"I'm sorry!”

 

It was the worst feeling. Wendy hated that. Actually, it is a situation everyone hoped they could avoid. Rejection makes you feel like crap. It can impact us mentally, physically, and even spiritually. Feelings of rejection are painful endure. And all the petite woman can do is bowing in ninety degrees as feelings of frustation take over her heart. In these moments, she just can't dare to look up. With eyes shut tight, she apologized sincerely for breaking another heart. 

 

"I can't reciprocate your feelings... I hope you find someone worthy of you!” 

 

"It's fine...thank you for your honest answer.”

 

Hearing the shaking voice, Wendy became extremely apologetic and very remorseful. She thought about comforting her but the latter already ran away.

 

"Wait!”

 

Her tone slowly faltered along the sound of the closing door leaving her now alone with her afflictions. With a tight feeling in and depressing net of guilt, she took a deep breath as the wind howled about the building. Despite her easygoing and cheerful nature, Wendy feels like she is also really unconsistent and indecisive. It’s impossible to make her commit to something. And she hates hurting or deceiving people.  But she can only blame herself because she's too chameleon when it comes to relationships. It can be hard to distinguish what it is that she wants because she tends to very spontaneously and naturally soak in the needs and wants of anyone. That's how she gets along with literally anyone, by fitting herself into their personality. 

She feels now awful. Did she give mixed signals without realizing? 

 

"Why do you look like you are about to cry.”

 

The nonchalent tone coming out nowhere made Wendy jumped franctically. And when she tried to look for the source of voice, her eyes landed on petite figure . The sunlight slowly reflected her face and her peripheral got clearer. The mysterious girl was sitting peacefully at the top of the door's stone block as she was looking  intensely at Wendy. And that brought sensation to her core. The girl was breathtaking. She was pretty, in a delicate sort of way,  there was something earthy about her.

 

How come Wendy had never seen her in school? Even if her memory was not the best, she just doesn't think she'd ever forgotten such a pretty girl.

 

The raven girl stood up, fixing the unexistent folds on her uniform.

 

"In the end, mustering the courage to confess is up to the people concerned. You don't have to feel bad about it if you can't reciprocate.” 

 

Wendy was too preoccupied by her own toughts that she didn't really pay attention to what the girl was saying. How a dwarf-like her could even get up there? Is it a red bean ice cream she's eating? And is she aware that they are at 20 meters high? The rooftop was basically a platform only surrounded by a balustrade. But where the beautiful girl was standing, it has no barriers protection.  A glance over the unprotected ledge was enough to scare Wendy foolhardy. In panic, she rushed over her. The woman was standing way too close to the ledge of the bloc's door.

 

"Yah! Get down from there, it's dangerous.”

 

"But it's nice up here.” She replies softly, her eyes are steady to the horizon, lost in the breeze caressing her face. "Up here, it's like looking down at the world. You can see the trees, the flowers, the buildings and the many people going on about the day. Most of all you're closest to the sky and it distracts your mind for a while.” Then a small smile slightly lifts in the corner of and she looked at the sky. "You should try it whenever you feel sad.”

 

A frown creased her brow and involuntarily, Wendy's eyes were now also contemplating the sunset. She wondered why she can't give herself to anyone...There must be something wrong with her. Because despite the warmness in her, why is her heart so cold?

 

The wind came rushing and silence engulfed them for a while before the pretty girl threw her red bean ice cream stick in the air, jumping down on the flat platform, getting closer to Wendy before she realized it.

 

"I've never seen someone this guilty over a confession and you're not even the one who confessed. It's pretty weird if you tell me." she lets out a slightly irreverent laughter like she was dismissing completely Wendy's melocholic mood.  "Shouldn't it be the other way?"

 

The guilt sat in Wendy's chest once again. She bit her upper lip in frustration preferring to not answer to that.

 

“Is it because she cried?”

 

"She cried?!” Wendy blurted out, surprise all over the face.

 

The girl nodded in response and Wendy lowered her gaze, regret clouding her features. Of course, she cried. How can you not when you just got rejected?

 

"I didn't mean to make her cry....” Wendy murmurs before lazily putting her arms on the metal balustrade. Her sad expression became more prominent as it was illuminated by the deliberate aglow of the last orange rays.

 

"It can't be helped, if there's nothing you can do, then there's nothing else you can do." the stranger says before moving beside Wendy. Their elbows slightly touched causing the guilty girl to distract her gaze from the view aside at the woman next to her instead.

 

"Do you think that pitying her will make her feel better? The more you care for her, the more she'll have a hard time getting over you, you know that right?"

 

Wendy was slightly abashed at her forwardness but lingered at those blunt but truthful words. She didn't want to pity anyone, just show compassion. Is it a bad thing? Discouraged, Wendy turned away and set her eyes anywhere but the woman.  

 

"I-It's just...the look in her eyes..." Her grip tightens, her fingers feeling the cold of the metal bar. "It's times like this that I wish I could come up with an appropriate response." She sighs and all of sudden, a rush of frustration came over her about not being able to vent her feelings in an acceptable manner. "I hate myself for not being able to reply properly." Wendy glances back at the outsider, not even hiding her disappointment "I just feel the worst, you know? Why won't human emotions, not even my own, work out the way I want?"

 

She wondered if she said something she shouldn't have because the girl turned silent for a few seconds. She looked caught off guard. Did Wendy share her heart too much?  Next thing she knew, soft lips were pressed on hers. Wendy's face washed blank with confusion, her mind hyperventilating to take in the information from her wide eyes. It was a short gentle kiss but it was enough to make her go loopy. Every muscle of her body just halted when she pulled away.

 

What the heck just happened?

 

"As expected." The extremely questionable girl who just kissed her muttered with a deadpan expression like it was completely normal what she just did few seconds ago. Ignoring the non sense that just came out from , Wendy touched her lips, flustered obviously by the sudden bold move like any decent person would.

 

"W-wh-what's wrong with you!”

 

"I  heard echos that women lips are softer. This hypothesis is really true." She touches her lips which were part in a half-smile. "It felt nice."

 

Wendy never judges people. Everyone is different and that's what makes life much interesting. But...what the hell is wrong with her?!

 

"Y-y-you can't kiss randomly people like that!” 

 

She tilted her head innocently and had the audacity to add. "Why are you blushing?”

 

"Because you just kissed me out of nowhere!” Wendy snapped but the girl in front of her remained composed, still oblivious of her not appropriate action. Wendy ruffled her hair in distress at the situation, 

 

"Damn it...you just stole my first kiss.”

 

"First kiss? Was it supposed to be something special?”

 

Wendy scoffed at her indifference,

 

 "Yeah of course! The first one should be with someone you love!”

 

"Love again..." the girl trails off desperately, "Heard a lot of echoes about love but it's the only thing I can't figure out.” Then her face settles with a thoughtful expression "Tell me... how love is supposed to make you feel?"

 

Wendy shook her head in amusement before taking an enthusiastic voice, posing like a superhero who was about to dictate a life lesson.

 

"What is love? Love is not just a feeling, it's an action, a manifestation of emotion, a choice, a moment of faith where we decide, with all of ourselves, to be with and for that person no matter what. Love is so many things, it's colorful and it's all about-”

 

"You never experienced it, right” she cut her off with a blank expression and Wendy grimaced at the true statement.

 

"They say that the more inexperienced you are, the more you want to show off."

 

Wendy tried to keep her voice reasonable, but it came out as a high pitch wail. "You are rude! You know that?!”

 

"I've been told" she shrugs impassively, not affected by Wendy's words. "But if they don't know me personally, I don't take it personally. Therefore, you don't know me so your opinion does not matter to me.”

 

Wendy was fuming inside. What's with that girl?!

 

Before she could fire back, the approaching sound of heels made Wendy squealed in fear instead. Whoever is coming up the stairs was certainly not a student since the rooftop is a forbidden place. 

 

"Someone is coming! What should we do?”

 

Wendy was an honorable student with perfect academic records, this will not do. The beautiful--weird girl tugged her wrist and dragged her behind the little space between the block's wall and the balustrade so they can stay out of any sight. Wendy's back hit against the wall and the girl pressed her body awfully close to her so they could actually fit in the tiny hidden place.

 

So close.

 

Wendy pulled herself back against the wall the furthest she can, to the point she can hopefully be transported in another dimension as she found the proximity uncalled for. She could even inhale the sweet lavender scent making her hard to breathe. And it did not help when that brat put her head on her chest causing Wendy to freak out.

 

"What are you doing?!” She screamed whisper

 

"Your heart is pacing abnormally fast.”

 

Wendy's breath hitched when their eyes met, their face now a few centimeters apart. 

 

Um...did her heart just skip a beat? And why does that girl have to blink and bat her naturally and soft looking eyelashes like that? 

 

Wendy could tell that she was pretty but god she didn't know that up close... it was another story. Until now, no one can compete with her beauty. As cheesy as it sounds, Wendy even admits that she must be the prettiest girl she has ever seen in her whole life. High delicate cheekbones, high sculpted nose bridge, smooth skin, doe-eyes like...Her face was genuinely sweet and innocent. 

Wow, how appearance can be trickful.

 

Wendy did not recall when she has been unconsciously staring at her meek pink lips. It took time to connect her neurons and after realization, she let out an acute sound. Hurriedly, Wendy pushed herself back again, closing her eyes trying to hush these unflagging thoughts.

 

"Personal space! Personal space! Did you have the echoes about personal space as well?!” The whine out came out more as a plead doing her best to not raise her voice. "If you didn't, then let me tell you... respect people's space and don't get that close!”

 

"Why not?”

 

"What do you mean?! Why not?!” Feeling irritated by her dense behavior, her tone jumped an octave higher “We don't know each other do you even understand-”

 

The girl slammed her lips to hers and nearly knocked out the poor hamster. Again.

 

"It's the only way to make you shut up... do you really want us to get caught?” she merely stated before taking a peek behind the wall

 

"This is not the way how you shut someone up!!!!” Wendy half yelled, her face red like a tomato.

 

"But it works with you...”

 

"I-” Wendy stopped abruptly as their eyes met again. It is so not her to act like that... She cleared , getting a grip of herself as she also remembered that she needed to be quiet. “Whatever.”

 

The girl stifled a laugh because Wendy has some funny expressions. After a few minutes of waiting, the door closed and the sounds of heels were now far away.

 

"Did she left? " Wendy uttered softly. The other girl didn't reply but just stared at Wendy. A faint blush crept on Wendy's cheek and she tried to dismiss it but the stutter gave her flustered self away. It's scary the effect this stranger has on her.

 

"W-w-what?”

 

"Do this love thing with me.”

 

What now?!

 

(...)

 

"That girl must be crazy, seriously...”

 

Wendy rushed to her next class, feeling kind of grumpy today. The encounter yesterday left her perplexed and agitated most of all. It was strange because Wendy never beheld her at school and out of nowhere she spawned at every corner she goes to. Wendy isn't the type to be judgemental but this girl is synonymous with trouble and that's the least she wants. So, Wendy wanted to stay the hell away from her after the crazy, not even mentioning haywire confession. 

 

Wendy entered her classroom and plumped herself at her desk waiting for the teacher to come.

 

"You look tired today.” Her best friend--Seulgi said with a faint smile before taking the seat beside her.

 

"I didn't get enough sleep last night.”

 

Wendy did not tell anyone about the recent events. She just thinks it wasn't worth mentioning. It's not like she's going to talk to her again anyway.

 

"Oh... what does it mean?" A cheeky smile drew in her bear looking friend's face and Wendy didn't like where this is going "Someone in your mind?"

 

"No!” Wendy exclaimed imediately more out of distress than actual surprise and the tone startled her friend.

 

Seulgi blinked furiously and scrunched her eyebrows in confusion, "Jeez,I was kidding,"

 

Wendy didn't know why but she felt tense, the kiss replayed in her mind...  She sure wasn't passive on this matter. The kiss. Her first kiss... Her thoughts rise and beat up like birds against the wind by reminiscing the sensation of having those warm lips on hers. She couldn't control her blush then; she couldn't contain the flush that rose in her cheeks and that had edged Seulgi in some way.

 

 With pursed but slightly open and loose, she asked with bafflement. “Don't tell me you do have someone in mind for real?!”

 

For a few moments there was an awkward silence as they probably caught the attention of the whole classs after that Seulgi just shouted like she was in a demonstration. Why does she have to be so loud?

 

"No, I don't.  And please tone down a little bit!”  Wendy quickly and fearfully hissed

 

"Why aren't you denying it then?” Seulgi crossed her arms, her eyes fixed on her best friend trying to intimidate her in any way.  Wendy scoffed lightly. Who's she trying to intimidate with that look? Puppies?  Although, Seulgi seemed to have no time joking around as she tapped her foot impatiently. 

 

Consumed by a feeling of complete hopelessness, Wendy sighed, "Look, I'm telling you the truth. I really don't-”

 

"Son Seungwan.”

 

The soft voice disquieted the end of her sentence. The duo heavily stir at the direction of the melodic  voice in unison.

 

"Huh?”

 

It was the only sound Seulgi could mutter. Her eyes were now nearly popping out, agape like a fish while Wendy's face was rigid with tension at the sight of this girl again.

 

. She can't find an escape now.

 

"You actually do have someone already! And someone that pretty... how can you hide it from me!” Seulgi grabbed Wendy's collar before shaking the hell out of her. The bear looking can only jumped to the conclusion that someone who knows Wendy's real name can only be something mad serious.

 

“Seulgi, calm down! I honestly don't know her!”

 

"So, who the hell is that?! And don't tell me it's your secret sister or something!” Wendy eye-rolled and desperately tried to get out from her grip and she can feel feel a huge amount of panic coming up. This occasional situation can willfully misinterpret her because not only the raven girl but also Seulgi conspired to not make things easier for her.

 

"What do you mean you don't know me? It's me Irene, we talked yesterday in the school rooftop.” 

 

"What?!"

 

Holy . Seulgi never thought Wendy would sneak out like that and in forbidden place? I-i-is it a silent and secret escapade? What happened to her pure and no delinquant bestfriend?

 

Wendy is desperate for help and wished the teacher would just come and start class soon before Irene can say anything. What comes out from is frequentely nerve wracking and disturbing. Wendy knows that. Unfortunately, the frantic rescue can long be forgotten when what she dreaded eventually lashed.

 

“About this love thing...”

 

Wendy's heart dropped and Seulgi's eyes were as immobile as the rest of her face as if news like that was impossible to absorb any faster. “L-l-l-love thing? Wh-what d-does she mean?”

 

The whole class gasped. Wendy looked around nervously in panic and hurried on, "You guys are misunderstanding!”  She turned hastily towards the culprit of the overwhelming emotions submerging in her mind.  "Hey stop talking non sense!”

 

"It's not that scary, I'll be nice ok? It's okay if you're not ready right now. I'm not upset.”

 

Silence followed and everyone had their mouths agape, stunned by what Irene had just said including Wendy herself. Seulgi's soul flew away, it was too much to bear for her innocent self.

 

Wendy's head began to spin and she instantly dragged Irene out, something she should have done way before. And they were now in the empty music classroom.

 

"Why did you bring me here? Is everything alright?” she asked with an oblivious tone which made Wendy even more irritated than ever.

 

"NO! What do you think you're saying!”

 

The raise of voice made her flinch and blinked excessively. Wendy felt bad at the instant albeit the girl seemed to dismiss it quickly like it was no big deal

 

"I was talking about my love experience.” She uttered in this deadpan voice, as if this was inescapable logic that justified everything.

 

Wendy let out a loud frustrated sigh, "I'm begging you. Establish the context before you start talking... You can not say such things too lightly”

 

"Such things? I was being serious, let's do this love thing. ”

 

Wendy looked at her for a moment thinking that she might be joking but with the way Irene speaks slowly, deliberately and measured might contradict this statement. That girl was deadly serious. 

 

"So, did you think about it?”

 

 

Wendy folded her arms, looking condensed. "This is crazy. What's even your goal by doing that?”

 

 

"I told you, it's for my experience."

 

 

"Do you have any idea of what you're even saying?”

 

 

"Yes. You might be my 77th person.”

 

 

Wendy's face contorted into a grimace, brutally lost at her words, "What in... that's how many people you harass for this?”

 

 

She gave a single shake of her head and knitted her brow.“ I never harassed them. You're the first person who I genuinely asked. "

 

 

"How flattering."

 

Irene ignored the comment and just continued. "Men just confessed to me and I accepted just for the sake of my experience. But it never lasted that long because somehow reality never matches my expectations. Now that I think about it, the gender was probably the problem. I can't see myself  emotionally attracted to men. ”

 

"You really have no shame... do you?" Wendy gritted through her teeth, "How can you even talk about people like that? People are not your objects. Is it a game to you?”

 

 "It's not a game. Just see it as to enhance our personal cultural knowledge about love. “

 

"People have feelings and you can't just play around with people's heart like that!”

 

"Others failed to make me feel anything... saying that they're in love with me in a span of such a short time... do you think they really did?”

 

"How would I know?!”

 

This is just sickening Wendy and there's a real sense of disbelief in her tone.

 

"You know Wendy,  " she stepped closer, "genereally men are so impatient and ruthless when it comes to pretty women, claming all these things they would do for you just because they're bewitched by your appearance."

 

“So, you really were playing with them!"

 

"Believe it or not, I was straight in the beginning about the whole experience thing. Look now, am i not discussing it with you?"

 

Wendy frowned at that. Did anyone really go along with her suggestion? How can they stay perpetually knowing that she is playing with them? Okay, attraction is based on instinct; it is not uncommon for them to desire her based on her external beauty. Irene is indeed really stunning.  However it doesn't condemn the fact that what she was doing was right, it was selfish and manipulative.

 

"Why should I be the one to blame if I don't feel the same? I’m only responsible for what I say not for what they understand…” 

 

Her eyes peered at her longingly and somehow Wendy could catch a hint of sadness in them. 

 

"All they did was saying i'm pretty. Conversations were boring and it was tiring. There were no sparks whatsoever like people would described it when it comes to love.”

 

"At least they're honest with you. Why are you blaming them for always calling you pretty? It is supposed to be flattering, Irene."

 

"I know I walk through life, every day, capturing the attention of strangers solely based off of my outside physical characteristics but as much as I respect the compliments, don't you think i'm am deeper than an image?"

 

Wendy stood there, frozen. It's true that being born with a more symetrical and much more beautiful face than others has its implications. Everyone sees differently with the eyes but of course, the beauty that also comes from within is important. Maybe Irene truly wanted to find the person who would be genuinely interested in her and not only for her externe beauty. So, somehow she understands her.

 

There was an awkward silence before Wendy decided to speak again.

 

“Just don't make the guy that loved you look stupid, just don't. You made it sound like it is harmless. Maybe they really wanted to know you sincerely. "

 

In a few moments, Irene's eyes widened and a little smile passed her lips, “Why are you even mad? Are you scared of falling in love with me too?” 

 

With a faint blush creeping on her cheek, Wendy instantly retorted  "L-L-like I would ever fell for someone like you!”  Her words rang throughout the room, unpleasantly harsh and cruel. At this instant, Wendy felt horrible for saying such a mean remark. She did not want Irene to misinterpret it like she wasn't worthy of love or something. Wendy opened , wanted to say something and apologize but when she caught an unmoved expression from the other girl that didn't show any sign of resentfulness towards the comment, she stopped.

 

Does she have any emotion?

 

"Then what's stopping you? I don't see the big deal and why you're hesitating then.” Irene half-smiled "So?”

 

"How could I possibly refuse?" Wendy batted her eyelashes with a forced smile, "No thank you. Now, I have to go back to class now”
 

Wendy felt a pull on her wrist before she can leave, Irene doesn't seem to give up.

 

"So, you're really not interested?”

 

For once, her eyes held a different kind of sensation. There was something solemn swimming inside. Her stunning and deep brown eyes held something that her face could not hide. There was this despairing chill somehow that they conveyed and made Wendy feel worried. She looked away. 

 

What does Irene look so desperate?

 

We