"Oh my god. Just tell me how many times she asked you out for a dinner? And movie date?" asked a person from the other side of the call. 

A shy smile can be seen on her face as she walks to her wardrobe and takes out some outfits she will wear for tonight's dinner with her crush. It's been two months? And 30 times of dinner followed by 10 times of movie date.

But...she's not really sure to call it movie dates. Aren't that terms for couples? Which they are not a couple. Does she wish to be a couple? Of course!

She's been crushing over her ever since the volunteer program last year! She remembers the first time they met and she never thought she is able to reach her. 

Well, that is because she's unreachable...How's that?

September 2021,

"Joohyun, could you please move this box to the front desk? Tiffany needs it" said Taeyeon the team leader.

"Sure," said Joohyun as she grab the box full of papers. 

It was her last week volunteering in a health center because apparently, the new semester starts next week. Obviously, she knew that but she never expect that holiday to fly so fast.

She was getting comfortable in the health center as she gets to meet new volunteers just like her who comes in and left just as quickly as they found the center. 

Unlike anybody else, Joohyun was the only person that stays since the beginning of this place's opening a volunteer program. Every body is grateful for Joohyun's loyalty.

Perhaps that is because she have a big heart ever since she was a kid. Joohyun loves helping people. Though working in the health center really takes a lot of energy and is very time-consuming...she's fine with it as long as the patients are happy and able to see them go back home after being hospitalized. 

The reason why there's an opening for volunteers is that the health center has a small workforce. It's hard to keep the place running with a short number of people when it's the time of the year when people gets flu and sick because of the season.

Joohyun who just finished her second semester was hoping to find activities that could fill in her schedule during the holiday. She ended up receiving this volunteering program from her neighbor.

Kim Taeyeon. She's a great doctor with a very humble girlfriend who happens to be the head nurse in the health center, Tiffany Hwang. They both are very good at running the place. 

Both of them didn't leave in Daejeon. They happened to be assigned here for a little while from their hospital to help the health center. It's actually a small clinic in the countryside and it's a coincidence that the volunteering program happened to be in Joohyun's hometown. 

She is able to come home and live with her mom for a while before the new semester starts and did some volunteering activities with her neighbor in Seoul.

Maybe that is the reason why she still stays in the health center doing the volunteering programs. While others only came once and then left. Well, Joohyun couldn't deny...this place really needs a renovation. 

They have minimum health equipment and many older people come by to check their health. Sometimes they have a hard time dealing with older people. A lot of demands we cannot give them. 

But some of them were actually very nice and came by sometimes to give the nurses and doctors there some home-cooked foods which are always good. 

The more you get older, the more you know sometimes you will encounter uncomfortable situations. Although it makes you uncomfortable, you'll still need to deal with it. 

"Here it is! Taeyeon thought you might need this," said Joohyun as she put down the box she was carrying.

"Ah! Thank you! That girl sure knows what I need!" said Tiffany with her relieved face and start taking out papers. 

"Oh, by the way. Have you heard about the new volunteer? She supposes to come today," said Tiffany. 

"Taeyeon didn't tell me anything about the new volunteer," said Joohyun.

"Hmm...maybe she's late? She will replace your position once you go back to Seoul next week."

"Ouch. Replace me? I thought I'm irreplaceable," said Joohyun pretending to be stabbed in the heart. That brings a smile to Tiffany's face.

"Girl, even me and Taeyeon will not stay here forever. You're just lucky to get out of this place sooner than us," said Tiffany giggling.

Joohyun smile. She spends almost four months volunteering in the clinic and she will be lying if she said she won't miss this place. Maybe in the future, she will stop by and say hello to whoever works here in the future.

"I'm definitely going to miss this place," said Joohyun as she takes the time to look around the place. 

"We all do. Once I and Taeyeon are back in Seoul, let's grab dinner at Taeyeon's place. How is that sound?" Joohyun smile lovely and nodded.

"I would love to." 

As she was about to turn around suddenly, she can hear a bell ringing from the front door and Joohyun bet she was not the only person who can smell that citrus scent. 

Joohyun couldn't help but look at the person who just come into the clinic. That person is wearing a black leather jacket, a white shirt beneath it, and black long pants. 

How come that citrus scent came out of her? Very contrast to her appearance, that's what Joohyun thought. Done judging the look, Joohyun starts looking at the person's face not knowing her heart will melt immediately the moment her eyes lay her stare at those beautiful monolid eyes.

Those eyes look around the place and at that exact moment, both of them stare at each other. Joohyun could feel the electricity running in her vein as those eyes stared at her with that cold look.

For a moment, Joohyun is wondering who the hell she is and if she has any problem with her. However, the stare didn't take a long time because Tiffany's voice took her back to reality.

"You must be Seulgi! I was wondering when will you come," said Tiffany with her eye smile. 

"Got stuck in traffic," said the person name Seulgi.

"Well, it doesn't matter now. Seulgi, this is Bae Joohyun. You can call her Joohyun. You're going to replace her since next week Joohyun will no longer work here as a volunteer anymore. From today and forward, Joohyun will be your mentor. She will show you around, though there's nothing much to show and also she will explain your job here. I hope you like it working here," said Tiffany. 

It took time for Joohyun to realize Tiffany was staring at her giving a signal for her to introduce herself to Seulgi. 

Joohyun was deep in her thought because of Seulgi's strong appearance. 

"Ah...sorry. Hi, I'm Joohyun," said Joohyun as she offer her hand for a handshake, and Seulgi responded to it.

"Kang Seulgi." 

A very short introduction and...cold but Joohyun try her best to ignore it. After all, maybe Seulgi is nervous since today is her first day. 

"Alright, follow me"

Though she was her mentor for several days in her last week of working there, they never get the time to actually make a casual conversation. 

Seulgi would only talk with her regarding work. Other than that...nothing. She was deep in her own work with silence. It only made Joohyun feel Seulgi created a wall between them. 

However, in some situations, Joohyun was able to learn more about Seulgi though from far away. Sometimes, Joohyun found her in one of the patient wards, drawing. 

Can't really see what she was drawing but she bet Seulgi is a talented young artist. Not only that, but Seulgi was also a very nice co-worker. She was so fast at handling things and she treat every patient warmly.

However, it's different when she talks with all of us. Seulgi tends to be mysterious. She didn't talk much with them very much different in how she treated the patients.

That's why until Joohyun's last day, she never gets the chance to know Seulgi's phone number. Joohyun was curious though...Damn curious about Kang Seulgi. 

But she needs to keep it to herself. 

One month passed after her last day at the clinic. She was walking back to her home in Seoul when she got attracted to one of the manga stores near her neighborhood. 

She was walking around the store when suddenly she bumped into someone with a familiar citrus scent. It was Kang Seulgi. Still dressed in all black and those monolid eyes never stop amazed her. 

They spoke one to two words at the beginning. Then it becomes two sentences and more and more. Until Joohyun managed to get Seulgi's number and get to know more about Seulgi. 

Ever since then, Seulgi keeps asking her out for dinner and watching movies together. 

"I guess around 30th dinner?"

"In two months? Gosh! That girl really hitting on you, Hyun!"

Talking about that...

"We haven't really...talk about that," said Joohyun unsure whether she should tell her best friend about this or not.

"What?! Are you kidding me?"

"Jennie. This is not The United States, okay? You don't get to with everyone the first time you meet"

"I know! But it's been two months! I think that is enough for both of you to start talking about your relationship! If I were you, I don't like being in an uncertain relationship for so long. It's a waste of time"

"Jennie"

"Look. I love you as much as I love my mom. Now, I want you to discuss this with her at dinner, today! Or I will"

"Gosh. You sound like your mom"

"Just do what I say, Hyun. This is for your own sake" 

To be honest, Joohyun has been wondering at herself actually. Does Seulgi share the same feeling as her? Well, going back to their previous date...Seulgi kind of gives her signals...you know.

The kind of signals that tells you they want you(?)

February 14, 2022

It was valentine's day and they went out for a quick dinner before watching a movie. Seulgi picked her up at her place and drove to a Japanese restaurant near the cinema.

"I found this restaurant on SNS and it's quite famous!" said Seulgi excitedly.

"You're not the typical person who is active on SNS," said Joohyun suspiciously.

"Hmm...sometimes I'm active, sometimes I'm not. It doesn't matter," said Seulgi shrugging it off. 

Joohyun just smiled. 

Seulgi parked her car and both of them walked together to the restaurant. It wasn't a fancy Japanese restaurant. It's more decent and you can feel the traditional vibe of Japan from the decoration. 

Which beautiful actually. Joohyun has been wanting to go to Japan. She adores that place as much as she adores her own country, South Korea. But maybe it's not the time, yet.

The waitress leads them to their seat and they order their favorite foods which are sashimi, gyoza, ramen, and mochi. 

"How come every time we went to a Japanese restaurant, we always ordered the same menu?" asked Joohyun wondering.

"I don't know. Maybe because we are comfortable with what we like," said Seulgi with a smile on her face obviously making Joohyun blush. Her face is as red as a tomato and she tried to hide her face by looking elsewhere.

Seulgi just chuckled.

"You're cute when you're blushing. Don't hide it," said Seulgi.

"Stop it," said Joohyun. 

Then their food came and they start eating. Sometimes they exchange conversations about Joohyun's university life, Seulgi's art project, and many more.

Joohyun felt so damn comfortable just being with her. Especially on a very special day like this. 

After they finished eating, they decided to walk to the cinema since it's not far away from where they parked the car. Though they went out several times before, never once did they hold hands.

They were just walking side by side, trying to match their pace and that's it.

Seulgi never made the first move nor did Joohyun. Why? Honestly, they don't know. Maybe they aren't comfortable with that? Not so sure. Even in the cinema, they are just like friends.

Watched the movie together and then laughed along with the character. Then by the end of the day, they would discuss again the storyline and just spend time together in Seulgi's car before they parted away. 

However, today will be different. Instead of going home, Seulgi invited her to the Han river for a quick picnic. Seulgi even bought her a bouquet of flowers. 

Joohyun didn't expect that and she was smiling all the way to Han river. Valentine's day with Seulgi will always be memorable for her. 

"You don't have to buy me flowers, Seulgi," said Joohyun.

"I want to," said Seulgi.

"Thank you. It's beautiful," said Joohyun.

"Just like you."

That kind of compliment...something that Joohyun could never expect coming out from Seulgi's mouth. It makes Joohyun wonder if Seulgi likes her just like she like her too.

Like always, Seulgi picked her up at her apartment and the bear-looking girl looks beautiful as always. Dressed in a casual manner with just a long sleeve t-shirt with a white shirt beneath it and jeans. 

"Evening," said Seulgi with a smile on her face.

"Hi. You look beautiful today," said Joohyun.

"Not as beautiful as you." 

Joohyun couldn't help but blush upon hearing the compliment from Seulgi. 

"So, where are we going to eat?" Asked Joohyun.

"Hmm...last week we ate Korean food. Let's travel across the continent, shall we?" said Seulgi.

"Where is it this time? France?" Asked Joohyun.

"As you say so," said Seulgi excitedly as she add more speed to her car. 

Joohyun giggled. 

It's been always like this. Seulgi is so childish and Joohyun...just a shy girl who is madly in love with the person sitting next to her. With Seulgi, she felt so safe, comfortable, and loved. 

However, maybe it's time they discuss their relationship. Maybe this is the time to talk about it just like how Jennie told her earlier. 

The ride was silent. Only music can be heard inside the car. Joohyun is in deep thought. Thinking about how she should start the conversation. 

Meanwhile, Seulgi... just enjoy Joohyun's company. Like she always did. 

"My lady," said Seulgi as she offer a hand to Joohyun to help her get out of the car. Seulgi decided to valet parking. Joohyun kindly took that offer and followed Seulgi's lead to the restaurant without holding hands. 

"A reservation for Kang Seulgi," said Seulgi confidently to the waitress at the front desk. 

"Please come this way, miss," said the waitress. 

Seulgi has always been very gentle with Joohyun. She let Joohyun walk first. Seulgi treated Joohyun like a princess and who would not want that kind of treatment? 

No wonder Joohyun fell in love with Kang Seulgi. She's charming, gentle, kind, and sweet. 

Once they finally arrive at their table, Seulgi helps Joohyun with her seat before she seat across her with those beautiful and charming smiles of her.

Joohyun couldn't help but to blush and smile shyly. They order their food before start exchanging conversations. Mainly about their activities for this week.

"The project is almost done, actually. We're going to have the grand opening in June," said Seulgi.

"For how long?"

"Maybe a week? After that, I will start with a class with a small number of students"

"Sounds amazing," said Joohyun.

"Yes," said Seulgi confidently.

Then their foods arrive. 

When Seulgi said they are going to eat at a France restaurant, what she meant by that is a fancy France restaurant. The amazing architecture of the building can be seen clearly with your eyes.

Joohyun couldn't help but be amazed at the design of this restaurant. She felt like she was actually in France. Joohyun couldn't be more thankful for that.

However, it is time to actually talk about their relationship. 

As they are enjoying their food, Joohyun thinks hard about how she should start the conversation. This is her first time actually. To be close with someone else and interested in someone.

That explains how awkward she was the first time Seulgi asked her out. 

"You always have that serious face when you're thinking about something," said Seulgi as she pointed to Joohyun's nose.

Guess she's not good at hiding her feelings and thoughts.

"What is it?" Asked Seulgi as she put down her cutlery. Giving her attention full to Joohyun only. Which only makes Joohyun nervous. Honestly, she has a bad feeling about this.

"It's about us," said Joohyun.

"What about us?" Asked Seulgi curiously but cannot hide the defensive mode.

"I want to know...what is your thought about us, Seul," said Joohyun.

For a while, both of them remain silent. Joohyun didn't like this situation. She has a bad feeling about this. Moreover, she cannot read Seulgi's face. 

She didn't give any clues to her face. All she did was...sit across her in silence and her eyes looks empty. Joohyun cannot lie this situation makes her nervous as hell.

Yes. She's scared definitely. 

"Joohyun," called Seulgi. Her eyes stared at Joohyun directly. 

"Do I like your company? Yes. Am I interested in you? Yes. Do I want to be in a relationship with you?" 

At this exact moment, Joohyun was wrong. She didn't prepare herself for this situation. The next thing, she could only hope all of this is just a dream.

"No. I'm not the kind of person who would like to be in a committed relationship, Joohyun. I like what we have right now and I would really love it if we stay as friends," said Seulgi.

There is no hesitation in her eyes. She was being clear and she made up her mind. 

For two months...they went out together just like how couples do. Only to be thought as a friend. Friends...

"Joohyun" 

Suddenly, she feels hard to breathe. Like the air suddenly being away from her lungs. She needs to get out right now. Being in this room makes her feel suffocated. 

"I-I need to go," said Joohyun without asking permission from Seulgi. Well...she doesn't need to.

As she walks away from their table, she bumped some person on her way out. Didn't really care who she bumped into. She needs to get out of this place right away. 

All her surrounding feels like moving around. Making her unable to walk properly. She almost fell until someone hold her.

"Joohyun," said that person.

That voice is very familiar to Joohyun. A voice she wants to avoid and run away from. Gently, Joohyun shoves away her hands off her and takes a breath.

"You okay?" asked Seulgi.

Joohyun doesn't know if she is able to speak cause she felt like the moment she talks, she won't be able to deliver her message properly. Her voice will crumble...crack...because right now she's in tears. 

Her world has crumbled because of the person she loves the most. All those memories she had with her...it felt empty...

"I-I...I don't think we should meet again, Seul" 

Seulgi sigh. Disappointed. 

"Joohyun, I-"

"I wasted two months for nothing...I thought we could be more than just friends"

Tears start falling down her cheek. Her eyes are red and Seulgi can see the pain she caused by the look on Joohyun's face. It does affect her. Her heart sank and crack into pieces.

Today was to be a great night like it always did. But...a storm came and made a girl run away and that storm is none other than herself, Kang Seulgi.

"I'm sorry, Hyun," said Seulgi.

"Why? Why can't we be together, Seul? Tell me," asked Joohyun begging. 

Seulgi wishes she has reasons but it was just her. It is just her own commitment that she made a long time ago. That she promised herself to not be in a relationship.

Too many commitments that she thinks she might not able to take it. Yes. She is definitely a piece of bad news. Such a ed up person.

"I'm sorry, Hyun. It's just me...I made that promise to myself," said Seulgi.

Joohyun wanted all of this to be a dream. Just a dream she hopes she will soon awake.  At the same time, she cannot believe this is a dream because the dream she encountered was all about her and Seulgi being a sweet couple.

So...this is what people call heartbreak. It does painful...stings like a bee. 

"In my dreams...you love me. You...hugged me to sleep. You...introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend. You...(sigh) I-I should go," said Joohyun.

"Wait, Joohyun."

"Stay away from me," said Joohyun defensively and this is the very first time she ever did that to Seulgi. Her eyes stared at her terrified. As if she saw an alien. 

Seulgi knew...she just lost Joohyun and her heart... broken into pieces.

"I'm sorry, Hyun. I'm sorry for not being able to give you what you want from me. I'm sorry I can't give you that. If only you knew how hard it is to be in a relationship...The amount of commitment you have...I...don't think I'm able to give you that, Hyun. I'm sorry...for being not enough for you"

"In my dreams...you love me back. In my dreams, we are a couple...In my dreams...you are the best girlfriend I ever had. How can reality be so...cruel...? Then I wish to stay in my dreams if that is the only place I could walk around hand in hand, showing off to the world that I am your girlfriend"