“Oh, Byulyi-ah… Come in!”

I immediately scrambled from my floor mattress and crawled towards my bedroom door, bringing along with me my phone and my blanket that got tangled with my feet. Why does she have to come here when I’m off from work?

When I heard from my sisters that Byul had already visited them, I purposely packed my schedules in one week. My manager was looking at me weirdly when I proposed the schedule myself. It didn’t matter if I had no rest day in between shoots. I just wanted to avoid running into Byul by the time I predicted for her to visit my parents.

I first heard that Byul was here in Korea from Yong when we met at work. For three months after I left New York, I expected that she’d send me a long apology letter. Or maybe she would attempt to video call me. I might’ve forgiven her by that time but for three months I received nothing. Neither of the emails and calls.

That’s when I decided everything that we had was for nothing. Maybe she had too much pride to apologize to a nobody like me. She called me her trophy woman and accused me as a and a for heaven’s sake!

I was really mad. Beyond mad. And extremely hurt.

By impulse, I told Yong that I wanted to be signed under an agency. I thought that I’d be having more projects through this. I wanted to be distracted. I wanted to get over Byul. She helped me with the contracts and had her attorney reviewed it with me. I got signed. I have more projects.

And then Yong told me about Byul and her sisters being in Korea.

I acted like it didn’t interest me but I was beyond curious and Yong obviously saw that. She told me what Byul was doing at their place and even said to me that Byul had plans to properly court me. And then I got texts from Jessi, Hyori and Junghwa at the same time, saying that Byul wanted to meet them. That threw me out of a frenzy.

Junghwa secretly recorded their conversation and then sent it to me. I heard her arguing with Jessi and trying to protect Seulgi, who intervened to protect Byul from Jessi. I heard her confession and her plans of marrying me. I heard the same thing from my sisters when she went to visit them too.

Byul apologized to my friends and sisters for hurting me and declared her intentions to me. She was silent for three months and suddenly came here with this.

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Ahn. My sisters baked some pastries and sweets this morning and so I brought some with me”

It’s definitely her! That’s definitely her voice.

“Thank you, Byulyi” I heard my Mom say.

Their voices were getting closer to my room and I imagined them heading to the kitchen.

Chairs were being pulled and moved now from the dining area. I think they stopped in the dining area while Mom was the only one who headed to the kitchen. And the dining area is just close to my room.

I slowly and silently turned the doorknob before cracking my door open. I peeked over the crack and closed one eye to see them clearly. I saw Dad and then there’s Byul wearing an oversized hoodie. Her hair that was once silver fell past her shoulders but I couldn’t see her face because her back was to me.

She looks good from the back. She might probably look good from the front too and I’m very curious about that.

“Hyejin is still sleeping in her room”

At the mention of my name, I hid behind my door again and slowly closed the door.

“Oh, she’s here?” Byul asked, definitely surprised.

“Should I wake her up?” Dad asked and I could hear a chair being pulled back.

“Oh, no. Please don’t, sir”

Her sudden protest made me raise an eyebrow.

“I’m sure she needs her rest from working, sir. Also, I came to talk to you and Mrs. Ahn and not Hyejin. I didn’t expect she’d be here. I thought she went back to Seoul already”

“Okay… Hyejin told us about your mother. We’re sorry for your loss. Were you able to receive the eggs we packed for your family?”

“Thank you and yes, Mr. Ahn” Byul answered, releasing a shaky breath.

She’s nervous.

“We offer our sincere condolences to you and your family”

“Thank you, Mrs. Ahn”

It was quiet for a moment.

I changed my position and sat sideways on the door. I leaned my ear on the door with my eyes closed and my eyebrows furrowed, straining to hear the rest of their conversation. I heard a faint sound of a chair being pulled back again and ceramics lightly clinking against each other.

“How are you, Byulyi-ah?” Mom asked.

She always calls Byul’s name in an endearing way that she does when she also calls us. I heard this same tone from Mrs. Moon all the time when she called my name back when they visited me and Byul in my apartment.

“Hyejin told us that you were having a hard time,” Dad added.

Byul took a second to answer. “It was really difficult, mam. I thought I was prepared. We were already preparing for her passing when we found out that she’s sick. I don’t think anyone could be prepared after losing someone important”

There’s that vulnerability in her voice she only showed when it was just the two of us in her room. My heart still aches for her after losing her Mom. I think that part won’t go away no matter what the situation is. Even when I don’t want to talk to her or see her right now. I’d still feel a part of that ache she felt for losing her mother.

“But I’m getting better now. My sisters and Dad helped a lot” Byul said, her voice a little brighter now.

“That’s good to know,” Mom said.

“I remembered back when Hyejin lost her grandmother,” Dad said, making me pout behind the door. Then Dad’s voice suddenly turned animated when he said, “She cried a lot and whined like she was Aecha’s age now when she’s already twenty-four at that time? Twenty-five? She used that to bribe her mother to visit her in Seoul and demand her mother to cook all her meals”

“Why does he have to say that?” I whispered under my breath, silently groaning when I heard them laughing in the dining area.

“Jokes aside…” Dad said after their laughter slowly died down. “Those were the times when she missed her grandmother a lot. She got scared that we might follow her Grandma really soon and just wanted to spend time with us”

“She was also having a hard time,” Mom said this time.

“Hyejin told my youngest sister, Hana, that if she misses her grandmother, she only looks at the stars and talks to her. That’s what she also suggested to Hana to calm her down at my Mom’s burial.” Byul sighed heavily before she whispered, “She was really holding all of us together at that moment and I will be forever thankful to her”

I had to focus so hard just to hear that last part.

She suddenly cleared before she said, “I’m actually here to tell you about a few things, Mr. and Mrs. Ahn. At the time that Hyejin was there to help me and my family, I did something and also said harsh words I never meant. I don’t think she told you about this”

“No. She said that you needed time, that’s why she flew back here earlier than we expected” mother said.

“It was not because of that, mam. It was because of me. Wheein and Yong, her friends and even sisters told me that she was deeply hurt by what I did and I’m here to apologize for that.” There were movements on their end that made me imagine Byul standing up now before she said, “I’m really sorry for hurting your daughter”

“I think that matter needs to be resolved between you two” Dad suggested.

“Yes, sir. I’ll talk to Hyejin to apologize, but I’m also here for another reason”

“Please sit down, Byulyi. You’re bowing long enough already”

“I—Ahh… Yes, mam. Sorry…”

“No need to apologize”

“So—”

Mom and Dad laughed at Byul’s another attempt for an apology. Behind my door, a smile managed to occupy my lips at the image of her getting so flustered. Probably looking worse than when I introduced her to my family.

“Okay…” Byul released another loud sigh before she cleared . “I am also here to ask both of your permission to properly court your daughter. I think you might’ve heard about my reputation, sir, mam. That I… Uhm… About the people I have slept with”

The last words were something Byul had to force out of herself. I even had to figure out the rest of her words and was tempted to crack the door open again because everything came out of her in a whisper.

“I kind of built a reputation I wished didn’t exist before I met Hyejin”

“But Hyejin doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. I think it’s also not right for us to judge just by that information” Mom said, sounding more concerned than disgusted. “I admit, when my two older daughters told me about who you are, which also included that information, it didn’t settle right with me. But we know that Hyejin is a good judge of character so if she trusts you, we shouldn’t question that”

“My wife and I aren't bothered that a woman is courting our daughter. I’m mostly concerned about your multiple engagements with different people” Dad said.

“About that… I asked my Dad to accompany me to get myself tested before coming here. I’m also concerned that my recklessness affected Hyejin. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I got tested in five different hospitals because I want Hyejin to be safe. They all said ‘negative’”

Was that what she’s been doing for the last three months? She got herself tested. Again?

She had assured me before that she’s safe and clean. Why does she have to be tested again? Was she lying that time?

“I blanked out when I got too wrecked after my Mom’s burial. I wanted to be sure I didn't do anything permanent those days before coming here to pursue my plans of courting Hyejin”

So that’s why…

“You’re not asking her hand for marriage, aren’t you?” Mom asked, which made me pout.

“No, mam. Not yet. I wanted to date her with the plans of marriage in mind”

Mom took a second before she responded, “When she brought you here for Christmas, I thought you were already together”

“No, we’re not, mam”

“Okay…” Mom whispered in disbelief.

“It’s good that you came here to ask our permission to court Hyejin. My sons-in-law didn’t even come here to ask permission to court my two older daughters. Jeonghoon came here to ask permission to marry Hyunjoo. Hajoon and Donghyun were a little bit of a rebel and came here to announce that they’re engaged already” Dad said with a soft chuckle while I silently laughed at my sisters’ shenanigans. “That is really Hyejin’s decision. If she rejects you or not, it’s all up to her. But by the time you’re asking my daughter’s hand for marriage, I demand you to come here and ask permission. Marriage is a different thing already”

“Yes, sir. I plan to do that as well but that’s a little too far from now. I still have to earn Hyejin’s trust again” Byul responded courtly.

“Let’s see if we’ll see each other by that time then”

“Thank you, sir” Byul said too eagerly while my Mom and Dad laughed, amused by her. “Is Hyejin staying here for now or does she have plans to go back to Seoul soon?”

“She said she wanted to stay here for now. Didn’t say anything about leaving yet but that girl changes her mind too often, so I’m not quite sure” Mom said while I glared at her from my bedroom when she indirectly teased me.

“Okay… I hope you don’t mind me dropping here frequently if she’s still staying here”

“It’s fine. Our days are filled with our usual chores. It’s good to have someone visit us from time to time”

“That’s good to know, mam.” Chairs were being pulled back before Byul said, “I should probably go. I don’t want to bother you much and I also left my sisters by themselves. They’re waiting for me to drive them around”

“Does she even know her way around here?” I asked myself, eyebrows scrunching and lips pouting from worry.

“Do you know you’re way around Jeonju?” Dad asked, voicing my question.

“We have GPS and my sister, Seulgi, is good with directions. I think we can manage, sir”

“Okay… If you need help on your way around, you can just ask help from us”

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir. Thank you. I’m sorry for visiting unannounced. I also hope you enjoy the one my sisters made. Jihye is good at baking and cooking. Shall be an amazing chef someday. Thank you again, Mr. and Mrs. Ahn”

“Come back more often, okay?”

“Yes, mam. I will. Thank you!”

They’re voices slowly faded far from my bedroom door. I could hear murmurs but that’s it. I couldn’t figure out what they were talking about anymore. The pride in Byul’s voice when she was boasting about Jihye’s cooking and baking was something that made me smile once again.

Hearing her voice after three months of silence from her made me sigh from confusion. I didn’t even find a single article about her in those three months. I thought I’d be mad when I saw her again. I left New York feeling very furious and insulted. Of course there was hurt but the longing was something I never expected. I still refuse to talk to her and see her.

I know I had enough after what she said that night but is that even really true?

Footsteps coming towards my bed distracted me away from my thoughts. I held my blanket and my phone, and from my crouch position by the door, I jumped straight to bed. I landed just in time when I heard a knock on my door. I had my eyes closed instantly while I fake snored, which I think they would notice right away. At least I tried…

“Hyejin…”

That’s Mom.

“I know you’re awake already” Mom said and I just snored louder, which she just scoffed at.

Mom wasn’t bothered much that I was faking sleep in front of her when she continued talking even when my back was still to her.

“Byul was here and brought treats that her sisters made. I tasted one of the cupcakes earlier and it was really delicious”

A small smile involuntarily appeared on my face. I timidly pushed my face on the pillow to hide my smile from Mom that I couldn’t seem to put away.

“Your Dad gave his permission for Byul to court you. It was sweet and thoughtful of her to ask us first, isn’t it?” Mom asked while I silently snorted and even had my eyes rolled at that.

Thoughtful? Any sane person would know that saying a woman is a and a would never be thoughtful. It’s all a facade. She even improved her game this time.

Yup, I’m bitter. Might be still mad at her.

Mom sighed behind my back before she whispered, “She’s gone thinner than the last time I saw her. She looked stressed and tired too. Even her smile couldn’t hide it”

I stopped fake snoring and slowly opened my eyes while my lips turned into a frown. I saw a glimpse of her earlier but her hoodie would never give away if she indeed got thinner. The bitterness in my chest was slowly accompanied by worry. Not worry for her but just worry in general.

“Don’t you want to talk to her or at least see her?”

“No…”

“Okay. Get up already. You still have to eat breakfast, Hyejin-ah”

I breathed deeply and stretched on my bed. The jump I did earlier worsened my already aching body from working straight without rest last week. I groaned and kicked the blanket to the side and stretched my body all over the bed.

“I’ll be there in a minute” I mumbled, my face distorted from the satisfying feeling of the stretch.

“I know you’ve been awake already” Mom said as she headed out of my room.

“I just woke up. What are you talking about?”

“Knowing you, you have probably eavesdropped on our conversation with Byul earlier” my Mom accused while I pouted at her from my sprawled out position on the mattress.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” I denied again.

Before Mom could exit my room, she held the door open and looked at me again. A sly smirk was on her face when she asked, “Did you peek at her?”

I looked away from her and pretended to look for my phone that’s already in my hand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” I mumbled, feeling myself blush from being caught.

“You did, didn’t you?”

I turned to my phone and pretended to check on my manager as I ignored Mom. I acted like I didn’t hear anything when Mom laughed at me as she closed the door. I dropped my phone on the mattress and glanced at my closed door. I dropped my head on my pillow and groaned loudly.

Why are they all teasing me?

My friends, who sounded so overprotective of me in the recording, called me after meeting Byul only to tease me. My sisters invited me to hangout with my nieces just to tease me too. Only Wheein and Yong were the only ones who didn’t tease me. It’s just that they’re very hopeful that I would forgive Byul because apparently, they like seeing us together, especially Wheein. And now, my parents too?

If I have to admit, I missed Byul too. I just can’t bring myself to talk to her again because of so many doubts, and mostly the pain.

It started with roses.

I was happily eating breakfast in our dining room when we heard the doorbell ring. I was about to get it but Mom told me that she’ll get it and to continue eating. I giggled with the bread in between my teeth as I sat back down again.

She was just ashamed of me opening the door with a toast still dangling in between my lips.

“Good morning, Mrs. Ahn”

I immediately got choked with the toast I was eating when I heard the familiar voice of Byul. I glanced at the clock in the dining room and my eyes widened at how early in the morning she decided to charge into our house.

“Byulyi-ah! Come in!”

“…” I whispered under my breath while I started to panic.

“I… Ah… It’s fine, mam. I just want to see Hyejin. Is she here?”

“…” I whispered again as I turned towards Mom and our eyes instantly locked.

“Someone’s here to see you” she said, not even trying to be discreet about it. She just directly asked me while she’s still standing directly in front of Byul.

I forced myself to swallow my toast before taking my time drinking water. Then I turned to Mom who’s already tired of waiting for me. I was only addressing Mom but I raised my voice so that the spoiled rich could also hear it directly from me.

“Please tell her I don’t want to see her, Mom”

Then I went back to eating my breakfast. Someone really has to ruin my perfect morning.

“I’m sorry, Byulyi-ah. She didn’t want to see you” Mom said to Byul.

My eyes and mouth were focused on my breakfast but my ears were trained on whatever’s happening in our front door.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Ahn. Can you please give this to her for me instead?” Byul said, not even bothered by my response.

“They’re pretty,” Mom whispered in delight.

I took a quick glance at what it was and saw a huge bouquet of red roses in my Mom’s arms. I went back to my breakfast, feeling a light blush creeping up my face. I found my eyes wandering over to the flowers that were still in Mom’s arms as I continued eating breakfast.

“Thank you, Mrs. Ahn. I’ll just come back tomorrow”

“At least eat breakfast before leaving”

Mom?!

I glared at my Mom while still chewing my food. She noticed me looking at her and just raised her eyebrows in a silent question. I shook my head and went back to eating breakfast.

“I take it she doesn’t want that either” Byul said, already figured out the exchange Mom and I had. “It’s fine, mam. I also had breakfast already. I kind of figured out she didn’t want to see me. I just wanted to try”

“She’s hard-headed and stubborn sometimes” Mom whispered, which I still heard and had me rolling my eyes as I finished breakfast.

“I should go. Thank you and good morning again, Mrs. Ahn”

“Take care, Byulyi-ah”

“You too, mam. Have a nice day ahead”

Mom closed the door before she returned to the dining table with the roses in her hand. She placed them right beside my plate before she headed to the backyard to tend to the chickens. “If you plan on throwing them out, leave them there and I’ll keep them for myself. You’re mad at the person. Don’t involve the poor flowers. They’re really pretty”

I sighed heavily and stared at the bright red roses. They are indeed pretty. I sighed at the flowers before a card caught my attention. I reached for it and turned it around, smirking at her awful handwriting.

From: Will you still call me your Mansaeng?
To: Will you allow me to still call you babe, Jin, Jinnie, Hyejinie?
I

I narrowed my eyes and held the card closer to me. There’s something written there that starts with the letter ‘I’ but I think she didn’t bother finishing it. I love you? I miss you? I hate you? It could be anything, really.

I left the roses on the table but kept the card with me. Then I carried my empty plate and headed to the kitchen to wash my used plates.

Another set of roses came the next day. Pink ones this time.

I was in the room when Byul came. Ever since I found out that she’d be coming here everyday in the morning, I intentionally woke up late so I wouldn’t answer the door.

Mom opened the door for her again.

I didn’t bother listening to their conversation. I still didn’t want to see her. I’m not ready to see her.

I left the roses for Mom again and kept the card.

From: Moon Star {[email protected]}
To: Hye Jin {[email protected]}
It’s safer to use this, right? I missed talking to you via email. I could reach for my phone and send one to you right now. I chose not to because I know I wouldn’t receive a reply from you.
Will you even read this?

Purple roses came on the third day.

I left the house early for work. My manager picked me up before the sun had risen. I went back home and found the roses sitting on the dining table. This time, there was no card buried in the flowers but a small picture.

Apparently, Mom slipped yesterday and told Byul that I wasn’t keeping the flowers. Still, Byul continued giving them to me but with a picture of me this time.

It was one of the first pictures she took of me. I was in my red bikini with my sunglasses on while the water was right below my knees. This was taken the day before Wheein and Yong’s wedding.

If I had a photo of you the first time I saw you, that photo would’ve been the one lying with the roses.
I was still hung up on Yong that day but I blurted to Yong that you’re my type the moment I saw you. She teased me about settling down with you here in Seoul and I instantly said in my head ‘hell no’. I planned on flirting with you and talking you to bed. My usual self. Then I found out you’re Wheein’s friend and then you became Yong’s EA. I wanted you mine during our dinner. I said it out loud without thinking. Yong instantly ed me. After that, that’s when we started arguing over senseless things. Or I started making a fuss with you. I wanted your attention but I don’t know how.
You were my type from the very beginning.

I turned the picture around and stared at my photo. This is how Byul sees me behind her lenses. Always finds the right angle. Always finds the right moment to press the shutter. Always makes me look so effortlessly beautiful.

I told myself she was just over exaggerating things and that she was just making stuff out. I told myself she was lying and that I would never trust her words again. I told myself to doubt her words and to never be swayed by them again. I told myself a million times not to be affected but my loud beating heart betrayed me when it still fluttered from her words.

It was heavily raining outside.

I was relieved that I didn’t have work and gladly stayed in bed longer than usual. I rolled and then tucked myself under the blanket because the earth is still cold from the rain. It was a comforting kind of cold. I closed my eyes and convinced my body to drift back to sleep.

“Byulyi-ah! Come in!”

My eyes instantly opened wide when I heard Mom’s urgent voice.

“Ah… No, mam. I’m just here to—”

“Nonsense! You’re dripping wet already. You might catch a cold. Come in! Aish… What were you thinking walking in the rain without covering yourself? Why aren’t you bringing an umbrella with you?”

“I had one but an elderly in the flower shop got hers broken so I lent her my umbrella. It wasn’t raining that hard earlier so I thought I could manage until the rain poured harder”

“Aigoo… You even protected the flowers more than yourself” Mom softly reprimanded while Byul just chuckled at her. “Hyejin doesn’t even care about them” Mom grumbled while clicking her tongue several times. “Wait here. I’ll search for clothes you can wear, okay?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Ahn”

My bedroom door opened and I stayed still while I listened to Mom’s movements. “This kid really…” Mom sighed, hearing her footsteps moving around my bedroom.

“Oh, Byulyi! What happened to you?” Dad’s voice managed to enter my room as well. “Why are you so wet?”

Mom stepped out of my room, stopping the sounds of them in the kitchen to get inside my room.

I slowly opened my eyes and faced my closed door. My eyebrows furrowed from concentration while my ears were perked up to hear their conversation. I heard Mom mentioning Byul’s name and the bathroom and figured that she’s telling Byul to change before it followed by a clear thank you from Byul when she moved to get inside the bathroom near the dining area.

“Have you had breakfast already, Byulyi? Are you cold?” Mom asked, voice rising from concern.

“Only a little bit, mam”

My eyes widened and a silent gasp escaped my lips when I saw Byul’s shadow looming below my door. I hid under the blanket and then slowly brought my blanket down to watch over her shadow, anticipating her next movements.

“Aigoo… Hurry up and change. I’ll make you a hot chocolate to warm you up”

“Thank you, Mrs. Ahn” Byul said before her shadow moved to the left as I sighed in relief.

I laid my head back on my pillow and stared at the ceiling, wondering what will I do next with Byul inside the house. Mom surely wouldn’t allow Byul to leave with the heavy rain pouring outside. I surely could not trap myself in my bedroom. I mean this is our house, not hers. I shouldn’t be the one in hiding.

I kicked my blanket to the side and pushed myself to stand up. My fists were ready on either side of me as I marched towards my bedroom door. I will not be in hiding!

“Where can I hang my wet clothes Mrs. Ahn?”

My body, on its own, turned around and faced my bed instead of the door. Then, like before, I plumped my body on my bed, groaning silently as I hid under the blanket. “… That hurts…” I mumbled as I reached for my knee and rubbed it out from pain.

“Let me take your clothes to the dryer” Mom said, her voice getting closer to my bedroom door. “Drink your chocolate while it’s hot”

“Yes, mam” Byul said while I rolled my eyes at the smile in her voice.

Bad spirit.

There was a brief moment of silence outside my room before Byul asked, “You always take my flowers for Hyejin. Right, Mrs. Ahn?”

“Yes. Is that alright? It’s such a waste to throw all the flowers you’re bringing”

“It’s totally alright. I w