Taeyong was starting to get a headache and the tension was building fast in his frontal lobe. He had been looking at numbers all day and it was starting to not make any sense to his overtired brain. He wasn't exactly awful at math, decently average actually, but with how much he had been doing even with the aid of a calculator, it was really starting to overwhelm him. The combination of the repetition of the same numbers, and the reason he had to do all the math in the first place was getting to be too much for him at the time. He honestly wanted to cry about it and if he could, he would eradicate numbers completely. 

Doyoung took a seat next to Taeyong after setting a bowl of very bland chicken broth next to the older in case he needed something to distract himself with. They were both sat at their tiny dinner table placed in their tiny kitchenette, pads of paper in front of them as they crunched and figured out numbers for their foreseeable future. It was all very stressful and both felt lost in the work, and they were making do for now, but Taeyong was at the end of his rope. 

"Thank you," he nodded, only taking a small sip from what had collected in the spoon gripped in his hand. He still felt a little queasy and didn't want to overwhelm his stomach with too much at once. Small sips would do for now, and it felt good to get something in his stomach. 

"Hopefully you can hold it down," Doyoung wished with a sad frown, "I've seen you throw up too many times now and I really just need you to eat something," there had been a lot of nausea and morning sickness to work around, and Doyoung was just as sick of it as Taeyong surely was. He was immensely worried about Taeyong's health, maybe even more so than Taeyong was. 

Taeyong let a hand stray to his still very flat middle where he knew their baby was starting to develop into the person they would come to be. He was six weeks pregnant with their first baby and while both had tiny flames of excitement in their hearts, their anxiety and worries were nearly smothering those sparks to nothing. They weren't ready for a baby, and they hadn't been planning for one either, "The doctor said a few more weeks of this and then it will improve," Taeyong reminded, happy with the way the broth tasted. He dared to finish it; he just might, "I hope it comes sooner rather than later. I'm ready to eat again."

"Nausea never really goes away. Not totally," Doyoung reminded, sad twitch of his lip making the delivery worse, "I'm just afraid you'll really get sick and need to see a doctor and stay in the hospital," when Doyoung's brother had gone through his turn of morning sickness it had been so bad he had needed to be hospitalized and closely monitored. Both he and Taeyong saw firsthand how bad it could get, and Doyoung was afraid it was happening to his boyfriend now. 

"I'm not going to get that sick," Taeyong claimed confidently, setting his spoon back into the bowl. He'd swallowed a good few mouthfuls but was done for the time being. He didn't want to push his luck, "I won't let myself," his sister came to mind and his thoughts wandered back to her pregnancy with her son. She hadn't had it particularly easy in other ways, but she didn’t have morning sickness near as bad as Gongmyung. Taeyong would say he and his sister were pretty similar nausea wise, and if she could get through it without breaking down, so could he. Taeyong was not worried in the slightest

"It's not something you can control, dummy," Doyoung frowned with a sad lilt to his voice, "We'll do our best to keep you feeling as good as possible though so you won't get the chance to go to the hospital," Doyoung gave a short nod and looked down at his notebook to look over the numbers again. It was starting to make him feel sick and he had to sigh in an attempt to calm his internal storm, “We need you at your healthiest.”

“I’ll try my best,” Taeyong sighed, hoping, manifesting his body would turn out perfectly fine in the end. 

 After minutes of silence, Doyoung broke the peace to appease his ruminating thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking of everything, "I was looking at apartments earlier. I couldn't really help myself," he admitted with a guilty look on his face. They had mutually decided to worry about apartment hunting later but Doyoung was ever the worrier and he had needed to look at their options so far ahead, "We need a bigger space for all of us."

Taeyong sighed and nodded with a dip of his head, chin touching his chest out of frustration. Their current apartment was cozy and perfect for the two of them, but truth be told it was too small and they didn't have enough room for a baby. Just the month before they had renewed their housing contracts with their landlord and were due another year for their lease, and their baby had poor timing. If they couldn't breach their contract early or find other options, there was going to be a good three months of living with the baby in a tiny apartment with paper-thin walls and grouchy neighbors. It was agreed that they were going to find a new place eventually, but the idea of doing so now was stressful, especially the moving process. Taeyong had asked that they worry about apartment hunting when they were closer to his due date and closer to the end of their lease, but he honestly hadn't expected Doyoung to follow that request. He had been right, and Doyoung had peeked at potential homes with a heart of hope. Taeyong smiled softly at his impatience, not feeling anger towards his boyfriend, just love, "I bet you found some good places,” he watched Doyoung nod happily, smile wide and proud, but still careful, “But we can talk about that in a few months. We need to figure out expenses before we can even think about moving," it was why they were sat down together after all, "One thing at a time." 

The pair were using their day to do some budgeting but it was budgeting on steroids. They hadn't been ready for a baby, had wanted to wait another few years, but since one was coming anyway they had to work around their plans and pick and choose what was going to stay in their monthly budgets. They weren't struggling with money by any means but it was always a worry at the back of their heads. They could have it one day and the next it could be completely gone, and they would like to avoid that as much as possible as their family grew to three. 

"Right," Doyoung nodded, looking back down at his notepad of mindless math and numbers. He had done a lot that afternoon but none of it felt good to complete. He swallowed thickly and spoke again, carefully, "I'm thinking we won't be able to afford another car. We'll need that money each month for baby things like diapers and formula," Taeyong nodded with a small and disappointed frown, agreeing on not getting a second car even though he had been looking at what car he had wanted for months now with the end goal of getting it. He had been so excited for his own car but that dream would be pushed back another few months, maybe even years. It just wasn't something they could try and accomplish with a baby. 

Taeyong sighed deeply, feeling the way even air made his stomach upset and sick, "And we can't go on that vacation out of the country anymore. I'll be huge by the time we were planning on going," they had been aiming for summer, an excursion out of their home country to Europe where they would make several stops over the span of four weeks that would have been for Taeyong's birthday. He would be close to nine months pregnant by the end of their vacation, so traveling in the near future was out of the question. They would be lucky to even leave Seoul around then and make trips around town. Taeyong would be too uncomfortable and too tired to make it far from home. They would just have to reschedule it a few years down the road, "It'll have to wait for a while." 

"We could make a smaller trip more local. Maybe not when you're really pregnant or soon, not with how sick you are, but we could take a small vacation in the countryside and enjoy ourselves," Doyoung suggested, loving the idea himself. Taeyong loved the countryside and the outdoors more than he loved the city. It would be a good last trip with just the two of them, "We could make it your 'babymoon'," Doyoung's gummy smile was all too much and it had Taeyong smiling back, enjoying just how excited Doyoung seemed for the idea. 

"A babymoon would be wonderful. In the spring when flowers are blooming and the earth feels new," he didn't get much of that in the city, not with urbanization and the cityscape. He missed the land and nature, and the more he considered the idea the more he wanted to commit to it, "It won't be too hot or too cold either, and I’ll be 4-5 months along at the beginning of spring. It'll be the perfect time to do anything."

"I think so too," Doyoung easily did so, reaching out and grabbing Taeyong's hand to hold it gently. His thumbs rubbed Taeyong's knuckles and tickled his skin, making him forget he was feeling so miserable, "Let's do that. You always deserve a trip away to your favorite kind of place. We could rent a cabin and just glamp for a week or two, whatever you choose," his eyes were so promising, so genuine in Taeyong's interests. It gave Taeyong butterflies, happy his stomach was turning in a way different from his usual nausea. 

"You're sweet," Taeyong smiled, giggling in the slightest while trying not to shake his ill body from laughing, "We'll have to do it and get away for a bit. Our last vacation before we become three," his left hand was still pressed flat to his lower belly, keeping a reminder that they had a little one to prepare for. It was both exciting and stressful, "We'll still need to save up for that if we want to get a cabin in the countryside. That's not exactly cheap," he didn't want to bring the mood down, but he had to be realistic as well, and they were budgeting after all. It was good to discuss now so they could plan ahead. 

Doyoung twisted his lips in thought and his hands loosened their grip, a concentrated frown replacing his previous grin. His smile had been so short-lived and Taeyong felt bad taking it away from him, "We could probably find the money somewhere, or cut something out that we don't really need. I'm sure there's something," Doyoung ran through an itemized list he had already written on his notepad of all the things that fell under the category of 'non-essentials' that could be cut and save a few bucks. They had options, but deciding on what to erase was incredibly difficult. He looked so deep in thought that Taeyong knew he needed to give a suggestion before Doyoung made himself sick with worry. 

"If you're up to it we could skip Christmas presents this year," Taeyong suggested, knowing how expensive the holiday and gift giving could be, "If we really want to save up. There's nothing we need right now, and there's nothing I want at least," he had been thinking about what he wanted for Christmas for weeks but nothing came to mind. If this year called for it he would forego the unnecessary gifts in exchange for saving money for their child. But he knew Doyoung's love language was gift giving and he thrived off the feeling of handing a loved one something he put a lot of thought into. He wasn't so sure this was going to fly with him, "Only if you think it's a good idea." 

Taeyong could see the wheels turning in Doyoung’s head as he mulled over the idea and was honestly expecting to hear a compromise, but he then nodded with a tilt of his head, looking as though he was agreeing with the option, "We could do that," he piped up, crossing out a list he had written full of a budget for Christmas shopping. It saved them a load of money they would need later. Taeyong was surprised he agreed so easily, "Christmas isn't about the gifts anyway," he claimed with a gummy smile, the kind that made Taeyong's heart sing, "It's about spending time with the ones you love," his grinning was ridiculous, but Taeyong could see it was to help Taeyong feel better and it was much appreciated. He knew how much Doyoung loved giving gifts, but if he was so easily tossing it to the side this year then maybe he was serious about this, "And spending time with you is all I really need. That's enough to make me happy." 

Taeyong smiled so wide, his boyfriend's words making him so happy and making him forget how terribly nauseous he still was. He reached out so he was now holding both of Doyoung's hands so he could keep them close and tight, really feeling how warm Doyoung's hands were against his cold ones, "I love you so much," he cooed, feeling the way his lips quivered at the pure joy that was tickling his nerves. His whole body was reacting, one of those moments where his love for Doyoung was so overwhelming it couldn't be contained. 

"I love you more," Doyoung taunted, ducking his head to place soft kisses against Taeyong's prominent and pale knuckles. He paused there, eyes trained on Taeyong's lower belly, a content sigh leaving his lips as he straightened back up to look his boyfriend in the eyes. His eyes were swimming dreamily, happy in a way that made his eyes dewy, "We'll have a baby by next Christmas," that was plainly obvious but it sounded so sweet when he said it. The baby had been at the forefront of their brains for weeks now and the thought had crossed their minds several times already, but neither of them had brought it up with each other before. They would be a family of three for next year's Christmas and that was phenomenal. 

It was enough to make Taeyong emotional, something else he had been struggling with since finding out he was pregnant. He had his moments and this was one of them as it brought rapid tears to his waterline, a shy laugh escaping his lips in an attempt to cover up how embarrassed he felt, "We'll have a baby," it was all he could muster, too happy to try and even think of more things to say. Doyoung was moving to comfort him already, cupping his cheeks and leaning forward to place quick pecks on his face, already collecting Taeyong back to Earth, "I still can't believe it."

The stress of preparing for a baby prevented them from enjoying the prospect and both knew that, but there were moments like this where they were in bliss because wow they were having a baby together, "I can't either. They're going to be absolutely beautiful," Baby hadn't been in their lives for very long but every time Doyoung thought about them, he always pictured them looking exactly like Taeyong. He hoped their baby was his boyfriend's exact copy. He wouldn’t mind a mini Taeyong. 

"They will be," Taeyong agreed, but unbeknownst to Doyoung, he always pictured the baby looking exactly like Doyoung. The baby looking like himself hadn't even crossed his mind due to his own fantasy, "I can't wait until they're here," he rubbed at his eye in an attempt at preventing more tears f