The entire affair was tiresome even before it started. Seulgi had to go to a salon to buy a wig to install over her long hair and height increase insoles for her shoes. No one ever told her how uncomfortable it is to bind her chest and how difficult it is to do it yourself. When Garam had left the house, Seulgi was able rampage through his closet to find a navy blue shirt, denim pants and a slightly oversized dark pea coat. When the reflection stares back at her, its uncanny how much she looks like her brother. The features are slightly softer however so Seulgi spent quite a bit of time to practice her expressions to make herself look sharper.
 

‘Hi there, I’m Garam.’

She shakes her head. Too Casual.

‘Hey Wendy, sup?’ No, too cocky.

‘Oh hey, I didn’t see you there. Wendy. I was just thinking about my art.’

Nope, too pretentious… but somehow Seulgi likes it. She can explore a little more with the artsy character.

‘Oh don’t mind me, I just dabble a little bit in acrylic painting. Ahaha, the colours of the world do so enrich my life.’

 

For a moment, Seulgi sees her crazy self in the mirror and felt the slap of reality. Why is she putting in so much effort to look good to Seungwan? The plan was to be an awful date anyway and use Garam’s phone to text Seungwan that it’s not working out later. Seulgi already had the perfect bad date lined up. First, a small stroll around Hongdae mural street and pretend to be snobbish artist over-explaining all the different art pieces to Seungwan. Then, a short trip to a café and make a fuss about the coffee being not dairy free and then a barbeque dinner at a street side place with no air conditioning and smoke filter. Seulgi feels almost proud to make up a date so bad that she is sure that ‘Garam’ will be included in Seungwan’s list of failed romance.

 

They were set to meet at the Hongik University Station and when evening came, Seulgi finds herself fidgeting outside the gantry because the wig and bindings are so uncomfortable. She keeps cursing at her brother for not helping her out and kept running through her date plan in her mind. Lost in her thoughts, Seulgi didn’t even notice the figure approaching her.
 

‘Garam hyung?’

Seungwan has a weird habit of calling her closer guy friends as hyung so Seulgi immediately knew it was her even before she turns around. The weather is freezing cold but still she felt a slight tingling feeling when she sees the Seungwan before her. It is… different. The Seungwan that Seulgi knows wear leather jackets and black pants in winter.  This Seungwan meeting the fake ‘Garam’ is much more feminine with a cream blue poncho worn over a light inner shirt and black leggings. The high brown boots make her slightly taller but it’s adorable to Seulgi how Seungwan is still so small. The crystal earrings half hidden by her short hair accentuates Seungwan’s doe eyes. When Seungwan waves at her, Seulgi catches a scent of lavender perfume that stops her in her tracks like a deer caught in headlights.


‘Hyung?’

‘Oh. OH, uh. Hi?’

‘Oh thank god, I thought I got the wrong person.’

‘Yes. Oh no, I mean no. No, nope. It is I, Kang Garam.’

Seulgi speaks in her deepest voice as Seungwan watches her amusingly.

‘How long has it been, Hyung? 13-14 years?’

“THE WEATHER IS VERY NICE, WENDY.’

Seulgi has turned into a stiff robot at this point and her brain is buffering over and over again for responses. Fortunately(?), Seungwan thought it was a joke and starts snickering.

‘It really isn’t, it’s freezing out here, let’s walk a bit to warm ourselves up.’


            The couple walks side by side in silence. Seulgi has many things to say but much of it seems to come up to her tongue before she swallows it back down again. Seungwan seems to be much less conscious and the silence is comfortable to her. Seungwan thought that it might be that Garam looks so much like Seulgi that the entire atmosphere feels familiar. Seulgi tries to sneak peeks at her friend and it just struck her how beautiful Seungwan is. With each breath of cold air exhaling out of her, every single moment felt picture perfect. When Seungwan turns back to look at her, she avoids her gaze quickly and look to the pavement. A small breeze brushes against them and she felt a small shiver around her neck. Women have it so tough in the cold winter of Korea. She wonders how cold Seungwan must be right now but Seungwan is the first to speak up.


‘Hyung, are you cold?’

‘I’m good. I’m hot. I mean like body temperature wise. Not that I’m saying I’m hot-hot. Not that I’m not hot.’

Seungwan laughs at the ridiculous sentence and tells ‘Garam’ to wait here. She scurries into a small clothing store before coming back with a newly bought scarf.
 

‘You are so much like Seulgi. She can’t deal with cold weather too.’
 

The smaller girl wraps the brown scarf around Seulgi’s neck and pulls her in closer. The small hands fold in the knot busily around her nape. They came face to face and their eyes meet properly for the first time. For a moment, Seulgi felt her heart skip a beat when the brown eyes look back at her. The world felt like it slowed to a standstill, but time still pass by too quickly. Seungwan finishes the knot and pulls back to find two hot packs out of her comically large bag.
 

‘There you go, better?’

‘Garam’ nods.

‘So where are we going?’

‘Art street, there’s uh… art there.’

‘You like art?’

‘Garam’ nods.

‘So what have you been doing past 10 years? Other than finishing your conscription. Working now?’

‘I’m looking for employment.’

 

The part is true. Garam had studied overseas and came back to enlist in the army so
he had to start sending out resumes. Seulgi got a little mad inside at the thought that his unemployed brother couldn’t bother to help her with this one small task.
 

‘What kind of job are you looking for? Seulgi mentioned you were in business school?’

‘A business-sy job. I think.’

‘Hyung.’

‘Yes?’

‘What happened? I don’t remember you as the shy type.’

‘I’m not shy. I’m just mature.’

‘Garam’ stiffens at the investigative eyes and is visibly flustered. Seungwan laughs a little at the cartoonish gesture and replies, ‘That you are. Mature.’

‘We’re here.’

 

Christmas lights and decorations scatter around the mural street. The graffiti on the wall is festive too with the image of a smoking Santa and his gang of stylized elves. Peonies were drawn on the opposing wall. The day light is still bright, so the streetlights and decors have not lit up yet. Small crowds shuffle in and out to take pictures and a strange air of romance brews in the background with different couples fading in and out as they walk. Seulgi has completely forgotten to talk about the art pieces so they just stop every now and then to look at interesting landmarks. A particularly fun piece caught her eye. It is a small encasing room of Christmas lights made in shapes of flowers and in between, two giant-sized monkeys stretching out their arms to form a heart shape.
 

‘You like it?’

‘Garam’ nods.

‘Let’s take a picture together.’

 

Seungwan pulls Seulgi closer in and reach out her phone to take a picture. Seungwan keeps trying to find a good framing but Seulgi with heightened shoes is a fair bit taller so it was a little difficult to do so.
 

‘Let me do it.’

 

As Seulgi takes the phone, their fingers touch and her heart beats so loud that she swears that she can almost hear it. Seungwan is so close to her that whenever Seulgi catches a whiff of Seungwan’s perfume, a dizzy feeling dazes her a little. She takes a few photos and wonders to herself if they can do heart hands together. Seungwan didn’t show much of an indication other than a standing selfie so Seulgi gave up on the idea quickly. On one hand, she was disappointed but also kind of glad that Seungwan didn’t want to be too intimate with ‘Garam’. This feeling is all too new to Seulgi, she had gone on dates over the years but none of the girls she dated had made her felt this way. The feeling of strange excitement that says it is okay to go out in a pouring rainstorm, to dance without a care when everyone is watching or to that if today is the only day she has for the rest of her life, she would be okay with that. A small voice speaks out and breaks Seulgi’s chain of thoughts.


‘You’re Seulgi, aren’t you?’

‘Huh?’

_________