples the papers together and inserts them inside an envelope. I’ll give this to him tomorrow, he thinks to himself.

The next day, Yesung clasps his hands together nervously, wondering what kind of response he’s going to get from Hyukjae. After bringing him to an empty room and letting him read the contents, Yesung gnaws on his lower lip nervously, watching Hyukjae’s face as the latter’s expression goes from confused to delighted to boredom to confused and then to delighted once again.

“Yesung-hyung!” he exclaims once he has finally finished reading the — technically — 6-page love letter confession. “This is…!”

Yesung is almost about to tear his hair out from the suspense. “Y—Yes?” he says, gulping nervously.

“This is…!” Hyukjae’s eyes seem to sparkle under the ceiling lights. “Yesung-hyung, I don’t know what to say… I feel so happy!”

Yesung’s face lights up and he beams. “R—Really? Then you…”

“This is the best friendship letter I’ve ever read!” Hyukjae exclaims, tears of joy welling up in his eyes. “I’m so touched! Hyung, you must’ve really missed me! I never knew you wanted to get close to me this much! Okay, we should spend more time together from now on!”

Yesung is stunned into silence.

“By the way, what about the others?” Hyukjae says excitedly. “I’m sure they loved your letters to them, too! Hey, are they as good as mine? They better not, because I really wanna brag about this to Donghae and Kyuhyun!”

Yesung blinks rapidly, barely managing to open his mouth to speak. “Th—The others…? No, I — no! You’re the only one I wrote this f—”

“Oh! That means I’m the first one, then!?” Hyukjae’s smile grows wider, looking clearly pleased with himself. “Hell yeah! I’m gonna brag about this to Donghae! Hah, I’m the first one Yesungie-hyung gave thi—”

“Don’t you dare!” Yesung finally yells, snatching the envelope back from Hyukjae’s hands. “You annoying little—! Never mind!”

He storms out of the room, face red with anger and humiliation, crushing the envelope inside his clenched fist.

Hyukjae, confused, runs after him in alarm. “Eh? Yesung-hyung! Where are you going with my letter?! Come back!”

“Go away! I’m gonna burn this thing at home!”

“Heyy! That’s mine now! You gave it to me!”

“You already read it, what’s the point?!”

“Ahh, Yesung-hyung! What’s wrong with you??”

“No, what’s wrong with you?!”

 

***

 

The third time Yesung tries to confess, he decides that a bit of straightforward approach might be better.

The love letter turned out to be a complete bust. Yesung took the envelope home despite Hyukjae’s protests, threw it into a bin outside, and burned it out of spite. He almost swore to burn away his feelings for Hyukjae as well, but thought better of it last minute.

Instead, it only sparked his competitive side.

Then again, I’ve always known that he’s an idiot, Yesung thinks to himself. I’ll have to do whatever it takes to know about his real feelings for me.

So then he decides to do it forwardly.

Flirt.

Yesung isn’t a stranger to dating, but it’s been a while since his last relationship — which was years ago — so he might be a little rusty… but heck, how hard could it be, right?

Yesung forces a smile, but feels his palms cold and clammy with nervous sweat.

I’ll just have to be smooth… right?

There’s no way he wouldn’t be able to tell that I’m flirting with him… right?

 

***

 

It’s another day of dance practice. After wearing themselves out and calling for a quick break before going home, the members immediately immerse themselves in their own worlds, currently too tired to talk. Yesung’s gaze sweeps around the room until he catches sight of Hyukjae sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the mirror while drinking from a water bottle.

Yesung’s throat goes dry as he approaches the younger, feeling his heart pounding in his chest like the resounding beats of a drum. Swallowing away his nervousness, he takes a seat beside Hyukjae, taking a deep breath to prepare himself.

This is a good opportunity, he thinks as his eyes quickly dart around the room. The members are too far away to listen to us.

He turns his head towards Hyukjae.

The latter senses him somewhat and finishes drinking from his water bottle, placing it beside him afterwards. “Hyungie?” he says, eyes clear and bright despite the sweaty, exhausted look on his face. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing, just that…” Yesung smiles. “You’re looking really handsome today.”

Hyukjae beams. “Thanks! You don’t look too bad either, hyung,” he teases.

Yesung blinks. “I… thanks?”

Maybe I was being too subtle? Yesung wonders, confused. Should I try the moderate option, then?

Gathering up courage, Yesung scoots closer to him, looking at Hyukjae deep in the eyes. “Hyukjae-ya…” he says softly. “Are you a magician?”

Hyukjae blinks. “Huh…? Um, is this a trick question?”

A tic mark forms on Yesung’s temple in annoyance. “Just go with it, you brat.”

Hyukjae still looks confused, but he gives a nod. “Why a magician?” he asks.

Yesung leans closer to him with a smile. “It’s the strangest thing, but every time I look at you… everyone else disappears.”

There’s a beat of silence.

And then Hyukjae laughs.

Yesung stares at him, stunned and anxious.

Hyukjae suddenly leans towards him with a wide smile of his own, his eyes almost twinkling under the ceiling lights. “That’s nice! I wanna hear more!”

Yesung reflexively moves back, blinking rapidly. “Uh… more?” he repeats dumbly.

Hyukjae nods enthusiastically.

Still shocked, Yesung’s mind races back to that Google search he did last night, trying to remember if there were any memorable lines. “Uh… your—your hand,” he fumbles.

Hyukjae looks at him quizzically. “My hand?”

Yesung swallows, but forces a smile on his face. “Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?”

Hyukjae looks surprised for a moment before he bursts out laughing.

Yesung grits his teeth in annoyance. “What the hell is so funny?”

“H—Hyung! This is so cheesy!” Hyukjae says in-between snickers. “You have to find better pick-up lines! You have to impress the girl you like better!”

“Th—The girl I — what are you talking about?”

But Hyukjae continues on as if he hadn’t heard him. “Okay, I’m no expert, hyung, but I have an older sister, so I know about these things better than you do. First of all, I think you should make your gaze a bit ier, and also you should lower your voice a little! Girls like it when—”

“Wha—What the hell are you talking about?!” Yesung says angrily, feeling ticked off this time.

“Yesung-hyung,” Hyukjae says patiently, “you don’t have to be all shy about practicing your pick up lines on me. Don’t worry about it, I promise I won’t tell! I can even help you! I—”

“You idiot!” Yesung’s face turns red in indignation. “I’m not practicing my lines on you!”

“Aiii, Yesung-hyung, I said it’s okay, you don’t have to be embarrassed—”

“You know what, forget it,” Yesung snarls, standing up and storming out of the room, humiliated.

“Yesungie-hyung?! Where are you going?” Hyukjae calls out after him, sounding confused. “Remember! I’m just one call away if you need any help—”

“Shut up!”

 

***

 

The fourth time Yesung tries to confess, he decides to be bolder this time. With an idiot like Hyukjae, he won’t get it unless it’s fed to him directly by a spoon!

There’s no way he won’t be able to tell that I like him once I ask him out on a date! Yesung thinks to himself earnestly with the fires of passion burning in his eyes. This can’t fail! This is going to be the last time I’m making a fool out of myself!

With a deep breath and a competitive aura releasing from his body, Yesung calls Hyukjae on the phone.

“Hyukjae-ya,” Yesung says softly. “Are you free today?”

“No, I have a meeting with the director,” Hyukjae responds. “Why?”

“Good, because we’re — wait, what?”

“I have a meeting today,” Hyukjae repeats patiently.

“I—” Yesung falls silent for a moment. I can’t wait any longer than this or else I’ll chicken out. I need to do this now while I still have the courage to! “Okay, what time will it end?”

“My meeting? Um… maybe late in the evening? Eight at the latest, I guess.”

“All right. I’ll pick you up at the company by that time. You have to wait for me, okay?”

“Huh? Why would you come—”

“Hyukjae-ya, let’s go on a date.”

Yesung swallows as he waits for a response.

“A date? Sure!” Hyukjae says happily. “It’s been a while since I last spent time with you, hyung. I can’t wait!”

“O—Oh… Yeah, okay,” Yesung stammers, perplexed. Is he the only one who’s so nervous about this? Why is Hyukjae talking to him so normally as though they’re simply having a casual conversation with each other? “I’ll go to the company at eight. Wait for me.”

“Okay. See you later, hyung!”

They hang up. Yesung stares at the screen of his phone, wondering what just happened.

Did the idiot not realize it again? He smacks his palm over his forehead in frustration. Fine, then. I’ll have to go all out this time. No more takebacks!

 

***

 

“So, hyung,” Hyukjae begins conversationally, taking a slurp of his beloved ramen noodles. “Why did you ask me to hang out today?”

Yesung scowls. “I didn’t ask you to hang out today. I asked you on a date.”

“Ah, right, a date.” Hyukjae nods innocently. “Is there something you want to talk about?”

“Why would — should there be a reason why I’m taking you on a date?”

“…You’ve got a point.” Hyukjae swallows the food in his mouth and grins brightly. “Thanks for the treat, hyung!”

This idiot still has no clue. Yesung wants so desperately to bang his head on the table, but it might ruin his makeup, so he forces himself to stay calm.

What can I do to make him see me as a man? he wonders pitifully. Why does he still keep seeing me as a hyung?

What can I do to be more romantic?

An idea crosses his head in that instant, but he immediately dismisses it. It’s too soon for that, he scolds himself.

“Oh, by the way, hyung,” Hyukjae says, realization crossing his features. “How did it go with her?”

Yesung turns to him, blinking twice. “Her?”

“The girl you like. Did your pick-up lines work? More importantly, did you improve them first before trying it out?” Hyukjae says, laughing loudly. “Though I’m sure she would’ve loved them anyw—”

Yesung slams a fist on the table, the loud sound startling Hyukjae out of his wits. “No! How many times do I have to tell you that there is no such woman!” he exclaims, an angry scowl forming on his face.

“Oh, then…” A figurative light bulb seems to go off inside Hyukjae’s head. “Is it a ‘he’? So exciting! How did it go with him? Does he like you ba—”

“No!” Yesung slams another fist on the table, causing Hyukjae’s shoulders to jolt in surprise. “You—You’re really… agh…” Yesung rubs his temples with gritted teeth. “You’re such an annoyance… I’m so tired of all this…”

“…Did he reject you?” Hyukjae asks hesitantly.

Yesung sighs. “He isn’t saying it directly, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me back.”

“Huh? But why?!” Hyukjae says in confusion. “But you’re so charming, hyung!”

Yesung feels a slight flutter in his chest despite his situation. Coughing slightly, he says in a quiet voice, “Unfortunately, he’s too oblivious. I can’t get through to him no matter what I do.”

“Oh. That must be hard…” Hyukjae says sympathetically, standing up to go sit beside Yesung. “Don’t worry, hyung! I’ll help you! First!”

He suddenly grabs Yesung’s hand and presses it against his chest. “Take his hand like this, and look him in the eyes,” Hyukjae says softly, staring at Yesung as he does so. “And tell him directly that you like him. He’ll surely see the sincerity in your eyes!”

Yesung swallows, feeling his heart drumming inside his chest. Taking a deep breath, he gazes into Hyukjae’s face.

“I like you.”

“Yeah, like that!” Hyukjae says proudly. “That look is gonna melt his heart. Boy, this is surely gonna be a success!”

Yesung smiles sadly. “I like you, Lee Hyukjae…”

Hyukjae’s smile freezes on his lips.

Leaning forward, Yesung presses a kiss against the younger’s cheek.

Hyukjae stares at him, startled, automatically touching the area where Yesung suddenly kissed him.

Yesung draws back nervously, waiting for the younger’s response.

Hyukjae blushes. “You didn’t have to thank me like this…” he says shyly with a bright smile. “You’re very welcome, Yesung-hyung! I hope your love life will become successful after this!”

Yesung restrains the urge to scream.

 

***

 

The fifth time Yesung decides to confess, he has had enough.

This is the last ing time, Lee Hyukjae! ISTG!

After sending a message to Leeteuk and asking him a favor, Yesung stomps towards the waiting room, finding it as empty as he had hoped it would be. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he sits himself on the sofa, tapping his feet impatiently on the floor as he waits.

Eventually, Hyukjae enters the room, looking confused.

Yesung stands up and approaches him.

“Hyung?” Hyukjae says in confusion. “Are we the only ones here? Where are the others? I thought—”

“I asked Teukie-hyung to leave us alone for a while so that we can talk,” Yesung emphasizes frostily, moving towards the door and locking it.

Hyukjae watches him, surprised. “Wh—What is it?” he stutters out. “Did I do something wrong?”

Yesung turns to him with a fierce look in his eyes and steps forward. Intimidated, Hyukjae takes a step backward reflexively, but Yesung quickly catches up to him and opens his mouth before it’s too late.

“I have something to tell you,” he says.

Hyukjae still looks confused. “Uh, sure, what is i—”

“I love you,” Yesung finally breathes out, heart pounding in his chest. Finally. Finally, he has said it aloud.

Now, Hyukjae will be able to realize his feelings, surely.

There’s a beat of silence between them for a moment before Hyukjae blinks, trying to stifle a chuckle.

“What, was that all?” He giggles, rubbing a hand on the back of his head in mild embarrassment. “Geez. I love you too, hyung. Of course!”

Yesung blinks back, and instead of feeling the happiness bubble in his chest, uncertainty begins to fill his gut. “Y… Yeah…” he manages to say, blinking rapidly this time. “Thanks for letting me know…”

Hyukjae laughs. “I thought it was something important. You were so jittery!” He wraps an arm around Yesung’s shoulder and whips out his phone with his free one. “Hyung, before I forget, let’s go out and eat with the others tonight! Do you want BBQ?”

“B… BBQ…?” Yesung stutters out, feeling like his entire state has frozen in time. “Ah… sure… but…” He stares at the younger who is excitedly searching for good restaurants on his phone. “Hyukjae-ya…”

“Yeah?” Hyukjae hums in response, though his eyes are still glued to his screen.

Yesung gulps. “Do you… really love me…?”

Hyukjae pauses in the middle of scrolling and looks at Yesung with a slightly offended look on his face. “What are you talking about, hyung? Of course I love you. You’re like a big brother to me. No, scratch that. You’re more like my father, actually!” Hyukjae looks sheepish at this as he lowers his head, a light pink shade dusting his cheeks. “You’re the best hyung—”

But Yesung isn’t listening to him anymore. One word. Only one word is echoing through his head now, growing bigger and bigger by the second, filling his mind with a growing panic.

Father.

Father.

Father.

You’re like my father.

You’re like my father.

My father.

Father.

Father.

Father—

“What the f@$#&@$!!???” Yesung suddenly swears, and Hyukjae almost jumps out of his skin in shock. “You… You really… You really didn’t…” Yesung is stammering now, his eyes wild and his hands shaking. He looks like he can’t believe what he just heard.

And rightfully so! What the heck? All those kisses and hugs and flirting these past few years, and even those failed confession attempts — and he was just like a father to him??? This is what all his efforts amounted to???

“You have gotta be ing kidding me,” Yesung curses, shaking his head vehemently.

Hyukjae’s eyes are as wide as saucers. “H—H—Hyung…?? A—Are you okay? D—Did something ha—”

“You idiot!” Yesung finally explodes, his poor heart now having reached the breaking point. No more. No more beating around the bush anymore. This is war! “I love you! I love love you!”

Hyukjae’s expression visibly brightens at that. “I know! I love you too—”

“No!” Yesung interrupts loudly, grabbing Hyukjae by the shoulders, desperate to make the younger realize his true feelings. “I don’t love you like a brother! O—Or a son! Which is bull, by the way! I—”

Suddenly Hyukjae’s eyes tear up and Yesung cuts off his own tirade. “W—What…? Y—You don’t love me…?” he says, sounding shocked.

Yesung blinks. “W—Wait, no, I wasn’t finished. I meant—”

Hyukjae looks like he’s about to cry. “B—But even though you don’t love me, I still love you, hyung. You’re the best brother and father figure I—”

At the mention of that word once again, Yesung goes back into a frenzy. “NO!” he roars, startling Hyukjae out of his wits again. “Don’t you say that word again! Don’t! Don’t ever say it!”

“S—Say what??” Hyukjae looks so confused.

“That I’m like your father!” Yesung bursts out desperately, feeling frustrated. He cannot accept this kind of misunderstanding. No way in hell!! “I am not your father, I am not your older brother! I—”

Hyukjae looks like he’s going to cry again. “Hyung, why—”

This time, Yesung clamps a hand against Hyukjae’s annoying mouth, determined to finish his sentence today. There is no ing way that he is going to get misunderstood again. This time, he will make it very, very clear.

“Listen to me,” Yesung grits out, glaring at Hyukjae with such fiery intensity that the younger immediately quiets down, staring at him with wide eyes. “And let me finish. Will you do that for me?”

Hyukjae nods his head pitifully.

Yesung lets out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “God, finally! Great, now listen to me. Listen to me very clearly, got it?”

Hyukjae nods again, this time a bit frantically.

“All right.” Yesung slowly retracts his hand from Hyukjae’s mouth, taking a breath before saying the words he’d been planning to say this entire time.

“I love you, Lee Hyukjae. Not like a brother, and not like a father.” Yesung locks eyes with Hyukjae’s own, trying to convey every bit of his sincerity towards the younger man. “I love you as a man. I love you romantically. I love you and I want you to be mine. I want you to be my best friend and my future husband. I love you!”

The room falls deathly silent after that. Hyukjae’s expression suddenly turns unreadable.

Meanwhile, Yesung is currently reveling in the success of his verbal confession.

ing finally! It can’t get any clearer than this! he thinks to himself triumphantly, all nervous energy gone for a brief moment.

If he still doesn’t get it after this, I swear, he has to be doing it on purpo—

Wait a minute.

Yesung’s eyes suddenly grow wide in realization.

All this time…

For a startlingly clear moment, Yesung recalls all his previous confession attempts, analyzing them all quickly. He had surely been clear enough, hadn’t he? The text message. The love letter. The flirting. The date! He had clearly expressed that he had feelings for Hyukjae, and yet for some reason, the latter didn’t get it…?

He had kept misunderstanding him which was unlike him at all. It wasn’t possible that someone could misunderstand that much…

Suddenly, a solid feeling of dread drops onto Yesung’s chest like a block of cement.

The next moment, he hears a laugh. Yesung lifts his gaze to see Hyukjae laughing. Laughing at him.

But it isn’t the usual laugh he gave back then. This time, it sounds richer, deeper. Filled with meaning.

“What…?” Yesung stammers out, blinking rapidly. “I… All along, was I…?”

An inexplicable anger rises in his chest at the realization.

And it seems that Hyukjae senses it too, because he laughs even harder.

“Did you figure it out just now…? Haha! I’m sorry for tricking you, hyung.” Hyukjae guffaws again, throwing his head back in laughter. “Really, I am!”

“You er!” Yesung shouts in complete embarrassment, grabbing a pillow from the sofa and throwing it towards the younger’s direction in anger. “You… You unbelievable piece of …!”

“HAHA! Hyung, really, I’m sorry, don’t be mad,” Hyukjae tries to soothe Yesung’s anger but fails in a few seconds as another scratchy laugh emanates from his throat, sending him into a fit of giggles once more.

Yesung kicks him on the leg. “Go away, you bastard! I’m leaving!” he yells, face burning red in absolute mortification as he turns on his heel and attempts to leave the room. God, that Jerry! He should’ve known. He really should’ve known—

Suddenly, a pair of arms encircle his waist from behind, pulling him against a familiar warm chest.

Yesung’s entire body stiffens in response, and he tries not to think about the fact that his heart is currently doing somersaults in his chest. “Let me go, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae’s head peeks out from Yesung’s shoulder as he playfully rests his chin there. “Hyung, you must really think of me as a real idiot, huh? Do you really think anybody would’ve acted the same way I did despite your straightforward approaches?”

Yesung shuts his eyes, feeling mortified as the seconds pass by excruciatingly. “I already know that I’m the real idiot here,” he grits out. “No need to rub it in my face.”

Hyukjae chuckles, his embrace growing tighter and warmer by the minute. “You’re not an idiot at all, hyung. You’re just a clueless, adorable little thing.”

Yesung turns red at his words. “Don’t call me that!”

“But you are!” Hyukjae insists happily. “But anyway, back to the situation at hand…”

“What now?”

“If I let you go right now, will you turn around and face me?”

Yesung holds his breath in surprise.

“Or will you run away?” Hyukjae adds teasingly.

“What the hell are you talking about? Of course I’m not gonna run away.” Yesung sighs, feeling that his fate has been sealed. “I’ve come this far already. I’ll have to see this to the end.”

There’s a moment of silence before Hyukjae draws his head back, and Yesung suddenly misses the warmth of his skin. The younger eventually retracts his arms, but doesn’t make another move.

Yesung just stands there, trying to calm his uncontrollable heartbeat. Why on earth does this feel so nerve-wracking compared to all those embarrassing confession attempts he made these past few days?

“Aesongie-hyung?” Hyukjae’s soft voice drifts into his ears. “Can you turn around and look at me?”

One last time, Yesung swears to himself, swallowing away the nervous lump that forms in his throat. You can make a fool of yourself one last time and get this over with.

With a surge of determination, Yesung turns around.

Hyukjae’s face comes into view, and Yesung immediately regrets his actions.

No words are exchanged between them except for Hyukjae’s piercing stare. The more Yesung looks at him, the more he feels like he’s being in by those eyes. It doesn’t help that Hyukjae’s gaze is wandering as well, traveling up and down Yesung’s body appraisingly.

It makes Yesung feel overly self-conscious, and he doesn’t like it one bit.

Let’s just get this over with and go home. Yesung takes a deep breath. “If you’re gonna reject me, do it bravely. I already know what your answer is going to be.”

The moment the revelation dawned upon him earlier, Yesung had suspected it immediately. For Hyukjae to purposely like this, pretending that he didn’t know and misunderstood, didn’t it mean that he wanted to reject Yesung but didn’t know how to do it without hurting his hyung’s feelings?

If Hyukjae is just going to treat this lightly and draw it out just so he won’t hurt Yesung too much, that kind of action is simply too cruel, no matter if it’s done with good intentions.

Hyukjae looks surprised at this. “You think I’m going to reject you, hyung?”

“What else is it going to be? I know you wouldn’t have intentionally drawn it out for this long if you do have feelings for me,” Yesung says quietly.

“That’s because I—!” Hyukjae suddenly blushes as he remembers something. “I’m sorry, hyung. I just… you really startled me back then. I didn’t know how else to react.”

“Startled you? With what?” Yesung raises an eyebrow, annoyed. “You seemed to be acting so naturally even though I was pouring my heart out to you.”

Hyukjae looks guilty at this as he unconsciously plays with his fingers. “I just panicked, okay? I tried to react normally, thinking that I might’ve misunderstood you or something, but when you still acted sincerely, that was the moment I realized you were being serious. I’m sorry, hyung…”

At the sound of Hyukjae’s meek voice, Yesung’s gaze softens. “Then… why did you blow me off when I texted you that I liked you?”

Hyukjae stares at him nervously. “I was really happy at that time, but… I kept thinking to myself, what if you just meant you liked me as a younger brother? But when you told me to forget it, that was when I realized. But I couldn’t resist teasing you.”

“Then… the love letter?”

“Hyung, seriously? Did you even realize that you talked more about your personal life there for some reason in those 3 back-to-back pages and I only got to read the ‘I like you’ part in the ending?! Of course I had to tease you about it!”

“Shut up! I poured my heart into that letter! What about the flirting, then?”

“Hyung, you were doing your pick-up lines on me in front of the other members. Did you even know that Ryeowook and Kyuhyun noticed and were slowly scooting towards us to eavesdrop on our conversation? Of course I had to quickly change the topic!”

“Well, that’s — never mind! What about the date, then? It was supposed to be the perfect opportunity.”

“Hyung, you can’t just confess to me in public like what you did that day.”

“Why not?!”

“Because!” Hyukjae’s ears turn red as he averts his gaze. “It would’ve been embarrassing.”

“You mean to say… you would’ve been embarrassed? By me confessing my feelings for you?” Yesung says in disbelief.

“No, that’s not what I meant!” Hyukjae huffs. “Hyung, if I accepted your confession that day, I wouldn’t have resisted kissing you, okay?!”

“I see that you’re just tricking me aga — wait, what?”

“Are you seriously going to make me repeat it?” Hyukjae says with a mortified expression on his face. “I said I wouldn’t have resisted kissing you! Geez…” He lifts his hand to touch his own cheek, flustered as he recalls that certain event. “You even made it harder for me to resist when you kissed me here. I swear, your lips that day had never looked so tempting...”

Yesung’s throat goes dry, feeling his heart stop for a second. He doesn’t know what else to say at this point.

Is there anything else he needs to say, though?

Yesung stares at Hyukjae, and it’s only now that he realizes how close they are to each other. How he can simply reach out and easily touch the younger’s face. How he can simply step forward and there would no longer be any empty space between their bodies.

Being this close also makes Yesung realize how small Hyukjae is compared to him; the latter’s gaze is currently averted out of shyness, and the top of his head is level with Yesung’s eyes.

“...Why aren’t you saying anything?” Hyukjae suddenly says, interrupting Yesung’s brief moment of fascination.

Yesung frowns a little in response. “I’m still not going to forgive you for tricking me,” he says tightly.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Hyukjae says meekly, his gaze sincere and apologetic. “Really, I am.”

Yesung folds his arms across his chest. “You’ll have to make it up to me.”

“Y—Yeah, okay… Anything you want me to do, I’ll do it for you.”

“Anything?”

Hyukjae swallows nervously. “Anything.”

“All right, then.” Yesung smiles. “I just want you to answer one question.”

“S—Sure,” Hyukjae stammers, confused. “What do you want to know?”

“Do you accept it?”

“Huh?”

“Do you accept it?” Yesung repeats patiently.

“Accept… what?”

Yesung shakes his head in disbelief. “Idiot. My confession, of course. Didn’t I work hard trying to confess to you five times already?”

“O—Oh! Right.” Hyukjae’s cheeks are flaring red. “I — of course! I really… I really, really like you too, Yesungie-hyung,” he says shyly.

Yesung nods in satisfaction. “Good.”

Then, without warning, he steps forward and reaches out to cradle the sides of Hyukjae’s neck, making the latter tilt his head upwards to meet Yesung’s gaze straight-on.

Hyukjae can’t help but admit to himself that the action has made his heart flutter and drum loudly in his ears.

“Hey, Dongba,” Yesung says affectionately.

“Y… Yeah?” Hyukjae stammers out.

Yesung gives him a mischievous smile. “Your lips seem lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”

Hyukjae stares at him with wide eyes.

Yesung laughs.

And then he kisses him.

I finally got my answer.

 

fin

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