Part 33.5

Burnout
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"You look happy. You haven't been this smiley since.. forever."

 

I smiled before taking a sip of the jamba juice that my friend bought for me, "Because I am." Okay... Medyo cringy yung pagiging giddy ko, but I couldn't really care less right now. I am happy, and I'm not going to deny it.

 

Yunjin looked intrigued, at kapag intrigued siya, marami siyang tanong, "Oh.." Nanliit ang kanyang mata, "Oh! Ang coincidental naman na ganyan ka kasaya after ng trip mo sa Tagaytay with the UPLB team, which by the way, ay included si Winter. Hmm.."

 

I gave her a wide smile in response at tinulak ako kaagad ni gaga, muntik na akong ma-choke sa aking iniinom. "Ano ba?! Natapon yung juice!" Hindi pa rin maalis sa akin ang ngiti ko, especially kapag naaalala si Winter.

 

Just the mere thought of her makes me happy.

 

"You're disgustingly happy! Ano bang nangyari sa Tagaytay? Did you guys make up? Nag kayo? Make up , ganon?" My smile faded at napalitan ito ng pagsimangot sa kanya, "What?! Malay ko ba." She giggled.

 

Binitawan ko muna ang drink ko to focus on her, "So.. I think she rejected Olivia." Tumili si Yunjin at nagtatalon with matching pagpalakpak, "Oh my god.. Umupo ka nga! Nakakahiya ka!" Nag-sorry ako sa mga taong nasa loob ng drink shop.

 

"As I was saying," I looked at her pointedly para manahimik siya, "Wala naman pala akong dapat ika-selos dun kay Olivia. Winter obviously doesn't like her."

 

God...

 

Grabe yung pagseselos ko the past few months every time Yunjin shows me Liv's Instagram stories tapos nandon si Winter. At hindi pa 'yon, parang close na close kasi talaga sila. I was so afraid that Winter would move on with someone else.

 

Of course I would not take it against her kung may iba na siyang magustuhan at tuluyan na akong kalimutan, but just the thought of it still hurts. My love for her never faded. If anything, mas nadadagdagan pa day by day kahit we were broken up.

 

I don't think I could ever love anyone else other than her.

 

Kaya nga I really took my chance nung time na nagkita ulit kami sa office ni Ma'am Ria. Although hindi maganda yung nangyari when I asked her out to eat lunch, it made me more determined than ever.

 

 

"Anong nangyari sayo?" Yunjin asked immediately pag pasok ko ng kotse niya. She waited for me na makababa ng bus after I went to LB. "Hindi ba napapirmahan yung clearance? Hindi ka ba ulit gagraduate?!" Ang OA niya talaga kahit kailan.

 

I sighed quietly, "Winter and I had lunch." I paused, "Wait, no. Hindi kami nakapaglunch. But yeah, niyaya ko siya."

 

"Okay? Hindi ba good thing 'yon? At least you got to talk to her."

 

Nagmukmok ako sa passenger seat, "She walked out on me. Hindi pa raw niya kaya. I just— I just thought she missed me too. Ang saya ko pa kasi tinanggihan niya yung bruhang Olivia para sumama sa akin."

 

If I sounded like a whiny child right now, I don't really care.

 

"Okay.. When I think about it, para ngang ang shunga mo."

 

Napatingin ako sa kanya looking offended, "Malungkot na nga ako sasabihan mo pa ako ng shunga?! Maging sensitive ka naman!"

 

Tinawanan lang niya ako and she drove away, nagsalita ulit siya nang makalagpas na kami sa terminal, "Nabigla yun, for sure. I mean.. Hello?! Ilang months kayo hindi nag-usap tapos bigla mong yayayain mag lunch?!"

 

I pouted, "But I missed her.." Mahina kong sagot, "And I can't take it anymore. Somehow, I want to come back to her life.. Hindi ko na kaya, Yunjin. I'll take whatever she can give me. Para na akong nababaliw."

 

"Then do it slowly! Lunch ka naman kaagad diyan! Magparamdam ka unti-unti.. I don't know, text her.. Make her feel na you want to come back sa buhay niya. And don't expect anything. Just do your thing." She glanced at me, "Ano nga bang tawag nila don? Ligawan? Yeah, ligawan mo!"

 

Napa-cringe ako sa term niya, "Ginawa mo naman akong high school boy!" Inisip ko nang maigi ang sinabi niya, "But I guess you're right. Baka nga nabigla siya.. It probably overwhelmed her.." I voiced out, "Marami na akong time mag-text since isa na lang naman ang job ko. Do you think magrereply siya?"  

 

She shrugged, "I don't know. Kung ikaw siguro si Olivia, baka replyan ka niya."

 

Hinampas-hampas ko siya, "Take that back!"

 

"Nope. Bahala ka. Galingan mo. Olivia's winning so far." She laughed loudly at parang nangpo-provoke pa, "Jogging buddy.. Coffee buddy.. Everyday magkasama.. Yikes for you."

 

Nag iinit ang ulo ko, "Manahimik ka nga."

 

I acted as if hindi ko gagawin ang kanyang advice but then the day after, nagtext ako kay Winter. Kasama ko sila ni Jeno sa kanilang condo.

 

"May story nanaman si Liv. Photo ni Winter, nakaupo sa desk ni Ma'am Ria. May Jollibee sa harap niya, so Liv must've bought her lunch." Jeno said while eating. Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang pagka detailed niya.

 

Hinablot kaagad ni Yunjin ang phone ng boyfriend to check out the IG story, "She's so papansin! Bakit lagi na lang kailangan i-story si Winter? Jowa niya ba?" I clenched my jaw with what she said.

 

Mabilis kong kinuha ang aking phone to compose a message.

 

Me: Kain ka na ng lunch ☺️

 

"I texted her. Look." Pinakita ko kay Yunjin yung message ko kay Winter.

 

She snorted loudly, "Ang corny mo! But I'm proud of you! Tama yan, show her na ayaw mong maka move on ka sa kanya. Go girl!" She's so loud. Humarap siya kay Jeno, "Call Winter!"

 

The guy scratched his head, "Honeybear naman! Anong sasabihin ko don?"

 

"Basta! Ask her about Liv." Wala nang nagawa si Jeno but to follow my friend's instructions. Buti talaga natitiis niya ang pagiging extra ni Yunjin.

 

I don't know why I'm suddenly nervous nung nag-ring na ang phone ni Winter at sinagot niya ito, "Hello?" Her voice...

 

Miss ko na kaagad siya kahit nakita ko lang siya kahapon.

 

"Magandang tanghali, bff!" What? For sure maiirita si Winter sa pakikipag usap sa kanya ni Jeno ng ganito. They're not even "BFFs".

 

"Ano nanaman, Jeno? Bored ka nanaman." See?

 

Jeno asked Winter about Olivia and her presence sa stories nung isa. Tago na napangiti ako with Winter's answer, "Workmates lang kami. Wag ka ngang ano, naiirita ako sa boses mo."

 

Workmates lang sila. Workmates lang. Hear that, Liv?

 

And of course, Yunjin being extra, sumabat ito, "Tanong mo kung may gusto sa kanya! Dali!" Did she think hindi maririnig ang malakas niyang bulong?

 

"Yunjin, naririnig kita. Ginamit mo pa talaga si Jeno!" Ano ba yan, nakakahiya kay Winter!

 

She grabbed the phone from her boyfriend at bumati kay Winter," Anyhow.. May nagpapatanong kung kumain ka na r—" Mabilis ko siyang kinurot sa tagilitan, "Aray! Shuta ka Karin—" Pinatay ko na yung call.

 

"Walangya ka!"

 

 

Buti na lang talaga nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob magtext nang magtext kay Winter that time. She wasn't that responsive but at least I got to let her know na palagi ko siyang iniisip.

 

The truth is...

 

The moment that it started getting better for me and Mama, si Winter kaagad ang una kong gustong tawagan at sabihan. Gusto ko siyang puntahan, at gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na nagiging okay na ang lahat.

 

But I was scared, and I felt like parang ang kapal ko lang na bigla akong babalik porket nagiging okay na. Feeling ko I didn't have the right to do that. It would be unfair to Winter dahil alam kong sobra ko siyang nasaktan, so I relented.

 

"Okay, so hindi niya gusto si Olivia. Tapos?" Nandito pa nga pala si Yunjin. Masyado akong nalunod sa thoughts ko about Winter.

 

Bumalik na ulit ang ngiti ko, "We had a talk, kaming dalawa ni Winter. And I basically told her everything that I was feeling. That's been like.. the most honest I've been lately." The memory made me smile.

 

I started telling Yunjin yung naging "talk" naming dalawa ni Winter nung gabing 'yon.

 

Kahit pa nga it was an emotional night for the both of us, it just really felt raw and honest. And the way she was holding me habang sinasabi ko yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya... Grabe, nung moment na 'yon, it solidified the fact na siya lang talaga ang mamahalin ko.

 

Hopefully, ganon din siya sa akin.

 

"That's nice. You've been wanting to tell her everything. It's great that you had that chance to talk to her.." She gave me a genuine smile, "In fairness kay Winter ha, that girl really loves you."

 

I smiled back, albeit sadly, "Even though I hurt her big time nung nakipaghiwalay ako sa kanya." Umiling ako sa sarili. I still blame myself for that kahit alam kong it was the right thing to do that time.

 

"You know what.. Tama lang na nanghingi siya ng time. You obviously need that as well para mapatawad yung sarili mo for the breakup. Nasaktan ka rin naman dun, Karina. And I know Winter wouldn't want you to blame yourself repeatedly."

 

Tumango ako, "Yeah, I know.."

 

There was a comfortable silence after. Then bigla akong nag-blurt out out of the blue, "Miss ko na kaagad siya."

 

Natawa si Yunjin, "It's been what? A week since you last saw her? And you text everyday naman yata! God, maybe you're right, para kang high schooler na may crush!" Well, hindi ko naman ide-deny. "Tsaka akala ko ba she asked for more time? Pero lagi naman kayong magkatext!"

 

"Oo nga, but that doesn't mean we can't talk, okay?! Harmless lang naman, it's not like nilalandi ko siya." I wish I could...

 

Grabe, ang landi ko.

 

But I need to respect her space.

 

My phone buzzed and I checked it kaagad. Yunjin even laughed at how fast I checked my phone nung tumunog ito.

 

Bakit ba?!

 

Winter ❤️: Morning din :)

 

Did she just wake up? Lunch time na ah.. I guess talagang pinapahinga niya ang sarili niya since she's on a break bago mag-start dun sa three-month long project for UPLB.

 

Me: Have you eaten? Can I call?

 

Winter ❤️: Ok

 

"Sunduin mo na si Jeno dun sa office niya. I can go home by myself. Kakausapin ko lang si Winter and I don't want you listening sa harap ko." Mariin na sabi ko kay Yunjin.

 

"But I wanna hear! Jeno can take care of himself!"

 

I scowled at her, "Go na! Macoconscious ako!" Tinaboy ko na siya and finally, she gave up at umalis na rin but not without putting up a fight, "Bye!"

 

I cleared my throat muna before ko i-dial ang phone number ni Winter.

 

"Good morning." I greeted her.

 

I could hear ang kanyang pag uunat bago siya sumagot, "Morning.." She responded with her y and raspy voice but at the same time, she sounded tiny. Ang dami ko na kaagad nasabi sa boses pa lang niya.

 

"Did you sleep well?" Napapakagat pa ako sa aking labi. I got it bad.

 

She hummed, "Mmh. Saan ka?" Tinanong niya kung nasaan ako! Ano ba yan, bakit ba ako kinikilig? Muntik sumala ang inom ko sa aking drink.

 

"Naglunch kami ni Yunjin.. Hindi ka pa hungry?" Kinuha ko yung tissue at pinaglaruan ito. I probably look like a fool habang nakangiti at nagpupunit ng tissue paper mag isa.

 

"Gutom na.. May lunch kami ng workmates ko maya-maya. Baka doon na ako kumain."

 

Napatigil ako sa pagpupunit ng tissue at sumimangot, "Ohh..? So kasama mo si.." Okay, ayokong maging unreasonably jealous dahil technically, Winter and I aren't back together yet pero kasi...

 

Olivia makes my blood boil, especially after niyang sabihin yung kanyang sinabi sa Tagaytay last time, "She’s just gonna leave you when things get hard for her again, Win. So good luck being with that kind of person."

 

She doesn't know what I've been through kaya wala siyang karapatan na sabihin ito about sa akin. She doesn't even know me.

 

"Sino?" Winter asked. Psh, as if naman hindi niya kilala yung tinutukoy ko! Is she being playful? Alam naman niya na nagseselos ako doon sa babaeng 'yon.

 

"You know who.." I answered with my low voice.

 

Natawa siya, "Si Renjun?"

 

I chuckled as well, "Why? Does Renjun like you too?"

 

"Oo, happy crush niya raw ako eh." What?! Napasimangot nanaman ako.

 

Ano ba! Bakit lahat na lang? "Why does everybody like you?" Mahina kong tanong, I don't even know kung narinig ako ni Winter, "Go na.. Magready ka na for your lunch kasama yung mga may crush sayo."

 

Cringe.

 

"Okay.."

 

I pouted, "Huy.."

 

"Mmh? Sabi mo go na?"

 

"Oo nga.. but.." Nakanguso pa rin ako. I heard Winter's loud laugh sa kabilang linya. I'd be offended if I didn't find it comforting and cute, "Bakit ka tumatawa? Are you laughing at me?" I feigned annoyance.

 

I could almost see her shake her head, "Hindi.. Naalala ko lang yung sinabi ni Yunjin sa akin nung nagpunta ako sa condo niya nung.. nung nabalian ka."

 

"What did she say?"

 

Natawa ulit si Winter before siya sumagot, "Marami ka na raw time mag-inarte kasi isa na lang yung job mo at hindi ka na busy."

 

Napaka bruhilda talaga ni Yunjin! But I'm thankful for her nung time na 'yon kasi she posted my sprained hand on Instagram...

 

Pumunta tuloy si Winter.

 

Kinikilig pa rin ako kapag naaalala ko ito.

 

 

"Karina! Okay ka lang?!" Chaeyeon went to my side after I screamed in pain.

 

I tried to stand up but I couldn't, "No.. I missed a step dun sa ladder. Nasandal ko yung kamay ko against sa rocks. I think I sprained my wrist." Nag-try pa ako na i-move ito but it burns. "Malayo pa ba tayo?" Nakita ko si Eunbi na may tinatawagan, si Sir siguro.

 

"Wag mong igalaw yung hand mo, okay? Baka mas lumala. Let's wait for help. Hindi naman yata tayo kalayuan from the site's office." Chaeyeon was holding me pero iniiwasan niyang mahawakan yung kamay ko na nabalian.

 

I could only nod in pain, "Thank you, Chae.."

 

Later on ay dumating yung medic na provided for the team. I was brought to the clinic at hindi na ako pinag-field ni Sir kinabukasan. Yunjin picked me up from Bataan at inuwi niya ako sa kanyang condo since nasa work trip si Mama.

 

Goodness, isn't this the worst week ever?

 

First, Winter basically told me to off, tapos ngayon nabalian naman ako. Hay! Well... She didn't really tell me to ' off' pero parang ganon na nga.

 

It hurt, if I was being honest. Akala ko kasi okay lang since nagrerespond naman siya sa mga texts ko. I guess I went overboard with how I reacted towards her closeness kay Olivia. Hindi ko na lang talaga napigilan ang sarili ko.

 

She was bringing her meds... Inisip ko kaagad something must have been going on between them. I panicked, kaya ayun.

 

"Karina, I don’t think dapat natin pag usapan yung ganyan. Hindi nga rin okay na naguusap tayo sa call ngayon. Or kahit sa texts."

 

Her words felt venomous, and I felt bad that I was probably disturbing her peace, so I didn't text her anymore. I haven't texted her until now, and it's killing me.

 

But it is what it is.

 

Maybe she's really moving on from me.

 

At wala na akong magagawa kung hindi hayaan siyang kalimutan ako. And maybe move forward with that annoying girl Olivia. Baka mali ako ng inisip na hindi siya interested dun sa girl...

 

"Yeji is coming over tomorrow. Dadalaw daw siya." I heard Yunjin say from the kitchen, "How is she and Hyewon, by the way? Parang ang malas niya sa love life. Kaya siguro exes kayo." She laughed at her own joke.

 

"Go lang kamo. Miss ko na siya. And I think okay naman na sila ni Hyewon. Some people just aren't meant to be.. Look at Ning and Giselle." I still feel sad sa nangyari sa mga kaibigan ni Winter.

 

Yunjin looked at me over her shoulder, "Parang kayo lang ni Winter?"

 

Siguro nga...

 

The ache I felt from the thought na hindi kami meant to be ni Winter is more painful kaysa sa sprain ko sa aking kamay.  

 

Yunjin must have noticed my silence kaya lumapit siya sa akin sa couch. Akala ko naman icocomfort ako, but she took her phone out at nakipagselfie sa akin, "Mag sad face ka for the selfie bilis." Utos niya.

 

Nagtaka ako, "What for?"

 

"Basta!"

 

I rolled my eyes first before posing like a sad little puppy. Pinost niya ito sa story niya and she was giggling habang may kachat sa phone. I got up from the couch at pumunta sa kwarto, "I'm taking a rest muna."

 

"Alrighty!" Bakit ang saya ng mood niya? "Magpapa-grab ako ng food natin. Pati nung meds mo. Go take a rest na." I nodded.

 

Sana all masaya ang mood.

 

All I've been doing lately is mope dahil sa nangyari sa amin ni Winter. Magsosorry pa ba ako? Kaso ayaw niya nga na nagtetext ako, so what's the use? Baka mistorbo ko lang ang moments nila ng Olivia niya.

 

Gusto kong maiyak!

 

Not because of my hand but because I might really lose Winter.

 

I was browsing through our photos together when my stomach started growling. Nagugutom na ako. Bakit ang tagal ng pagkain na inorder ni Yunjin?!

 

"Yun! Ang sakit na ng kamay ko!" Of course, paanong hindi sasakit eh kanina ko pa binobrowse ang photos ng ex ko? " Sabi mo nagpabili ka sa grab ng meds! Bakit ang tagal!"

 

Hindi siya sumagot. What the hell is she doing out there? Parang may kausap pa si gaga. Tumawag siguro kay Jeno.

 

I heard the door open and I was ready to scold Yunjin sa kabagalan niya but then I saw Winter. I swear para akong na-speechless. Ang ganda niya talaga...

 

"Hi." She sounded so shy and small, and I wanna give her a bone-crushing hug but I can't. Baka mamaya kaya siya nandito ay dahil tatapusin niya na talaga ang lahat between us. My God... Wag naman sana.

 

I couldn't help but call out her name, "Winter.." For a while there ay nakalimutan kong injured nga pala ako. I was gonna move to greet her properly pero naigalaw ko ang kamay ko bigla, "Ouch! !" Parang mapuputol ito sa sakit.

 

Pero bigla naman akong parang gumaling when Winter went over to my side na nakakunot ang noo, looking so precious and worried, "Bakit? Saan masakit?" She caressed my hand softly and I couldn't take my eyes off of her, "Namamaga na oh.. Ano ka ba, hindi ka kasi nag iingat.."

 

Ang lambing lambing ng tono niya.

 

Para akong matutunaw.

 

Nakalimutan niya ba na kaya siya nagpunta dito para tapusin ang lahat sa amin? Wait, yun ba ang pinunta talaga niya? Mukhang hindi naman... with the way she's being concerned sa akin.

 

Parang anytime mabu-blurt out ko na mahal ko siya. I was able to hold myself back and instead, nakangiti lang ako habang pinagmamasdan niya ang injured kong kamay.

 

When she glanced back at me, naconscious yata siya sa tingin ko kaya abruptly ay binitawan niya ang kamay ko, "Aray! Winter!" I winced in pain, pero hindi ako galit. Para nga akong bata na nadapa. Naka pout pa ako.

 

She said sorry immediately at kinuha yung meds ko from the table. Siya rin ang nagpainom sa akin ng tubig... Okay lang bang kiligin? Or masyado akong maharot kapag ganon? I still don't know why she's here.

 

But then as time went by, I slowly realized na she's here just because gusto niya akong alagaan. At least that's why I think she's here.

 

Kilala ko si Winter... Maraming beses niya akong inalagaan nung best friends pa kami. And this feels like one of those moments na she genuinely wants to take care of me.

 

Para akong nauubusan ng hangin sa aking dibdib kapag sinusubuan niya ako ng food at pinapainom ng drink. Did she really go here para gawin ito para sa akin? Kasi kung oo, then what does that mean?

 

Mahal niya pa ba ako?

 

Wow naman, Karina. What a way to assume things! Mahal talaga? Parang ang far-fetched naman yata nung inisip ko.

 

"Pahinga ka na muna. Wag mo masyadong igalaw yung kamay mo." Tinulungan niya akong mahiga sa bed. She was so careful and calculated, parang ayaw niya talaga na masaktan ako. Tapos inasikaso niya rin ang mga pinagkainan ko.

 

I missed her so much.

 

Is it too much to hope na sana ganito na lang ulit kami palagi?

 

After a few minutes of full silence, bigla siyang nagsalita, "Sorry sa nasabi ko last time, Karina. Hindi ko sinasadya." I almost couldn't hear her dahil sa hina ng boses niya. I was facing her back, tingin ko it's still awkward for her to look at me in the eyes.

 

I told her she didn't have anything to apologize for, and that she had all the right to feel that way. I was the one na naging selfish.

 

What she said next almost had me choking.

 

"Olivia tried to kiss me."

 

Parang nag glitch ang buong paligid ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Hindi ako makagalaw at hindi ako makapagsalita kaagad. It took everything in me to let out a response, "Oh.. Okay.." I could hear the pain in my own voice.

 

Tinanong ko siya kung natuloy ba. I did a happy dance in my head nang mabilis siyang sumagot ng "Hindi. Umiwas ako."

 

"She likes you." I jabbered.

 

Obvious naman kasi na gusto siya ni Olivia, and I can't really blame the girl for liking Winter dahil she's really easy to fall in love with.

 

However, it feels a lot different pala kapag na-confirm...

 

"Oo.. Umamin siya sa akin. Gusto niya raw ako."

 

"Do you like her back?"

 

Please say no. Please say n—

 

"Hindi." Happy dance! Happy dance! "I told her na hanggang friends lang. Pero gusto niya akong mag reconsider."  

 

Reconsider? Well... That's possible. Siguro nga hindi siya gusto ni Winter sa ngayon, pero what if madevelop ang ex ko sa kanya? They seem close, and Winter seems comfortable sa presence niya.

 

I'm not going to ignore that possibility.

 

"What if one day magustuhan mo siya? Everything is possible." I voiced out my worry, "What happened to us.. I know it hurt you big time. I wouldn't blame you if you consider being with anyone else, Win."

 

I want her to know that I will never force her into trying it out with me again kung talagang magustuhan niya si Olivia. But I also wouldn't back down without a fight. She deserves that.

 

 "But I'll fight for you this time no matter how long it takes. If you let me." I added with confidence.

 

We were interrupted by a call from her driver yata. Okay na rin, at least she didn't feel the need to respond sa aking sinabi. Although I know she got my point and message.

 

After she left the room, Yunjin barged in matapos ang ilang minuto. Nagkatinginan kami at sabay kaming tumili nang malakas.

 

 

“Sige na.. Magaayos na ako.”

 

I got out of my trance, “Already? Maaga pa naman.”

 

“Kanina pa kaya kita tinatawag pero hindi ka sumasagot..” If I didn’t know any better, I’d say na parang may pagtatampo sa kanyang boses. And it’s really adorable. I wish nakikita ko siya ngayon.

 

Hay! Eto nanaman ako sa pag-iimagine ko. Lagi na lang lumilipad ang isip ko.

 

“May iniisip kasi ako.” I replied.

 

“Ahh..” Akala ko pa hindi na siya magsasalita ulit, “Anong iniisip mo?” Napangiti ako dahil she’s trying to make a conversation now, unlike before na one-word replies lang siya.

 

I bit my lip again before answering, napangiti nanaman ako, “Ikaw lang naman palagi kong iniisip.” Oh my goodness…

 

I heard her low chuckle on the phone, “Baliw. As if naman..”

 

“Why? Hindi ka ba naniniwala? Who else would I think about?” Hindi siya sumagot. Napakunot ang aking noo, bringing the phone closer to my ear, “Huy.. You think I’m thinking about anyone else?” I could never.

 

“Si ano—“ Napatigil siya, “Nevermind. Babangon na ako. Baka ma-late ka na rin sa work mo, sige na.”

 

Sino raw? May pinagseselosan ba siya?

 

I sighed, not really wanting to drop the call just yet hangga’t hindi niya ineexplain yung sinabi niya, but she sounded like she really does need to go already, “Okay, sige..” I conceded.

 

She dropped the call.

 

Winter is still cautious, alam ko naman yun. It’s very obvious. And she probably doesn’t trust me with her feelings yet dahil nga sa nangyari, hence nanghingi siya ng time pa.

 

And thinking about it… It makes me sad, sometimes. Knowing that she’s scared and she lost her trust sa akin, but that’s understandable. I’ll wait until she can fully trust me again.

 

Maguusap pa rin kaya kami once she starts her new project sa kanyang work?

 

I sure hope so.

 

Pero kung hindi, then I’ll be patient.

 

With a little mix of crankiness siguro kasi mami-miss ko siya, for sure.

 

The ball is in her court now, but I'll keep showing her na she will always be the one for me at wala nang iba pa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just got home from a very tiring day sa work.

 

Minsan iniisip ko kung worth it pa ba yung salary sa pagod ng field works dun sa pinapasukan kong trabaho sa Makati.

 

I don't even like field works, napilitan lang talaga akong pumasok sa research institute na 'to because I didn't really have much of a choice. Ngayong hindi ko naman na kailangan kumayod nang sobra, I'm thinking of leaving.

 

Yeji offered na ipasok ako doon sa work niya ngayon sa Upwork. Ang laki ng sweldo niya, and the job offers stability tapos may benefits din.

 

Mas okay pa doon sa pinapasukan ko a Makati.

 

I'm contemplating...

 

The pay is really good. I mean, ten dollars per hour?! Wala akong makukuhang ganon even sa Manila. Tapos malaki yung chance na makuha ako since puro mga taga UP lang daw ang hina-hire and sure pass kapag nirecommend ng trusted na employee.

 

I'll think about this after my contract sa Makati. Malapit naman nang matapos.  

 

"Oh Rina, you look tired. Galing ka ba sa field?" Mama asked. Pinagluluto niya kami ng dinner sa kitchen.

 

I don't know what came over me nang puntahan ko siya sa kusina at yakapin nang mahigpit, "Ma.. Are you okay? Hindi mo na need magluto, we can just order food sa grab. Pagod ka rin naman sa work."

 

I heard her breathy laugh, "I'm okay, anak. Don't worry about me. Gusto kong pinagluluto ka. I want you to still feel homey kahit tayong dalawa na lang, okay?"

 

"Ma.." She hummed in response, "If gusto niyo pong bigyan si Papa ng isa pang chance, I wouldn't hold it against you. He's your husband, and you must feel lonely without him. Ayoko pong malungkot kayo."

 

Kung ako ang tatanungin, sa ngayon, okay na sa akin na kaming dalawa na lang ni Mama. The trauma and pain that Papa caused me... Masyado pang malalim para mapatawad ko siya. He's my father, and I still love him, pero hindi ko yata siya kayang makasama ulit.

 

Pero kung gugustuhin ni Mama, then hindi ko naman siya masisisi. After all, sila yung magkasama my whole life. I just don't want to hold her back sa kung anong gusto niya just because iniisip niya na magagalit ako.

 

He's her husband, and he's probably the love of her life. Who just happened to be a very... ty man.

 

"Months ago you would have thrown tantrums!" Pabiro niyang sabi, natawa rin ako. She went serious moments after, "I'm proud of what you've become, have I told you that? Just the fact that you're willing to give him another chance again despite what he did."

 

"I'm doing it for you, Ma. Not for him."

 

People make mistakes all the time. I mean, I've also made a lot of mistakes. Nasaktan ko rin naman si Winter... At ngayon nanghihingi rin naman ako ng another chance.

 

I guess ang difference lang is Papa had a choice before to make things better, but he chose to be a coward piece of... , instead.

 

I didn't have that luxury.

 

I had to break mine and Winter's heart in the process.

 

Kaya siguro galit pa rin ako sa tatay ko. And that anger will stay with me for a very long time. But I'm not going to judge Mama kung gugustuhin niyang balikan si Papa.

 

"I know.." Sagot niya, "But.. not right now, anak. Maybe in the future? I don't know. Who knows. Nasaktan niya ako. Pero yung pinakamasakit para sa akin is he hurt you as well. I saw how hard it was for you and.. I can't forgive him for that just yet."

 

"Ma.." I sniffed, "Pinapaiyak mo ako."

 

Umalis siya ng pagkakayakap sa akin, "Ikaw rin!" She wiped her tears, "Nasusunog na yung adobo! Mamaya na tayo magdrama." Medyo amoy sunog na nga... "And by the way, nagpadala na ulit ang Papa mo sa bank ko pambayad ng utang."

 

"Mabuti naman po. At least may nagagawa na ulit siyang tama." Umiling lang si Mama at natawa.

 

While we were eating and talking about pastries na binigay ng Tita ko yesterday, naalala ko yung gusto kong i-discuss sa kanya.

 

"Ma.. Why don't you pursue yung dream mo na magkaroon ng bakeshop? You know it still can happen right? Wala nang kokontra sa plans mo." It's also one of the reasons why I wanna leave the research institute at kunin yung ten-dollar-per-hour job na inooffer ni Yeji.

 

She looked skeptical, "I don't know, anak.. Malaking capital yata ang need for that. We're still paying the debt.."

 

I nodded, "Yeah, pero matatapos naman na yun. Papa is making big money to finish off the debt. As he should, by the way." Umikot ang mata ko, "But we can sell the condo.. Tapos magtayo ka ng bakeshop mo sa LB. I'll take the job that I told you about. I can help."

 

She wasn't answering pero kita ko sa kanya na she's considering it. Alam kong gusto niya rin and that's enough for me sa ngayon.

 

Nagsalita siya before we finished eating, "Okay, fine. I'm considering." I grinned widely, "But give me more time to think about it. May ilan months ka pa rin naman sa work mo."

 

"Okay, Ma."

 

"How's Winter, by the way?" She asked suddenly. I could sense ang kanyang teasing tone, "The last I heard sa Mama niya, nasa field daw. She must really love her job."

 

Tumango lang ako, "Opo.. Nasa Palawan siya, two weeks na." At miss na miss ko na ang... ex ko! Tapos hindi pa siya masyadong nakakapagtext since she's really busy nga.

 

Or...

 

Baka naman ayaw lang niyang magtext?

 

Sakto naman sa thoughts ko ang biglang pag ring ng aking phone. I excused myself kay Mama at pumasok na ng kwarto muna to answer the call.

 

Winter calling...

 

Oh my god! Finally. It's been a week.

 

"Hello?" I answered excitedly.

 

"Hi.." Aww, parang pagod ang boses niya. "Sorry hindi ako nakakasagot sa mga texts mo, sobrang busy lang sa field. Wala rin signal masyado."

 

Ay, nagexplain. Although she doesn't really have to, pero nakakakilig pa rin. Grabe lang ang pagka-kilig ko sa bare minimum. Ganito ba talaga kapag binabalikan ang ex? Second chance, tapos twice rin ang effect?

 

"It's okay.. I'm just glad you're okay. Have you been eating well? Taking care of yourself?" I hope she is.

 

"Mmh, kapagod lang.. May two weeks pa ako dito." I heard her yawn, it's cute. "Ikaw? Kamusta ka na?" Napapasipa ako sa kama. What the hell.

 

"I'm okay. Now that you called." I replied honestly, "I miss you." Hindi siya kaagad nakasagot. I had to check my phone kung nawala ba yung call pero on going pa rin naman. "Sorry.. Was that too much?"

 

She answered quickly, "Hindi. Uhm.. I miss you too, Karina."

 

Parang mabubutas ang kama ko sa kakasipa ko dito. Hindi ko naman kasi inexpect ang kanyang sagot. I only told her that I missed her dahil gusto kong malaman niya. Hindi ako nageexpect for her to say it back.

 

"You do?" I fished for more.

 

Natawa lang siya sa kabilang linya, "Anyway.." Natawa na rin ako sa pagbabago niya ng topic, "Alam mo ba.. Ang ganda dito sa Palawan. Ikaw yung—" Napatigil siya.

 

I raised my brow, "Ako yung ano?"

 

"Ikaw yung naalala ko nung pagdating ko dito." She said so softly and so quietly, na para bang she was still trying to protect herself and be wary but at the same time, she wanted to be honest with me.

 

Medyo naluluha ako, "Talaga?"

 

"Oo.. Naalala ko kasi dati sabi mo gusto mong magpunta sa Palawan." I did say that. Sabi ko sa kanya, gusto kong magtravel doon sa lugar kasama siya. That's why it's making me tear up dahil ako yung naisip niya when she got there.

 

I wiped the happy tears that were about to fall before sumagot, "Yeah.. with you.."

 

"Mmh. Maybe next time." Is she implying that... ahhh! Ayoko munang mag-assume nang mag-assume ngayon, "Sige, matutulog na ako ha. Ikaw rin, pahinga ka na."

 

Hays, I badly want to tell her how much I love her. Pero ayoko muna siyang biglain. "Good night, Win. Take care diyan, okay? I'm.. Uhm.. I'm happy you called."

 

"Okay.. Ingat ka rin diyan.." Ako na ang nagbaba ng call dahil parang anytime makakatulog na siya sa pagod.

 

Grabe lang, lahat ng exhaustion ko from work, napawi dahil lang sa isang tawag from Winter. I feel like kaya ko na ulit mag field kahit sunod-sunod na araw pa! I'm just so happy na narinig ko ulit ang boses niya.

 

Tapos sinabi pa niya na she misses me.

 

Gusto kong maiyak sa tuwa.

 

Singles for Christ

 

Yujin: Guys...

 

Hyewon: Oh?

 

Yeji: Anong meron? Buntis ka?

 

Yunjin: Hahahaha preggo pala

 

Yujin: Baliw. Manghihingi lang ako ng advice kasi!

 

Karina: About?

 

Yujin: I-ask ko sana si Ning to be my date dun sa play ni Minju na pupuntahan natin.

 

Karina: Anong play ni Minju? Why don't I know about this?

 

Yunjin: Gaga sinabi ko sayo yan! Next next week yun. Busy kasi sa pagtetext kay Winter eh

 

Hyewon: @Yujin go for it. Parang bet ka rin naman

 

Yeji: Yeah. Ayusin mo lang wag kang parang shunga.  

 

I agree with Hyewon. Parang gusto rin naman ni Ning si Yujin based sa mga kwento niya sa amin. Winter's friend is receptive sa mga obvious advances ni Yujin sa kanya. Hell, naghoholding hands nga raw sila nang patago!

 

And I don't think wala lang ito kay Ning. Hindi niya naman siguro pinaglalaruan si Yujin. Her and Giselle seem to be both moved on from each other. Nakita ko rin kasi one time si Giselle sa Greenbelt kasama si Somi, magkaholding hands sila.

 

I guess some people really aren't meant to be.

 

It's sad to think about what happened sa mga kaibigan ni Winter, but that's just how things worked out for the both of them at tinanggap na lang siguro nila that they had to part ways.

 

Ayokong mangyari 'yon sa amin ni Winter...

 

Hindi ko hahayaan.

 

Yunjin calling...

 

"Ano yun?" Bungad ko sa kanya. Very different from how I answered Winter's call kanina. Natatawa na lang ako sa sarili ko.

 

"Go ka ba dun sa play ni Minju? Sa CCP 'yon. Next two weeks pa naman. I'm going to buy us tickets eh." Maybe Minju invited Yunjin since they've become friends naman.

 

Napaisip tuloy ako kung pupunta ba si Winter.

 

Nabanggit niya kasi na after Palawan, may a few days break siya before naman siyang magpunta sa Benguet for another field work. And she also mentioned earlier na two weeks na lang siya sa Palawan.

 

Shall I ask her?

 

Narinig ko ang singhal ni Yunjin, "Hoy! Zoning out ka nanaman!"

 

"Pupunta kaya si Winter?"

 

"I don't know. Hindi ko natanong si Minju. Why don't you ask her? And maybe gawin mo rin date like Yujin and Ning." Humalakhak ito nang malakas. Nakakarindi.

 

Maybe I'll text Winter about it...

 

I said bye na rin kay Yunjin and I told her na bilhan ako ng ticket. Feeling ko kasi pupunta si Winter, although I can't be sure dahil she might take that time para makapagpahinga. Pero kasi... they're close, so I'm hoping she'll come.

 

God, I remember the time na sobra akong magworry dahil si Minju yung laging nakakasama ni Winter before nung naguumpisa pa lang akong magtrabaho sa Manila. It was really bad for me, and my insecurity about myself was on the roof.

 

And that time when I got really mad kay Mama nung sinagot niya ang call ni Papa and she considered not closing the agency. Sobra pala talaga ang hatred sa heart ko before, and I didn't know how to handle my problems properly.

 

I'm just glad that somehow, I'm better now. At making decisions, adapting to situations, and siguro sa paghahandle na rin ng exhaustion and stress.  

 

Winter has really become one of my inspirations kung bakit ko gustong malagpasan nang maayos yung mga hinarap kong problema. Not a day had passed noon na hindi ko siya naiisip at naaalala.

 

Before matulog, nag-open ako ng Facebook. Una ko kaagad nakita yung tagged photos ni Winter. Kasama niya yung mga staff siguro na katrabaho niya sa site, as well as yung mga farmers.

 

She looks really happy.

 

Masaya siguro talaga siya sa kanyang ginagawa. She probably loves working with communities like this.

 

Hays.

 

I'm really, really proud of what she has become despite all the challenges and hardships that she went through. She deserves all the good things in life.

 

Me: I know nag goodnight na tayo kanina, pero gusto ko lang ulit mag text. Hehe

 

Me: Good night ☺️

 

Me: Sweet dreams po

 

Winter ❤️: Nagising ako sa text mo. Good night

 

Winter ❤️: Sweet dreams :)

 

Me: Ihhhh

 

I fell asleep replaying the moment we talked nung nasa Tagaytay kami, noong inilahad ko sa kanya lahat ng gusto kong sabihin.

 

 

Winter looks really good sa kanyang comfortable outfit for today's games. Her baggy pants and her fitted sleeveless shirt fit really well sa kanya.

 

I was about to raise my hand to get her attention when she tripped over dun sa hagdan. Olivia took the chance to hold her sa bewang para hindi mahulog si Winter. Akala niya hindi ko napansin yung sobrang pag kapit niya sa ex ko?!

 

At ang tagal niya pa bago alisin ang hawak kay Winter... May mga binulong pa siya dito that made my blood boil further. Para kasing inaasar niya ako dahil napapatingin rin siya sa akin while saying something sa tenga nung isa.  

 

Naiinis ako.

 

Hindi man lang alisin kaagad ni Win yung kapit sa kanya ng babaeng 'yon... Her gaze landed at me at iniwasan ko ang tingin niya. I don't want her to see me pissed.

 

"You okay?" Tanong sa akin ni Chaeyeon.

 

Pilit akong ngumiti, "Yup. I'm just nervous about the games. I feel competitive all of a sudden." Sorry, Winter, pero gusto ko kayong matalo dahil nasa team niyo si Olivia!

 

Way to be childish.

 

My bad mood faded away nung gumabi na at makita ko si Winter na naka dress. I saw her checking me out din kanina, though hindi niya masyadong pinahalata but I noticed! Dahil nga hindi rin naman nawawala ang tingin ko sa kanya.

 

After the party, nakita ko siya na umalis ng venue kasama si Olivia. Hindi na ako mapakali sa seat ko, I kind of wanted to know kung ano ang pinaguusapan nila.

 

What if Winter actually gives her a chance? What if kinonsider nga talaga niya to try it out with Olivia? Ang dami nang possibilities ang pumapasok sa isip ko.

 

Pero...

 

it, Winter didn't look comfortable kanina. I just know it. Sa tinagal-tagal ko siyang kilala, I know when she doesn't feel comfortable sa tao or sa situation.

 

"Excuse lang, magpapahangin lang ako." I told my workmates. They didn't really pay me any attention at hinayaan lang akong lumabas, except kay Chaeyeon who looked worried, but I told her I'm fine.

 

The place isn't really that huge para hindi ko sila makita. What I saw made me frown kaagad dahil nakita ko ang paghila ni Olivia sa kamay ni Winter. She doesn't like it when people touch her out of nowhere.

 

"Winter." I called.

 

Parang yung mga nasa movies lang, feeling ko naman knight in shining armour niya ako sa moment na 'to.

 

Though I know she doesn't need any "saving" because she can handle herself. Ang tanong, does Olivia respect her space?

 

"Naguusap kami ni Winter. Can't you see?" Ginawa pa niya akong tanga. Of course I can! Nakakainis yung smirking face niya.

 

“I can. But it looks like ayaw ka naman kausapin ni Winter. She looks uncomfortable. Can’t you see?” I countered. Ayoko na sanang pumatol pa dahil ayoko naman mag-cause ng drama at alam kong ayaw ni Winter ng mga ganitong eksena.

 

But Olivia makes my skin crawl.

 

She didn't respond sa sinabi ko. She just shook her head na para bang disappointed siya kay Winter. “She’s just gonna leave you when things get hard for her again, Win. So good luck being with that kind of person.”

 

I felt the urge to punch her in the face.

 

Ano bang alam niya? She doesn't know what I've been through para sabihin niya ito sa akin. Kaso yung reaction ni Winter sa sinabi niya... It's like she believes what Olivia said. And although I get why, it hurts a lot na ganon ang iniisip niya.

 

I asked kung naniniwala ba siya sa sinabi ni Liv, but she didn't answer. Her silence was very telling—she does think it's going to happen.

 

But instead of moping and being sad over it, tinanong ko kung pwede kaming magusap. I've been wanting to have this talk with her since things got better, kaya lang alam ko naman na hindi pa rin siya handa.

 

Hopefully she listens to whatever I have to say ngayon. And kung ano man ang maging outcome, then I'll accept it with my whole heart.

 

We sat on the bench near where she and Liv were kanina. I gave her some space between us dahil ayokong masuffocate nanaman siya with my presence.

 

Tonight, I'll be straightforward. I want to be able to tell her everything.

 

"Win.. I’ve been acting all confident sayo these past few weeks. Pansin mo naman, right?" She nodded. And it's true, gusto kong makita niya na kaya ko siyang ipagbalan and I'm not backing down.

 

But the truth is... "I’m terrified that after everything that’s happened, napagod ka na na sumugal sa akin—sa atin."  

 

Na kahit pa pwede na, baka dumating na siya sa point na she's had enough, and she just wants to move forward without me. That's really what I've been thinking about lately, especially at night when I can't sleep while thinking about her.

 

"Natatakot ako.." She confirmed my worry. I looked at her sadly, telling her quietly that I know what she's feeling.

 

I composed myself again, trying to find the right words to say. Ayokong maging plastik sa kanya, at mas lalong ayokong magpaawa just for the sake na balikan niya ako. I just want to be truthful. Like really, really honest.

 

So I told her how life has been treating me and Mama well lately. That I don't live an unhealthy lifestyle anymore just to get by. She didn't show, but I'm certain she's happy to hear those words from me.

 

"But it doesn't feel like it—like it's getting better—because you’re not with me, Winter. I can't find it in myself to be happy because I know I've hurt you." How can one be happy knowing they hurt the love of their life in the process, diba?

 

It is getting better. But it just doesn't feel like it is, because she's not by my side. And what I'm about to say may seem like the make or break of our relationship—may it be as best friends, friends, girlfriends, or exes—but I know I can't wake up another day not asking her for another chance.

 

And so I did.

 

"I'll take as many chances I can get as long as it's with you." She started crying after I said that. Bakit siya umiiyak? Dahil ba... she still feel things for me? Dahil ba dama niya yung honesty ko at yung willingness ko na magtry ulit kami?

 

Binida ko pa sa kanya na kaya ko nang harapin yung mga bagay na dati ay hindi ko kaya. That I feel like I'm stronger now after what happened. And I know she's not saying anything, pero ramdam ko sa kanya na proud siya sa akin.

 

Breaking up with her was the hardest thing that I've ever done in my life, but it helped me become the person I am today.

 

"I wouldn't blame you kung iisipin mo yung sinabi ni Olivia. Siguro nawalan ka na ng tiwala sa akin.. But I promise you, and I'm giving you my word, I'm never leaving you again. If you’d just give me another chance to prove myself.." I whimpered, "I'm so sorry for hurting you."

 

It caught me off guard when she suddenly moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulder. I can't believe that after everything, she still never fails to comfort me kahit alam kong nasasaktan pa siya.

 

I didn't waste any moment at pinatong ko ang aking ulo sa kanyang balikat. She leaned closer to me and I could smell her cologne.

 

She laid bare her feelings as well. And just like me, grabe rin ang honesty sa kanyang boses. It meant everything to me nang sabihin niya na hindi niya ako nireresent sa nangyari. Because honestly? That's what I thought was going to happen.

 

That she was going to hate me, and she was going to think the worst of me.

 

But this is Winter.

 

Of course she understood why I did what I had to do.  

 

"I want nothing but to take you back in my arms ora mismo." She said, her voice laced with so much vulnerability. I'm sensing na may kasunod na 'but' sa kanyang sinabi, pero hindi ako nangangamba at natatakot.

 

Kasi feeling ko, kung anong maging desisyon niya, it's what's going to be for the best para sa kanyang sarili at para sa aming dalawa, just like nung ginawa ko seven months ago when I broke up with her.

 

"Pero nandon pa rin yung sakit." I closed my eyes tightly, I can still feel my tears bursting out of my eyes, "Naiintindihan ko bakit mo ako kailangan iwan noon, and I never hated you for it, but the pain still lingers."

 

I get why she feels that way. Kahit yung pagbe-blame ko sa sarili ko dahil sa nangyari even though I have my reasons, nandiyan pa rin, still looming over my head.

 

That's why when she asked for more time, I didn't hesitate na ibigay ito sa kanya. Hindi ako nagmatigas at nagpumilit, dahil alam kong kailangan niya ito—kailangan namin ito.

 

"I'll wait for you. I promise I'll be here. Hindi ako aalis. Just.. please come back to me, Winter. And please don't love anybody else.." I begged.

 

She doesn't need to say anything, dahil yung halik niya sa noo ko, I know it meant na ako lang din ang mamahalin niya.

 

God, I love her so much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This coming weekend na yung play ni Minju sa CCP, and I still haven't asked Winter kung pupunta ba siya. Hindi rin kasi siya responsive sa mga texts ko dahil malamang ay busy pa rin siya sa field.

 

I think pauwi na siya tomorrow. Ika-one month na kasi niya sa Palawan. Sana may surprise call ulit siya sa akin soon. And by soon, I meant tonight. Gusto ko na ulit marinig ang boses niya. Parang ang tagal na nung huli kaming mag usap.

 

"Sama ka sa team dinner?" I asked Eunbi. Kanina ko pa siya napapansin na matamlay. "Oks ka lang? Under the weather ka yata today."

 

Nagpeprepare na kami para umalis ng office. Nagyaya sina Chaeyeon na magdinner tonight nang hindi kasama yung boss namin. I never really got to join them sa mga labas nila before dahil nga sobrang busy ako kaya sumasama ako sa kanila lately.

 

Eunbi stood up at kinuha ang bag, sinabayan niya akong maglakad palabas, "Remember the ex that I was telling you about?" I nodded, "Nagpaparamdam na siya ulit!" Halos sabunutan nito ang sarili.

 

I could only chuckle. Ang dami palang nagta-try mag comeback lately. I should give her ex a high five dahil we're on the same b

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jmjwrites
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dumbbbfriday #1
Chapter 42: sOBRANG ROLLER COASTER RIDE NG BUONG STORY PLS, ANSAYA NG PUSO KO. LEGIT NA NAPAPAPADYAK AKO SA SAHIG KAPAG KILIG MOMENTS NILA. LALO NA NUNG NAGIGING OKAY NA SILA AFTER BREAK UP HUHUHUHU
katarinapsyche #2
‘wag mong i-delete ‘to, ‘thor, ha.
katarinapsyche #3
isang taon at last month ko pa ‘tong sinusubukan basahin. hahaha, hindi ko pa kaya. may lumbay pa rin talaga.
Sofia_Torres #4
Is there an English version of this story?
wintoee #5
Chapter 10: need ko ng assurance
dumbbbfriday #6
Chapter 28: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
seulreneislife #7
Chapter 5: ang ty na friend ni rina lol, di ko masasabi sa bestie ko pinagsasabi nya
seulreneislife #8
Chapter 3: Wait halfway palang ako sa pagbasa ng chap three pero GRRRRR KABANAS TALAGA UGALI NI RINA DITO😇 bilib din talaga ako kay winter, pati sa pride nya na almost non existent kung ako yan FO na HAHAHA tangina lang, alam kong level 1 palang tong nararamdamn ko dahil nagsisimula palang 🤺
omg ngayon ko lang nanotice almost 5k pala comments dito, i wonder if nagbabasa parin si author ng mga new comments
seulreneislife #9
Chapter 2: Challenge ko sa sarili ko magreread pero pakshet chap 2 palang di na kinakaya🧎‍♀️
rinagerie
11 streak #10
Chapter 4: rereading. naiiyak pa din talaga ako. grabe nakailang chapters palang naman ako 😭 kamiss masaktan