Sixth Month
Sigurado“Mmm…” pag-uungot ni Irene.
“Tulog ka pa, you need more rest. Ako na bahala sa breakfast,” sabi ko sa kanya habang patayo sa kama.
“Actually, gusto ko pa matulog. Sasabihin ko sanang ikaw muna bahala sa sarili mo, Seulgi,” sabi ni Irene habang nag-uunat at tuluyang tumalikod sa kabilang parte ng kama at itinuloy ang pagtulog.
“I’m okay, babe. Sige lang, go tulog.”
She went back to sleep, and I cooked breakfast.
I prepared waffles because I felt cooking that thing. Naalala ko pa nung nag-grocery kami ni Irene last month, she was like, “Seulgi, gawan mo ko ng waffles later tonight, 5th month anniversary na natin,” sabay lapag ng ingredients ng waffles. And I don’t even know the correlation of waffles and our 5th monthsary. I was able to test the waffle maker she bought that night, but kinuha si Irene sa akin ng boss niya dahil kailangan niyang magtrabaho even it was a weekend, at lumamig ang waffles na niluto ko para sa kanya.
From that moment, hindi ko na masyadong nakausap si Irene ng hindi lalagpas sa limang minuto.
And now, she has all the time in the world.
I’m kind of relieved that we’re gonna celebrate our 6th month together.
It’s a relief too na work from home ako today, so kahit papaano maasikaso ko si Irene.
But I heard my phone ringing and I swear I hope it’s not about work na ganito kaaga. Masasapok ko ‘tong si Yeri kung si Yeri ‘to.
Wait. Si Mama?
“Seulgi?”
“Ma? Napatawag ka?”
“Seulgi, ‘nak, balak naming pumunta sa apartment mo ng papa mo. Bisitahin ka lang namin.”
“Ma, you know you can always visit us. I’ll tell Irene you’re coming over.”
“Saglit lang kami, dala namin ‘yung iba mong gamit na naiwan mo pa dito sa bahay.”
“Ma, bakit mo dala, eh nauwi naman ako paminsan-minsan.”
“Mamaya ko na lang ipapaliwanag.”
“Al…right. Everything’s okay at home?”
“Of course, ‘nak. Okay na okay. See you later!”
“Bye, ma. We’ll see you later.”
And just like that, another interruption.
--
Ma texted me na aalis sila ng 9:30am sa bahay, so mahaba haba pa ‘yung oras para makapag-prepare. Kaya lang, mukhang kailangan na ring gumising ni Irene.
Or hindi ko kaya muna siya gisingin?
Mukhang maiintindihan naman ni mama kung tulog si Irene sa pagbisita nila dito.
But then I heard Irene’s footsteps from the room, I think she’s already awake.
“Seulgi…”
“Yes?”
“Narinig ko tumawag si Tita. Punta sila dito?”
“Yeah, they will. Ibibigay daw yung mga gamit ko at mukhang may sasabihin.”
“Okay, so we better hurry.”
“It’s fine, 9:30 pa raw sila alis dun. 8 pa lang, Rene.”
“Unang beses ‘to na makikita nila tayong nakatira sa iisang apartment, Seulgi. Tsaka medyo magulo ‘yung apartment, baka ano isipin nila Tita, baka isipin nila…”, nangiti muna siya bago niya ituloy ‘yung gusto niyang sabihin.
“ …batugan ka talaga mula nung umalis ka sa puder nila.”
Alam kong inaasar lang niya ‘ko, pero alam niyang maiinis talaga ako kapag tinawag akong batugan.
“I’m not! I’m about to cook our breakfast!”
“Okay, you do that. Mag-ayos ako ng gamit dito.”
“I’m not batugan, okay?” Ulit ko pa sa kanya na medyo may kunting asar kay Irene. Tumatawa lang siya na parang walang nangyari kagabi. Normal.
I like it.
“Hindi Seulgi, binibiro lang kita. Ikaw na sa breakfast, ako na magi-imis dito.”
And so I did that.
I cooked the waffles, brewed the coffee, and prepared the utensils; nagulat ako na bigla akong niyakap ni Irene mula sa likod.
It’s getting tighter.
And tighter.
“I miss you so much, Seulgi.”
Ugh. I miss this woman too. So much.
I put the waffles onto the plate and turned to her.
“I miss you too, Irene. Di ko alam kung ano ‘yung dapat kong gawin in the past month.”
She had a reassuring smile after I said that.
“Tingin ko ang una mong kailangang gawin ay maging honest sa akin.”
Oh.
So, she knew I lied. Kilalang kilala mo nga talaga ako, Irene.
“Hehe.”
“Don’t ‘hehe’ me, Seulgi. What’s the big news?”
Hehe.
Does it matter now? Parang nakakabastos kasi to share this thing tapos siya resigned sa work.
“Seulgi?”
I don’t want her to feel bad about herself again.
“Seulgi?”
Irene’s getting mad. I don’t want this to be a big deal na because of what happened, so okay.
“I’m promoted. Sa work. Si Yeri din. I kinda applied for this one though, Rene, with the help of Sunmi ‘cause you know, boss ko siya and she helped me realized a lot of things and I thought it would help us to save more money for the future, you know, in case,” I told her swiftly. Tipong nag-rap na ‘ko.
And she smiled so big like a really proud jowa and immediately hugged me again.
“Congratulations, Seulgi! That’s really a big news!”
Umalis siya sa pagkakayakap then pinalo niya ‘ko ng mahina.
“Bakit kailangan mo pa magsinungaling kagabi? Alam mo na ngang down na down ako eh, I needed this win.”
“I don’t want you to feel bad.”
“Tingin mo talaga I’ll feel bad about your win? Akala ko ba, we’re all in this together? Your win is my win.”
I smiled to that.
“And when you lose, I also lose.”
Napansin ko naman ‘yung pagkunot niya ng noo.
“I didn’t lose, Seulgi. It’s my best decision in a while. And please next time, h’wag mo na gagawin ‘yun, okay? Sobrang pagod na ‘ko kagabi kaya hindi na kita kinulit pero alam kong cover up lang ‘yun. Masarap ‘yung kimchi fried rice by the way, pero that was your lamest lie. Mas lalo lang akong na-feel bad na kailangan mo pang magsinungaling for me to feel good. What if makasanayan mo ‘yan? Wala ‘yang forever natin na gusto mo kung wala na ‘kong tiwala sa’yo.”
I was speechless.
“Seulgi, I’m always proud of you, alam mo ‘yan! And I always support your endeavors. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to know these things earlier dahil sobrang busy ko. Babawi ako, okay? Pero no more lies na rin ha?”
Irene has a point. That was so wrong of me to assume all of that, and that she’s just tired after all.
“No need to be sorry. Ako dapat ‘yung mag-sorry, babe. I won’t do that ever again. I just didn’t know what to do last night, I panicked, I’m sorry…”
And I really panicked. No excuses. Sometimes, I just don’t know what to do especially when things are too much to handle.
“…I guess I was trying to do more than just comfort you.”
She smiled.
“Comforting is enough, Seulgi. Basta kasama kita, basta nakikita kita, kahit busy ka, kahit nagpipinta ka sa sala, kahit naglilinis ka ng bahay, kahit nagluluto ka ng kakainin natin, kahit presensya mo lang, Seulgi. You are more than enough.”
Irene…
I love you.
“But you deserve mo than that, babe. Kahit ako, enough sa akin na andito ka kasama ko pero you deserve more than that.”
“I know naman, Seulgi. So alright, next time we try again?”
“I still believe you deserve more than that.”
“And I believe that, too. Everyone deserves to be loved, Seulgi. But sometimes we overdo things that we unconsciously harm the people we love. ‘Yun lang ‘yung ayaw kong mangyari sa atin. What happened last night, okay na ‘yun sa akin. Ako rin, please, if I’m lacking as a partner Seulgi, please don’t hesitate to tell me your grievances. Susubukan kong maging pasensyosa at iintindi ko ‘yung sitwasyon. Can we promise that to ourselves?”
“So no more debates?” biro ko sa kanya.
Kumunot naman ‘yung eyebrows niya and said, “Wait, no I love our debates.”
“Kidding, babe. Yes, I promise to communicate more, and to be more understanding.”
“I promise too.”
“That’s better than any I love yous.”
And then she hugged me once more.
--
We were eating waffles and sipping coffee when Irene asked me about the time that has passed.
“8:45 pa lang, babe. We still have more time.”
“Mmkay, makakapagkape pa ‘ko ng mahabang mahaba. Tagal ko na ring hindi nakapagmunimuni. Sarap ng kape at waffles mo, Seulgi.”
“Thanks. My heart is in it.”
Ngumiti si
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