Piece 23Eyes On Me
When she was only 16, she found out that she was pregnant with a one night stand’s child. She couldn’t even remember the man’s face even if she tries to. She was already in the late second trimester when she found out. The bump on her belly was almost invisible – it looked like normal fat. Her mother was the first to notice and as someone who experienced it before, the women already speculated what it is. She was dragged to the clinic by the furious mother and had her head bow down in shame and fright the entire walk – into and out of the clinic.
Her mother was still screaming about how disgusting and a disgrace she is as they walk all the way home. She was already stressed about finding out being pregnant at 16, the woman added humiliation into the mix as people stared at them while the woman was going berserk. That was how the whole town knew she was pregnant at 16.
Her mother didn’t even sympathise with her as she packed her a small bag of clothes and kick her out of the house. She begged on her knees for forgiveness. Her mother was also screaming but all that was muffled by her cries, begging for another chance.
As the door slammed on her face, she didn’t move from her spot in front of it as she waits for her mother’s change of heart. They had a great relationship before – they were literally like best friend. One mistake was all it took to ruin it.
As the sun set and the sky turned orange, her father came home. Worried laced on his face as he saw his daughter laid on the stairs of the porch, eyes looking somewhere far. When her eyes met his figure, she broke down again and pleaded with sobs for forgiveness and for help.
He asked her to stay put in the place as he would go talk to his wife but it was in vain as he came out not 10 minutes later with dejection on his face. He shook his head no and she couldn’t even shed anymore tears as he took her hand and dragged her further and further away from the house.
It was long hours of searching for a place but eventually her father found her one. Her mother has always been a stubborn woman so it might take some times for her to forgive. Therefore, it would be safer for her to stay away from the woman at the mean time. She was already so tired from crying all day, she just nodded okay.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, forgiveness was still far from her reach. She continues to stay at the rented place her father got her. She had to drop out of school and work. Her father does send her money from time to time but it was not enough. They were not well off. They were just getting by with what they had. And now with more bill to pay and a baby coming, more moneys were need.
2 months after turning 17, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy – alone in the labour room. Her father did visit her and some friends from work also helped her by guiding her throug what she needed to do. Fortunately, her baby was a calm one and rarely cry unless he is hungry or needed his nappy change.
Her roommate at the time was kind enough by offering to take care of her baby for her when she goes to work. It was well at first. She thought the girl was really kind. She didn’t even mind when the girl called her baby ‘my son’. Instead, she was happy that another person loved that boy so much.
But things started to get weird. The girl began to act strange. Sometimes the girl wouldn’t even let her carry her own baby or that time when she tried to feed the baby from her .
She doesn’t even produce milk. She wasn’t the one who was pregnant with the baby.
Sensing the weirdness, as soon as she got the chance, she bolted and took her baby away from that creepy girl – moved to another part of the town. She didn’t run away without telling people at all though. She told her father because after all his help, he deserved to know. Also, in case her mother was ready to take her back, even though it has been more than a year since she was kicked out.
Her life completely revolves around her baby and herself – in that order. She worked so hard making sure the boy could have all the happiness he can get.
The boy grew up to be wonderful. He was a little naughty but sweet as well. They only had each other so they are really close. He was her blessing in disguise after all.
“Ma, look at this.” The boy called out.
Hearing his tiny voice, she turned around from her cooking to give the attention her son needed only to be shot with a rubber band right in the middle of her forehead. She gasped in surprised before yelling out, “Seungri” in anger. Not that she ever really be angry at the cute boy but mothers shall be mothers.
She couldn’t spend much time with him as her works piled up more and more, but she was thankful her son found a best friend. That boy, Jiyong, is really a nice boy. The way he took care of her son just like he is his own brother, she is really grateful for him. She could do her work in peace knowing that her son is at home with his best friend, probably thrashing their home. But it’s okay, she thought. As long as her son is safe.
“I found him at the park.” Seungri introduced Jiyong to her out of the blue one day while the bigger boy grinned like a child at her. “Okay bye, hyung. See you tomorrow.” She looked dumbfounded as she watched her son waved Jiyong goodbye and the other boy also waved back before turning to walk home, she presumed. She didn’t get the chance to ask the boy any question. But Seungri would tell her stories about him and Jiyong and how they spent their day every day. So, it was assuring.
She knew children could be a little too naughty and harm others for fun – boys will be boys after all– but Seungri always told her how Jiyong saved him from the mean boys and she thought she doesn’t have to worry much about him being bully. They are just children after all. How bad could they hurt each other, right?
Wrong. She should’ve paid more attention then. Should’ve put him in self-defence class.
When she got off work one evening, Seungri is usually at the park at time like this, so she would cook their dinner while waiting for him to come home. She always told him to come back before the sun is completely set and usually he follows her order and would already be knocking on the door before the sky turns dark.
But that day, it was getting very dark already and it’s almost one hour later than the time he usually arrives home. Getting anxious, she decided to go look for him. She trails the only roads that leads to the park. The park isn’t really that far but it can be quiet the walk. The anxiousness kept increasing as she walks further and further and no sight of kids lingering around – she was already imagining all kind of bad scenario.
Fear couldn’t describe how she felt the moment she found him laying lifeless in a dark alley. She couldn’t think of anything else as she cradled the boy in her arms. He was bruised and bleeding and not breathing.
She pleaded with some passer-by for help but most just looked at her weirdly before walking away. It took the fifth person to call the ambulance.
“Baby, don’t leave mama.” She cried the whole way to the hospital. She couldn’t even let the boy go as the paramedic look over him.
They had to forcefully pull her away from the boy but she didn’t go far as she slumped on her knees in front of the emergency room waiting for anybody to bring her any news. Please don’t leave me, she kept chanting like a prayer because without him, she has nobody.
Hours and hours passed by, a nurse came to give her a cup of wat