Kibum slapped his keys down on the awaiting table after he shut his front door with his elbow; every day, it was the same thing. Come home, put the keys down, shrug off his coat and shoes, and have some wine. He wondered if this was all his life would ever be.

The silence in his apartment reminded him that he was sadly single and that there wasn't anyone waiting for him at home with dinner ready and a nice evening in store. If he wanted a ready-made dinner, he'd have to eat some leftovers from the night before, or order takeout. Just the thought depressed him.

He loved his job as a detective; he loved bringing people to justice no matter what the crime was. He liked imagining the world as a better place, and he liked thinking he was slowly contributing to that. But what came with it (the loneliness, the constant increase of workload, etc.) was taxing. He couldn't go out to clubs, nor could he go to parties since he was either working or he had a lot to look over at home about a case. He had to sacrifice his youth and all the things he wanted to do - get blackout drunk, makeout with strangers, and more things on the wild side of life - to work for where he was now. He wasn't just dropped into his position at the station; he had to fight claw and tooth for his spot, and there was no way he'd jeopardize that.

However, it was often where he wondered if any of this was worth it. Was throwing himself into his work, day and night, worth not having anyone to share his experiences with other than his colleagues? Was it worth all the late nights that he spent slaving over his work instead of out with friends? Missing birthdays and not having the time to spoil himself on his own birthday? Did he really love his career that much?

Sometimes, he wasn't sure. He was 27 years old, and so the days of his youth were counting down quickly enough to make him think about whether or not he'd be happy with his life when he was retired. He didn't want to have regrets; he didn't want to look back and slap himself on his head, thinking 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 or 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒. He wanted to live his life to the fullest, but he was restricted greatly by his job.

He wondered if he'd be happier or not in a normal, office job. He'd have much more time for things, but he wouldn't feel that fulfilled each time he got something done. Finishing a report was nothing compared to making an arrest or a large breakthrough on a nearly cold case. It couldn't even compare to seeing the relief on family's faces when they got the justice they deserved. Maybe Kibum just had to find the right balance between his home life and work life.

He sighed as he began pouring his wine in the same old glass he always used; he complained and whined and pined for more, but he knew his heart was too invested in his career to do anything to leave. There was always the possibility he'd regret giving his youth to the department, but at least he could pat himself on his back right now for saving lives, serving justice, and being happy while doing it. Maybe all he'd ever do was follow Taemin around like a puppy because he liked him so much, or maybe he'd get over his crush in a few years; either way, Kibum wanted to at least go on dates somehow.

He sat down in front of his computer and pulled up a local dating site.