A thousand things race through Seulgi’s mind in that moment. It is such a non-issue that she could just come right out with the truth or just laugh it off like a joke, but she didn’t want to. Today is such a nice day and she didn’t want it to end. The sky is slowly getting dark and her eyes wander about everywhere except to Seungwan. Seulgi is just trying her best to think of a way out of getting exposed.  



‘I mean, just look at this! You are practically Seulgi with short hair!’

Seungwan swipes her phone photo gallery back and forth to compare the two photos of ‘Garam’ and another of her and Seulgi. It turns out that Seungwan is just so muddled by their likeness that she exaggerated (not really) her claim.

‘Ahaha… yeah. We do have genes from the same parents.’

Seulgi chuckles nervously and pulls out a bottle from her bag. If she’s drinking, she can’t be talking. Seungwan keeps comparing the photo to real life ‘Garam’ but ‘he’ avoids her gaze.

‘It’s almost as if Seulgi has put on a wig and tricked me into going on a date with her!.’

Seulgi spits out the water and starts coughing uncontrollably. Seungwan quickly hands ‘Garam’ a tissue to dry ‘himself’ and pats at ‘his’ back. ‘Garam’ keeps assuring that ‘he’ is fine but the water in her windpipe keeps choking her.

‘Oh dear, let’s go in and sit down. You’ll feel better in a bit.’

Seungwan helps ‘Garam’ into a family restaurant before ‘he’ can protest, and an elderly couple shows them to their seats.

‘Oh my, what a good-looking couple. Woudn’t you say, Darling?’

‘The best looking, dear.’

Seulgi turns red from the teasing but Seungwan just laughs it off. The ladies (not counting the cross-dresser) begin to chat amongst themselves.

‘Omonim(mother) and owner looks better than us!.’

‘Oh my, you have a sweet tongue.’

‘This diner looks so warm and cozy.How long have Omonim and owner been running the store?’

‘Oh, we’ve been here since we were married at 29 years old… so about 36 years?’

‘Wow, I’m 29 too! That is so sweet! I wish I have a partner like you, Omonim.’

‘Hear that, young man?’

Seulgi begins to imagine and monologue to herself about a married life with Seungwan, running a small restaurant for the next 36 years. No wait, stop thinking about weird things, Seulgi. They can just be together and enjoy the small happiness everyday. No, seriously. Seulgi. That’s just creepy. They don’t have to travel the world or do anything special because Seungwan is everything that she needs. You’re going crazy, Seulgi.

‘It’s still early so we haven’t finish preparing the Jokbal (Pig trotter dish) and setting up the kitchen, would you two mind waiting for a bit?’

‘Of course not. Please take your time, Omonim.’

           

            The elderly couple returns to work while Seungwan looks like she has a lot to say and talk about with ‘Garam’. Before they can continue with their conversation, they hear a loud grunt from the owner from trying to carry a large pot of broth. Before Seungwan can say anything, ‘Garam’ tells her to wait for a moment and ‘he’ goes to help the elderly couple. If there’s anything Seulgi can be confident of, it’s her arm and core strength. Between working out and her job as a dance choreographer, Seulgi has built up quite a bit of muscles. The elderly couple thanks ‘Garam’ profusely as ‘he’ does the manual labour quickly and efficiently while Seungwan watches, impressed. ‘Garam’ is so kind too, just like his sister, Seungwan thought to herself.

            For his service, the elderly couple treats them to their meal for free. The table is filled edge to edge with a dozen side dishes, soft tofu stew still bubbling from its earthenware, a large plate of sliced pig trotters, beef bulgogi and a variety of vegetables with ssamjang. Seulgi gives her thanks quickly and starts digging in. Food always taste much better after a big workout. Seungwan takes small bites and watches ‘Garam’ consume food like he has more than a few stomachs. To Seungwan, one of the best things about Seulgi is her appetite. It’s almost like watching a mukbang live when eating with Seulgi and apparently, ‘Garam’ has the same appetite too. Noticing from earlier that ‘Garam’ is not good at talking about ‘himself’, Seungwan adjusts to smaller conversations in hopes that ‘he’ can relax.


‘Sorry that I dragged you in here, I know you had planned for a barbeque place.’

‘No, no. This is good. The jokbal is really good.’

Seulgi dangles a large bone with some meat on it in front of Seungwan like a bear offering food to its cubs.

‘Oh, it’s okay. You have plenty of it.’

‘Look, you can arrange the bones to form the whole leg back!’

Seungwan feels grossed out but kept her poker face so ‘Garam’ doesn’t go back into his shell. She can’t help but keep comparing him and Seulgi, they are both so weird in the same ways.

‘You should slow down, there’s a bit of something on your face.’

Seungwan gestures at the single grain of rice stuck on ‘Garam’s’ face and ‘he’ naturally leans his head forward. It has happened more than a few times that Seungwan would clean food scraps off Seulgi’s face or feed her during meals but Seulgi has forgotten for a moment that she is ‘Garam’ right now. Seungwan laughs awkwardly and hands a napkin to him instead.

‘It’s on your left cheek.’

‘Oh… right, sorry.’

‘Hyung, I can’t put my finger on you.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Somehow, you feel so distant yet so familiar. You are shy at the wrong moments and strangely bold in right ones.’

‘That sounds a little abstract, I don’t really understand what you mean by that.’

‘It’s just… it’s just that you aren’t what I expected. The Garam I remembered 13 years ago is quite outgoing, loud and friendly. When Seulgi set us up, I thought it would be a mismatch but somehow, this feels...’

‘So you mean, we’re a good match?’

Seungwan blushes a little and just silently serve ‘him’ a bowl of stew and barley tea.

‘Eat up a lot, Garam. It’s still early, you might get hungry late night if you don’t.

 

            Seulgi polishes most of the dishes with Seungwan taking small bites. The elderly couple watches time to time and thought to themselves that these two kids are such a nice couple. It’s like those old wives’ theory, one half would eat a lot and the other should have a small appetite to match the other. One half is less conscious so the other takes care of him. One half likes to give love and the other, to receive.

            They hid some money under the rice bowl because they knew the elderly couple would be fussy about it and make them take it back. When more people start to come into diner, the young couple sneak off into the night. The air is chilly, but it feels comfortable with the Christmas lights all lit up. There is just something so strange about Christmas that it makes you all warmed up inside. Seulgi’s heart has settled a fair bit and she notices a couple of miss calls and unread messages on her phone. It feels dreadful to have a fraction of her real-life bleeding into this perfect night so she decided to not answer the calls. Seungwan walks silently beside ‘him’ from the long streets of Hongdae to Myeongdong. The regular crowd starts to shuffle in, all ready for a night of festivities. A live band is bustling in the background, people tussle about, trying to catch a glimpse of the beautiful Christmas tree just in front of the Myeongdong Cathedral. Lighted roses spread on both sides of the road and if there is just one thing missing from this perfect scenario, it would be the first snow falling in front of them.


It’s just one night. Please, God. Can I just have this one night.

Seulgi pleads silently to herself and stealing glances at her best friend.

If it’s just for today…

            Seungwan stops before the Christmas tree and looks up at the sky. The roses and lights all seem to be illuminating her and her wishful look with hands held outwards has a look of divinity with her frosty breath mingling in the air. A miracle did happen. The first snow falls onto Seungwan’s hands and Seulgi is taken over by the sight of it all. Seungwan turns around excitedly, trying to show off the snowdrop but ‘Garam’ has stepped up to her with an inexplicable look of desire.

Just today.

Seulgi cups Seungwan’s hands and she felt her heart almost jump right out of her chest.

‘There’s a lot of people… just so we don’t lose each other.’

‘Yeah… good idea.’

They held hands, looking at the Christmas tree while the live band sing;

“Dreamed I was a long ways apart
You told me something I can’t remember

I know you are
Try not to mess up this night
We could stay here until I
Lips on the ears
No matter what you say
It is not time to be done yet
Hurts on the hearts
No matter what you feel
It is not time to be done yet

Let it begin
Let it all begin
Let it all begin again”

 
            When the song ended, the couple continue their walk a bit more until the crowd dissipates but their hands did not loosen. Seungwan doesn’t seem to hate it so Seulgi tightens her grip a bit more. Both of them didn’t turn to look at each other and just kept walking until the train stop.

‘Get home safely, Seungwan.’

‘That’s… the first time you ever called me that.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry! I meant please get home safely, Wendy.’

‘I don’t mind, you can call me Seungwan if you like.’

‘Garam’ blushes a little but didn’t reply.

‘Goodnight, oppa.’

 

            Seulgi turns into a tomato at the response but before she can reply, Seungwan has already scurried into the train station. She kept looking until Seungwan is out of her sight but just before she is gone, Seungwan turns around to wave brightly at her. Seulgi waves back before they truly parted ways. It is already twelve o’ clock and the next day, it is time to come back to reality. Seulgi picks up her phone to return the miss call.
 

SEULGI
Hey, what’s up?

JISOO
Just checking in to see what you are up to.

SEULGI
Nothing much.

JISOO
I’ve been calling and texting, where have you been?

SEULGI
Just here and there… we didn’t make plans, did we?

JISOO
Yeah but still…

SEULGI
I’m a little tired. Can I hang up now?

JISOO
Are you hanging out with Wendy again?

SEULGI
Kind of.

JISOO
Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend instead of your best friend on Christmas day?

SEULGI
I thought we decided to not label ourselves with anything?

JISOO
Yeah, I know. I know.

SEULGI
I'm just saying... we made it clear long ago that this isn't serious.

JISOO
Yeah, okay. Whatever. why are you suddenly so defensive?

SEULGI
I'm just setting boundaries.

JISOO
Boundaries or not, I’m particularly lonesome now. Can’t you come meet me?

SEULGI
Not today.

JISOO
C’mon, my bed is warm and comfy. Scented candles and champagne all here, all ready for you.

SEULGI
I don’t know… Jisoo.

JISOO
You went missing the whole day. You don’t answer your phone or texts and now this? I know Wendy is your best friend and all, but can’t I have you for just a day?

SEULGI
I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.

JISOO
Please come, Seul. Don’t make me beg.

          Jisoo’s tone turns harsher and Seulgi feels a little frustrated with the entire situation. A small ache digs deep into her when she watches the empty train station from the outside. Jisoo and her has always been on and off over the years. It was supposed to be a one-time thing seven years ago, but it never did stop. After all, Seulgi never found anyone better and Jisoo was always there. Ultimately, she decided to go see Jisoo because she didn’t want to argue with her over the phone. On the cab ride to Jisoo’s place, Seulgi watches the streetlights pass by her bit by bit, one by one. She wonders at all the feelings she felt today but shakes it off quickly. It’s just a small phase and she can just go on a camping trip next week. It’s not like it’s the first time she has had infatuations before. She just needs some time away from Seungwan and everything will be back to normal again.