Chaeyeon's POV:

Twenty Second of May, six years after Skylar Unnie left this world. Six years after losing her, this year was the first year I didn't shed a tear for Unnie. Maybe I was tired or maybe my tears are all gone. Maybe I accepted her fate, maybe for the first time ever, I was okay with her being gone. Maybe it was because of the way, Kura-chan held me tightly in her arms, come twelve in the evening. Maybe it was her hand, tracing the side of my face or perhaps her eyes that told me she won't ever leave me or her gentle face telling me it was okay to cry in her arms or perhaps the fact that my long time crush, THE Miyawaki Sakura held me in a hug and reassured me that she'll never leave my side. Yeah, I think it's that fact that she came into my life, right after being hurt by Matsui, right after her J-Idol life fizzled out and was something she no longer needed. I woke up earlier than anyone, three in the morning. I sat at the coffee table, reading some of the articles Skylar Unnie had written in her blog, the one where she documents the three years she spent in South Korea, training for her dreams of becoming an artist. It is where her first impressions of us were written. Particularly the line she wrote for me.

Then there's Chaen, the great dancer Chaen. We met on the summer of 2010, a month after she quit JYP, she loves to dance but couldn't quite sing, so I a deal to teach her how to sing properly and in exchange, she teaches me how to dance, we are dorm mates together with Lexie, my Alexandra who loves teasing the kid that is Chaen. Thus the start of our friendship, Father and Son Friendship, she's just like me, but dances sick. Gosh! You should see her pop off! I'm a big fan of hers, just like our little Minguring was a big fan of Chaen. Minguring is a pretty little kid, she's younger than Chaen, her smiles could break even Chaen's strict resolve, I'd say she's whipped for Minguring, but knowing she lost Yerin and then got cheated on by that dancer Gishmelle, she's not yet ready and besides, My Princess Minguring deserves the best, not Chaen who currently has issues. If I could only convince Chaen to pay more attention to Princess Minguring instead of wasting her time and rejecting our Minguring, all will be well, but alas, it wasn't my place to order Chaen around. I'm not her boss, it's her Uncle who was her boss.

She has that funny sense of humor, evident on her blog posts. I kept her blog active, paying the fees for her blog website and memorializing her account. Her last post was on that fateful day, she was excited to meet Ariana Grande. Skylar Unnie loved to sing mid-serious talks. She sings dramatically lines from Celine Dion, Mariah Carey and the likes. She's a goofball which explains why she is the most beloved unnie of our co-trainees. I cried so much for her loss, but I was inevitably supposed to be okay about it. Just like today, her sixth year anniversary in what supposed to be her heaven, but because I was too mad about her loss, she couldn't move past the line to the gates of heaven. A lone tear escapes my eyes, which was quickly wipe away by Kura-chan. She wipes the lone tear and kisses me on the forehead, it's half past three, too early to talk about the pain I've been experiencing in my drowning from the tidal wave of loss. Her kisses trailed down my face, my eyelids, my cheeks and then finally my lips.

I watched as she closes her eyes once she reached my lips, kissing me reverently and full of love. Her lips beckoning me to kiss her back, she straddles me fully occupying my legs as if I was her own cushioned chair. I let her be as I tried to control my emotions again, I bestowed her back a deeper and hungry kiss. Enough to tell her I'd just take a few more moments in my sadness for my Unnie's loss. I was slowly processing everything, this morning, on my Unnie's sixth death anniversary. They were right about pain and love, the two things that demanded so much from me, over the years and I have let myself drown in them. Yerin was the first to ever leave me with out reason, Yerin who I loved so much for so long, I've been mad about her loss, she was the catalyst of my downfall from this seemingly bottomless pit that was labeled as grief. I am letting go of that one, cause I am already in love with Sakura, she was always my light from that dark period of time I had, she became my obsession, not until last year, the last time I've gone to AKS Theatre, I saw the kiss between her and Matsui-san, I saw how her eyes changed from previous times I've seen her, she held stars in her eyes for Matsui-san. Now, I see the fire in her eyes when she even hears the word Matsui-san, her eyes that told me, she was irrevocably mine.

"I will always wait for you, yeobo. Through these stormy days in your mind, I will stay put and wait for you, yeobo." She whispers to me into the kiss.

She stops kissing me and brought our foreheads together, a smile painted on her angelic face, a gentle and warm smile, something she has always given to me and her fans, but never to Matsui, Matsui was just a bully to her and the other young women of the forty eight groups, even Kwangbae Hyung could sense the unwillingness in Sakura whenever the both of them had the slightest interaction. Her eyes that held the stars once for Matsui were now directed towards me, her eyes was full of the galaxies and more, bearing everything to me, in this vulnerable sitting position we are now sharing. My hands went to her back, supporting her back from an inevitable fall on the floor, she held my eyes, the secrets her eyes held for me was now being revealed, she steadily held my head, wrapping my attention around her visual. I looked into her dreamy eyes, these eyes that once held stars for Matsui, now held the galaxies for me, I can never not be mesmerized by her, everything about the Goddess Sakura had me, even now as her stomach grumbled loudly as she sat straddling me, seemed perfect timing.

"Pwincess Sakuwa is hungwy? Wets get you some bweaky." I replied to her grumbling stomach laughing until every one of the team was awake.

"Yah! You two! Seriously! Get a room! Not in front of your kids!" Kwangbae Hyung told us and a flying pillow went over to us, good thing I caught it and hurled it back to her.

"Yah! You two baboons!" Eunbi Unnie replied to Kwangbae Hyung and the shock on her face as her eyes was directed to me and Kura-chan's precarious sitting position.

"Yah! Chaeyeon-ah! Get a room!" Eunbi Unnie screamed at me before covering her eyes.

"Yah! Can't we just sleep?! It's only Tuesday." Tomi complained and briefly got up before seeing us tangled together.

"Oton?! I'm not yet ready to have a baby sib! Please have mercy on Kku Okan, she's still young!" Tomi said to us both dramatically.

It was Kura-chan who faced her and sassily replied.

"Hi-chan, if you must know, we're both a woman that has a , so don't be ridiculous and get ready to have breakfast." Kura-chan replied.

"Oooohhh that's hot." Kwangbae Hyung replied.

Earning a punch in the arm from Hi-chan.

"Hi-chan, say sorry to Kwangbae now." Kura-chan replied.

Staring down at Hi-chan, it's only 3:30 a.m. and they're all awake, for the love of god can someone knock these kids out?! I was seriously enjoying this entanglement we have now.

"Yah, Yah, Yah. Enough. Pwincess Sakuwa is hungwy. Let's get Pwincess food." I talked to my team.

"Her tum-tum is gwumbwing wight now, move." I told my team dramatically for the sense of urgency.

Carrying Sakura with me like an infant, her legs automatically gripped around me.

"Yah! Chaeyeon-ah! Unhand Eomma right now!" Kwangbae Hyung told me.

"We're eating." I replied to her.

Everyone was already up from the commotion happening in our hotel suite. Goddesses of Chaos are up in this fine summer morning in the Philippines. We ordered McDonald's Breakfast, cause the hotel kitchen was still closed and it opens for breakfast at around five in the morning. Pretty late but it gave us an excuse to get McDonald's. We went out across the hotel, there was a McDonald's, aside of course from the usual things such as eateries and other shops, restaurants littered the street. Mcdonald's is open twenty four hours and they also deliver at home. Much like McDonald's in Korea, this McDonald's had its signature offerings. We walked to the McDonald's and the Maknae Line found a table for us together with Kwangbae, the rest of the Unnie and Parent Line went ahead and ordered food for the kids. We must've ordered the whole menu.

We can't help it cause there are lots of things we didn't have in Korea. A mixture of sandwiches, several of them, then rice meals, hashbrowns and other McDonald's menu items. We had a field day ordering all these foods and enjoying our time before we go to the cemetery. Which was just a block away from our hotel. We're coming soon, Sky Unnie. I told myself this, I was excited to see her. It was something I didn't even get to see, despite her funeral being live streamed, I didn't and couldn't watch it, in my mind Sky Unnie was still alive, we just lost contact with each other. My denial of the things that happened six years ago, drove me to this point, a numbed person from all the pain both unnies have caused me when they left me on a blinding spotlight, alone and suddenly responsible for their kids and friends alike. How I became a dysfunctional leader was a mystery everyone was waiting to solve, everyone of my members wanted to see me okay, everyone wished for a recovery.

But of course the path to recovery isn't easy, nothing ever came easy for me. I was young and had lost three of the most personable people I came to know. My recovery took time, a slow pace, even up until now, I'm still trying to recover from the devastating feelings I had. It was a slow pace because I wanted to stay with their memories, linger for a few more moments, to feel and see them, the warmth that both Unnies have given me, how I wish I could explain all the pain I have been feeling for their loss. I just miss both so much and I long to hug them again. I wanted to see them both and hug them again. Even if it's just for a while, I'll be grateful for that opportunity to be hugged by them. I am still not coping well without them, but I was now a little accepting of this fact. It will take some more years, I guess to be able to regenerate the parts of me that drowned in pain and revive myself once more.

"Yeobo, let's eat." Sakura told me softly.

There were a few customers inside the McDonald's Restaurant we are in. Her eyes soft look on me despite her having her tummy grumble loudly she still hasn't eaten a bite yet. I smiled at her and began to eat my order of Fried Chicken, Garlic Fried Rice and Egg. It was good how they have Chicken and Rice here, meanwhile in Korea we only had fries. Her eyes turned grateful as she watched me and my team eat. She observed everyone as they ate silently, this included me. She likes seeing us silently eating as opposed to talking. The schedule for today is at ten in the morning. We'll spend some time with Skylar Unnie's Family and then go back to Subic. She chews slowly her Longganisa meal, it was a type of Filipino Sausage that was sweet, savory and garlicky. We all had this on one of Skylar Unnie's vacations, she went back with these sausages from the Philippines or often make her own, she's a great cook which she claims she got from her Papa.

One Hour Later

We are back at our hotel suite and we wrapped up practicing the songs we were going to perform at the cemetery. We were sweating cause it was hot, especially in Pampanga, I feel like I'm going to pass out in the middle of our performance. Nobody told me it could get this hot! It was a good thing that everyone came prepared and we agreed to go to the cemetery wearing light fabric outfits. We bought button down white shirts and black jeans, the women of the team bought a white flowy wrap around dress. Ducky, Kwangbae, Chaewon, Yujin, Nako and I were on button down white shirts and black jeans, it was some sort of uniform for us, we always go shopping like this at least for Ducky and I, Duck and I had somewhat a similar fashion sense, so as Minju who often wears jeans and a button down shirt, often Minju borrows from my wardrobe, she even borrows my blazers.

We chose white to help combat the heat and white symbolizes peace, harmony and solemnity of one's heart. We each had a black accent on the left arm. Same for the women, they had a black accent on their left arm. Usually in Korea, people wear Black Suit and Tie and for Women Black Dresses in a wake. Since this was our first official celebration of Skylar Unnie's life, we picked white with an accent of black. Everyone agreed to coordinate what they will be wearing. We are now getting ready for the Cemetery, which wasn't far from our hotel. Gray View Memorial Park was just two blocks away down from the hotel. I wanted to see where my Skylar Unnie was laid to rest. We'll pick up some flowers for Skylar Unnie, Unnie loves daisies, it was also her birth flower.

Thirty Minutes Later

We arrived in front of the flower shop, a few steps away from the entrance of the memorial park, it was already eight in the morning we would like to introduce the members first, before going about the entire performance. We bought a bouquet of fresh daisies, we also bought her favorite Pepsi Cola and Cheese Curls, her go to snacks, Unnie doesn't drink, unlike Alex Unnie who does. She was our designated driver, care taker of three drunks, which was most likely Alex, Kwangbae and I. One thing she likes is singing all the songs in the Karaoke Place we go to, she was also the original person to pour shots for us. The way she lovingly pours Alex Unnie some Soju on her glass, it doesn't matter if she was older, she liked to pour the drinks for her younger members, cause she could control all the drinking we do.

Sky Unnie was like Minju, Minju eats her gummies as soon as she wakes up and Skylar Unnie eats her Cheese Curls as soon as she gets up from bed, often before she cooks breakfast, Alex Unnie doesn't mind it, but minds it if she was eating two bags of cheese curls, a bag she doesn't mind but a couple of bags earns Sky Unnie some smacking in the head or arms. Sky Unnie is the gentlest woman, she was very patient with Alex Unnie, Kwangbae Hyung and I. We all had our quirks when drunk, I was a rowdy crying girl, Kwangbae a kissy and laughing woman and Alex Unnie sings at the top of her lungs and with the wrong lyrics. Those were the times from the past, I have since eight months ago, have stopped drinking. Kwangbae and I completely stopped drinking alcohol for Sakura. On days we wanted to, we just jam and play the piano, sing our hearts out. It works for us, we quit cold turkey from drinking.

We had a bouquet of sixty daisies, it was a big bouquet, arranged with each of the members' favorite flower. Five Daisies and One of each flower representing each members. It was an assortment of flowers and I was pleased with how it looked like. The bouquet was us, being surrounded of Sky Unnie's memories. Even those who joined after the death of Sky Unnie. We got out of the flower shop and made our way solemnly through hundreds of gravesites until we reached Skylar Unnie's Maoseleum, it looked like a small room with her Uncles and cousins who already passed on. There was a big tent already set up for fifty people at least. Her gravestone read.

Skylar Arden "Kwak Han-eul 스카일러 곽 " Sarmiento

Born: April 2, 1986
Died: May 22, 2012

A good daughter and outstanding student of the arts. A father and mother to her Team. A lover of Daisies, Music and Cheese. A Soulmate to Alex.

A flower that blooms in adversity, is the rare and most beautiful of all.

It was written in her gravestone, it felt like deja vu all over again. It was kind of the same to Alex Unnie's gravestone marker. But without actually mentioning any of these things. I knew Skylar Unnie was loved and accepted by her parents, I just didn't know to what extent. Alex Unnie haven't come out to anyone, not even us her team. We only knew by the way Alex Unnie acted as if she was Skylar Unnie's wife, often referring to herself as Missus Kwak. It was funny to see Alex Unnie referring to herself as Skylar Unnie's wife. It was also the cause of their being apart, Skylar Unnie gave up on her music career long before she got to debut. It was over after three years of not debuting, she was really a passionate writer and photographer, she was on break from Korea at the time of her death, she was planning to comeback to Korea and be a Celebrity Journalist or Content Writer in a few years at that time.

She got herself figured and set, Alex Unnie being the star that she covers. Her secret blog had thousands of posts about Alex Unnie, Skylar Unnie's Korean adventures and us, her team mates. But