PROLOGUE...

"Jeongmin-ah..our relationship..let's end it here." I said with a straight face as he reached out his hands to hug me but then stopped. he froze. his big smile faded away, changed into a shocked look on his face. he stayed like that for several seconds before he started laughing rather awkwardly.

"so funny, cherry-ah. I know you love me so much that you would never want to be apart from me. you cried your hardest when I went to San Fransisco for student exchange, and now you want to break up. yeah~ I believe you, cherry-ah. and I love you so much, too." he said with playful, rather proud look on his face as he ruffled my hair making it messy. that big smile he wore before was on his face again. he reached his hands trying to hug me for the second time as he was distracted before.

"I'm not joking. I mean it." I tried my hardest to control my voice, showing no feeling. I could feel he froze again. he loosened his hug, both hands moved to each of my shoulders. he stared at me deep and long, trying to find a trace of lies in my eyes but no, he found nothing. just a straight look staring back at him. I could see pain started to crept up into his eyes and he showed a rather confused look.

"you are not serious, aren't you?" his voice started to tremble. his eyes started to get watery. "ah!! I know! how could I forgot?! it's April 1st! APRIL'S FOOL!! right?" his pleading voice..his pleading eyes..his everything..it looked like they were trying to find the answer that I could not give.

a drop of tear fell from his eyes as I kept staying still, giving him no answer, giving him no assurance, with a straight look staring straight into his teary eyes. I kept quiet. one thing he didn't know was that I, too, was trying really hard to hold my straight look, to hold my body up straight and not to tremble, and to hold my tears from falling.

I'm just joking! you are right, I love you so much and it would be silly of me to break up with you.

my heart was screaming those words, but I had to hold myself from saying that. "I mean every single word I said." those words were the ones that came out from my mouth instead. he bowed his head, frustrated. his hands still holding onto my shoulders.

"why? did I do something wrong? did I hurt you? what did I do wrong? tell me, so I can make it up to you." he said still with bowed head. his trembling voice..I felt like slapping my face as I heard that trembling and desperate voice came out of his mouth. I stay still, trying my hardest to hold myself from crying or showing any sadness or pain or anything that could make him think that these all were just a joke.

I took a deep breath, collecting all the strength left in me as my heart had taken all the strength to make it strong and not waver from all these that happened. "I don't love you anymore. that's the only reason. I'm bored with you, I'm tired of this relationship, I'm just, I just have enough of you! so, let's just end E-VE-RY-THING here! and let's just forget E-VE-RY-THING that had happened between us." my voice trembled at the last sentence. seriously? I didn't want him to forget E-VE-RY-THING that happened between us when E-VE-RY-THING that happened were all sweet memories even I wanted to treasure even if I'm death! I didn't want him to forget about me. I wanted him to treasure those memories. but I couldn't say that. I couldn't let him stay beside me anymore.

I AM DYING! I HAVE A BIG TUMOR IN MY BRAIN! tell me how could I let him stay with me when I am about to leave him??! ending this relationship is the best way.

I took his hands off my shoulders, held them, then kissed him on the forehead, long. I could feel my eyes became hot as my tears were starting to force a way out. my body was trembling even more, so I let go. "that was a goodbye kiss. just hate me if you want. it's my fault that I hurt you." I said with a rather trembling voice. I turned around to walk away but he grabbed my left hand fast before I could make even one step. I wanted to turn back and hug him tight and said that I didn't mean even a single word I said but I hold still.

"it ends here Jeongmin-ah. I'm sorry I hurt you but just let go." I took his hand off my hand without turning around and walked away as the tears that I had been holding rolled down my cheeks hard like a waterfall.