*****

I'm finally going back home. 

I can finally see the fruit of our hard work, the house of our dreams, the memories engraved on the stones - our names that are forever tied with bond and love. 

It's been 2 years ever since but I still haven't moved on. Do I rather not remember anything or is it better than being slapped with the realization of being abandoned? The latter gives me the truth I am seeking. But it hurts. It hurts so much. 

I looked outside the car window to peek at the scenery. Nostalgia - a word that better describes everything that I'm feeling now. This place is where I met my first friend, my first love, my first enemy, my first lover, my spouse that I fought for... for years and years of unaccepted support given to us by our parents. We fought hard, didn't we? 

I still remember the time we had to hide behind the trees just to hold hands. I still have the memory of our first kiss on the cheeks in front of our home's altar. We were so scared to be seen, but you assured me that no matter what happens... you'll stay beside me. We promised that day, you and me, will never forget each other's affection. It was kind of funny how young we are, promising like that in front of our small altar. We both didn't know how heavy that promise was.

We grew up together, but slowly, I am losing the same affection I had when we were young. It was nonsensical to be with the same gender when I'm feeling some kind of attraction to the opposite . You're so stubborn and started playing dirty tricks just to annoy the guy I liked. Soon, I ignored you. Cliché as may it seem but I did that because of how irritating you are. There's no other way I can avoid being so harsh to you when you're so annoying, right?

You stopped not because you wanted to, but because you have to move to another city. You left me a note, saying:

I love you and I'm still holding on to our promise. I hope you won't forget, and I hope you won't be upset about how stubborn I was. Don't worry too much, maybe in the next few years I'll be able to let go. Stay healthy and take care of yourself, always. I love you, 'till next time. 

- Your bear, Seulgi.

I wanted to throw the paper because of how cringe it was, but I couldn't. 

I couldn't expect something more after we met each other in this city again after you visited your grandmother's place 3 years after you left the city. You changed. You grew up taller than me, your physique looks feminine, yet there's a tiny hint of masculinity. You worked hard for those 3 years you left this city. 

We're both in college, taking up pre-requisite courses for the job of our dreams. Who would've thought that you wanted to be a lawyer? As for me, I've always wanted to be a doctor. You courted me weeks after we met during your visit. You were so patient with me. It took you 3 years to get my answer and it was worth it. Isn't it? We fought for it and it's worth it. 

"I took your breath," I said to myself. I knew that she was so into me when we were young. But as time goes by, she's the one who's impressing me with her efforts. Day by day, I've gotten my breath taken by you. I kept on being mesmerized by you, your presence, your efforts... just you.

Seul