trigger warning: mentions of grooming, assault, ia
viewer discretion is advised
(I'll give you guys a heads up for the sensitive part)

past the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries

There is no doubt that Seolhee still has a soft spot for Byun Baekhyun. How could she not when Baekhyun has always been a special person to her? However, she's still not quite certain if the fast beating of her heart beats for the Baekhyun she knew years ago or the Baekhyun who is sitting beside her right now -- the one who's a doctor, a father.

     She's thought about it many times, trying to sort her emotions out. In her current theory, she believes that she's probably just overwhelmed with his return, causing her heart to feel that way. Last night, as she lies on her bed, staring at the ceiling, she laughs to herself about how ironic it was to know every possible detail of a human's heart, how it works, and how to bring it back to life but still clueless on how to stop it from beating so fast when Baekhyun is around.

     I just need to give myself time, she says to herself, maybe my heart just needs to adjust.

For Baekhyun, however, that is not the case. In the same position as Seolhee last night, he lies wide awake on his bed. Usually, he'd be asleep by now. But the amount of guilt that he has towards Seolhee keeps him awake. I need to stop playing around and give her an explanation, he thinks. I owe her at least that.

     So now there they are, Seolhee with a confused face while she looks at Baekhyun whose eyes are encouraging as if he's telling her, go ahead, ask anything. I'll tell you everything you want to hear.

     "No girl? So where did Dahyun come from? Immaculate concepcion?"

     Baekhyun chuckles and shakes his head. "No," he says, smiling. Seolhee has noticed the sudden twinkle in his eyes. He has that every time Dahyun comes up in the conversation. She saw that even when she just glanced back at the interns as they talk about Dahyun while they were following her around.

     "No, Dahyun is..." he trails because he hates saying this. He has never said to anyone except Seolhee. He never had to explain anything to anyone else except for Seolhee and his own family. "Do you remember my brother?"

     "Yeah, you mentioned him a couple of times when we were..."

     "Yes, him. He got into a car accident with my sister-in-law a couple of years ago. My sister-in-law was pregnant when that happened," Baekhyun kept on pausing in his sentences, making it obvious for Seolhee to notice just how hard it is for Baekhyun to tell her the story.

     "Baek," she says softly. "You don't have to tell me anything. Really," she tries to convince him.

     "No," he shakes his head. "I have to do this, Seol. This is for both of us. I... I owe you this," Baekhyun says and then he gulps before speaking again. "They didn't survive the accident. My sister-in-law could have survived but she kept on insisting to save the baby instead. And my brother..." he clears his throat. "He, uh, he was in coma for days, and he woke up to the news of his wife's passing, and Seol," he looks at her with tears just threatening to fall down his cheek. "It was so ing hard to witness everything. He kept looking for her, crying for his wife. He was grieving so much that he took his anger out at Dahyun. He said he doesn't want anything to do with her, that she was the reason his wife died,"

     "What about their other kids?"

     "They were in the backseat but they survived, both of them,"

     "And your brother?"

     "He died a day after he woke up. I was with him, you know. And he asked me to take care of Dahyun instead. He said he could never love her knowing that her wife traded her life for her," Baekhyun finally blinks and let the tears roll down. "I can't blame him. He was in shock. The love of his life passed away. But you know what? I'm sure he would take back everything he said if he was given the chance to. I'm so certain that if another day was given to him, I just know that he would ask to see Dahyun and hold her in his arms,"

     Seolhee feels her heart clench. She couldn't imagine the pain Baekhyun must have felt, how many tears he suppressed. 

     "But Dahyun... she's my daughter and nothing can change that. I've loved her like my own, and she's going to grow up with me as her father,"

     Seolhee reaches out to hold his hand. Baekhyun tries to smile and they look at each other. "I'm glad she is. She's so lucky to have you. He has a doctor for a father, what else can she ask for?"

     "A mom?" Baekhyun immediately responds. And just like that, Seolhee goes back to rolling her eyes at him. "Shut up," she stands up and waits for Baekhyun to do the same.

     "What? I didn't say anything else. When she goes to school, she might start wondering why her classmates have moms and note her,"

     "You're right," Seolhee nods her head. Then there was silence. Baekhyun stands up but Seolhee isn't prepared to end this moment yet.

     "Baekhyun?"

     "Yeah?"

     Seolhee didn't say anything. She just takes a step forward until they are only inches apart. She waits for any signal of refusal from Baekhyun and when he doesn't move or even step back, Seolhee closes space in between them and she wraps her arms around his shoulders, tiptoeing a bit to reach them. Baekhyun swore his heart almost stopped working.

     "I'm so proud of the person you've become, Baek. You've endured so much," Seolhee says. Baekhyun takes this opportunity to hug her back and rest his head on her shoulder. "I'm proud of who I've become too, Seol. And I'm more than proud of you... I mean, I always knew you could do it, but that doesn't take away the admiration that I have for your hard work,"

     "Thank you," Seolhee says.

     "Thank you," Baekhyun replies, tightening the hug one last time before releasing each other.

     That night, they had the closure they nev