January 2024

To my dearest,

    Hey, I got to steal a few minutes to write this letter. Alam mo ba, it is mandatory for us to write letters before leaving for the war. Siguro this is my 3rd or 4th time writing. And it was always addressed to you. I hoped you listened to the mixtape before opening this letter. Pero knowing you, I would not worry about that. Karina Yu, my best friend, my love, my popstar. You are everything to me. 

    I made myself believe na I became a Marine because it is what my family does. Somehow, it is true pero the bigger reason for me fighting wars and evil is because of you. I want to make the world a better place for you to live in. I dream of this job because I could protect you and our friends. 

    Is it okay if you pass them my regards? To Yangyang that is always so funny, may he find peace and love, kahit hindi na si Renjun. Kay Haehan, sana hindi na sya madaling magtampo, and sana he really found the one. For Jaemin naman, I think he'll be so afraid to continue what he is doing because of me, pero he'll bounce back. Y'all need to bounce back. Hindi sakin nag-rerevolve ang mundo nyo. I am just one small star in a sea of big ones. Kay Hyunjin at Heejin, sana maging masaya pa sila. I hoped I got to spend more time with their baby. And sana isa ang sulat na ito sa mga napunit ko na dati. Tell Yujin to continue being a good kid ha. She has a good eye sa pagpili ng magiging jowa. And of course, tell the baby of the group, Liz, na she should strive harder. She is the baby, and will always be our baby, don't you agree?

    Special mention kay Minju at Yunjin. May chika ako, actually. Chaewon is planning to propose. And I will be her bridesmaid. Can you imagine that? Sobrang malandi pa naman ni Chaewon pero she is finally settling. Pero sana matuloy, no? Sana, she got to propose and get married before I die. You know you got so jealous of Yunjin. If I am being honest, I really did like to try and know that girl more. She and I are compatible with the things you and I are not. Pero wala e. It's always you, Karina. 

    Alam ko na nasabi ko na ito sa mixtape, and you'll know kung inuna mo sya pakinggan, but take care of my twin sister for me. I promise she'll look out for you too. Ask her for help anytime, and she'll oblige. Because she knows how I feel towards you. She knows how much I love you. 

    Bago kami umalis ni Chaewon, we were playing a game. So, ring ring ring. Hi, this is Captain Winter Kim. I called to let you know that you hurt me, Karina Yu. Loving you hurts and not the good way. Loving you hurts me so ing much that it is hard to breathe. But I am addicted to that feeling. It's hard to leave the feeling behind. 

    I made a resolution. If I come back alive, I will tear this paper into tiny little pieces and confess my love to you. Wala na akong pake kung may jowa ka. Yeonjun is a great guy, but I am much better for you.
So, by all means, I will survive everything and anything, just to kiss you. We have known each other forever, and I have loved you since. After this tour is over, will you welcome me with your arms once more? After this tour, will you sing me the song you wrote for me? Hindi ko pa rin pinapakinggan because you told me you wanted me to hear it live. 

    Karina Yu, please keep the ring I gave you. And if you feel the same way as I do? Break up with your boyfriend and marry me. Pero ang bobo no? You're probably reading this letter because I am dead. And yet, I ask for too much. How could you welcome me with a song and a hug? How could you marry me when I am gone? 

    One of the mistakes I did that I regret the most is not telling you how I feel before I left. So, through this letter, let me tell you. These are lines from a book I've read. 

    I know there may be universes where I have someone else to love. And I break for every version of me who hasn't found you. Because you are the sun of my world, baby. But hey, at least now you know how I feel. 

    I love you so much, Karina. And I am so sorry for not telling these words to you before I die. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning!