“What are you doing here?” My friend groggily said. I gave her a once over, naka pantulog lang siya. Well, gabi na rin naman kasi.

 

Nilagpasan ko lang si Yunjin and I plopped down their soft sofa, “Ayoko pang umuwi sa apartment. Nag-away kami ni Winter.” I stubbornly said. Naiinis pa rin ako kapag naaalala ko!

 

Pero lumalambot din ang puso ko when I think about her puppy eyes kanina before I left our home.

 

Bago pa man makapagsalita ulit si Yunjin, I talked again, “Can you believe her?! May nagkakagusto pala sa kanya sa kabilang department ng office nila. He even gave her flowers. And she didn’t tell me until kanina!”

 

“It’s so annoyi—” I heard Yunjin’s laguh which irked me, “Why are you laughing? Nakakatawa ba ‘yon, Yunjin?! What if may nagkakagusto rin kay Jeno sa another department tapos hindi mo alam?”

 

She frowned immediately at nawala ang tawa, “Oh, diba?!” I exclaimed.

 

“Can you relax?!” My friend sat beside me, “I’m sure Winter has a good explanation. Hindi naman niya siguro deliberately ginawa ‘yon, ano ka ba. You should go home, nag-aalala ‘yun.”

 

I was about to respond when her phone rang. She looked at it at binigyan ako ng knowing look, “Baby mo.”

 

“Don’t answer!” I demanded.

 

At syempre, Yunjin being herself, sinagot niya. I’m kind of thankful rin naman na she answered, I was just being stubborn. There’s a part of me na gustong marinig ang boses ni Winter.

 

“Hey, Win.” Ni-loudspeaker ni Yunjin so I can hear ang sasabihin ng girlfriend ko sa kabilang linya.

 

“Yunjin?” No... She sounded small and fragile. Hays. Pero kasi... I’m annoyed and hurt sa nangyari kaya I can’t bring myself na isantabi na lang ito.

 

First time yata ito sa relationship namin na mag-away nang ganito. Usually silly fights and tampuhan lang. But I guess it’s part of being in a committed relationship.

 

May mga bagay at away talaga na hindi maiiwasan.

 

“Nandiyan ba si Karina?” Pahabol na tanong ni Winter.

 

Yunjin looked at me, as if asking for my permission kung sasabihin niya ba kay Winter yung totoo. I nodded at her so she responded, “Yeah, nandito siya. Don’t worry. She’s safe.”

 

“Okay.. Hindi pa siya kumakain, pagluto mo naman ng dinner..” I almost laughed dahil nagawa niya pa talagang utusan si Yunjin. “Pauwiin mo siya bukas ha.. Sige, good night.”

 

It’s heartwarming to know na hindi niya pinilit si Yunjin na ipakausap ako sa kanya, o kaya naman nagsabi sa kaibigan ko na pauwiin ako tonight. Both of us know when to give each other the space that we need when we need it.

 

At ngayon, alam kong alam ni Winter na what happened wasn’t just a simple tampuhan kaya she’s respecting my space.

 

Tinignan ako ulit ni Yunjin, “Okay, since makikitulog ka dito, at least tell me what really happened.”

 

 

“Agh, kapagod maglagay ng Christmas decor. Pero at least productive ang Saturday natin, baby.” Nakahiga lang kami sa carpeted floor ng aming living room. Winter is suddenly kissing me all over my face, ang cute lang.

 

“Mmh. Visit kaya tayo sa store nila Mama? We haven’t visited in a while. Dun na rin tayo kain sa silogan.” I suggested while she’s still showering my face with kisses. “Baby, nakikiliti ako.”

 

She smiled against my cheek at binigyan ako ng huling kiss bago siya tumayo, “Let’s go na. Ligo na tayo.” She helped me stand up and I let her.

 

“Sabay tayo?” I teased.

 

She surprisingly shrugged, “Okay.”

 

“Okay?” Hindi yata ako sanay na parang dedma siya sa suggestion ko. Madalas ay sisimangutan niya ako dahil sa aking provoking na pang-aasar.

 

“Oo. Ligo lang naman. Tsaka pangarap ko dati na shampoo-hin ang buhok mo.” She giggled sa kanyang sariling sinabi.

 

Napalakas din ang tawa ko, “Pangarap talaga?!”

 

Hinila niya ako papasok ng kwarto para kumuha kami ng isusuot. She’s being extra sweet today and I love it. Siya pa nga ang pumili ng isusuot ko, even my undies.

 

“Let’s go ligo.” Excited na sabi niya. “I love you baby..” May pa-back hug pa sa akin bago kami pumasok sa banyo.

 

I turned to her and gave her a loving kiss that she deserves, “I love you too, my beby girl..” Both of us chuckled. Ano ba yan, maliligo lang kami ang dami pang kahanashan!

 

Akala ko pa may iba kaming gagawin sa banyo but we literally just took a bath. Winter was true to her words nung sinabi niyang gusto niyang shampoo-hin ang buhok ko. She was even so serious sa pagsasabon sa akin nang maigi.

 

It’s... nice. That we don’t have to be intimate in that way to be intimate with each other. Minsan pala okay na itong sabay kaming naliligo without doing anything other than bathing.

 

Comfortable na rin kasi kami talaga sa isa’t isa at hindi na parang sinisilaban si Winter when she sees my body.

 

“Let’s go na? Walk na lang tayo, katamad mag-drive.” I told her after we’re done getting ready. Hindi naman masyadong malayo dito sa apartment yung store ng parents namin.

 

“Sige, baby.” She reached out for my hand to hold and I gladly took hers.

 

We’ve been so busy lately at ngayon lang yata uli kami makakalabas. Winter has been doing a lot of field works sa kanyang trabaho, kaya minsan kahit weekend, wala siya.

 

Kapag naman nasa office siya, may times na OT dahil may medyo matindi yung project nila ngayon.

 

We got to the place at wala raw doon both si Mama and Winter’s mom. Gumala nanaman siguro! They’re always bonding.

 

We were about to leave when Mama Wilma’s staff called my girlfriend, “Madam Winter! May pinapabigay sayo yung customer kanina. Ito oh.” Agad na tumaas ang kilay ko when he handed Winter a bouquet of flowers.

 

“Kanino galing yan?” Sabay naming tanong ni Winter.

 

Okay? I guess it’s good na wala rin siyang idea sa kung kanino ito galing, but I was starting to feel annoyed.

 

“Soobin daw. Kilala mo raw siya sa work. Baka nanliligaw.” He cringed nang tignan ko siya nang masama. Pumasok na lang ulit sa kitchen.

 

At this point, binitawan ko na ang kamay ni Winter.

 

I grumpily looked at her, “Who’s Soobin? Bakit binibigyan ka ng flowers? Why would he do that?” Nakakunot lang ang noo ni Winter at parang nag-iisip, “Babe.” I scolded.

 

May ibang customers na napatingin sa amin so I kept my anger to myself muna. Sumenyas ako sa girlfriend ko, “Umuwi na muna tayo. Dun tayo mag-usap.”

 

Nilagpasan ko siya, but I could see the worry in her eyes dahil alam kong alam niya na galit ako. She’s also pouting. Although of course, paunang reaction ko lang ito and I know once mag-usap kami, it’s gonna die down.

 

However…

 

“Babe wala ‘yun. Hindi ko nga pinapansin yung lalakeng ‘yun kapag kung ano-ano ang binibigay. Hindi ko siya binibigyan ng attention whatsoever.” She explained when we got home.

 

Nakaupo ako sa sofa namin while she’s standing near me, looking like a lost puppy. If I wasn’t so annoyed right now, I’d even say she’s cute.

 

Nag-register bigla sa akin ang sinabi niya and I instantly frowned, “So this wasn’t the first time?”

 

Honestly… mas nararamdaman ko na yung pagiging upset ko ngayon.

 

Winter knew better than be clingy sa akin ngayong moment na ito so she kept her distance. Kita ko rin yung distress sa kanya kaya nafi-feel bad ako for snapping.

 

Pero kasi…

 

This is upsetting me.

 

“Winter. Did he give you flowers before? Bakit hindi mo siya nakekwento sakin? Why am I finding out about him ngayon lang?” My tone changed into a calmer one.

 

She let out a tired sigh, “He did.. Pero hindi ko naman pinapansin. Seryoso, Karina. He’s not important kaya hindi ko rin naaalalang ikwento sayo.. Wala siya sa isip ko.”

 

“Does he know you have a girlfriend?” I asked coldly.

 

“Hindi ko siya nakakausap, baby. So hindi ko alam, baka hindi..” Lumapit siya nang bahagya sa akin, “Babe.. Sorry. Ang dami lang din kasing ginagawa sa office kaya nawawala na rin sa isip ko. He doesn’t matter enough para maalala ko siya.”

 

get that, but...

 

Hay, ang lalim lang ng iniisip ko ngayon.

 

“If binibigyan-bigyan ka na pala ng flowers or kung ano man, you should have told him na may girlfriend ka na. Now he probably thinks he can just send you flowers anytime he wants. Winter naman.”

 

Naiinis ako.

 

Hindi ako natutuwa.

 

“And the fact that you never even mentioned him sa akin. Not once.” I’m starting to feel hurt sa nangyari.

 

I know Winter doesn’t care for him. Hell, she probably doesn’t even remember his name, but still, this is upsetting and hurting me.

 

May nagpapadala ng flowers sa girlfriend ko nang hindi ko alam. And it wasn’t the first time na nangyari ‘yon. Tingin ko naman kahit sino maiinis!

 

In fact, maraming nagkakagusto sa kanya. But it doesn’t matter to me. I can’t blame them dahil maganda naman talaga si Winter. It’s not her fault that she’s very easy to like and very lovable.

 

It just really doesn’t sit well with me na hindi man lang nabanggit ni Winter sa akin ang Soobin na ‘yon, or hindi niya sinabi dun sa guy na she’s not available and is in a serious relationship.

 

I get na wala siyang pakialam dun sa lalakeng ‘yon, but still, that’s something na dapat niyang sabihin sa akin.

 

Also… sana ni-reject na lang niya outright at sinabi na may girlfriend siya, diba?!

 

“Karina..” She reached out for me. I let her, but I’m still very annoyed and angry about what happened. “Baby.. Huy.. Mahal ko..” Paglalambing niya habang hinahaplos ang kamay ko.

 

I stood up abruptly.

 

Hindi ako madadaan sa paglalambing na ganito ngayon.

 

Hmp.

 

Ayoko rin naman na mag-usap kami na galit pa ako dahil ayoko naman makapagsabi ng kung ano kay Winter because I know naman na hindi niya deliberately ginawa ‘yon.

 

“I’ll just drive around..”

 

First time namin magkaroon ng ganito kaseryosong argument where one of us got hurt and genuinely upset, kaya tingin ko okay rin na mag-clear muna ng head.

 

She nodded defeatedly, “Okay..”

 

I got the car keys and left our home.

 

 

“So you told her na mag-clear ka lang ng head pero you ended up here? Tapos dito ka matutulog?” Yunjin asked. “Umuwi ka na lang kaya? Mapag-uusapan niyo naman yan. Though I guess it makes sense why you’re upset..”

 

“I can’t come home yet. Eh kasi naman, you know how weak I am kay Winter! Kapag umuwi ako tapos nilambing-lambing ako nun, bibigay ako.” Okay, aaminin ko, ang arte ko.

 

My friend laughed, “And? Is that a bad thing?”

 

“Hindi naman. I guess gusto ko lang magalit for now and magtampo. Does that make sense? I’m allowed to feel that, right?” Kasi ayoko naman na isantabi yung feelings ko about sa nangyari.

 

I’m sure Winter understands that. And I’d also understand had the roles been reversed at siya yung nagtampo sa akin.

 

“Well.. yeah, actually. That makes sense. And of course, you’re allowed to feel that way. I sometimes feel that way too when Jeno and I fight and kapag seryoso yung reason.” I’m glad to know that it’s not just me.

 

Tumayo na siya at ngumiti sa akin, “Well, in that case, dito ka na nga lang muna. Mukhang panatag naman yung loob ni Win when she found out you came here.”

 

Pinag-prepare ako ni Yunjin ng dinner and she even helped me settle doon sa guest room nila sa bahay.

 

Hays…

 

Hindi ako sanay na wala si Winter sa tabi ko habang natutulog. The bed feels empty somehow at parang may kulang talaga. Umuwi na lang kaya ako? For sure naman mawawala rin yung inis ko.

 

My phone chimed kaya agad ko itong kinuha, thinking na baka nag-text si Yunjin from the next room.

 

My beby ❤️: ☹️

 

No…

 

She’s sad.

 

My beby ❤️: *photo attachment* I miss you. Baby :(((( Uwi ka na agad bukas please ☹️

 

She sent a photo of the pillow she’s hugging right now, naka-place ito on my side of our bed.

 

My beby ❤️: But I understand kung bakit need mo ng space. Ayoko rin mag-away tayo nang galit ka pa.

 

My beby ❤️: Pero alam mo naman na ikaw lang love ko diba? Di ko naman pinapansin yung panget na yun eh di ko nga tanda itsura non :(

 

I chuckled. I know she meant that.

 

My beby ❤️: Wala naman akong pakialam don eh :((((

 

Me: We’ll talk tomorrow.. Let’s sleep it off.

 

My beby ❤️: Can I call?

 

Me: We’re still on a fight though

 

My beby ❤️: Okay lang yan

 

My beby ❤️ calling…

 

“Baliw talaga..” I said to myself. I answered the call anyway dahil hindi ko naman talaga matitiis si Winter.

 

“Oh?” I tried to sound as cold as possible.

 

“Baby..” Pinilit kong hindi mangiti sa tono niya. “Kumain ka na ba? Kain ka na ha. Order kaya ako para sayo?”

 

It made me smile dahil akala ko papauwiin niya lang ako at pipilitin, pero her main concern right now is kung kumain na ba ako.

 

Lumalambot tuloy ang puso ko.

 

“Kumain na ako.. Don’t worry..”

 

“Okay.. Sige, matulog na tayo. Para mabilis mag bukas. Para uuwi ka na.” Natawa ako pero hindi ko pinarinig sa kanya. She’s so silly and funny sometimes she doesn’t even realize it.

 

I nodded, “Okay. Good night..”

 

“Okay.. Ibaba mo na.” She responded softly.

 

“Ikaw na.”

 

“Ikaw na..”

 

My God, magkaaway ba talaga kami?! Bakit parang back to landian and getting to know stage kami bigla ng aming relationship?!

 

At dahil ako nga naman ang nagtatampo, ako na lang ang unang nagbaba ng call. I’m still upset sa nangyari, but I find myself smiling just before I dozed off to sleep.

 

I woke up to a loud knock.

 

Medyo nagtaka pa ako kung nasan ako then I suddenly remembered na nandito nga pala ako kina Yunjin.

 

It’s weird waking up without my girlfriend sa aking tabi.

 

“Madramang Karina, rise and shine!”

 

I checked the clock, halos alas nuwebe pa lang naman ng umaga. Naisip ko kaagad si Winter. Nagluluto na ‘yun ng breakfast namin ‘pag ganitong oras during Sundays.

 

“I’m awake!” I shouted back. Paulit-ulit ba naman kumatok nang malakas?! Nakakarindi.

 

Nag-ayos ako saglit ng sarili before ako lumabas sa room. Bumungad sa akin si Jeno and Yunjin sa may sofa, eating their breakfast. Hindi man lang ako hinintay ha!

 

“Morning, Karina. Balita ko nanlalake daw si Winter.” Pabirong sabi ni Jeno. Nahampas tuloy siya ni Yunjin sa braso. “Joke lang! Hindi gagawin non ‘yun! Mahal na mahal ka kaya non.”

 

“I know.” Inirapan ko siya.

 

“Ay, Kars. Nagpadeliver ako ng food mo. Nandiyan na sa labas, nag-text sa akin. Can you get it?” Bakit naman kailangan akong pa-deliveran? Wala bang pagkain dito sa kanila?

 

I looked at her weirdly but nodded nonetheless.

 

I opened their front door para lumabas and that’s when I saw Winter standing just near the gate, holding flowers at paper bags na may laman yatang food.

 

“Good morning, baby.” Nakangiting bati niya. Lumapit ito sa akin ang she gave me a peck on the lips which caught me off guard, “Flowers for you. Meron din Jollibee breakfast.”

 

Tinignan ko siya nang masama, though I’m only feigning my annoyance, “Why are you here?” I asked, pouting. As if her presence didn’t make my heart skip a beat.

 

Tinanggap ko rin naman yung bulaklak at pinipigil ko pa nga ang sarili ko na amuyin ito. She’s really sweet...

 

Hindi naman niya need gawin ito. I was going to come home na rin naman para makapag-usap kami nang maayos. But I’m not going to lie to myself... This feels nice.

 

“Sinusundo ka. Uuwi na tayo.” Medyo humina ang kanyang boses at bumalik ang worried gaze nito, “Sorry na.. Usap na tayo.” Yumakap siya sa akin, “I love you na..”

 

Sobrang evident lang ng sincerity sa kanyang boses. Alam kong kapag nag-usap kami at sinabi ko sa kanya yung nararamdaman ko, she’ll understand wholeheartedly kung bakit ko ito naramdaman.

 

“Kain na muna tayo inside, then we’ll go home.” I suggested. She was still giving me yung kanyang puppy eyes look. Nakakainis.

 

“No. Uwi na kayo! Di ka na welcome dito, Karina. Bye!” Nakakagulat naman ang bunganga ni Yunjin. At talagang pinagsarahan kami ng pinto?

 

I heard Winter chuckle, “Ayan, bawal ka na raw. Tara na?” She gave me another hopeful gaze at biglang kumunot ang noo, “Unless ayaw mo, syempre.. Okay lang ba ‘to?” She was pertaining sa kanyang gesture ngayong morning.

 

“Oo naman. Tara na..” I reassured her at hinayaan siyang hilahin ako palabas ng gate where I left our car.

 

“Ako na mag-drive, baby.” Talaga namang bumabawi. Minsan lang kasi siyang mag-drive at gusto raw niya ako ang driver sa aming dalawa. But I guess she wanted me to feel “special” ngayong umaga.

 

Napatingin ako sa bulaklak na binigay niya, then naalala ko nanaman yung binigay ni So