[ ocean eyes – billie eilish ]

 

“Jiminie?”

 

It’s always the way she calls my name.

 

The way that nickname rolls off of her lips, how she calls onto me more than how she had called some other girls in the past, like how she called that girl she had liked in the past – I know by now that Ryujin is far on her mind.

 

“Jiminie~”

 

It’s the littlest things that make me fall in love with you more.

 

I wonder.

 

What did take hold of me that day?

 

The day that I asked you to date me, that I could prove to you that I can make you forget her?

 

“Jimin!” you call out again, and I finally break from my trance that I had immersed myself in for the nth time, and you whine as you pull the sleeve of the sweater you had always fondly worn over the years, the sweater that I’ve given you that day, and we’ve taken turns wearing it to and fro to the point that it is something shared intimate upon both of us.

 

“Jiminnn! Hey, kanina ka pa tulala diyan.” You utter, and I don’t even say a word as I immediately pull you over and hug you tight, to the point that you’re already whining again because you can’t breathe, but I do not loosen my hold upon you until you hum silently, an old habit that you’ve formed whenever we embrace each other like this.

 

Two years, Minjeong.

 

Two years that we’ve been playing this game blindly.

 

Did I truly make you forget her?

 

Or are you only staying here because you have to?

 

The doubts pour upon my heart as the tears soon fall, and you panic immediately as you wipe those tears away and hug me tighter like how I’ve embraced you just moments ago, and just as always, you don’t ask me right away.

 

That’s what I’ve appreciated about you.

 

The way you let me process things first before asking me anything, the way you don’t pry too much, the way you only embrace me first before anything else – I’ve always felt my peace when I’m always with you.

 

“Minjeongie…” I utter, whining like a child, and I chuckle silently while wiping my tears as I see a flash of panic appear upon your face, hugging me tighter while I silently cry in your embrace, feeling overwhelmed in every aspect and every part of this rocky and rollercoaster like relationship that we have and continue to be having for two years and counting.

 

“Tell me to stop, Minjeong.” I utter, and she looks up from our shared embrace to see me get serious all of a sudden.

 

“Ha? What do you mean stop ba, Jimin?” you ask, and I couldn’t even bring the words upon myself.

 

“Tell me to stop dating you.”

 

The silence falls upon the both of us like a vase, crashing upon both of us like an unpredictable vase mixed with feelings and emotions, and yet you only smile in response before uttering words.

 

“Why would I make you stop when you’ve made me the happiest, Jimin?” you ask, and once again you panic as the tears start rushing yet again, and you embrace me while patting my back, and I don’t even find the words to say to you, words that would alleviate the silence between the both of us.

 

“You told me to date you, that you’d make me forget her and have me date you instead, na sobrang competitive mo to the point that you’re throwing everything on the line just to make me happy. Nagawa mo naman iyon, Jimin.” You reason out, and I only listen to you intently, afraid that I might hurt you with the smallest of words in this unprocessed emotions that I have at the moment.

 

“You… Don’t stop loving me, Jimin. Promise?” you utter, and you immediately knock upon my head with a fist, and once again I stare upon your eyes.

 

The eyes that changed perception and focus two years ago.

 

Eyes don’t lie, Minjeong.

 

It never lies.

 

So can I already conclude that your eyes would only stare lovingly at me?

 

Pwede naman, di ba, Minjeong?

 

“God… this makes me crazy…” I utter, and hug you tighter again, and you look at me with those eyes that seem to sing of only praises and only love for me, and I do hope that you’d be able to love me with those eyes and love me like this for a very long time –

 

The sweetest of kisses.

 

It descends upon me slowly, like a blessed rain after a long drought, and I find myself kissing you back with the equal fervor of what you’re giving me, and I find you kissing me one of the most favorite things in this world that we live in.

 

Your weight presses upon me as you soon explore every part of mine (like you haven’t before), and this time I let you take the lead, and you express such love of yours with such eagerness that I find myself whining and wanting for more –

 

“M-Minjeong…” I utter, and you laugh silently as you settle in upon my lap and hug me tighter than how you’ve hugged me before,

 

How you make me cry with the smallest of things. (I don’t hate it, though.)

 

How you make me laugh with just your littlest of actions, and how you make me feel at peace with how you hug me and how you kiss me like this, I feel like I’ve struck a gold mine with you.

 

“Don’t ever stop loving me, Minjeong.” I utter, and you chuckle, putting a kiss upon my forehead, making me smile and hug you tight yet again.

 

(Sometimes I wonder if I’m really older than you, or if you lied about your age, but I don’t really mind dating someone older than me, as long as it’s you.)

 

“I won’t. You won’t get rid of me that easily, noh.” She utters, burying her face upon the base of my neck, putting a kiss here and there while we stay here for longer, like there’s no time existing between the two of us, and honestly… I can stay here like this forever.

 

Here, with you.

 

“Eyes don’t lie, Minjeong.” I utter, and you only chuckle at that, reminiscing how I’ve told you that some two years ago, and that saying had held true even until now.

 

“You’re so in love with me oh, look how you’re staring.” I utter, laughing as I try to stand up while carrying her in front of me, and she’s holding onto me like she’s afraid that I would drop her upon the ground, but no.

 

I won’t drop you even for a second.

 

“Oo na, oo na… Ang kapal mo nanaman.” You utter, and I only laugh at that as I remember that we have a date later on with our other friends.

 

“You may want to cover that.” You utter, and I momentarily look upon the mirror na dinaanan natin on the way to our shared bedroom, and I widen my eyes as I see what you’re talking about –

 

“MINJEONG?!”

 

No sweaters for later, I guess.

 

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Fallin' into your ocean eyes

 

 

 

Those ocean eyes